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Thread 938961933

93 posts 16 images /b/
Anonymous No.938961933 >>938961934 >>938961935 >>938961936 >>938961937 >>938961939 >>938961941 >>938961942 >>938961944 >>938961955 >>938961956 >>938961957 >>938961967 >>938961972 >>938961976 >>938961981 >>938961984 >>938961988 >>938962003 >>938962024
why did he do it
Anonymous No.938961934 >>938961953 >>938961969
>>938961933 (OP)
Caesar is a big boy, you could see him from space
Anonymous No.938961935
>>938961933 (OP)
The senate was making a move, he had to get it on
Anonymous No.938961936 >>938961946
>>938961933 (OP)
huh, for some reason I always imagined the Rubicon being somewhere in northwest Italy
Anonymous No.938961937 >>938961938 >>938961987
>>938961933 (OP)
As governor, he had immunity from all the laws he broke as governor of Gaul.
He was given an ultimatum: give up the governorship and go to exile, or be declared rebel.
If he had entered exile, he would have likely been assassinated.
Anonymous No.938961938 >>938961943 >>938961947
>>938961937
The better question is why the Senate thought this was a smart move
Anonymous No.938961939
>>938961933 (OP)
>why did he do it
I think he wanted to roll dice or something.
Anonymous No.938961940 >>938961964
POMPEY MAGNUS I HAVE A QUESTION CONCERNING YOUR FRIEND AND CO-CONSUL-- THE DARLING OF VENUS, GAIUS JULIUS CAESAR.
WHY DOES HIS CHAIR REMAIN EMPTY ? WHY DOES HE NOT COME HOME ? HIS ILLEGAL WAR IS OVER.
GAUL IS LONG SINCE ON ITS KNEES.
WHY DOES CAESAR KEEP HIS BRAVE SOLDIERS FROM THEIR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS ? FOR EIGHT LONG YEARS, HE HAS GORGED HIMSELF LIKE A WOLF ON THE BLOOD OF GAUL, AND THEREBY MADE HIMSELF MONSTROUSLY RICH.
- WHY ? WHY DOES HE PLY THE MOB WITH RACES AND FIGHTS AND GAUDY FEASTS ? WHY HAS HE PAID THE DEBTS OF EVERY REPROBATE FOOL IN THIS SENATE HOUSE ? WHY ?! I'LL TELL YOU WHY HE DOES THESE THINGS.
HE WANTS TO BUY HIMSELF A CROWN.
HE WANTS TO DESTROY THE REPUBLIC AND RULE ROME AS A BLOODY TYRANT ! THAT'S WHY ! THEREFORE, I MOVE THAT CAESAR'S GOVERNORSHIP IN GAUL BE TERMINATED IMMEDIATELY, THAT HIS ARMIES BE DISBANDED AND THAT HE BE RECALLED TO ROME TO ANSWER CHARGES OF ILLEGAL WARFARE, THEFT, BRIBERY AND TREASON!
Anonymous No.938961941
>>938961933 (OP)
He rolled a 6.
Anonymous No.938961942 >>938961975
>>938961933 (OP)
To get to the other side.
Anonymous No.938961943
>>938961938
They got sick of Cato browbeating them for 12 hours a day and were like fuck it let him have this for gods sake I have slave pussy to fuck
Anonymous No.938961944
>>938961933 (OP)
I actually thought the Rubicon was a river in Canada
Anonymous No.938961945 >>938961948 >>938961961
This book was unbelievable kino. Goldsworthys book about Octavian is even better somehow, probably because Octavian lived a more impressive and interesting life. It's a shame there are so few historical figures of this magnitude for which there is enough historical reference to write a narrative autobiography like these.
Anonymous No.938961946
>>938961936
It is. Cisalpine Gaul was on the other side.
Anonymous No.938961947 >>938961991 >>938961992
>>938961938
Senate wasn't rational.
Sulla broke the republic, and by the time of the 1st triumvirate, it was on life support.
After the Punic Wars, Romans had problems with mega farmers who seized all the land from the small farmers, which means the number of landless poor increased drastically. This issue only got worse over time, and gabe birth to populism and reforms.
People like the Gracchi brothers and Gaius Marius tried to redistribute land, but their efforts were suppressed by Sulla and the conservatives.
But the issue didn't go way, just kept boiling.
Anonymous No.938961948 >>938961949 >>938961951 >>938961962
>>938961945
Scipio africanus blows them both out of the water as Im sure you read his puic wars book you should know.
>saved his injured dad and survived a loss against hannibal
>survived fucking cannae and helped rally survivors, pupled out his sword and threatened cowardly deserters
>goes to spain, takes a capital city by storm which was all but unheard of in those times
>defeats hannibals brother and breaks up most of his army so they dont make it to Italy
>defeats the other main general in spain
>beats hannibal at zama

No idea why hannibal or ceasar get mentioned as generals before him given he beat hannibal 1v1
Anonymous No.938961949
>>938961948
I did read that book but I kinda put it out of my mind because of how his story ends. It's like when I read Goldsworthys book on the fall of the roman empire and I'm just hoping the entire time that it won't turn out how I know it does like a retard lol
Anonymous No.938961950 >>938961952 >>938961959
Would have ceasar wonned in Parthia?
Anonymous No.938961951 >>938961954
>>938961948
Because Scipio had the advantage of Roman soldiers and thus far superior infantry?
femanon !M6R0eWkIpk No.938961952
>>938961950
yes
Anonymous No.938961953 >>938961969
>>938961934
I never knew he was so rectangular
Anonymous No.938961954
>>938961951
They had roman soldiers at trebia trasamaine (sp?) And cannae and when his uncle got rekt in spain anon.
Anonymous No.938961955
>>938961933 (OP)
>real jerk named Caesar stomping around Romagna
Why does this happen so often?
Anonymous No.938961956
>>938961933 (OP)
you know... alea iacta est and stuff
Anonymous No.938961957 >>938961960
>>938961933 (OP)
>come back to Rome so we can arrest and kill you
Anonymous No.938961958
The die was cast...he HAD to get it on.
Anonymous No.938961959 >>938962019 >>938962023
>>938961950
did he have any journals or anything to explain how he was going to solve the range cavalry with infinite arrows problem
Anonymous No.938961960 >>938961963
>>938961957
>uh, you don't get to bring friends
Anonymous No.938961961
>>938961945
octavian was pure kino
love that lil nigga
Anonymous No.938961962
>>938961948
Probably cause Caesars writings from the conquest of Gaul survived so he remained in the public conscious consistently.
Anonymous No.938961963 >>938961990
>>938961960
hes a big guy
for V
Anonymous No.938961964 >>938961965 >>938961966 >>938961970 >>938961973 >>938961985
>>938961940
cringe show.
Such terrible acting all the way through. At no moment did these actors come across as Roman Italians; it was always brits in weird dress up for toga tuesday at Westminster.
Anonymous No.938961965 >>938961966 >>938961978 >>938961986 >>938962015
>>938961964
I liked Caesar but that's probably cause Ciaran Hinds is kino. The worst offenders to for me were the actors that played Pompeii, Cicero and Cato. Just nothing at all to do with the actual people as they were in history. Actually wait, of course the worst are Octavian and Agrippa. The greatest Roman ever reduced to a sister-fucking autistic and the greatest second in command/wingman in history being reduced to a lovesick bitchmade puppy. I can't even rewatch the show it grinds my gears so much.
Anonymous No.938961966
>>938961965
>>938961964
i was gonna shit on you both but you're right, i still love the show but yeah you're right
Anonymous No.938961967
>>938961933 (OP)
To get to the other side
Anonymous No.938961968 >>938961971
Because Cicero and his allies were going to wrongfully prosecute him for overextending his proconsulship in Gaul
Anonymous No.938961969
>>938961934
>>938961953
he was fair and SQUARE
Anonymous No.938961970
>>938961964
It was good and fun. Despite taking lots of liberties it hit a lot of the main beats accurately
Anonymous No.938961971
>>938961968
*Cato, I meant Cato, not Cicero
Anonymous No.938961972
>>938961933 (OP)
>2025
>no Aurelian movie or show
End my suffering
Anonymous No.938961973 >>938961979
>>938961964
you know that its based on a Shakespeare play right anon?
Anonymous No.938961974 >>938961977 >>938961995
Cato was possibly the most butthurt politician in Roman history. Even more so than the Bibulus the cucked.
Anonymous No.938961975
>>938961942
>plvcked chicken crosses the rvbicon in yov're path
Anonymous No.938961976
>>938961933 (OP)
They were going to arrest him
Anonymous No.938961977 >>938961993 >>938962001
>>938961974
Carthago delenda est
Anonymous No.938961978
>>938961965
I thought Marc Antony was well-portrayed.
Anonymous No.938961979
>>938961973
I don't mind Shakespeare's play that much. It is decently researched and much of the dialogue is taken straight from historians of the era like Plutarch and Lucan. The show didn't do this though.
Anonymous No.938961980
>brutus's mother starts harping on him
>he says 'you too mother?'
kek don't care what you autismos say this show is amazing
Anonymous No.938961981
>>938961933 (OP)
He wanted a gasoline tulpa gf
Anonymous No.938961982
>Καὶ σὺ, τέκνον;
I cry everytime ;_;
Anonymous No.938961983
>Oh no this guy is getting too powerful, let's give him even more power
Anonymous No.938961984
>>938961933 (OP)
Blame sulla
Rome went through 100 of years of decay after the brothers gracchi were murdered
Anonymous No.938961985
>>938961964
I’d hate to be you
Anonymous No.938961986
>>938961965
How did you feel about how young Octavian was portrayed? Personally I think his actor was fantastic.
Anonymous No.938961987
>>938961937
>He was given an ultimatum: give up the governorship and go to exile, or be declared rebel.
that's cool as shit, no wonder the kikes hate criminals not being eternally encarcelated/bombed and nothing else
Anonymous No.938961988 >>938961996
>>938961933 (OP)
BTW everyone collectively forgot where this river was and it had to be rediscovered.
Anonymous No.938961989
Someone had to put his foot down.
Anonymous No.938961990
>>938961963
What's the next line of your master oration?
Anonymous No.938961991 >>938961998
>>938961947
for anyone that wants to learn more about this, rather than the generic roman history shit, look up tribunate on youtube. great little roman history channel
Anonymous No.938961992 >>938961994
>>938961947
something something modern america
Anonymous No.938961993 >>938962001 >>938962004
>>938961977
that's cato the elder you retard. he was long dead when caesar was up to his hijinks, the cato you mean to talk about is cato the younger
Anonymous No.938961994
>>938961992
first as tragedy, then as farce
its like pottery it rhymes
Anonymous No.938961995 >>938961997
>>938961974
When you live during the same time as Cicero, the true gigachad of Rome and protector of the Repuiblic.
Anonymous No.938961996
>>938961988
IIUC it remains a speculation that that was the river
Anonymous No.938961997 >>938962000
>>938961995
cicero was also a massive cuck that had no principles and tried to flit back and forth between factions to protect his status
unironically caesar had the republic's best interest at heart. he wanted to revitalize the smallhold farmers that formed the core of the legions so rome could keep conquering forever but the ultrarich didn't want to share any wealth with anyone even if that meant destroying the recruitment pool for the legions
Anonymous No.938961998
>>938961991
are there any good rome podcasts
Anonymous No.938961999 >>938962020
Reminder that Caesar was a proto-communist who wanted to tear down the traditions of Rom, import foreign senators, and redistribute wealth. On top of that, or should I say the bottom, the mighty Caesar was taken like a woman!
Anonymous No.938962000 >>938962002
>>938961997
Delusional. That was just a tool to make his legions and the people happy. Caesar was gunning for Dictator from the start of his political career.
Anonymous No.938962001
>>938961977
>>938961993
Anonymous No.938962002
>>938962000
>gunning for Dictator from the start
he objectively wasn't. he just wanted to join the old boys club and they snubbed him and then he made it his quest to fuck them over
Anonymous No.938962003
>>938961933 (OP)
He found his nation in the legion
Anonymous No.938962004 >>938962005
>>938961993
Right but cato the elder was butthurt enough to end every single speech with
>carthage pls go
For years
Anonymous No.938962005
>>938962004
ok I see what you're saying. I assumed you meant cato the younger because he was also an assblasted little faggot and he was alive in caesars time.
Anonymous No.938962006 >>938962007 >>938962008 >>938962021
Romans creep me out. Apparently they only gave names to their first three kids (and there only was like a handful of first names to pick from) and then the rest of their children just got numbers for their names. Also they then just adopted adults and gave them their inheritance.
Why were they like this?
Anonymous No.938962007
>>938962006
More than half of Pakistani marriages are between first cousins
Anonymous No.938962008 >>938962012
>>938962006
roman names had 2-3 names. the nomen, what we would call the surname, identified which family you belonged to. this was the most important name you had unless you had a cognomen.
the praenomen, what we might call the given name, wasn't very important and was mostly there so you could tell people from the same family apart. there were only about 20 you could choose from because that's the tradition and romans fucking loved their traditions.
the cognomen was almost like a title or epithet but was still part of your name. you earned them either for some great feat or some particularly unique feature about you.
they didn't only name their first 3 children, they just reused the same praenomen a lot. women also tended to not even be given praenomina.

and for adoption, its because you needed a male heir to take care of you when you got old but it was very easy for all your kids to die so you needed to find some guy with no parents and make him your son. or you knew your kids were worthless shitheads so you found a nice boy and replaced your useless spawn with this new guy. he would get the inheritance as payment for taking care of 2 strange old people.
Anonymous No.938962009 >>938962010 >>938962011
Didn't Scipio say he didn't have an old polished name like brutus?
Wtf, one of his ancestors pretty much solo'd punic war 2 electric boogaloo and defeated hannibal and another won punic war 3 and destroyed Carthage. How much more name does he need?
Anonymous No.938962010 >>938962011
>>938962009
the very first brutus was one of the guys that supposedly overthrew the roman monarchy and established the republic. the romans were a very traditional people, so you really wanted to try and tie yourself back to the very founding of the republic if you could.
yes winning the punic wars was huge, but it wasn't mythically huge like the accomplishments of the first brutus
Anonymous No.938962011 >>938962013
>>938962009
>>938962010
for an american example, its the difference between the roosevelts or kennedies, and the washingtons or jeffersons.
yeah the first 2 are pretty big names, but holy shit the second 2 have godlike reputations
Anonymous No.938962012 >>938962014
>>938962008
so how does their bureaucracy not collapse if there's loads of close relatives who have the same name? wouldn't you use just that to commit tax fraud etc?
Anonymous No.938962013
>>938962011
>the jeffersons
Nothing compared to the Sanfords
Anonymous No.938962014 >>938962016
>>938962012
first off, there was no bureaucracy in rome. and close relatives didn't have the same name. maybe they had the same praenomen, they definitely had the same nomen, but they wouldn't have the same cognomen. using caesar's full name as an example
gaius (praenomen, I think it was a relatively uncommon choice) julius (nomen, the julia family, a very old roman family) caesar (cognomen, idk what it means or why he chose/was given that cognomen). if he had a relative, this guy might be called gaius julius verrucosus: gaius (praenomen) julius (nomen) verrucosus (cognomen, means warty) because maybe he had a really obvious set of warts on his nose or some shit. (yes a roman was actually given that cognomen for being a warty dude)

and look up the roman tax system some time, its wild. you have no idea how different modern centralized states are from classical societies
Anonymous No.938962015
>>938961965
Dumbass. What you think as "actual people" were based on third hand accounts written h:ndreds of years after the person had died, and often mutated by the then politics and propaganda. Most americans think that the Romans look and behave like Italians. Italians are germanic-arabic mongrels who are not true Romans. We don't really know how real Romans talked and behaved. All we have are glorified propaganda and some grafitti.
Anonymous No.938962016 >>938962017
>>938962014
>yes a roman was actually given that cognomen for being a warty dude
Till they renamed him the delayer for saving the republic
Anonymous No.938962017 >>938962018
>>938962016
didn't rename him, just added it on. that's the other part of roman names. you could in theory just keep piling cognomena on if you did increasingly impressive stuff. but going beyond 4 was rare and even then only happened in the imperial era. normally it was against tradition to give 1 man that much fame since it smelled like he was angling to be king
Anonymous No.938962018
>>938962017
Fabius, the great warty delayer
Anonymous No.938962019 >>938962022
>>938961959
couldnt he just have done the normal strat against horse archer cheese and targeted parthian logistics and cities to the point where their armies collapsed from the inside, or was the infrastructure in the desert just too hostile to roman troops
Anonymous No.938962020
>>938961999
>proto-communist
Lets see here he put the people of italy first, very nationalistic of him
He also wanted to redistribute wealth to help the citizens of Rome, very socialist of him
Gosh I wish there was a name for Nationalist Socialists
Anonymous No.938962021
>>938962006
>Why were they like this?
Extreme child mortality for one thing
Also because Romans were incredibly legalistic. They viewed their civilization as the only real and legitimate one and so they viewed their laws as the only real and legitimate ones, meaning that to a Roman, something viewed as true by law might easily be viewed as true by nature.
Anonymous No.938962022
>>938962019
You want to siege out an enemy in their territory where they can attack your weak supply lines?
Or storm their city wth horse archers on you?
Anonymous No.938962023
>>938961959
Probably some crazy next level mantlets
Anonymous No.938962024
>>938961933 (OP)
they were going to imprison him and he didn't want to go to jail
Anonymous No.938962274
Retarded ass janny. Why didn't you move this to /his/?