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Thread 940045334

32 posts 46 images /b/
Anonymous No.940045334 [Report] >>940045571 >>940045604 >>940045628 >>940045649 >>940045874 >>940045932 >>940047468 >>940049380 >>940049548
I'm going to shoot myself
Anonymous No.940045571 [Report]
>>940045334 (OP)
Anonymous No.940045604 [Report] >>940045625
>>940045334 (OP)

well it appears I have lung cancer

on top of the heart thing they found a spot on my lung that they want to biopsy next week
Anonymous No.940045625 [Report] >>940045700 >>940045756
>>940045604
Brone lung
Anonymous No.940045628 [Report]
>>940045334 (OP)
Show me your butthole
Anonymous No.940045649 [Report]
>>940045334 (OP)

But the funniest part is I'm not even scared. I'm literally not scared at all

And in fact I'm in a really really good mood as always
Anonymous No.940045700 [Report]
>>940045625

It might not be lung cancer. It might be, but it might not be. either way I'm not going to let it make me become depressed

I'm never depressed I'm always in a really good mood

Even when I'm being a complete asshole in here
That's the sign that I'm in a really good mood believe it or not lol I'm not joking


I just enjoy being brutally honest with people
Anonymous No.940045756 [Report]
>>940045625

But just for the record... If I got run over by a milk truck tomorrow morning when I'm headed back home

I'd like you to know how much I respected you

I would be remiss if I failed to mention
I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU

Not joking at all I really proud of what you've done
Anonymous No.940045841 [Report]
I'm definitely your biggest fucking fan absolutely

absolutely I am unequivocally your biggest and probably most devoted fan

AND I COULDN'T CARE LESS HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME

I don't care if you hate my guts
That doesn't have anything to do with me being your biggest fan
Anonymous No.940045874 [Report]
>>940045334 (OP)
Fuck off
Anonymous No.940045932 [Report]
>>940045334 (OP)
LOL OKAY! BYE BYE LOGFAG!! AAAA BEST DAY ON /B/. Your death will be celebrated I hope you know that.
Anonymous No.940045971 [Report]
This would probably be a good time for me to get something off my chest:

You could bet, oh, dollars to doughnuts that the harebrained scheme was never going to work. But it did involve doughnuts and, had it been successful, it would have netted its mastermind at least $1,000.

The caper, which has to be one of the most half-witted extortion efforts ever concocted in these parts, involved a homeless man known as “Johnny Neptune.”

His real name is Andrew Lawrence McGovern.

He was jailed earlier this week for allegedly trying to bilk a local Dunkin’ Donuts proprietor out of $1,000.

L M M F G D A O
bulletproof jn
Anonymous No.940046041 [Report] >>940046163 >>940046301
he spelled shit wrong ya mongoloids
Anonymous No.940046163 [Report] >>940046200
>>940046041

no he didn't.........

nope

But the bullets are made of feces so I suppose it's negligible either way

His real name is Andrew Lawrence McGovern.

He was jailed earlier this week for allegedly trying to bilk a local Dunkin’ Donuts proprietor out of $1,000.

Authorities say McGovern was threatening to sue the doughnut man and two of his employees for $250,000 if the shop owner didn’t fork over a grand in real dough.

What’s more, the reason behind it all was a cracked cellphone. Or so McGovern claimed.

McGovern, 53, has been locked up at the Bibb County jail 11 times for charges that include harassing communications, trespassing and contempt of court, records show. He filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in 1996 and appears to have lived in Macon most of his life.

On Monday, a Bibb sheriff’s deputy was dispatched to the Dunkin’ Donuts on Forsyth Street near the hospital in downtown Macon.

There, Krishna Patel told the deputy that McGovern had been “harassing his employees and his business” at another Dunkin’ location on Tom Hill Sr. Boulevard since March 6, a sheriff’s report said.

McGovern’s outlandish claims revolved around him supposedly leaving a cellphone at that establishment, where, according to him, its screen was busted.

Patel, 41, told the deputy that McGovern had stalked him and “slandered his race,” and also enlisted a lawyer to sue Patel about the phone.
Anonymous No.940046200 [Report] >>940046352
>>940046163
>the bullets are made of feces
great name for a grindcore band
Anonymous No.940046301 [Report]
>>940046041


AGAIN:

the tipping point was when I texted Mr Patel and told him "with all of the chromosomal DNA damage caused by brushing your teeth and bathing in the Ganges as corpses float past you... It's really no wonder you scumbags paint little red targets between your eyes"
Anonymous No.940046352 [Report]
>>940046200

I still think
STEREOCHEMISTRY™
might be the greatest name ever for any musical project

stereochemistry is the science of reverse isomers

mirrored molecular structures
Anonymous No.940046414 [Report]
was it worth going to jail over?


APPARENTLY YES..... LOL
You never see me complaining about it, do you?

In fact, it worked out really well for me
Anonymous No.940046439 [Report]
Anonymous No.940046490 [Report]
in fact, I LITERALLY LOVE TALKING ABOUT IT

That's what these idiots in here can't figure out
they actually think I'm going to become embarrassed or something

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Anonymous No.940046569 [Report]
how can you embarrass somebody who literally LOVES talking about his stupid mistakes and anything that involves self-promotion?

Colonel Tom said it best when Gladys Presley told him the negative news stories about her son were breaking her heart:

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS NEGATIVE PUBLICITY AS LONG AS THEY SPELL THE NAME RIGHT"
Anonymous No.940046641 [Report]
https://youtu.be/4dPRGfGmCmU?si=OvmUdYczY-I8ZeMM
Anonymous No.940046756 [Report] >>940046947
I've been telling you I was a genius since I was 17 and with all the feces I've eaten I still don't know Why some of it was green

The weekend at the college didn't turn out how you planned

You never planned to have somebody take a shit down your throat

ARE YOU REELING IN THE YEARS?
STOWING AWAY THE LOGS
Anonymous No.940046913 [Report]
actually it's not surprising so many women jump to my bones. really

I never used to consider myself to be even vaguely attractive

But I suppose looking back....
I can see why they wanted to fuck me

definitely
Anonymous No.940046947 [Report]
>>940046756

It's because those sections simply didn't fully digest that's all

poop is always green in the middle of the process
Anonymous No.940047004 [Report] >>940047515
RELEASE THE LOGSTEAM FILES
Anonymous No.940047156 [Report]
The best part about going home tomorrow?

FINALLY GETTING TO WEAR MY KALT™JUMPSUIT AGAIN
Anonymous No.940047245 [Report]
WALKING JED says:
Monday is the first day of fall and I'm ready for the jumpsuit weather
Anonymous No.940047468 [Report]
>>940045334 (OP)
holy fucking shit!!!! this is the greatest news i've heard on /b/ in a while, you better fucking pull through my guy!
Anonymous No.940047515 [Report]
>>940047004
what do you mean?

i was on the brink of giving up a while back. i had no will to live and felt like there was no reason to keep going on.

but then i thought about the people i love, and how they would feel if i just died
Anonymous No.940049380 [Report]
>>940045334 (OP)
shoot
Anonymous No.940049548 [Report]
>>940045334 (OP)
Nigger.
Way to prove there isn't anyone but retards talking to themselves on here.