Thread 939564113

I am a toilet.

Eat girl poop

>>939564113 (OP)
you're much cooler when you're doing the log thing


................................. not joking

>>939564136
More plz

>>939564113 (OP)
oke, this must be the cure to the logposter. pleas post this frequently from this day

>>939564178
There is always more girl poop it's made fresh every day

>>939564113 (OP)

you want yellow barrel with nuukilar warnings for that sterilized food?

WHY THE ONLY PPL IN HERE THAT I RESPECT ARE SHANE & THE LOGFAG:

1: obviously because both of them earned it

2: because obviously I can relate to them

3: and because Commodore Amiga

(most of you cream puffs wouldn't know anything about Amigas, because Your memories don't go back any farther than Teletubbies)

>>939564228
I mean noone asked but that's cool and shit

Moar girlpoops

>>939564412
funny you'd ask.....

and SURE, I'll tell you the entire story

back then, they didn't yet have plastic test tube coca cola

yep... those 2 liter bottles begin as a plastic test tube with a twist off spiral molded into the top. they extrude the bottle by injecting high pressure heated air.

but back then, they actually made GIANT GLASS BOTTLES of coca cola

to be continued

>>939564647
Meds LOLvis

a 2 liter and 20 oz bottle before extrusion, respectively

Faggot log nigger thread

>>939564680
and I realize you're thinking "they never made gigantic glass bottles of Coca-Cola"

But you're wrong

>>939564701
Grow up

>>939564735
You spam log threads, YOU grow up faggot

The glass of 2 liter bottles were actually listed as 67.6 oz instead of the metric system because this was before you guys were born...

........ might not look like much

just a little glass, right?

well... it was THICK GLASS

extra thick, intended to minimize the possibility of breakage but not prevent it I suppose.

And it doesn't look like much when it's empty... but add 67.6 oz to that bottle and it becomes a lot heavier

solid mother fucking glass

>>939564745
Take your meds.

You might already know where this story is going....

That's a dangerous fucking weapon...

And I believe back then they probably only charged like $1 maybe? back then it might even been 79 cents

But it's a cheap fucking weapon, that's for damn sure

And no ballistics

while you formulate and envision how this story ends, give me a moment and I'm going to see if I can't find how much those bottles of Coca-Cola used to cost I'll be back in a minute

oh and by the way....

you'll learn at the end of this story that it turns out the glass was so fucking thick it refused to break

WHICH ACTUALLY MADE IT A LOT MORE DANGEROUS

interesting..... because I although I've yet to find the PRICE of a 2iter coke in the 70s...

I learned they were discontinued for shattering in stores...

But I just got done saying they were really thick glass that didn't want to break...

well I guess obviously both of those statements are true because I know my anecdotal experience with one of these bottles lol

as you're about to find out

But I'd imagine they didn't just spontaneously shatter on the shelves...

obviously it was customers. human error. Knocking them off the shelf and yes, I'd imagine glass would shatter if you drop it from that point directly onto a concrete floor with a laminated finish....

so.................

where are we?

exactly where we want to be

how to be continued

..... there's a lot of feet enthusiasts on this website

apparently this website must have some written disclaimer that I've missed somewhere somehow....

I've looked for it but I haven't seen it yet... maybe if one of you guys could point it out for me...

it'll be a disclaimer that says:
"THIS SITE IS SPECIFICALLY FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE A FEAR OF INTIMACY"

If you'll point it out to me, then I'll quickly leave and never return because that would mean I'm violating the policy here....

And we all know the truth about feet, don't we?

.......... I mean, no need for me to explain it AGAIN, right?

with my saturation campaign, statisticians have calculated that 71% of /b/ users have already FINALLY LEARNED THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FETISHES™

so at this point, its like an umbrella vaccination program.

when my kids were young, they got their first vaccinations, the ones that are single inoculations, one at a time...

but I've studied internal medicine my entire life ever since I experienced anaphylaxis at the age of 13.. and although I cannot say I waste my decision on knowledge, I indeed based to my decision on LACK OF PROOF that giving a small child a multiple warhead bombardment of several vaccines simultaneously isn't contraindicated..

So when Dr Seuss (Yes lol Believe it or not Jets pediatrician was named Dr Seuss I swear to fucking God but it was spelled SOOS) asked me if we were ready to do the multiple warhead vaccination, we had a long in-depth conversation on the topic and when he understood my concerns, he said they were very valid, and he understood it's because I loved my kids, So he explained UMBRELLA TREATMENTS... If 70% are inoculated, the other 30% are protected

And at this point...
every one of you motherfuckers knows the truth about feet faggots

And please never forget where you learned this fact.. always envision my smiling ugly ass old wrinkled face when you think about it

I realize from an external perspective how far fetched and Looney all of this shit always sounds....

I mean I'm fully capable of self-awareness and external perspective of course...


( I'm the LSD head, not a meth head remember? lol )

But yes I swear on my mother's ashes it's true...

JET NEPTUNE'S PEDIATRICIAN WAS ACTUALLY NAMED DR SEUSS

.......... Google it

He's a brilliant motherfucker
super likable guy
and an excellent fucking pediatrician
One of the best


He's Croatian

.............. It's spelled SOOS

I've actually had people tell me my entire life:

"dude all of this shit sounds like some kind of crazy movie or book you should write a book about your life"

And I would always say WHY?! it's nothing special. I've never really accomplished anything.

But then I realized they're talking about all of COMICAL LOONEY TUNE weird coincidental wacko extreme shit....

lol

And yes okay.. I realize everything sounds like it's some kind of balloon being stretched and twisted into an animal and backyard birthday party...

But I think the reason everything has that coincidental shit was because LIKE ENERGY

I think maybe it's because ever since I decided to take that cartoon characters name that I developed and start using it as an art pseudonym, And everybody started calling me that name at the age of 12, And from the age of 12 forward even my mother started calling me Johnny Neptune. and with each passing day I heard my birth name less and less, and soon ONLY THE POLICE called me by my birth name... And by the time I was an adult I kind of almost guess maybe HAD LITERALLY BECOME THE CHARACTER

In a way.. I mean, it's a very abnormal template to apply on any human psychology

And I guess in a way maybe by the time I was 16 I was fucking women who's day 'damn Neptune GO! " while I was fucking them...

And I guess my brain started to perceive me as being that name... which had a certain alter ego personality associated with it as well....

And I honestly think
The way the universe works
is by creating that bizarre situation
similar energy revolved around me

understand?
I think it actually created its own chaos

I guess in a weird way I'm a victim of the chaos that I created for myself?

This wasn't my plan... I was simply about to sign my name on a piece of really good artwork at the age of 12 when I had a creative idea

(Yes another creative idea)

"what if I signed it Johnny Neptune? I really like the way that name rolls off your tongue. let's see what they think about it if"

That's all...

I didn't realize I was going to become a cynical experiment wise ass walking talking piece of shit

so yeah... the name just popped in my head when I was drawing a cartoon about a secret agent who 'went undercover' as a famous superstar...

like a ping pong ball - the syllables
ping pong

John - ny - nep - tune - ping pong

I knew it was gold when my GENIUS MOTHERFUCKING GENIUS brother told me "dude there's something about the way that name bounces off my mind"

And not surprisingly...
ever since I started using it even from the beginning when I introduced myself to people as that name they always said the same thing:

" oh I've heard of you before "

............... no they didn't
nope
the brain THINKS it heard the name before....

P I N G - PING - P O N G - PONG

............understand?
And I'm not exaggerating:
EVERYBODY told me,:
"I've heard about you before"

EVERYONE

It's a testament to the quality of my work... because I developed a magic chain of syllables

lol

PING PING PONG PONG

And I think that's exactly why all the crazy shit always happened to me

I think the universe just threw a lot of weird opportunities at that series of syllables the ping pong noise

*plop*

and after researching reality with My professor (LSD) I quickly learned that the universe sends echoes of events that have yet to occur...

But you have to know how to extend your antenna to intercept them

And if that sounds like mental illness to you, then you've never taken LSD before because there are millions of interdimensional universes happening within you and without you at this very moment. quantum shit

So that's what I'm trying to say...

based upon my experiment
have concluded that calling yourself JOHNNY NEPTUNE tells the universe to send bizarre ping pong events into your life

LIKE HAVING DR SEUSS BE YOUR SON'S PEDIATRICIAN

see? see what I'm saying?

This is an ego speak
This isn't narcissism
I'm actually trying to explain the results of my experimentation

feel free to find anyone else's research into this area...

THE UNIVERSE SENT ME DR SEUSS

OF COURSE..

would you have expected anything less of the universe?

*fffffffffrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttt*

>>939565573

*to the tune of the Alka-Seltzer plop plop fizz fizz song*

plop plop this this threads whatever I say it is

AND FORTUNATELY FOR YOU GUYS... I SAY THIS THREADS ABOUT FEET

to be continued

because I was just a kid... Who wanted a cup Coca-Cola on ice just like my friends. we were at the pool, and I wasn't even looking when that 2 l glass bottle of Coca-Cola accidentally got knocked off of the table and landed DIRECTLY ON MY TOENAIL OF MY BIG TOE...

AND LITERALLY PULVERIZED THE BONE IN MY TOE

because I was just a kid... Who wanted a cup Coca-Cola on ice just like my friends. we were at the pool, and I wasn't even looking when that 2 l glass bottle of Coca-Cola accidentally got knocked off of the table and landed DIRECTLY ON MY TOENAIL OF MY BIG TOE...

AND LITERALLY PULVERIZED THE BONE IN MY TOE

and pulverized is a medical term. I'm not using Wiley Coyote roadrunner lingo

it ... PULVERIZED THE BONE

of course it did.....

PING PING PONG PONG

I give and I give...

then I even a little bit more afterwards

asking nothing in return.......................

And this decision crucified me

..................but I keep on giving

I do it all for you

WHY I ACTUALLY LOVE THE LOGFAG

......................okay I went there
I'm actually not an asshole at all
unless you give me a reason

I'm actually a passive loving sweetheart who loves to LAUGH

(by the way Elvis Presley had THE best laugh. You should listen out for it next time)

dude.... I don't just "like" Logfag
I fucking LOVE him
I'm prone to love things that most people like

I love Andy Kaufman and I fucking absolutely love Elvis and I love cats like you don't have any idea how much I fucking love cats and love all animals

see? So much love going on

I look music and laughter and springtime weather and more than anything... More than perhaps anything at all:

I LOVE PISSING OTHER PEOPLE OFF

because humans deserve it

because Andy Kaufman was a master of keeping the audience guessing

quite literally turning the tables on the from the stage

suddenly he was the audience
watching the show
The confusion show
The I still haven't figured this out show

And that's the primary reason I have so much respect for the log fag concept

you've really got to respect anyone who develops their own chaos machine

logfag ROCKS

And now that you understand the journey I have taken to become undoubtedly THE MOST ENTHUSIASTIC Logfag Fan...

then you'll understand why there is no election process necessary for me to become the president of the fan club

I mean duh I was born to be the president of his fan club

And in case anybody's wondering

.......... here comes the best part

I LITERALLY DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF THE LOGFAG HATES MY GUTS...

because that would actually be a compliment to me

It would mean he respected my work as well

because I'm really really really talented at making people not like me

and in fact, if the logfag looked down his nose at me and thought I was a completely worthless piece of garbage... I can live with that. lol

I'm really really comfortable in that role. obviously. I'm completely comfortable in that skin.

And it doesn't change the way I perceive him at all

And that lack of guaranteed reciprocity is yet another reason why I qualified to be the president of the official fan club long before he was ever born

>>939564228
>Amiga
What does that have to do with anything? I mean, yes, I still have mine and use it regularly because it's based, but what does that have to do with saving /b/?

how do I feel about 'groups' of disruptors?

........... mixed feelings
I inadvertently started a little group of my own with a buddy who called himself H1TLER (with a 1) So I'm doing familiar with the subject

mixed feelings.....

probably the same way Elvis would have felt about Elvis impersonators

I'm sure he didn't hate them
But in all honesty
I've never seen anybody accomplish anything by being a follower

HOWEVER:
I'm willing to overlook a few idiosyncrasies and personality flaws

>>939566213

I suppose you didn't understand my meaning...

obviously those were different times

It gives me a frame of reference

............ and as different as we are, it's an interesting coincidental similarity

these days If I mention Amiga nobody really responds except you did

So I was like "oh wow that's an interesting coincidence because I didn't realize you remember life from back then"

And then there's just the simple human tendency to bond when you see somebody who shared something you consider to be a very fond memory

a symbol of a better time quite honestly as far as I'm concerned

>>939564113 (OP)
Yummy

and quite honestly if I was pitching the log fag project to adult swim, I would include something about having a mysterious question as to exactly how many people are participating in this thing... because that actually makes it more alluring somehow

>>939566244
Nobody accomplished anything by being a follower, but nobody accomplished anything without being followed either. That's why I'm grateful for each and every one of my humble TRILLIONS of followers.
>>939566271
All my bots are programmed in BASIC. :)
>>939566292
It's all me, all the time. Except when I'm out, on vacation, sick or otherwise not able to work, obviously. I can't literally be posting all the time. That'd be crazy. I have my secretary fill in for me on occasion.

dude I will never forget the conversation I was having with H1TLER a couple years after we started CLONER NATION

He was talking about some other disruptor I had never seen before, and he said in passing, "yeah he's a TROLL Just like you"....

............ And honestly? I had never heard the word trolled used in this mean before. That's the first time I ever saw the internet troll man being used in my life and I said " troll?"

and he explained it and I was like " dude I'm not a troll I don't like that word and that's not what I do"

because I'm not a troll
sure I love watching people react but I'm not a drone not biting technical definition

and neither are you. That's not trolling. This isn't trolling

It's actually a form of art, but most people don't understand it

The only reason I ever used the word TROLL was when I decided to finally wrap up the Johnny Neptune secret agent Rockstar cartoon thing 50 years later, and I decided maybe the name Johnny Neptune isn't the direction I should go

maybe I had become the cartoon character, It was already used and worn out and it was time to come up with a better idea

see we didn't have the internet 50 years ago, so the name LOLvis wouldn't have had any meaning to me back then

when the universe sent me the name LOLvis, of course the first thing my mind thought of was THE KING OF ROCKIN' TROLLS

and although it's not accurate, the PING PONG value outweighed the technicalities

But other than that, I would never call myself a troll in a million years

And you're certainly not a troll either...

That's not what you're doing
at least not in my opinion
sure people react... duhhh

You better honestly isn't every single post a reaction to another post? unless somebody begins walls of endless stream of consciousness disruption, it's all a reaction to somebody else's reaction which was a reaction to the other reaction

But yeah I see you as an ARTIST™

not a troll

You're one of the only true ARTISTS© in here

>>939566331

well quite honestly I assume every hot funny cool woman is actually a fat hairy dude named Luigi with a dial-up connection

That's the only safe way to approach this shit, to prevent ever having to say "I should have known better"

and using that same mathematical formula, I've always started with the fundamental assumption that you're probably just one guy.. And all the other possibilities that are considerable are tributaries from that one fundamental assumption

That's exactly why I said
If I was in a one-off sit down with adult swim I would definitely mention that's part of what makes it funnier

The question marks...

Not the exclamation points.....

>>939566437

Jesus fucking Christ speech to text really performed a botched surgery on that one

oh well

This is acceptable in my opinion

I'm lazy

it's what they DONT get that makes it brilliant

if they 'got it', the humor would vanish

FACT: not sure if you're aware of this but

I could talk you into a 13 week syndication contract with time warner, with options

but I am aware that's not what you're interested in

and I TOTALLY TOTALLY respect that

I'm kinda the same way

>>939566516
ahhh the cops scratched his face

I absolutely respect the fuck outta that

you're good
you're actually in full swing

that's another reason I love you

not in a sexual way sense
but in a respect sense

>>939566555
>time warner
Ok midwest signature faggot. Fuck off back to your discord group.

>>939564228
>shane
Srill trying this hard huh?

ppl think I have delusions of grandeur

lol I'm Fully and PAINFULLY aware of the things I can't do...

and I am terrible at 99% of life

however:
I am SO good at the 1%
maybe one of the best at that tiny little 1%

that it's the basis of my self confidence that I could dress right and face to face with ADULT SWIM and take 25% of your signing bonus

and to be even more honest?.....
I promise you've never met a more capable and enthusiastic pitchman

I guess what I'm trying to say is
EVEN YOU CANT SELL YOU AS GOOD AS I CAN SELL YOU, sir

I haven't even demonstrated the particular skill I'm talking about in here

why would I?
there are no corporate licensing or marketing team members sitting in on this meeting

and there usually ARE when you're in one of those meetings, trust me

>>939566555
You're not gonna believe this... I'm already working with Time Warner (now known as Warner Bros. Discovery). Where do you think I get all the cash to pay for this shit? NEET status isn't nearly enough to cover an operation this big.

>>939566615

well, when I said time warner™

it was kind of a metaphor, kind not
because they were buying out all the entertainment divisions, at least for a while

and I'm in Atlanta, and used to fuck 2 different women who worked for Ted Turner so I always knew who and where @ WTCG / WTBS / SUPERSTATION / TUNER BROADCASTING / CARTOON NETWORK

so when I said time warner I was aware of the subsequent competitors for time warner

so maybe you have a tendency to be distracted by superfluous trivialities, and it prevents you from focusing on WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON

which is ....

if a loser like me could SELL ME to Warner Bros Recording Division (a distribution network) and Lone Wolf Records ...

an ugly creepy 'Midwest signature faggot' who never even made it to the 9th grade ...

then obviously I can sell Logfag
because unlike me, HES MARKETABLE

not sure how many times Graceland OFFERED YOU A JOB AS ART DIRECTOR and paid to fly you in and let you sit ...

sit.....

IN THE WAR ROOM. ...
yep they call it the war room
it's where they tried to prevent Lisa Marie from marrying MJ....

and sitting at the insanely long and expensive on long octagonal oak table... PITCHED THE JOB TO ME™

I did NOT put h 'me' to them...
they asked me to come

but perhaps you have more experience in this type of thing

maybe this old Midwest signature faggot isn't the right one

>>939566638

SHANE®

don't know him
only recently learned his name

I asked 'whats this guy's name, because I LIKE HIM A LOT and obviously he knows my name, so I want to know his"

why do I like him?

.........because IM REALLY GOOD AT THIS

>>939566682

you have the right to be WRONG

......... and today
you're exercising that right
because
YOU ARE WRONG, SIR ....

I believe it completely

why would I believe it?

like I said
I RELATE TO YOU

>>939566805

OBLONG* octagonal oak table

>>939566868
fuck speech to text

I said you're wrong I believe you why WOULDN'T* I believe you

yeah I worked with Jerry heiden who was a creative director back in the day she was pretty cool and very professional

lol @ the raves my wife & I would always hear raver kids saying "yo, back in the day man"

and my wife would always interrupt them and ask "back in what day? TUESDAY?"

and she was younger than them

God I loved her SOOOOO much

>>939566967
I had two wives. I left the first because I was bored. The second left me. No idea where she is now.

Anji was my ACE OF SPADES

https://youtu.be/QeVlHtgmQUE?si=ygI-N4r_E951768K

fo' reeah-doe

>>939567066
yep nothing is permanent and those who try to force their template on to reality always end up frustrated

HOW I GOT HER™

I told her

I can make sure you're safe...........
I can't guarantee your happiness

that part is up to you

>>939567066
You know I've tried to arrange away that I could actually and hear your voice and let you hear mine. I've tried to set it up where you felt comfortable and you didn't have any way of being traced because I don't give a fuck about tracing you
I'd actually be extremely interested in learning more about you because it makes you that much interesting to me

The more I learn the more I relate

and I'm not exaggerating when I say these days... meeting people that I relate to or even vaguely respect is very fucking rare

You know how I feel about humans

people don't realize theyre auditioning every day... You passed the audition a long time ago lol

And I'm going to be totally 100 here okay? I'm pretty damn sure I rub you the wrong way. And I don't require you to like me. That's not my goal. But that doesn't mean I can't be kind of fascinated by you.

understand?

And quite honestly I hadn't been to this shithole for years because I was very busy with quitting drugs and shit... But when I stumbled my lazy old ass back in here I saw you and I didn't 'get it' yet....lol
I still didn't get it. And of course.. of course I thought I hated you

of course that's the whole shit. People not liking you. I get it

You probably remember me explaining the psychology of anal retentive disorder.. I actually thought you were a scatologist I didn't get the joke yet

there I was claiming how people end up with fecal fixations, the entire time not realizing I was talking to a fucking master

And that's coming from a master...

but in life, I've discovered most of my best friends and I HATED EACH OTHER immediately upon meeting... like Michael (Cap'n America) spelled like Capn Crunch

the genius ugly dwarf goat boy best friend who fucked over 500 women

the most self confident, magnetic, interesting, BRILLIANT BRILLIANT pussy getting UGLY GOAT BOY ever

we hated each other on fist look
I hated him more, though

lol boy was I ever wrong

by the way I suppose a better answer to your Amiga question would be that the Amiga makes me realize you've probably got some really cool stories to tell. I realize you're a private person, but the Amiga thing indicates you've probably got some really fucking funny cool stories about shit from the past

And if that's not supposed to seem appealing to an intelligent person... then maybe I'm an idiot

because I know a lot of these gamers irl And I'm not diminishing the value of their life's experience.... I'm simply saying it's kind of easy to quantify when there's so few years and so much of it is spent in the gaming chair.. understand? And that's also just another metaphor...

when I say gaming chair I'm just painting with words

People always focus on the minutia and miss the punchline

they can insist It's just a computer chair, while they prove the comical essence of what I'm saying

their generation makes it hard to find anyone who would understand a craft services reference.... which I believe you call crap services at your backstage events...

or any other arcane reference that's still very much relevant in my mother fucking opinion

because it's the vast volume of one's knowledge begins with the Teletubbies I'm worried about The next generation to come after this one. If this generation thinks jacking off with other guys online constitutes heterosexuality, I'm not sure there's going to be very much reproduction happening...

any children unfortunate enough to be inadvertently conceived during a cosplay convention between a fat hideous introverted mentally ill pig and her needlessly emotional gender confused male counterpart certainly don't stand a chance

>>939564113 (OP)
ur a person anon

u are not a toilet

c:

And I'm not talking about recording a call or anything because I have no surreptitious strategies whatsoever regarding this.

I was just think it would be kind of legendary in a weird way.. call me a narcissist but I kind of see both of us as somewhat legends in our own time

I'm being tongue in cheek

But I'm also being quite serious. And you know exactly what I'm talking about sir

In our own little microcosm it's hard to find somebody Like either one of us motherfuckers... luckily for the world

And if we ever talked on a totally untraceable line, just so I could hear your fucking voice and you could hear mine and that way you actually kind of connect

see what I'm saying dude?

You are the Amiga guy so you definitely understand what I'm saying

when you're talking on the phone, it's like my speech to text in here. You can say so much in such a short amount of time... It would take 50 texts to say the same thing you or I could say during a phone call

But even more importantly
remember the good old days?
And I'm not talking about Tuesday

The good old days when people would actually speak to each other on the mother fucking phone? well I still believe in that shit

And I thought it would be kind of historic and legendary for the log bag and asshole Neptune to actually speak to each other because I'd like to tip my hat in respect to you, sir but I want you to hear my mother fucking voice when I say it. I don't want you reading my words

I want you to hear my voice tell you that I think you're you're one of the cooler people I've ever seen in

And I don't get a flying fuck if you like me or not

I still want you to hear me say it
WITH NOBODY LISTENING BUT US