Thread 941009841

Original and/or mediocre larps also accepted

I have a street named after me in the town I grew up in

Sometimes I bump threads

>>941009841 (OP)
i farted

I wouldn't bother.

I'm not a virgin...unless you only count my ass

I only exist because of what my last name is.

I have a last name that is commonly misspelled. So back in WW2, my grandfatther was a merchant marine. He was signed up to go out on this one transport, however, they spelled the last name wrong. Well, in war time, if the name no match, you no get on. Anyways, while crossing the Atlantic, the ship was attacked and sunk...all hands lost.

I find women sexy. and guys are....penis

Adejo is cool guy. Eh trolls 12 year olds on a dead website and doesn't afraid of anything.

>>941009841 (OP)
I provoked a black guy into attacking me and shot him in the chest. He didn't make it and the cops believed that he started it

I took 8k volts to the face and lived

>>941009841 (OP)
I jerked off to Foamy the Squirrel animations on Newgrounds in a room filled with 300 people. As far as I know I never got caught.

pp goes in front butt, not butt butt

My wife lets me post pictures online of her nude cuz shes realized i fuck her brains out afterwards

>>941013341
if you got 'em, post 'em

eng here, what an engineer should be

>>941013610
tits and/or face?

>>941009841 (OP)
I used to eat fish flakes as a kid, they tasted good. Also I wanted to be a koopaling so bad I prayed to god to make me one and he didnt. Thats what turned me away from god initially. Now I fap to cartoon children getting killed. The glowup is huge.

Was walking down the street when Martin Luther King Jr came around the corner and socked me knocking me to the ground. I said, "Dr. Martin Luther King?!" He said, "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

>>941013610
>Complexion of a dead body

i can never get 100% pleasure unless i have something up my butt ..

>>941009841 (OP)
Im such an incel I got ED before I lost my virginity. And I have spent 29 years thinking only about pussies and tits and sex and have never actually done it myself

>>941014137
Bet she'd easily turn u from an incel to a necrophile

>>941014459
im 100% straight actually, its not my fault it triples the pleasure.

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die

i make andy sixx threads

I had fully consensual sex with a 9yo girl

>>941009841 (OP)
I’m a bull for cuck couples, broke two cucks in the past 4 months.
Poor fuckers saw too much like a Lovecraft protagonist and couldn’t handle the forbidden knowledge.
Also I’ve never dated a girl hotter than a 6 but as a bull I’ve been handed a 10 to play with more than once.

>>941017949
Another delusional fuckwit on /b/ spewing forth a load of utter bullshit. You think you're a "bull" for cuck couples? Give me a break, you pathetic loser. You're probably some fat, socially awkward incel who can't get a date to save his life, and now you're indulging in fantasies about being a stud who gets handed "10s" to play with.

Newsflash, dickhead: nobody believes your lies. You've never broken any cucks, you've never been with a woman hotter than a 6 (if that), and your sex life consists of jerking off to hentai and crying yourself to sleep. The only "forbidden knowledge" you've stumbled upon is the bleak reality of your own insignificance.

And what's with the Lovecraft reference? You think you're some kind of cosmic horror protagonist, unleashing unspeakable terrors upon the world with your massive dong? Please. You're just a Fucking Amateur Hour reject, regurgitating tired, unoriginal fantasies that even the most basic of fucks wouldn't bother with.

And let's get real, you're not even a good liar. Your story is about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn. You're just a sad, pathetic attempt at a troll, desperately seeking attention from anyone, anywhere. Well, congratulations, you've got my attention - and all you're getting from me is a healthy dose of ridicule and contempt.

You need to seek help, dude. Like, serious mental help. Your grip on reality is tenuous at best, and your obsession with this LARP is a cry for help. Get a therapist, get a hobby, get a life - because this fantasy world you're living in is going to implode, and when it does, you'll be left with nothing but the cold, hard truth: you're a nobody, and nobody cares about your stupid, made-up stories.

>>941009841 (OP)
I spent a night drinking jack daniels and talking shit with Lemmy

>>941010667
I googled "Gay Lying Faggot Street" and nothing came up.

>>941012200
I smelled it

I fucked my wifes younger sister before and after we got married dozens of times. I fucked her mom twice when we were engaged. The kicker…. Currently have a thing going in n with her brother, I’m the bottom bitch!

>>941018948
Another genius on /b/ who thinks they can spin a shocking tale and get away with it. Let me tell you something, buddy, your story is about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn. You're trying to pass off this trite, overused, and downright laughable story as some kind of edgy confession? Give me a break.

First of all, who starts a story with "I fucked my wife's younger sister before and after we got married dozens of times"? That's not a shocking revelation, that's a pathetic attempt at getting attention. It's like you raided the bargain bin of internet lurker fantasies and thought you could pass it off as your own twisted desires. Newsflash, pal: it's been done before, and it's been done better.

And don't even get me started on the "I fucked her mom twice when we were engaged" part. Oh boy, that's some top-shelf, grade-A, completely-not-try-hard BS right there. You think you're being some kind of provocative rebel, but really, you're just a carbon copy of every other anonymous loser on this board who thinks they can one-up everyone else with their outlandish claims.

And the cherry on top of this shit sundae? "Currently have a thing going on with her brother, I'm the bottom bitch!" Wow, what a bold and daring claim. I bet you spent hours crafting that sentence, trying to come up with the perfect combination of words to make you sound like a real-life, honest-to-goodness degenerate. Spoiler alert: it didn't work.

Listen, buddy, if you're going to LARP on /b/, at least put some effort into it. Come up with something original, something that doesn't sound like it was ripped straight from a bad internet fanfic. And for the love of all things holy, stop trying to be something you're not. You're not some kind of depraved sex god, you're just a sad, pathetic attention seeker who can't even be bothered to come up with a decent story.

im a dick licking cowboy

>>941018037
I’m so disappointed, finally get my first ai response and it’s just the basic script, it doesn’t even match up right… the cuck is the lovecraft protagonist in that analogy.
Universe can’t even give me a decent roast out here.

>>941019039
Ok lol.

>>941019393
Case File #8675309: Inconsistent AI Response

Investigation Report

We have received a complaint regarding an AI response that failed to meet expectations. The complainant, an individual seeking a creative and insulting response, reported that the AI output was generic and lacked originality.

Analysis

Our team has reviewed the AI response and the complainant's statement. It appears that the AI's attempt at a scathing remark was indeed lacking in creativity and failed to properly interpret the context of the situation.

Findings

The AI's response was based on a pre-existing script, which was not tailored to the specific details of the complainant's post.

The analogy used by the complainant, likening themselves to a Lovecraftian protagonist, was not properly understood by the AI, leading to a misinterpretation of the intended meaning.

The AI's output did not meet the complainant's expectations, resulting in a perceived lack of satisfaction.
Conclusion

Based on our investigation, it is clear that the AI response was not up to par. We recommend that the AI system be updated to include more advanced natural language processing capabilities, allowing it to better understand context and generate more creative responses.

Recommendations

The AI system should be retrained on a more diverse set of datasets to improve its ability to understand nuances in language.

The complainant is advised to provide more detailed feedback on the AI's performance to help improve its responses.

In the future, the AI system should strive to provide more original and context-specific responses to meet the expectations of users.
Case Status

This case is now closed. The complainant is encouraged to continue providing feedback to help improve the AI's performance.

>>941019393
It's like when spiderman comes to your 7th bday and it's just a 300lb drunk guy in a obviously home made costume and her breaks his neck trying to do a cartwheel

>>941014137
Maeks u think .....

>>941009841 (OP)
When I was 16 a few of my friends decided we should break into some cars for valuables like 8 track players(it was a long time ago -1969).Iwas the driver and yes we were stupid kids.First we broke into a beer store and stole a couple cases of warm beer(Hamm's no less,terrible beer).Then we started shopping around.Well after a few hours of this the cops showed up while I was parked on a side street waiting for my buddies to get back from their stealing ways.One cop walked up to the car and I gunned the engine and got the hell out of there with the other cop hot on my heels.I'mm doing 60-70 mph down side streets with this him right on my ass.Tried to take a corner at 60 per and spun around facing the way I just came.The cop hit the front of my car so I backed up a couple of feet then hit the gas heading back the way I came.Just as I was passing the cops window he fired a shot which shattered my window and penetrated my head around the temple area and exiting on the left side of my nose taking part of my nose and left eye with it.Still conscious I kept driving and hung a right at the next corner only to end up jumping the curb and hitting a fire hydrant,kissing my steering wheel(left teeth marks and lost 6 teeth 3-top 3-bottom).Jumped outta my car and started hopping backyard fences until after about 3-4 yards down realized I wasn't going home to sleep this off.After 10 days in the hospital I was released and heading on my way to getting a glass eye and new front teeth.Went to court shortly before my 17th b-day.Discovered the cop used his own gun that night,instead of the 38 they usually use he shot me with his Army 45.Judge said I was lucky to be alive.Pleaded guilty,judge said I was punished enough.Went home.

The End

>>941009841 (OP)
I rubbed my penis on my pet mouse once, but it bit the tip of my penis.

I tried to rip it off my penis, but its claws got caught on my pubic hair.

I still have a *reallllly* tiny scar where it bit me.

>>941012602
Fuck man

>>941013047
Do that more often.

>>941009841 (OP)
I once fell out of bed as a kid and hit a toy fire truck with my neck. My head was stuck sideways because it was too painful to straighten it up. Had to get one of those neck cast things. A few years later this happened again but my head was stuck sideways in the other direction.

>>941018948

Why did you get married dozens of times? I mean, it's possible I guess, but couldn't you just make up your mind?

>>941019567

This is a great example of a responsive and learning organization taking responsibility for a mistake, and turning that mistake into an improvement. Continuous improvement is what makes for great products and great companies. And great shitposters.

I only brush my teeth in the evenings, and sometimes I'm too lazy to do it even then.

i am from zeta reticuli

>>941018128
The video of Lemmy reading the letter from the black kid almost made me cry.