Thread 938222004

How does someone make friends after 25? I systematically destroyed each of my friendships one by one over the last two years, and I now how nobody left in my life. I'm desperate for something, I'm not interested in relationships or hookups, I just want to have friends again.

>>938222004 (OP)
go to prison

bars

>>938222004 (OP)
2 years? Took me about 20. You must be ambitious. There is actually an app for people who just want friends

make real life hobbies and talk to people

youre not alone in being alone. people are going to places regularly that arent about health to make friends and socialise.
go for 5km runs, almost everywhere has 5km runs early saturday/sunday morning where you get to know each other. go indoor rock climbing and talk to people.

its hard to make friends when youre scared of rejection. everyone likes to say making friends is hard, its not. its just that everyone is scared of the implications of "no" as a response, scared of rejection that they dont try being friends.

>>938222176
Should I sit and hope people come up to me? Or should I try to infiltrate nearby groups?

>>938222361
I'm not scared of rejection. I just don't know where to start. I've been a neet for 4 years. I have a drinking and drug problem. My personality is good, and I can become acquainted with people easily, but my tendency to flip out at minor things (bpd) drives people away after about a year

>>938222507
you have to be a bit sociable, that's the point right? you say you want to be sociable

>>938222580
I can definitely do that, but do I just go up to a table and say "Hey guys, I don't really have any friends, do you mind if I hang out with you guys for a bit tonight?" If so, I can definitely progress from there (I can hold a convo decently well), but I just don't know *specifically* how to initiate.

>>938222004 (OP)
You cross your fingers hard that your place of employment hires someone cool. No idea if you're a NEET, though.

>>938222917
I'm currently a neet, but looking for work. I drink at home often, so going to bars is well within my comfort zone, even if I start by just drinking there alone. I have no trouble making friends initially, but can I just walk up to a table and explain I'm trying to make friends and can I sit with them? It's a bit direct, and I'm not sure I would appreciate it in the other position, but I don't know any other way. Theres a card store near my place where people play Mtg, and I know of a few running groups like >>938222361 suggested (my mum wants me to go to a few of them, but I had another freakout episode so her and I are not on speaking terms at the moment). I'm in therapy at the moment and I'm going to some support groups soon, but are those sorts of groups and appropriate place to make friends? My therapist is also suggesting I go to AA, but again, I'm not sure that's an acceptable place to start making friends.

>>938223487
Of all those options I think the therapy group is probably your best bet. It's people with problems similar to yours trying to cope. Having friends is a great coping mechanism. If you connect with anyone ask if they'd want to grab a bite to eat and talk more about (whatever topic you have in common or came up in group). It might lead nowhere, but it also might work out.

>>938222004 (OP)
What hobbies /skills do you have?

>>938222004 (OP)
just start a cult, dude

>>938224071
I honestly don't have that many hobbies or many interesting things happening in my life because I lack a lot of natural momentum, and I'm completely dependent on other people to invite me to things, or befriend me or introduce me to hobbies. I used to play Mtg commander about 2-3 years ago, but I haven't been to the card store in ages. My decks are fully built, but I don't have a car to drove there at the moment. I have a gym membership as well but again, no car. I'm pretty boring day-to-day, to be honest, but if I ride off other people's momentum then I flourish

>>938224462
Social anxiety mane

>>938222004 (OP)
>I systematically destroyed each of my friendships one by one over the last two years

>>938223855
How should I go about making friends there? Start the first few sessions by waving goodbye or something afterwards, then progress each time into more direct contact, e.g. start saying Cya later, then next time ask for name, then time time after chat for 30 sec, then the next time after that, ask for instagram/personal contact, etc?

>>938224640
I really don't know, but...
>then next time ask for name
If you don't already know their name by this point I think you're doing something wrong. Don't they do introductions at the start of these things?

>>938224628
Funnily enough, was actually prescribed 3 antipsychotics because my bpd + substance abuse started giving me psychosis and I tried to stab my flatmate, who since distanced himself for safety reasons, but when I was medicated I stopped having thoughts entirely, and even forming the most basic sentence required a mental effort comparable to mid level algebra (in terms of concentration needed to form a BASIC thought), and I got pissed off at myself so I stopped taking them.

Meds *might* be an idea if I'm going for pure stability and emotional regulation, but I'd prefer a holistic approach, even a the risk of possible dysregulation. I *feel* better when surrounded by people who support me. On meds, I don't even feel human anymore

>>938224734
Yes, you're right, my mistake. I think right now, the support groups are my best option for social exposure. Thank you

>>938224484
You said you were looking for work in an earlier post, what jobs are you applying for?

>>938224955
Literally anything and everything. Theres 4 job websites where I'm from that are pretty well-known, and employers will post about 20-30 new jobs on there every day, so I apply for everything on each of the 4 websites on a daily basic. My CV looks fantastic initally, but it's entirely written by AI, and so are my cover letters, which might be reducing my chances of employability. I also have failed drug tests in the past, and this might be on record by am not entirely sure. I also tend to have a really bad history at jobs, starting out strong but getting depressed 2-3 weeks in and I start drinking heavily, showing up to work hungover, then high, then not at all. Most jobs I don't keep for longer than 6 months. I get stupidly suicidal for some reason, it's so autistic because nobody else has this problem, or if they do they can deal with it. But my work ethic, and work history is fucking atrocious.

But yeah, I'm applying for everything I can find. Is the AI helping me (more jobs applied for), or hindering me (people can tell its written by AI and ceebs)?

I don't really have any friends but I made a few aquaintaces when I volunteered to clean up a local stream. We put on our waterproofs and walked through it for a couple of miles (its only ankle deep). I had only volunteered for the pussy but I met some interestin people - the kind who would meet up and walk in a stream. Sorry I smoked too much and I dont't know what the fuck even is this. Anyway, volunteer for things! It might be fun and maybe you might make a friends.

>>938223487
Got any talents? I was planning to kill myself but I grew out of it and started making and selling my artwork. I don't earn much but I have a free house to live in due to perished parents so I'm not doing great finacially but I;m comfortable for now.

>>938225366
You're all good! I'm high as shit rn also so we on the same page. That's genuinely a solid suggestion though, hadn't thought of that. How'd you end up going there? Was it an advert that you signed up for, or did someone bring you along or..?

>>938225538
I used to go to uni and wanted to go into lab work but I stopped my degree in 3rd years bc of drug abuse. Honestly, no real talents, no drive or desire to go out and do anything, unless the idea is conceived by somebody else, or other people bring me along to something. I used to go rock climbing, but I have no idea how to get into the community again as a solo person. I literally just sit at home all day and do drugs and drink until I pass out. Drinking is also a large part of my personality and everyone picks up on it quickly. How do I navigate around this. I have no intentions of stopping my drinking or drugs use for now, at least until I have a stable support network of healthy people in my life.

>>938225188
Most CVs I see are AI generated and are instantly pushed a side in my line of work, we would rather see simple/shitty spelling CV that tells us what someone can do and what experience they have. No one wants to read a book made by a robot about your life, taking the time to write a cover letter shows you give a shit about the job. A corporate job yeah maybe… references are another big thing, write some family members down and change their last names and let them know. I was the same holding jobs until I figured out why it happened, It personally to me didn’t feel like i was moving forward in my jobs. Id come out guns blazing and get all shitty when id do the same thing everyday. When you land a job don’t stop applying for jobs, having a job makes you way employable.

>>938222004 (OP)
i wish i knew
i haven't had a friend in 16 years
i tried going to events and the gym and stuff, but nothing came of.it

>>938225854
So write the CV and cover letters completely by hand, then when I land a shitty job, take it and immediately start applying for the next job to replace it?

>>938225558
I can't remember exactly how I found out - I think it was a blog about the local area. They do a river walk every 6 months, clear up any crap dumped there then all go for a drink after. I had nothing else to do so I went. Also the stream goes underground in large tunnels in places and I was curious about what was in there (spiders hanging from the ceiling and rats).

>>938225735
I've been addicted to poppy pod tea for about 7 years now. I'm not in denial - I know I'm dependant on it but I can easilly afford it, so as long as that's the case I don''t plan on quitting. Sometimes I go without it for a while to lower my tolerance but I know that I'll always go back to it in the end.

I started taking it because I was in despair. I tried antidepressants, I tried cognitive behavioral therapy (absolute bullshit btw) nothing worked. I just wanted a little bit of euphoria in my life. I couldn't do it naturally so I cheated and took a drug but that's fine by me.

>>938225975
Yeah pretty much, if you show your working you don’t look like you’re just filling in job applications for a unemployment cheque. Im sure your a pretty bright kid, learn the job you land first you’ll know it pretty well by the 2nd or 3rd month. hopefully by that time you’ll have another job offer somewhere else and have new skills and people you know from last job. Make up a bullshit excuse without dragging the last employer through the mud on why you are leaving the last job etc not enough shifts or whatever. Gather more skills and experience and you won’t feel like shit because everything is fresh and new. Buy your car and your tiny pond becomes a pool of job opportunities. Im personally a jack of all trades guys but I need this to not self destruct.

>>938222004 (OP)
if you get married and have kids your schedule will be so full you wont need to think about it.
People arent having kids now and expect the wild times of their 20's to just continue into eternity.
Doesn't work like that.
All you have is dating apps. Artificial friendships from work. Artificial freindship from 'clubs' (D&D club, Jujitsu, anime etc) and akward outings with friends from highschool who look at their watch and wonder when they get to go home because they got married and had kids.

>>938227555
Mate I'm comboing meth and LSD most weekends just to feel something, I don't want to go on dates, I don't want a relationship, I just want a normal life with friends but nothing feels like anything anymore

>>938227797
meth and LSD interesting combo.
you're not worried about hitting the meth head psychosis stage?

>>938227902
That actually happened 8 times in total over the last 12 months, but I keep doing drugs because I have nothing else. Sobriety is crushing. That's why I'm desperate to break free from it by finding healthy people to hang out with, I'm just a little stuck on where to start

>>938227902
I want to try meth. I know someone who took it and was more horny than he was when his childhood gf first spread her legs for him. He almost came just watching porn and not even touching.

Gays love it and spend days fucking each other with no resting Their balls must be running on empty after that.

>>938228327
I'll be honest it's not that great. The first time smoking weed was much more euphoric.
Meth feels like when you start reading a really good book and you can sit there for hours turning page after page. Or when you start cleaning your room and hit a weird flow state and then clean the whole house. Its that exact feeling, but about 2-3x as strong. It's not euphoric, but theres this relaxed, clearheadedness that makes anything feel fun. It doesn't feel that different from sober, but at the same time, everything becomes super interesting. It feels like you've taken a really really good multivitamin, not a Schedule 9 narcotic stimulant. But tbh weed is better.

>>938228570

One of the first times I tried weed I smoked too much and got anxious about not being able to feel the lower half of my body. I then found out that I really wanted to fuck my female friend sitting next to me - and her legs/knees kept facing me no matter where I sat down.,, so maybe she was enjoying it as much as me? Nothing happened sexwise though. Later our neighbours cat somehow found its way into the house, and walked into the room we were in and loudly meowed - It doesn't sound funny now but at the time we were in tears from laughing so hard.

>>938222004 (OP)
Soon the globe will be all of my personal elements of /pol/. Friendship and humanity now returns to all of the young girls everywhere in as planetary real life prevails, who can be expected to hate hunt jews online with the feracity of the young tigress. Just be sure to show her /pol/ so she doesn't grow stunted and brainwashed and arrested in the development and severely injured and disadvantaged.

https://files.catbox.moe/gtgtie.mp4
https://files.catbox.moe/b8tid9.png

>>938231742
lay low.

>>938225854
If you're looking for a job, people don't want to know that you were in girl scouts in 4th grade or that you like to knit in your spare time.

They want to know your work experience, but they can look that up online. So the resume is a waste of time, which makes Human Resources a waste of air.

>>938231986
Give Birth To It Girl.