>[NSFW] Stick your dick into a pringles can
>Hey so I am a fat fucking retard and therefore I won't ever get something even remotely close to a girlfriend and if that hits close to home, I have the perfect solution for you: a fucking Pringles can. Oh, you'll also need some sponges (not too thick ones) and disposable gloves. If you're confident, which shouldn't be the case since you're probably a fat fucking retard as well, you should buy luble to, otherwise I'd recommend using a shampoo and water mixture (at least that works for me).
>If you managed to get all of those things together, you'll firstly need to eat all of the Pringles and clean the inside, then make two big holes on the bottom sides of the can (because air and stuff). Then, get three your sponge's and make a triangle with them. After making the sponge-triangle, put them into the can. If you did everything correctly so far, the sponges should have an empty space in the middle which will late be the thing you'll stick your wiener into. Since Pringles cans are pretty tall (?) you'll have to make several triangles and layer them up until they reach the top of the can. After successfully filling your can, there are not a lot of steps left until you can forget that you'll be forever alone for an hour or so. Now take a glove and put it into the "sponge-hole" so the part in which you'd normally stick your hand in is at the top. To prevent the glove from moving way too much, just wrap the top of it around the Pringles can. Don't really know how to explain that step any better but I hope you get it. You're retarded, but hopefully not that retarded. The only thing to do before being able to forget your loneliness is putting the lube/sopa-water mixture in to the glove. After successfully completing all of these steps you're done! You actually did something right! Too bad that'll probably be the only thing you'll ever do right.
>If you managed to get all of those things together, you'll firstly need to eat all of the Pringles and clean the inside, then make two big holes on the bottom sides of the can (because air and stuff). Then, get three your sponge's and make a triangle with them. After making the sponge-triangle, put them into the can. If you did everything correctly so far, the sponges should have an empty space in the middle which will late be the thing you'll stick your wiener into. Since Pringles cans are pretty tall (?) you'll have to make several triangles and layer them up until they reach the top of the can. After successfully filling your can, there are not a lot of steps left until you can forget that you'll be forever alone for an hour or so. Now take a glove and put it into the "sponge-hole" so the part in which you'd normally stick your hand in is at the top. To prevent the glove from moving way too much, just wrap the top of it around the Pringles can. Don't really know how to explain that step any better but I hope you get it. You're retarded, but hopefully not that retarded. The only thing to do before being able to forget your loneliness is putting the lube/sopa-water mixture in to the glove. After successfully completing all of these steps you're done! You actually did something right! Too bad that'll probably be the only thing you'll ever do right.