Thread 938978412

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I hear hatred and resentment? I don't believe anyone speaking good when I remember their hatred and resentment. I don't want to be the way I am, I want to be a good person who can help others, but I'm this filth stuck where I am just letting life do whatever.

No amount of hurting myself is going to make me change. I'm frustrated myself with being so stupid, but I'm too stuck to know how to fix myself. I don't know what I'm lacking, but I'm lacking something very critical and I can't understand.

I'm lost and broken, and trying to ask help makes me feel retarded because I can't understand half the shit they're saying. I just want to be normal

>>938978412 (OP)
Seems like you have issues with letting things go, OP.

>>938978587
Thank you for responding to my vent

>>938978412 (OP)
bad thoughts and energy are generated in the penis and testicles. if you want to stop this, simply remove the penis and testicles

>>938978836
You first

I think you should find a hobby to attach to, and also use the same tools to seek the hatred out of someone on yourself.
What helped me see the good in other people is by analyzing what selfish, hate filled things I also do. It forced me to analyze the good things as well.

Finding the missing piece of what’s wrong with you is very difficult. You must understand that most people are base level retarded just like you.

>>938978954
while that's a valid view point it's a little out of date, current medical literature suggests OP has a substantially higher chance of recovery if instead his penis and testicles are removed. maybe with a hammer?

>>938979029
Thank you, Doctor that recommends castration, for making edits to my answer.

>>938978954
> and also use the same tools to seek the hatred out of someone on yourself.
I'm trying to understand what that means, but reading this, my full-blown retarded brain's going to a specific thought involving my evil killing other evils before taking myself out.
I'm probably misinterpreting your advice, but I feel like analyzing everything everyone has said to try to figure them out is what got me to my mindset in the first place. I've locked myself away because I've lost my mind and I'm afraid of exposing myself to what little I have left. I've wanted to do something, write fun little stories or some shit, but everything living within me is so damn repulsive and incomprehensible that nothing makes sense when it comes out, and it's like every attempt to talk to others just shows how insanely out of touch I am.

I can't believe in myself when I know I'm so broken and flawed it's easy to just bullshit me into whatever...

>>938978412 (OP)
>>938979284
goats 4 kiddiepr0n

>>938979284
I mean, my advice would be similar to anon's. The first thing you need to do is to find something constructive to do with your life. If you continue to bring positive changes into the world, no matter how small, you will be better for it.
This is what he meant by finding a hobby.
By doing good, you can also bring yourself to see the good that others do, helping fix your world view.
For me, back in the day, that was growing roses. I got to see something I cared for grow and become beautiful before my very eyes.
Pick something to better the world and focus on the beauty you bring rather than yourself. Eventually your self loathing will start to dissipate.

not OP but i will use this thread:
i'm finally getting my life together, but something really bad happened, i looked at the past (shouldn't have looked) and now i get random sleepless nights, break down crying randomly, and realizing what i've lost makes me question if there's any point in going forward, i don't want to question it, i fought so hard for it, but here i am, depressed
hope i find a good ending

Everything I do feels wrong and I don't know how to study for the things I want to learn. People are telling me shit I can't understand, and I don't know how to apply myself. I wrote a character sheet of my story, sent it to one person who said it needs "format" and "structure." Didn't tell me what that is, but told me it needed it.

I feel so goddamn retarded trying to talk to people. Even talking about < in memes, he's surprised I can only see it as a mathematical symbol because that's all I can see it as. I'm sorry I'm not a real liberal gay who has 10+ friends talking about shit and social media, no I'm some fucking freak who hides in his world of buff furry men, away from playing a constantly stressful game of "How the fuck do I get people to think I'm at least tolerable as a human being?"

Like... I want friends, but there's no way anyone can be friends with someone as socially fucked up as I am. I want to have projects, make friends with passions we share and work on wonderful things together and bullshit about life.

Why am I such a goddamn failure? Where did I go wrong? Why am I so lost?

>>938988579
>Why am I such a goddamn failure? Where did I go wrong? Why am I so lost?
did something happen recently that made you realize this? you could try remembering your life and answering these yourself

>>938987011
As long as you're breathing, you have a chance to improve things for yourself. Progress is important, perfection isn't necessary. Just focus on the progress you're making and on your own stability. Everything else can wait.
To dwell on stuff that you can't change won't do you any good, focus on the things you can and make the best of it all.

>>938988579
Have you tried chatting with others into furries with fat bara cocks? I think there's tons of them on here. Might be a way to get at least online friends with some shared interests.

>>938989189
but i'm over 30, getting close to 35, i always wanted a romantic relationship, society forced me to choose between vapid sex or nothing at all, and now i'm blocked from having what i always wanted by being judged doing something i didn't want

>>938989600
What's stopping you?
I started going out with my wife at age 29
And I don't think a year or 2 would have changed that since she had dated dudes older than me before that.
Society didn't force you to choose anything, even if mainstream shit might point that way. The key is to get out there and meet people who share interests. Sometimes this means going off the beaten path or out of your comfort zone.
We can't grow if we don't make the effort to move forward.
Talk to new people, make connections. You can get there if you try.

>>938989771
Besides the "looking at the past" situation, i regret not saying "hi" to a girl i could have met 6 years ago at a coffee place, i was so stupid not to do so, i thought it would seem desperate to go after her and maybe i'd meet her another day but the place closed and it's another business
i've been trying to make something like this happen again but i'm afraid i'm not as attractive as i was