fapping to normal innocent stuff
Any Kiki?
Any Viki?
Any Bella?
Any Lili?
Any good celebs at all?
Couple weeks ago, I’m at a sports bar, cocksucka. Big screen, wings, cold beer, we’re watchin’ SummerSlam. Place smells like buffalo sauce and bad decisions — perfect night. And then… here comes fuckin’ J-Tard.
He rolls in — literally rolls in — on that haunted Herman Miller chair. And lemme tell you somethin’, I’ve seen sick people before, I’ve been around dying guys, junkies, you name it. But THIS… this was the most unhealthy, contaminated, diseased-lookin’ thing I’ve ever seen. This guy looked like if tetanus had a baby with a dumpster fire.
He’s got sores, ooze, the works. Smells like a wet ferret that’s been sittin’ in a laundry hamper for a month. His wig’s half on, there’s a rash on top of another rash, and I’m tryin’ to eat mozzarella sticks here.
He goes, ‘Y’know… alcohol is very unhealthy. Drinking isn't BASED. Little baby boy twinks are BASED.’ Bro… BRO… you’re sittin’ in a chair that’s turnin’ colors. You’re breathin’ in spores every time you open your mouth. Don’t fuckin’ lecture me about beer when your bloodstream is basically soup.
The guy’s got more infections than channels on the TV. His dick is green. And he’s pointin’ at my beer like I’m the problem? Listen to me — the only thing less healthy than that drink is YOU, cocksucka.
He lasted ten minutes before security escorted him out with gloves on. We all went back to watchin’ SummerSlam. Moral of the story: never let a mutant tell you about wellness while they’re leakin’ on your floor.
>>938220240Any contact at all with your family?
the men at the mall were staring at lil ari!
>>938220360they saids they were looking at lil aris bum!
>>938220336because i loudly proclaim that i love bbc
>>938220403he sells a cheap hamburger but i dont think i'd call him a goddess
>>938220454feels so good to pump and edge to
My skinny ass Thai wife is gone for the weekend and I'm gonna drink, do mushrooms, and jerk off to BBW porn all night you fucking degenerate dickheads yeeee-hawwwwwww!!!
>>938220537>>938220532Which one is Troy and which one is Jacobtard? They're basically the same person now.
>>938220537Might join you in that :)
>>938220572Stroking to that perfect child ass rn
>>938220613Are you okay, Jacobtard? I can see you're trying to trigger literally anyone you can, so you must be feeling pretty upset.
>>938220624some might say its a treat
>>938220684hnng. y-yeah... i hope so
>>938220670>Jacobtardidk I just like talking about fapping to legal brooke shields art
>>938220771Ah, so it is you. Predictable.
>>938220765throbbing just thinking about it
Mom was the mastermind behind everything
>>938220183 (OP)Must be before she went nuts, wanted to look like a real life horror movie killer
>>938220839yep but not with your hand
>>938220821Genuine question, is she the most cummed to child celeb of all time?
>>938220951taste as much as you like
>>938221001twirling my tongue around the tip
>>938221060moaning and letting a little precum dribble out onto your tongue
>>938221092i bet it's so delicious...
>>938221249but what if.. hypothetically... i wanted it...
>>938221136hits very differently when youve seen her naked
>>938221298Her tanlines in the playboy shoot kind of match that swimsuit too. I wonder if that's what she wore when she was suntanning.
>>938221216BF has been complete dogshit since 1, why would this one be any different
>>938221276then you pull out and i can hold out my hands, or yours...
>>938220694Worthless. If he can't get it up it's useless.