Thread 23124853

I've made some bad decisions lately and soon I'll have to face the consequences of years worth of being a bad person and doing stupid things. Afterwards my life will either get slightly better or unbearably worse, and I'm very scared about it. Has anyone ever dealed with something similar?

>>23124853 (OP)
stop being a weird faggot and the rest will sort itself out

>>23124853 (OP)
yes
nobody will stop you from making any decisions, good or bad or pleasant or painful
nobody gives a fuck about you
it's scary in practice

>>23124865
Words to live by, thank you.

i don't mean this board, and i don't really mean no one cares abotu you
but you know what i mean

i shouldn't have said anything
i really don't know either, i'm scared too
just remember there's plenty of drastic things you can do to change things at any point

>>23124879
I've made so many bad decisions out of fear alone and saw everything pile up in this mess. Now, after recent events, I'm pretty much forced to face fear and see all those bad decisions melt into pain, hoping it will clear itself somehow.

>>23124892
>>23124908
Also, thank you for the kind words.

>>23124915
if there's anything i can say, it's to try and find some sort of peace for a couple hours per day atleast
i wish i had done that more when things were harder, instead of just sitting in bed anxiously waiting for the next bad thing to happen
i would've had more energy
if there's any way to take your mind off of it sometimes, you maybe should
like walking at a nice peaceful place, or playing a music instrument, or something
>>23124939
of course, good luck

>>23124853 (OP)
No, I've never done anything that horrible.
>Afterwards my life will either get slightly better or unbearably worse
Are you facing possible jail time?

>>23124853 (OP)
Ive spend my whole life rotting in apathy, letting external forces push me around instead of standing my ground, so many choices and opportunities fell and lost themselves from my hands, and a few months ago everything exploded, now im far away from everyone i had ever loved, ive been scraping by in construction work, living with people who i dont know but they hate me and see me as a lost cause, everyday i feel the crushing thoughts that tell me that nothing really matters and should probably end it but these are the repercussions of my non choices, it hurts... But im trying to be better, in a way i deserve it

>>23125146
>it hurts... But im trying to be better, in a way i deserve it
i feel that way sometimes
bearing the burden might be a fitting punishment, if that keeps you going
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMxj-zHfZbw
if you live with people who hate you, that's sort of a death sentence of its own
but things can always change, and there's plenty of good stuff waiting for you if you find a way out

>>23125045
Not that extreme, fortunately. It's mostly about all my current relationships and probably future ones as well.

>>23125146
Harsh words, but you're right. It's awful to think we deserve everything that's happening, but it's also refreshing. If we could have changed a lot back then, we can still do a considerable amount right now.

>>23125166
It is, the only thing i want is to comeback to my old life, i miss my family, but i know that it would probably end up worse if i comeback to who i was,i just want to be comfy.
at least now i can make things right, its just takes time, this too shall pass and shit,,

Thanks for the good vibes anon,

>>23124853 (OP)
Don't sweat it. You can be a good person and make good decisions, all you want. Sometimes shit just hits the fan.