Thread 941037073

One jalopy coming up

"weeeeee doggy!"

His sloppy, ploppy jalopies?

"one of these days, I got to have a long talk with that boy

>>941037386
I got time right now. Let's rap crap.

>>941037406
"weeeeeeeeee doggy!"

Braaaap!

>>941037406

https://youtu.be/13iMsGNUHFo?si=5T4w9MhKiOb8LRSJ

when listing all of the people who received the Elvises, I tend to forget about Roland Gift... One of the nicest ones I've ever met, a completely sweet wonderful friendly guy...

and absolutely AMAZING in concert

sounded way better than the album which is almost impossible

The two guitarists are fucking phenomenal, although they don't play any Joe satriani style hammer-on bullshit guitar

they play a clinky chinky '70s funky type of picking instead

which actually requires much more talent

ANDY* COX

guitarist FYC

>>941037073 (OP)

by the way.... no shit.....

If you don't like this song, there's something decidedly wrong with you

If this doesn't touch you somewhere deep inside, You might already be dead. You might want to go to the emergency room and make sure you're still alive...

https://youtu.be/tk6bnmVRbhw?si=gyd0XGgnrRgGiBpS

and YES...........

that's the clinky chinky guitar I was talking about. .

It's actually harder than playing the bullshit heavy metal Joe satriani hammer-on technique bullshit

any 12-year-old kid jumps on the guitar and wants to learn how to play that bullshit fake heavy metal hammer on technique garbage

THIS IS REAL GUITAR PLAYING RIGHT HERE

"and I'm not the man I used to be"

btw I'm not bragging

I can play the FUCK out of a guitar

THE SECRET TO BEING A GOOD MUSICIAN:

knowing when NOT to play

a jigsaw puzzle doesn't work if it's just one piece

PERFECT EXAMPLE:

the water ripple chime of this guitar

knowing when NOT to play

oops

water ripple chime of THIS guitar

Knowing exactly when your part happens, and then shutting the fuck up until your part comes back up again

https://youtu.be/RAPIUWsDK90?si=PH1DfmpwvUAejPTK

most people never learn the secret:

knowing when NOT to play

>>941038287

when SPIN ME ROUND was released, we were getting REAL brown sassafras MDA

not MDMA, but the REAL thing, MDA

methlenedioxyamphetamine

imagine MDMA times 5000

now imagine hearing that song in surround sound on a really badass PA system

with gorgeous women begging you to dance with them

The production on that song is nothing short of a psychedelic calliope

>>941038287
https://youtu.be/oU9F6J1lafY?si=_tG4ZHRebbt2eRxd

Paul rudd is funny as fuck

btw 2 things:

I used to be one of THE best dancers you'd ever see... no shit .. I could dance REALLY WELL

and number two: (excuse the pun)

I GOT SOOOOO MUCH PUSSY by dancing to that song

dancing is a mating ritual in which the man shoves the female how physically he would be in bed

I got SO much pussy by dancing to that song

I noticed when she's asleep and I talk quietly to avoid waking her up that's when speech to text makes the biggest typos

HOW TO DANCE WELL:

dissect the mathematics of the music, and determine THE MISSING INSTRUMENT

yes.. there's an instrument that wasn't put into the song

LET YOUR BODY BECOME THE MISSING INSTRUMENT

including knowing when NOT to play your instrument

that's the secret

no shit.....

I would always always have people walk out onto the dancefloor, tap me on my shoulder, point at a table full of waving friends, and tell me "we all wanted you to know how good 9f a dancer you are!"

no shit

no shit.....

I would always always have people walk out onto the dancefloor, tap me on my shoulder, point at a table full of waving friends, and tell me "we all wanted you to know how good of a dancer you are!"

no shit

the good dancer gets his pick of women

you're showing them how you fuck

SPIN ME ROUND: one of my favorite songs of all times

I got SOOOOO much snatch with that song

it was my showcase performance theme

like ANNIE STARR™

she was so good damn beautiful
absolutely fucking stunning!!!

I have no photos of her, duh

But she looked remarkably similar to a young Belinda Carlisle

This is a very very reasonable facsimile of ANNIE STARR*

OMG she was something else!!
she had a crazy dangerous boyfriend named Jimmy Lee, a native American Indian and totally insane and jealous and violent

and I was FUCKING HER INSIDE OUT

she used to come over to my apartment with fresh baked cookies and give me that snatch all night long

fuck you, Jimmy Lee

keep forgetting to attach images this morning

This is young Belinda Carlisle

Annie Starr's reasonable facsimile

Annie was MUCH hotter

HOW I MET ANNIE STARR™

I was dancing to SPIN ME ROUND by myself

and she walked up wearing a long trench coat

with a coy look on her face
and she wrapped her arms around me

and that was it.....
WE LEFT IMMEDIATELY and I fucked her until long after the sun came up

It was probably 11:00 in the morning when I stopped tapping that shit

TODAYS YOUNG GENERATION DON'T EVEN DANCE.....

weird as fuck

that was THE number one way to get pussy

poor Jimmy Lee

............dude, your girlfriend was in love with me

fuck you, Jimmy Lee
she LOVED how I treated her wrong

I used to see Jimmy Lee there at the bar (THE SAINT was the best fucking nightclub I've ever seen)

and I'd smile at him and say hello

you stupid fucking idiot @ Jimmy Lee

I'd treat her like a sample cup in a sperm bank

like a spittoon

and the next day she'd show up with fresh baked cookies and want to do it all over again

the SAINT was officially a gay bar

but not really

it was an EVERYBODY nightclub
gay, straight, redneck, prostitute, drug dealer, bankers, out of town businessmen, rich, poor, young, old IT WAS INSANE!!!!!!!

an absolute den of iniquity

nothing but sinners
WHOLESALE SIN
wanton abandon ANYTHING GOES
people fucking ON THE DANCEFLOOR it was completely fucking insane.

It's where everybody would go after getting off work at the strip clubs and other nightclubs

It was an 'industry' club, one of only three places with an after hours permit, so it didn't even really get started until at least 4:30 in the morning and the partying went on until 2:00 or 3:00 p.m. the next afternoon

IT WAS SOOOOO MUCH FUN
dangerous and sleazy and EXHILARATING

Never a dull moment moment

It turns out at 4:30 a.m., very few gay people were in there, compared to how many straight people would PACK IT LIKE A SARDINE CAN

all the hot women were there..
it was the place to be

run by Sicilian organized crime

it was crazy

I actually ended up creating a job for myself at the SAINT™

quite literally getting paid to do absolutely nothing

I approached RON ZAPPI, one of the Sicilian owners, and told him "I'm going to work for you now"

Ron was gay
(Believe it or not, the Sicilian crime families from New York would exile all the gay family members to Chicago, because they loved them, but they couldn't operate in New York, so they allowed the gay members of their family to handle AFTER HOURS PERMITS all across America, a very lucrative money laundering operation)

but Ron Zappi was very very cool
"no you're not, kid. we're not hiring anybody"

"I don't think you heard me. I said I AM GOING TO WORK FOR YOU NOW"

Ron looked at me with a weird expression, like "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT?"

" no... you're NOT... I'm not hiring anybody"

Time to close the deal:
" NO. YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND... YOU ARE RON ZAPPI, I AM JOHNNY NEPTUNE, AND THIS IS THE SAINT..... JOHNNY NEPTUNE WORKS FORT RON ZAPPI AT THE SAINT... UNDERSTAND?"

....... pause

" what would you do if you worked here? "

" I WOULD KNOW EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENING IN YOUR BAR, AND THE THINGS YOU NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT, I WOULD TELL YOU IMMEDIATELY, AND THE THINGS YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT, I'LL MAKE SURE NOBODY WASTES YOUR TIME WITH"

" OKAY. YOU'RE HIRED,!! "

So I told Ron, " I know I am... And now I'm going to get a few free drinks at the bar if you don't mind" I walked straight up to the bar and told the bartender ", I work here now. I'll take three Long Island iced teas. thank you"

And I never paid for a goddamn drink there again

100% true.........

So my job was quite literally DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and getting paid for it

nothing changed I was still going there just like a regular customer, after I got off work at the strip club, and I wouldn't even stay there very long

I was still dancing and doing drugs and fucking women in the club and LEAVING WITH WOMEN EARLY

More often than not, I would leave early and tell Ron, "I'm gonna to go split this bitch up the middle and I need to get paid" And he PAID ME FOR LEAVING EARLY AND GETTING LAID

and he paid very well

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/229075943/ronald_francis-zappi

I didn't realize he was only 44 when he died

probably from AIDS
either that or he got whacked for doing something the crime family didn't like I'm not sure how he died but probably from AIDS

That's how I literally created a job working for the Sicilian organized crime family that handled the after hours permits across America

"YOU ARE RON ZAPPI.... I AM JOHNNY NEPTUNE... THIS IS THE SAINT... JOHNNY NEPTUNE WORKS FOR RON ZAPPI AT THE SAINT"

And I lived up to my job requirement

If there was trouble and Ron needed to know immediately I MADE SURE HE KNEW ABOUT IT IMMEDIATELY

And if there was trouble that Ron didn't need to know about I MADE SURE NOBODY BOTHERED HIM WITH IT

that was it....

a nosey monitor who watched everybody and everything, looking for people pulling out guns law enforcement issues anything that could cause the family a problem

while I got high and fucked women right there in the club

(It was actually like three nightclubs, a jazz hall, a restaurant and a chill out facility all put together in a giant complex)

it was off the chain

oh and I completely forgot there was also a strip club inside the saint as well...

they called it an entertainment complex, and that's exactly what it was

it was HUGE

and absolutely THE MOST EXCITING nightclub I've ever seen

The Old limelight in NYC couldn't hold a candle to the saint. I went there a lot and it was bullshit compared to the saint

by the way

Jet basically did the exact same thing with Sam

he went there and TOLD THEM He was working for them now

and created his own unique job title that didn't even exist before

That's why I was so proud of him for following his dreams and making his own rules

and Ron wasn't the real owner, he was the one who APPEARED to be the owner

it was actually run by a REALLY old white haired Sicilian guy they called "willy"

"willy" couldnt even speak English, only a tiny bit, and spoke in Italian

he was like 85 years old, and he still wore the jogging suit mafia thing, and a little. o would bring him and there'd always be a bunch of hot women who would run out into the parking lot and give willy flowers

it was SOOOOO crazy

100% true.... but totally insane and unlikely

there's no such thing as 'the mafia'

that's slang

it is called LA COSA NOSTRA

LA COSA NOSTRA translates into:

"this thing we have"

or "this thing of ours"

either one is correct

THIS THING OF OURS
between me and you
(which was an agreement between them and EVERYONE)

"this thing we have"

if you fuck up this thing, I will make an example out of you to show everyone else what happens when you BREAK THIS THING OF OURS

>>941039931
a LIMO* would deliver willy to the saint

and Ron Zappi kne we he was coming, so he'd always have several hot women ready with flower bouquets to run out there and greet willy

REAL SICILIAN SHIT

>10 years of spamming
>porn became more and more
>people ignore and hide threads
>oldfags don't even put up with this shit

So how is the crusade going, OP?

For all the time you spend online posting, you could at least have stroked your dick enogh to fill a fucking gas tank!

Enough with the pathetic poop posts fueled by hate and anger, don't u want to nut to some delicious old grannies?

See, the whole joke is that you want to troll people, but in the end, you are agitated enough to keep this up for years.

So pragmatically seen, you are the one who is mad and fighting against something you hate, which is completely futile.

So we are trolling you initially, you are just reactionary angery lol

>>941037073 (OP)
his fudge floppers ?

>>941041282
Here you are!