Thread 23171520

I am too exhausted to deal with people anymore.

>>23171520 (OP)
inaccurate shadow sorry

I'm unironically thinking about heading to the mountains and live there.
Civilization is killing me slowly.

>>23171531
it's a bad image you shouldn't have posted it sorry

>>23171520 (OP)
are you also trying your hardest to please loved ones, despite them having conflicting interests?

>>23171632
i thrive on the mediocrity.

>>23171543
how is it killing you?
also, can you afford to live in the mountains?

>>23171844
Yeah. A mix of conflicting interests and literally being impossible to fulfill what they want out of me. I just want to escape them at this point.

>>23171844
>>23172008
oh, i don't belong here

>>23172008
yep, never understood why so much was demanded out of me, when everyone knows who i am: a lazy underachieving NEET. i want to be there for my loved ones, but i also can't make everyone happy. it's like the stressors and frustrations of their life are taken out onto me, which isn't necessarily fair, but does put my situation into context, that these demands are coming out of a place of emotionality, and not a place which constitutes what is actually beneficial to my growth and development, which i'd imagine is what loved ones would truly desire out of you, to become more of your best self.

in this case, even when you are doing your absolute best, more is demanded out of you, till the point of exhaustion which just isn't sustainable in the long term, physically or mentally. i haven't really found a healthy way to deal with all of it, i'm kinda just taking a break from dealing with all of my loved ones, in hopes that they'll understand i need space. even if they don't, i selfishly take it for myself anyways because the alternative is my own self destruction. the demands can wait, i'm only one person.

>>23172025
you're welcome here, anon.

>>23172106
i think i agree
you have to put on your own oxygen mask first, to a large degree
if you have no energy you can't help anyone
>>23172106
>in this case, even when you are doing your absolute best, more is demanded out of you, till the point of exhaustion which just isn't sustainable in the long term, physically or mentally.
i think it's best to be able to compartmentalize the stress, and to find actual outlets for it ideally
when you have freetime, you can spend it sitting in bed anxiously waiting for the next bad thing to happen, or on some sort of outlet which gives you more energy
i was never able to do the latter, but that's how it seems to me
going for walks even could help, i dunno

>you're welcome here, anon.
well thank you

>>23171520 (OP)
sometimes i realise halfway through a conversation that i really dont care about anything that theyre talking about but i have to keep listening or i'm rude and they just don't shut up aah
i actually know it's my fault i just have zero interest in what most people talk about
i actively avoid eye contact with people i know when walking past - not because i dont like them but because i dont want them to try and make small talk

>>23172149
yeah, i've mostly just been decompressing after a rough week. lots of wine, food, and vidya. really mindless, but my hands swell from the labour i commit to them, so i don't plan on doing much more until i feel better.

>>23172161
i avoid eye contact because i don't want people to get to know me. more people=more problems.

>>23172251
sometimes knowing people can be good if there's a problem and they are good at solving that problem
it depends really

>>23172258
true, but that's why i try my best to cultivate skills of self sufficience.

>>23172106
Yeah, that's what happened. I tried. But every time I had an issue with something be it emotional to something potentially dangerous I was always told to shut up and get over it, even by my doctor. And now with my friends I hear them bitch about things when they are the ones that helped cause that outcome in the first place so I am just over it with them.

It's ok to focus on yourself, to know what you want and to do it after dealing with others for so long. I am good at being an actor but I don't know if you are also. If not then others will grind you down even more once they realize you are not focusing on them.

Just got to flow like wind and water.

>>23172301
i really should do this
trying to get contractors to do work on my house is absolute fucking nightmare because they never show up and constantly make excuses
id pay double for one that actually turns up on the scheduled day and does the work i ask for

>>23172161
It's only natural. It takes brain energy to focus that can be spent someplace more useful.

>>23172251
I don't want others to get to know me because I don't want to be remembered. I still got family and friends that care about me but I wish they wouldn't mourn me.

>>23172611
>>23172633
kawai sou...
take it easy from now on, anon, regardless of what they say. everyone has their limits.

i don't know if i'm good at being an actor, but i never make an effort to appear like i am well put together. i want people to expect nothing from me, but sometimes it just becomes a reason for them to judge me unfairly, and regardless, much is expected from me anyways. it's really unreasonable, and i don't understand how much of these circumstances are influenced by my environment, like if this is just how people are.

>>23172617
honestly, it comes at my own detriment sometimes. i can't do everything on my own, it'd overwhelm me. i just prefer it to the chaotic feelings i get from what should be regular social interaction, and there's always this uncertain feeling i get when having to put my trust in others to do the right things. however, if it's something meaningful, like a warm gesture from my heart, i feel otherwise and allow that vulnerability. i guess i'm not too well adjusted to this whole society thing heh...

hopefully you get your situation sorted out with the contractors, anon. i wouldn't recommend doing what i do at all, sometimes i put myself in situations where i end up needing more help than i needed to begin with.

>>23171520 (OP)
Nonono we need your input nooooooooooooooooooooooo

>>23172768
I am taking it easy now and I feel a bit more refreshed for it. Been working out also which helps my mood. Expectations are a funny thing, a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Expectations are meant to guide people and give them some sort of structure but something was lost along the way I think to actually help the person involved in being judged. I know we both are going to be fine in our own ways even if all our needs are not fulfilled, we can at least deal with it better then most other people who are not used to being short of their goals.