Thread 23135180

>emo boy I might have a crush on who I only sometimes meet at raves etc makes a post on instagram where he's hanging out with some of his emo friends
>immediate pangs of jealousy
>gonna have to move away from this place to my hometown again soon and I will lose the somewhat functioning social life I have now
I'm so fucking tired of everything...

>>23135180 (OP)
Baned ID o.o

>>23135180 (OP)
>>gonna have to move away from this place to my hometown again soon and I will lose the somewhat functioning social life I have now
>I'm so fucking tired of everything...
that is fucked, sorry anon
are you sure there's not a way you could stay where you are? or a way to hold onto the social life after you move back?
>>emo boy I might have a crush on who I only sometimes meet at raves etc makes a post on instagram where he's hanging out with some of his emo friends
>>immediate pangs of jealousy
these websites make everything harder
also i wish i had been part of some subculture like that when i was younger
i feel like a permanent redditor

>>23135180 (OP)
Try again. And try to improve as a person, like... being jealous for something like that is like, weird. I might be the freak here, who knows
P.S: Nice Saria pic

>>23135194
>are you sure there's not a way you could stay where you are?
Not really. I'll basically stop being a full-time student so I can't live in the dorm room anymore. Getting a rental apartment requires being in a queue for like forever closer to larger cities, and either way I would need to like, actually be able to get a job there and I'll probably be unemployed either way because I've fucked up so bad.
>also i wish i had been part of some subculture like that when i was younger
I didn't become part of this until I was like 26. But yeah same.
>>23135195
I just constantly fear that no one actually likes me and I never get to hang out with anyone outside of raves and that hurts so bad.

Honestly posting right now was stupid because I'm supposed to be asleep.

>>23135203
I see. That could be considered as "attachment issues", but I'm not a psychologist so don't take it serious or personal. Anyway, how old are you? maybe your concerns are due to that (I've already read the upper section, but I still want to make sure). And furthermore, what's the core element of that fear of yours? do you have diagnosed low self-stem? maybe previous experiences?

>>23135209
Me too anon, me too

>>23135209
>>23135222
checked

>>23135217
>Anyway, how old are you?
Oh, I'm 28 by now. I'm a late bloomer I guess, had a lot of issues in my early teens that caused that.
>And furthermore, what's the core element of that fear of yours?
It's gonna be way harder for me to have any kind of social life whatsoever in my hometown. And it just sucks to lose the people I've gotten to know regardless.
>maybe previous experiences?
I have low self-esteem because I'm not really good at anything, I'm so stupid and lazy. And like, I always go out alone and I feel good for a while but I still stay disappointed. I'm so upset with myself.

XAXXAXAXXAXXAXAXXAXXAXAXAXAXXA oh my god wait wait wait XAXXAXAXXAXXAAXAXXAXXAXAXXAXXAXxxxx axxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx XAXAXAXAXXAAXAXXAXAXXAXAXXAAAAA!!!!!! LMAO!!!

>>23135233
But why is it hard for you to have a social life in your hometown? do you have personal issues there? are you socially anxious? maybe introvert? the only way to improve is to be aware of your own flaws and the problems of the mind
>I have low self-esteem because I'm not really good at anything, I'm so stupid and lazy. And like, I always go out alone and I feel good for a while but I still stay disappointed. I'm so upset with myself
You can't really be bad at everything. Every person with all their faculties have something to offer, something to create, a skill... And as for how do you feel about yourself, I can't really know if you're stupid and lazy, but I can say that I can understand that because I'm more or less clumsy and glum. Sometimes when I speak I don't say things in the right way, and I have to repeat the idea until I say it right. Is something like that what make you feel upset about yourself?

>>23135262
>But why is it hard for you to have a social life in your hometown?
It's one of those dead industrial towns with a low population and a really high average age. It's like 1.5 hours away with train from the closest somewhat large city, which is probably tiny by your country's standards anyway. Even Stockholm is pretty small by most accounts.
>You can't really be bad at everything.
I have mostly failed at the subject I was supposed to study. I now want to get good at drawing, not that I can likely have a career through that but anyway. But I just keep being so lazy that I almost never get my drawing exercises done. I'm just not feeling that well.

and the chile dude oh noo OH NOOOO LMFAOOOOO XAXXAXXAXAXXAXAXXAXAXXAXAXAXXAXXAXAXAXAXXAA BROOOOO!!!!!! OMG

>>23135278
I see, so you can't realistically have social life in a place like that. My advice is to keep in touch with those few people you really got along with. Maybe organize something, and talk in chats in the mean time
>I have mostly failed at the subject I was supposed to study. I now want to get good at drawing, not that I can likely have a career through that but anyway. But I just keep being so lazy that I almost never get my drawing exercises done. I'm just not feeling that well.
Well, I've failed all the subjects in the last semester as well. I know what you're talking about. But it's not the end of the world. As long as we don't get expelled, we can try again. You might need focus and discipline, things you can work and improve. So stop stop looking down, look up and face life with your head held high
And about drawing, take your time. It's sometimes hard to improve in a new hobby without dropping it. You could even use the drawing to reflect some of your feelings, even if you aren't a drawer properly speaking, you can give it a try

>>23135352
>My advice is to keep in touch with those few people you really got along with.
I sometimes get people's Instagram info, Snapchat etc but I basically never chat with them. If you don't meet up there's generally just nothing to talk about.
>Well, I've failed all the subjects in the last semester as well.
I've basically studied a 3 year degree for 4 years and I still only have just over half the credits I need to graduate. I screwed up really hard and got burnt out after halloween last year and I haven't finished a single course since then. I was supposed to do some re-exams this week but I haven't managed to study for them at all I'm fucked.
>As long as we don't get expelled, we can try again.
I can't really go to the same school anymore for housing reasons basically. I can only live in student housing if I'm a full-time student and that won't be possible. Well maybe I could just re-register for most of my courses but honestly moving back here is gonna be tough on me and also I'm already in debt and I just want to try to get a job although that will be difficult.
>And about drawing, take your time.
Everything feels so urgent to me, sorry...
>You could even use the drawing to reflect some of your feelings, even if you aren't a drawer properly speaking, you can give it a try
I would love to do that but it's just so hard when I'm only drawing those 'blooks' from Fun with a Pencil as of yet. Also, I barely even get those done because I'm so exhausted all the time. Or I mean, I easily get distracted and nothing I do helps. I seriously need ADHD meds but getting that assessed can take fucking years and I don't have years.

>>23135278
my town is similar
i've never really lived anywhere else for an extended period, my parents always liked living in places like that

>>23135366
I really don't want to live there and I hope I can manage to move basically anywhere else as soon as possible but chances seem slim omg

>>23135364
>If you don't meet up there's generally just nothing to talk about
More or less. Starting a chat without meeting personally is right, at least in my experience
>I was supposed to do some re-exams this week but I haven't managed to study for them at all I'm fucked
Close 4Chan and give those exams a try
>I'm already in debt and I just want to try to get a job although that will be difficult
But still possible. Most of us students need a job, not only for the money, but also to refresh our schedule
>Everything feels so urgent to me, sorry...
It's ok, I've been anxious about my stuff too. No one is pointing at you with a gun forcing you to do stuff, at least in general terms no one should do that. Our studies are the most important thing to us in terms of working on them and get the degree, so that should be one of the few things that could concern and urge us. Go on, finish your studies
>I would love to do that but it's just so hard when I'm only drawing those 'blooks' from Fun with a Pencil as of yet
It's something. Don't see just the negative side, try to find something positive
>I easily get distracted and nothing I do helps. I seriously need ADHD meds but getting that assessed can take fucking years and I don't have years
You really have ADHD? if you don't know, then go get diagnosed. Sometimes it feels like it's ADHD, but it actually isn't. How expensive is to be treated for those kind of mental conditions in Sweden? I would bet that it's expensive

>>23135394
i think it's like the chile anon says, it all depends on you
i'm sure you could up & leave any time as long as you have a car to live in, technically
probably a bad idea but it's comforting to know you can do that, if you can get a car
i don't know really, it is scary to think about

>>23135396
>But still possible.
The job market has been indescribably bad in Sweden since at least the the financial crisis. Just getting a job at a grocery store requires you to take IQ tests, compete with 700 other applicants and it goes through a recruitment firm and takes 3 to 6 months. Also basically everything requires a drivers license which I don't have and that takes a while to get as well. I'll probably be unemployable because of the huge gap in my resume too.
I'll probably end up trying to apply for jobs in Estonia again where I've lived before but I really hated moving around so much before I went to collage, it was so exhausting but I will probably be better at actually holding down a job if I get one at this point.
>You really have ADHD? if you don't know, then go get diagnosed.
I'm gonna do that as soon as I've moved because something is clearly not working, I can't do it now because I will move to a different province.
>How expensive is to be treated for those kind of mental conditions in Sweden? I would bet that it's expensive
Medicine is subsidized and I already take epilepsy meds and the subsidies increase the more you pay so basically free. But the problem is that it can take years to get assessed and I don't have that time.
>>23135399
>i'm sure you could up & leave any time as long as you have a car to live in, technically
>probably a bad idea but it's comforting to know you can do that, if you can get a car
As I mentioned I don't even have a drivers license.

>>23135409
my bad

I really need to just go to bed. I might not fall asleep for hours though so I dunno.

>>23135416
Go on, I have nothing to say to you anyway. In part I wanted you to spit out all your shit, sometimes it's what we need
Goodnight, fren. Sleep well

>>23135416
gngn <3

I sometimes just feel so fucking hopeless and no one can help me. I sometimes just want to fucking kill myself.

Fuck I'm starting to imagine myself slitting my wrists up and bleeding all over the floor again.

>>23135426
If you're going to kill yourself, do it properly and with honor. However, don't do it. We need people like you in this rotten world

>>23135424
>>23135426
if there's anything more engaging/interesting you can do when you feell that way, you should always try to do it
i mean some people can find outlets of some kind

>>23135427
this is true though
things can be made better

>>23135435
I should just go to bed but I have this nagging fear that someone will post something important in the thread while I'm asleep that I can't act on after the fact. I'm keeping my hopes up I guess.
>>23135439
I'm actually a computer science student. I got really burnt out at one point and I've sorta gotten tired of it. I feel like everything will be for nought, either due to changes in the industry or me just not being that good.

>>23135445
What the fuck could anyone have to say to you on 4chan that you could act upon at all let alone miss the window to act upon?

>>23135445
Check this thread when you wake up, anon. There's nothing here, and nothing interesting will happen soon. Just rest

>>23135449
I dunno maybe someone who thinks they can help me will ask for some kind of contact info or something. But yeah I should just go to bed...