Thread 939691439

Yes I know drugs are for losers and I'm a loser for using them for as long as I did and should just off myself as Im a waste blah blah blah.

Been in recovery and 6 months completely sober. Shit is so lonely out here and sometimes I wonder if there really is light at the end of this and if recovery and sobriety is even possible for me or if I was just destined to be an addict for life. Despite those thoughts I will continue to go through life now sober off everything minus a few things like d3, tea, and xanax for panic attacks that would have left me dead otherwise.

Anywho, wondering if any other anons struggle with alcoholism or addiction and how yall holding up. Any plans to get better? How long have you been clean or sober? What is the best advice you learned or way of thinking that changed things for you? Any rituals you developed to replace bad habits?

For me, it's starting every morning with a nice pot of some Jap green tea with those ridiculously small clay cups and reflection on the gratitude of my life and that I'm still here.

>>939691439 (OP)
go and overdose then stupid tranny

i was prescribed narcotics for many years to address extreme medical issues
when kung flu happened my doctors basically retired abruptly and i had to wean off what i had
spent a long time getting physically stronger to try and offset the nerve pain and doing well after a few years
Took many years to finally enjoy normal shit again, the opiate high made everything else worthless
never going to take that shit again unless an oldfag dying in hospice.

>>939691439 (OP)
>alcoholism
yes
>ex
no
one day I'll stop, but today I'm swinging by the botteshop to spend $200 on a weeks supply of cheap booze.

>>939691439 (OP)
Find a hobby and start exercising.

Dont wanna hijack thread but i'm an irl sex addict. I never tell anyone because they don't understand it. I think people assume its just fucking hot chicks. But nah.
I'm compelled to do it. I don't even enjoy it. It's like I just have to do it.
Imagine post nut regret but it's happening while you're having sex. And there's no discretion about partners. I mean I won't do real fatties, or super old, or bad hygiene. But most are 4/10.
I hate my life.

I've tried to mask this shit with booze, drugs. Exercise sometimes helps, but I take that to extremes and over train.

>>939691483
Im sorry your life is sad and empty

>>939691580
Fuuuck opiates. Glad i never touched them. Though what I was isnt any better. Glad to hear you're better. Here's to better days.

>>939691581
No shame brother (or sister). Been there and someday miss it. Hope you get a drunk and have a jolly time and not just drink and be a depressed loser like I was towards the end of my stint of booze.

>>939694450
Already do! I absolutely hate exercising but after years of coke abuse i need to take care of my heart any way possible though ill die from it regardless. Even a few years if I can salvage it ill be happy.

>>939695724
I knew a person who was like you. It was a validation thing. For them they had body image issues and confidence issues and stuff of that nature and sex helped erase those insecurities. Didnt matter if they were hot or not as long as they'd sleep with him he'd feel validated to whatever standard he had. It's a weird one but I mean bound to happen and there are worse addictions. He also had a pill addiction and OD'd in my friends room and almost died in the hospital so theres that. Maybe seek help about your insecurities that drive you bang girls all the time. Though sex is fun and sex addiction is real and can leave you with some real serious stds and ruin mentally any chance at a real relationship.

>>939696128
Based post. Good advices

>>939696128
my life is a million times better than yours lil bro

>>939691439 (OP)
You're not a loser at all.

Drugs are great fun. If they weren't, they wouldn't be addictive.

The trick I found is that you need to stay in control. If you can't manage that, don't use them. Some people are lucky enough to be able to use them in moderation. It's all about staying in control.

Congrats on 6 months clean. I'm proud of you. You're past the worst of it now and it will only get easier. Keep at it, one day at a time. If you're still finding it difficult, then you should find something constructive to fill that void. Learn an instrument or start a new hobby or something. But trust me, it will get easier :)

>>939696968
Post body. I triple dog dare you.

>>939697472
Thank you for the reply! You are right, they are fun and need to be respected. Unfortunately, they stopped being used to enhance experiences and became used to escape my problems which led to me using them in isolation. You are right though, the worst is over and though im left trying to fill a hole where my addict behaviors and schedule use to be I am slowly figuring out how to live as a Sober Andy again and kinda sorta enjoying it.

>>939697851

> I am slowly figuring out how to live as a Sober Andy again and kinda sorta enjoying it.

Yeah that's the thing that gets easier. You learn a new sober "normal" state and yeah, exactly, you enjoy it.

You sound like you have it pretty much figured out. They can't solve problems, only enhance good times - when used in moderation.

Frankly I don't think you need me lecturing you, you sound like you pretty much have it all figured out, really. Just go find something constructive that you love to do that will fill that hole.

And if you ever slip up, don't be too hard on yourself. It gets easier each time.

>>939698146
Thanks again for the kindness Anon. Your words and support I will use to make it through tomorrow as we take it day by day around here. I personally think when I made the decision of actually wanting to quit and not just wait till next time I get to get high helped me a lot if that makes sense. Like I moved away from where I had access and would sober for months but second I returned would buy drugs right away. Now iv grown to hate them and never want to be high on them again regardless of access. Probably because I finally for the first time in my life I have a dream/goal I want to work towards. In life you need to know what you want and what you are willing to give up to get it. For me, in order to achieve what i want out of life there is no room for booze and drugs. I will always have my 20s to look at them through rose colored glasses but realistically i was miserable being an alcoholic then a complete addict. Have a lot of stories at least!

>>939698483

Haha, yeah good stories are important. awesome. I'm really glad that my words have helped you :)

Yes that absolutely makes sense, and yes, you 100% have it all sorted out. You absolutely don't need me. Just look after yourself be strong and go out and be awesome. make that goal that you want to work towards a reality. You've already achieved one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Making your dream come true will be easy by comparison.

You're exactly right - wanting to quit and get yourself under control is absolutely the crucial step. I think it's a pretty well-known thing that you can't help an addict unless they want to be helped. The same goes for mental illness. You can't force treatment of either of these things on somebody, you can only try to point them in the right direction and help them when they're ready to be helped, and they have to come to that to themselves and really want it. Once that happens, in my experience, the actual quitting part wasn't really all that difficult.

<3

>>939698483
Youre not a loser. Youre not weak. You are strong for being able to overcome your addiction. Its really hard.

I know a lot of people who still use. Theyre all dead. Im still alive because I quit.

>>939698762
So much to unpack here. As someone who has had for life crippling anxiety and deep depression your points on how mental illness is like addiction is spot on. All 3 of them want to do 1 thing and that is to isolate you, tho for different reasons. Anxiety so it can keep you stagnate and resist change, depression so it can keep you wallowing in isolation and self pity and makes doing nothing normalized. Paired with drugs like weed it's a match made in hell for those who want to do anything and in my case isolated me from conversation and events because i didnt have the energy due to depression so alone i was. And addiction, well, it wants you alone so you are forced to keep using. Take that bump so you can feel better then get sober and deal with your problems later. Funny how that never works.

Realizing all 3 are very ingrained in my life and have been for most of it was a huge breakthrough as I know now why i acted as I did or why I fell into addiction or why I feel so lonely and isolated despite having friends and family. I pity my next therapist who has to help me unravel all this but with that and support groups I feel I have all the knowledge and tools to make it. The hard part are the intrusive thoughts that I'll just fail and maybe all this is for nothing and I will die to it anyways despite my efforts. That's probably all 3 anxiety of change, depression, and addiction not wanting to be left behind causing them and just got to find ways to tune them out.

I will say the 3 years of ketamine were the only 3 years i didn't have the weight of depression on my shoulders. Even if I never feel that again thats 3 years I'll always have to remember and another goal to search for a healthy way to get this weight off my shoulders

>>939698915
Thank you for this. This is 4chan, if you smoke pot youre a loser. I dont make the rules, just what it is.

On a serious note I'm sorry about those you lost. I have lost many on my side also. Here to both of us surviving and at least for me I live now sober for them and carry their stories and names around with me to share with those who will never know the joy they were before addiction stole them away.

>>939691439 (OP)
You're not a loser if youre trying to get better

Porn and masturbation addict here. I WISH I could go back to being able to watch TV and movies at home without having to stop and spend 2 hours edging to porn.

>>939699367
For me right now there is no trying. There only is. I have to treat this in absolutes for the time being as if I dont treat it as life or death my brain will trick me to relapse again and tbh idk how many more day 1s I have left in me at this point.

>>939699278
>This is 4chan, if you smoke pot youre a loser

...says hypocrites who go out binge drinking every weekend. Weed is ten thousand times better and far far far less harmful than alcohol. Don't listen to the judgement of anybody except the people you care about.

>>939699429
Recently found out one of my very close friends is a porn addict. Just something I won't ever understand but people probably say the same thing about willing shoving powdered horse tranquilizers up my nose and ass. I didn't ask too many questions as I could tell he was uncomfortable telling me and I can imagine why. You're not alone though, if anything it's a growing addiction meaning there will be more resources and help if you ever decide you want help.

>>939699474
Fwiw they are both bad and have lasting health effects and hellish withdrawals. I have been through both and honestly weed was worse only because ketamine killed the alcoholic in me so when I gave up drinking for good I was only drinking to blackout like once a month. I have no experience quitting booze as a hardcore daily user but know it can kill a motherfucker.

My point being both are bad and moderation is key. The whole high horse because you use one or the other is stupid. Just pick your poison and ride it till you can't then get sober and join us sober andys wherever we are hanging out that day.

>>939699617

Indeed. I was merely pointing out the hypocrisy.

>>939699706
My apologies I sounded defensive or hostile with that reply. I was in a way trying to agree with you also.