Thread 938671957

what is the dumbest way you've hurt yourself

>>938671957 (OP)
Staying alive.

Got really drunk at a rough bar and called a huge guy a faggot. I am now hard of hearing in my right ear.

>>938672054
Well be that as it may you're certainly not hurting others. We enjoy reading your posts here anon <3

Masturbated

>>938671957 (OP)
window was frozen shut, tried to pound on it to break the ice. Glass borke, cut the tendons in my hand

>>938672278
damn

>>938671957 (OP)
Broke arm trying to handstand on an excercise trampoline. Snapped it right into a Z shape. Easily the most painfuI. I was 11.

Camped once. Got firewood. Put thumb down to hold a big stick I was gonna chop. Took the axe, missed and chopped right into the back of my thumb. Still went to work the next week. Took 2 years to fully heal. 2nd most painful.

>>938671957 (OP)
I incarnated into a mortal body to be sexually abused by an alien. He has been ass raping me every few hours for 35 years. Magical gay rape wraiths swarm around my body and take turns raping every hole on my body. They taunt me and punch my head. Just last week I was walking to the fartmart to shart, and they pushed me down and started raping my poo. I was screaming and crying, and somebody called the police on me. They actually ended up arresting me for being raped.

>>938675880
Ouch.
>>938676016
Boooo. Gay.

>>938672054
>live miserable life
>survive until old age
>never been happy, comfortable, or even satisfied
>get ass-cancer and die painfully

>>938672278
>>938675880
The only two remotely good in this thread.
>>938672122
Dubs gets an honorable mention cus he mouthed off lol.

>>938671957 (OP)
Jumped off a bridge on rollerblades.
>my friend's fw checking if i was alright

>>938676043
>>938676555
Oh, good. The Rotten Tomato reviewers are here. Now we can all know what we should think of all the stories here. What's the tomato scores, guys?

>>938672238
What happen, did your pp fall off

>>938676782
Yep

>>938676664
Critic Score: 10%
Audience Score: 45%

>>938671957 (OP)
i got married once

>>938671957 (OP)
I was stabbing a wall in anger, knife slipped and sliced across two of my fingers. Felt pretty fucking stupid.

Nothing insane but my pinky no longer bends correctly so I guess I nicked something important.

>>938679130
Was this in 1985? If so I know you.

>>938679224
Nah this was like 2019 or something, maybe a little earlier.

>>938671957 (OP)
Strained my jaw so badly I had to live off his chocolate syrup sauce for a month

>>938671957 (OP)
I was building a gaming chair (not worth it, just get a comfortable office chair, I didn't know this at the time), and I was testing the reclining feature as I was building it. I stood over it and reclined it, then I hit the lever to straighten it back up and smacked my self hard as fuck in the face.

After it happened I was like "I deserved that. Thats makes sense"

>>938671957 (OP)
Being too drunk to remember how it happened.

>>938671957 (OP)
Slipped a disc leaning over sideways to pluck eyebrows in the side mirror.
It usually doesn't bother me but it does cause issues sometimes and also prevents me from wearing a backpack as that puts pressure on it.
It also happened over a decade ago.