Thread 942349906

>2002
>be mark zuckerberg
>harvard freshman, computer whiz, lover of asian pussy
>obsesssed with banging chinks (their pussies feel so good because they're sideways)
>go to annual harvard freshman PPPPPPPP (Pi Phi Pi Pan-Pacific Pussy Penetration Party)
>go to parking garage, drop off PPPPPPPPPP (P Phi Pi Pan-Pacific Pussy Penetration Party Parking Permit)
>be wearing nerdy shirt
>it says "#include <beer.h>"
>it'a C thing, and chink whores love low level programming languages
>bout to crush more sideways pussy than genghis khan
>see arch nemesis tyler winklevoss
>he does this incredibly gay thing where he pretends to have a twin

>he's wearing a similarly nerdy shirt
>"from alcohol_supply import beer as booze"
>this faggot doesn't even know how to code and he thinks he can out-genghis me tonight just because his shirt is written in python, which is more readable than C
>this prepnigger thinks he's hot shit just because he doesn't have a micropenis

>start chatting up QT
>name is priscilla
>pretty drunk so be like 'OH U CHINESE U RUV ME RONG TIME"
>she stares at my shirt
>"#include <beer.h>? what language is that? sorry, i only know python"
>she notices tyler
>"oh my god, tyler, i LOVE your shirt! it's so funny! wanna get outta here?"
>later found out that he destroyed her pussy worse than japan destroyed the inmates at unit 731

>need revenge
>get idea for internet web application
>it's like friendster and myspace, yet somehow even worse

>need pictures of girls for internet web application
>break into all the dorms and take pictures of them while they're sleeping
>softly moan and touch rock hard cock through sweatpants
>go home and make blog post about how i did some computer bullshit and hacked into all the dorms

>2025
>now have 200 billion dollars, so that's cool
>facebook nothing but senile boomers who forward posts like they're chain emails from the 90s
>whatever, have 200 billion dollars, so can't say i care that much

by the way, for the last fucking time...you know how you complain that FB is nothing but porn these days? it's because every time you scroll past an image of a hot chick, you stop scrolling for a few seconds and stare. the FB algos take that as a sign that you like looking at that sort of thing, so it provides you with more of it. facebook would be pretty normal and boring if you faggots didn't always stare at tits