>>938121567 (OP)
I'm Prison Mike! You wanna know why they call me Prison Mike? I stole. And I robbed. And I kidnapped... the... president's son. And held him for ransom.
I am here to scare you straight. I AM HERE TO SCARE YOU STRAIIIGHT!! In prison you are somebody's bitch. Oh, and you. You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop the soap! Don't drop the soap! Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, beeyotch?! All right, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's just the way we talk in the clink.
Look, prison stinks, is what I'm saying. It's not like you can go home, and, recharge your batteries, and come back in the morning and, be with your friends, having fun in the office.
Gruel sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.
The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors. They... were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And they'd come down, and they'd suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt!
