The most peaceful single moment in my life was when I drowned at a beach when I was 8 years old.
It was so sudden, so unexpected the undertow caught my ankle dragged me down and kept me there for several minutes until I got pulled out.
After work during my daily shower I curl fetal on the floor and try to imitate that moment. The perfect balance of what was and what never will be relative to my life. The pain of dying and the peace of acceptance.
Nearly dying and expecting to never feel anything ever again puts your petty bullshit into perfect clarity.
(I feel like that’s ten times more substantive and helpful than
>>939470022 so suck my balls if you don’t like it.)
By the way I’m not saying to kill yourself, going out of your way to kill yourself would hurt. A lot. And it would be incredibly scary and traumatizing (even a gunshot in the head keeps your soul scrambled into bits for a minutes before it’s too damaged to continue.)
I’m just saying there’s catharsis in accepting inescapable facts.