Thread 23072357

I have committed unforgivable violations.
Living with the weight of this awareness has become unbearable.

i feel you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9s63ZNKSzg
just remember, anything can happen, anon
you have tons of time and fortune left
there's plenty of drastic things you can do to change your life
maybe living with that awareness is a proper punishment

My greatest regret is that I didn't change sooner.
My greatest wish is to never hurt anyone again.

>>23072378
whyd you delete your image

>>23072357 (OP)
>>23072378
>>23072409
What unforgivable sins have you committed choom?

>>23072426
i let someone die out of laziness once
all i had to do was walk 4 blocks through the ghetto at midnight, but i was too exhausted/spooked

i knew her heart was gonna fail during the night if no one administered electrolytes

>>23072531
>>23072535
Should have called 911 if you knew they were going to die.

>>23072566
nightmare

>>23072566
Leave anon alone
Are you just here to salt our wounds?
It's not like he's bragging. He's probably hard enough on himself

>>23072566
the local hospital put her on IV zoloft and some kind of AI defibrillator vest which automatically detected heart attacks using biometric data streamed to some servers in another state
she was at the local nursing home at one point but it was one of those ones where the staff is all black kids who don't want to be there, she got injured a couple times
i was this little faggy kid and my mom was this crazy BPD woman, if i had called and said "she's gonna die because of this electrolyte thing" they'd probably think i was anxiously reading wikipedia articles and get pissed
i realize she shouldn't have been in any of those situations in the first place, and that if we actually cared about her she would have been living with us
it was just fucked

my point was she probably would've refused to go back to the hospital anyway, and seemed resigned to dying
i know i probably could've gotten her to drink the electrolytes though if i had gone over there

my aunt was a meth addict who lived with her for like 2 decades, my mom was pissed about it
she had this crackehad rapist in the house when my mom was young
i think my mom and her were still codependent though after all these years, it's probably why she tried to "help" even though she wouldn't let her live at our house
i suggested it several times

\NOW THE FUCKING THREAD IS GOING TO DIE
FUCK OYU
YUFCK YOU

>>23072621
relax

>>23072594
What did you mean by this?

>>23072599
>Leave anon alone
He clearly wants to share
>Are you just here to salt our wounds?
Wasn't my plan

>>23072612
> if we actually cared about her she would have been living with us it was just fucked
If she was in a nursing home that means she needed constant care basically. Doubt living with you would have worked out.
>she was at the local nursing home at one point but it was one of those ones where the staff is all black kids who don't want to be there
I've seen those all over the place and I know what they're like. They are very shitty.

>my point was she probably would've refused to go back to the hospital anyway
You couldn't have forced her to go if she didn't want to go.

None of this sounds like its your fault. Blame the shitty American Nursing homes. 90% of them are like that and they don't take care of the old people.

>>23072628
If Anon's got something he needs to let out then just let him let it out

>>23072643
ok but he started having an anxiety fit about the thread dying so I told him to relax

>>23072642
it seems like alot of the economy of this town is exploiting gullible old people, along with federal prison work and chicken CAFO operations
its fucked
>>23072628
>>23072645
i just wish i could write differently, it often kills threads

it's interesting, it seems like the ICU at the hospital here is actually really good, but the general ward is a death trap
i wonder if it's like that anywhere else
it would make sense, the ICU as the "real hospital" where you get charged $100,000 but everyone is very competent, and the general hospital where you get a bunch of pill recommendations and get sepsis from the bedding and get your shit stolen by nurses

>>23072642
>None of this sounds like its your fault. Blame the shitty American Nursing homes. 90% of them are like that and they don't take care of the old people.
i'm glad i learned all this stuff earlier rather than later
i still just wish i had gone over there that night, mainly

but yeah ty anons

>>23072649
>it seems like alot of the economy of this town is exploiting gullible old people
Your town and every other one. Old people get their money sucked out of them by medical corporations and private companies in the medical field. This is America.

>>23072652
It depends entirely on the hospital.

I used to work for a really corrupt private company. Constantly tried to make me do illegal stuff so they could make a quick 500ish dollars off some poor old lady.

>>23072663
aaah
>>23072658
i see