Getting kicked out by the end of the month
Nerve damage spreading from my fingertips now past the backs of my hands, poison will circulate for the next 5 weeks
Only $700 in the bank, $500 owed to electric company soon, slumlords will overcharge for the several forehead dents and vinyl scratches
Mom won't let me live with her and thinks that I will lose my disability checks because of Darth Trump soon
Hands compromised can't live on a river or defend myself from crackheads
I'm too soft and pathetic I won't make it on the street
I request authorization from Jesus Christ to commit suicide

>>22892446 (OP)
>poison will circulate for the next 5 weeks
?

Under no circumstances will Jesus give you permission to commit suicide. You'll have to go on living possibly very miserably for a few months just like the rest of us. This is how you find out just how resilient you really are. Will you become a raving hobo on the street or become the father with deep lore one day?
The choice is yours.

you're allowed to kill yourself as long as you take a bunch of non believers with you
see samson and the philistines
i don't think many churches advocate for this behaviour however

>like the Rest of Us™
Aren't you always going on about how good your job pays you


I know I'm not special but I'm too weak My brain is too sensitive I've been cocooned for too long I'm not going to make it
I can barely handle going into a grocery store with my mom a few times a year
I have subhuman heat exhaustion genes and I've had two heat strokes
Will I die camping on a river?
I have no knowledge or skills or gear
I would get picked up and arrested and thrown in jail to get nigger raped
The next apartment would be worse in niggertown ghetto the noise would make me more insane and need to kill myself from the noise and I would get evicted again
I won't have any money for the first $600 of rent and the equal deposit
Moving out will run my bank account dry
I can't live in a place where there's moids and strangers again especially homeless people

>>22892446 (OP)
Don't take this the wrong way as I say it with the utmost care and seriousness but have you considered padding your room with pillows or matresses like those cells in the movies? Or maybe just a closet that you can use when things get to be too much? It would probably help with the sound too like makeshift sound-proofing. If you're claustrophobic it's probably a bad idea but I think it could be comfy with some soft lighting and a good book. Also classical music if that doesn't bother you too much.

>>22892549
i think the bigger problem is he's getting kicked out, but yeah
my dad has mild aspergers & sometimes he sits in an empty bathtub with the lights off to calm down

>>22892554
Oh well. Maybe he can offer to help fix it

1) Don't kill yourself or hurt yourself in any way
2) end of the month... you've got some time... good luck, you can find something....
3) poison?! Seek medical attention.

>>22892678
>3) poison?! Seek medical attention.
i think he had some nightmare medical malpractice shit
he hasn't elaborated on the poison, but surgery on his shoulder is what gave him the nerve damage

>>22892684
>medical malpractice shit
Hopefully that's cash money at a future date.

>>22892696
true

denied

>>22892446 (OP)
They pay you to be homeless in California

>>22892684
No it was corticosteroid injections gone wrong and a reckless female MD and it's my fault for blindly agreeing to her idiocy, even though I was sedated before I went and not thinking clearly, but brought a paper saying no injections so I wouldn't forget and showed it to her, because I didn't want to be manipulated into agreeing to something that I don't really and I have a problem of being too much of a pussy to decline or tell someone no

You're not even supposed to give steroids after a month or two and it's been 5 months, needle trauma and the slow releasing steroid is actively compressing my carpal tunnel even further and will until the steroid runs out which take 6 weeks

Her ultrasound didn't show immediate tendon degradation so she just assumed it's carpal tunnel , but that's not true because I've had stiffness and clicking and grating for months but it just would have just been the compressed nerve that was making the pain increase

It's so fucking stupid she didn't address what's causing that Nerve enlargement, or how I'm going to prevent that long term, she just said that it would help and I would come back in 6 weeks and get another one

I only went to get an ultrasound just so I can get targeted tendon rehab based on the imaging but now I'm set back of further month at minimum

My fingertips keep not being able to feel cold water and the numbness that was first in my fingertips on the first two knuckles is creeping down into my palm and if it stays compressed for weeks then That's like wearing something too tight and could cause long-term nerve damage. But 8 days later the pain is worse than before I went, and my wrists are more dysfunctional and has less range of motion

Don't trust female doctors and don't ever agree to orthopedic injections or surgery

>>22892970
oh fuck
>Her ultrasound didn't show immediate tendon degradation so she just assumed it's carpal tunnel , but that's not true because I've had stiffness and clicking and grating for months
what do you think is causing this stiffness/grating?
was it from the exercise you were doing?
i might have something similar

>>22892974
Chronic stress chronic overuse no recovery time