Thread 942273716

Okay I'm a fucking idiot you guys, I messed up and found out that I have a son with an escort that I have been seeing for a few years on and off.

Like over a year ago she said I had gotten her preganant and the timeline matches up, she wasn't mad or demanding about anything, just wanted to tell me. She said she was planning on aborting but she was having hard feelings about it, I said I wouldn't pressure her to choose either way, we lose contact after she stops wanting to communicate much at all anymore.

Fast forward to now, she had been wanting to see me after getting in contact again, we have sex again and I can tell something is just

different

like about her body different, and her energy too, so I have a gut feeling to ask in a roundabout way about how we parted ways

shes french by the way and I only speak english so we only ever communicate through my phone on google translate.

I ask
>"So you didn't end up having the child I guess"

She just pauses and looks at me, not mad,
just preparing to tell me

She had the kid

We are two different races and the kid looks like my baby pictures,

yeah I got a paternity test

she isn't asking me to do anything, but like

it feels like a massive kick to the nuts

Im pretty unable to be a good and present father at this time when he needs it most, and I don't know if a barely present father is worse than just being entirely absent, i feel sick.

I have never even brought a girlfriend home, my parents might die of shock if I told them I have a son

what do

>>942273716 (OP)
Just ignore it and move on. Best thing you could do right now.

>>942273716 (OP)

Sad, bro. What a sad life for everyone involved. The world actually would have been better off if you killed yourself way back when you were thinking about it.

I mean, I guess.

I'm just a bit torn up about it since I'm a deadbeat for that and she isn't being mean or manipulative about it, not pressuring me to do anything.

She asked me if I want to meet him, and in the moment I said yeah, but now I don't know

>>942273866

actually made me do a double take to see if I mentioned that I was suicidal lmao, you got me

solid guess on your part

>>942273929
Do it

imagine paying for escorts with your n33tbux, you are a stupid nigger i could just tell your welfare officer everything right fucking now. infact i think i will.

>>942273716 (OP)
Why is an escort letting you nut inside her and not on birth control?

This sounds like larp, or the girl wanted a baby daddy, leaning on gay ass larp.

Stik it in her pooper nxt time lol.

Your own fault for raw dogging the help. Be a man and take ownership of the kid otherwise it will have a much worse life than your sorry ass. It really doesnt matter how your parents feel about the matter at all.

>>942274599

because we were friendly and horny, but also I thought she was on birth control that entire time.

God I wish this was larp dude, I really do.

She isn't even asking me to really be part of the childs life, I don't even know what to make of this

>>942273716 (OP)
Well to state that you're an idiot (assuming this is all true and not some detailed larp) is the obvious but what do you want to do? If the paternity test says the kid is yours then do you want to be in your kid's life and not with her? She is a prostitute so that line of work might not be the best environment to have around a kid. That don't mean she is a terrible mother. Does being a deadbeat sound more like your thing? If it is your child then it is up to you. Be there for your kid so they might have a better childhood, so they won't be at risk for going to jail, being a rapist, being a loser, or dropping out (kids with no dads have a higher risk of those things, look up the stats) or just say i'm out and never think twice about it?

not gonna lie, homie. this is one of my biggest fears that years from now (or even soon since i’m in my 30’s) that some old hookup is gonna hit me up and let me know some shit. honestly have thought about dipping from the northeast and moving just in case lol
but i feel for you bro. hope something works out for you. hope this makes you laugh at least

>>942274599
>Why is an escort letting you nut inside her and not on birth control?
I do it all the time in Thailand. As long as they get paid they're ok with it. Also some may want a white kid or get a man who will take care of them.

>>942274843

I guess it feels wrong to just disappear entirely considering she hasn't asked me for much of anything in all this time, she leaves the child with her family that lives in the same city and from the pictures she showed me, he looks happy.

I legitimately don't know what to do, because I don't have the means to step in as a father by myself in secret and since there is a language barrier I can't even step up as a father with the support of my family because ultimately that is her kid more than mine

I don't mean that in the way of reducing my part in this, I mean moreso that I wasn't present for any of it, I wasn't there when he was born I don't change any diapers I just skipped out on it and also I was relieved when she said shed get the abortion, even though I didn't tell her to go either way.

and I guess a fucked up fear I have is that if I decide to walk away that he may try to find me someday if I try to move on as if he doenst exists.

I can't introduce him to my family since it would pull him away from the people who wanted him to exist at all,

there isn't a follow up move that feels right, just different version of wrong.

I guess I'm leaning on being a deadbeat and trying to live with myself.

>>942274945

thanks dude that actually made me laugh pretty hard haha

also I feel like generally if they don't have contact for around this long then you are probably in the clear for anyone coming after you, she isn't trying to scam me, she just offered me an in to be part of his life

and I feel like a pretty giant sack of shit because even though she is being gracious all things considered, I can't step up

guess that's on me

>>942275315
wait you're a nigger aren't you?

>>942275315
damn, homie. sounds like you’re a pretty solid dude all things considered. i’d feel too guilty but would know i’d absolutely hate that shit. hope this works out for you

>>942275439

at this point I might as well admit it, yeah

I really didn't want to be the stereotype. She is white, I'm black.

>>942275831
kinda surprising that you still care somewhat tbh
you're a ok nigger, anon

>>942275315
You asked what was wrong when the sex felt different and she told you she had the baby. She didn't tell you until happenstance allowed for it. Unless this is some roundabout indirect way of saying she wants you to be the father, she doesn't need you to be in the kid's life even though common sense says it took two parents to make the kid and it takes two parents to give the kid a mom and dad, what they need. She is a prostitute, which doesn't make her a terrible mother or bad person. You're both equally responsible for this. She didn't get the abortion and it isn't like you could have forced her to get one or not get one. You nutted in her and got her pregnant, she had sex with you without a condom knowing the risks. She is a hooker, she has sex with men and makes almost all of them use a condom. For a reason.
The kid is the "victim" since they had no part in this, they were just born and might think mommy just works as a cashier or whatever the fuck lie she tells her kid mommy does for work. The kid has no clue. If she hasn't asked you to be in their life or to pay money then they're fine keeping it that way. I'm assuming. You want to do the right thing but she'll dupe some sucker into playing the step dad and tell the kid that is his dad or that daddy died or some bullshit. Or raise the kid as a single mom. You can't abort the kid now because that would be murder.

>>942273716 (OP)
this is the best time to get your shit together when he's like 1 or 2 and hasn't realized you're a humongous piece of shit or whatever you say you are

>>942275979
You're placing all the blame on OP. She, knowing her line of work, had sex with a client without a condom, got pregnant, waited for it to grow and get deeper into the growth, still didn't get the abortion, delivered the baby to completion, didn't give it up for adoption, and is now raising the kid on her own most likely with the funds she gets from being a hooker. Are you fucking retarded? Did you not read what OP posted?

>>942275315
Just meet the kid and start making an effort to involve yourself. It's never too late and might be just what you need to brute force you into becoming a real adult. It won't be easy but it is going to be better for everyone in the long run.

The language barrier can be overcome and even be an advantage for you and the kid.

Just go without any expectations for yourself other than being there, and it will come eventually.

>>942273716 (OP)
I guess you are marrying a French hooker. It could be worse

First off you know how extremely lucky you are that she’s not aggressively pursuing child support? Learn to count your blessings. You also have a son which means your bloodline continues.

Anyways with that being said, you should start trying to be involved in your kids life. The sooner you do that the easier things will be. Have you met your child yet? I promise you things will immediately change once you meet your own flesh and blood. You only have doubts because you haven’t met your child yet. Stop avoiding your child, that’s so fucked up. Own up and man up. Your child is extremely lucky to be born because abortion is horrible and disgusting.

This is why I only jerk off orgasm alone. Should kill opportunities instead of making them. A fertile woman is disgusting to me. Life rape. You can't harm someone that was never here

>>942275917

lmao I needed the chuckle on this, thanks

>>942276102
that's some fair advice, I appreciate it.

and I guess that is the crossroad I'm at now, I have cold feet but really this moment is the best chance to try be part of his life, if I leave now. I doubt she will be as gracious with me in the future if I ever change my mind

>>942276116

I care about her like a friend but we don't have any romance between us so we could only ever co parent

>>942276380

Yeah during the whole situation part of me was really doubting the reality of it because of how gracious she was being, Even back before we lost contact I figured she likely got the abortion because it felt unlikely that she would just let me walk away like that, but she didn't chase me down or anything.

And she didn't threaten me even when I came back last time.

She just said "Sorry" and asked me if I was okay when she told me, she kept trying to see if I was alright? Like? I wasn't the one who gave birth and had to raise a kid without the other parent.

Thinking about it has me shaken.

Ironically it'd be easier to listen to the part of me that is scared and wants to run away, if she were being vindictive about it

fucked up thought to have, I know,

but how calm she has been from the moment she told me she was pregnant has had me more shaken than any threatening, anger or cursing she could have sent my way

>>942273716 (OP)
Don't worry. Trans women can't get pregnant.

How far do you think this conversation could go?

>>942283333
the conversation was over 100 minutes ago, pajeet