Thread 60829648

>10 am
>Jerome Powell: "Inflation bad. Rate hikes good"
>market plunges
>12 pm
>Donald Trump: "I hear by revoke the Federal Reserve Act of 1913"
>Doesn't elaborate
>Leaves

>>60829648 (OP)
He's going to nationalize Cracker Barrel.

>>60829648 (OP)
Jay is going to CECOT

mcdonalds bailout incoming

you should have got digits
no hope of summoning kek now but picrel

>>60829648 (OP)
>Sergey busts into the room
>Brad looks in through the window in fear
>Guards rush to Sergey, he stomps them all
>He rushes to the podium
>Aliens descend from a flying saucer
>Sergey and aliens on the podium
>Galactic empire confirmed Chainlink partnership
>Token does a solid -1%

>>60829700
Not realistic, where's the part where he eats everyone mistaking them for a Big Mac combo meal?

>>60829722
are you kidding me? that anon put so much work into his humorous post and instead of giving him a simple "kek" to reward his efforts, you instead make an unfunny response that would unnecessarily expand upon his already succinct joke? who do you think you are? you son of a bitch. do you really think that highly of yourself to where you feel you can add your own addition and slap it onto his narrative?
you're a real jerk, you know that? a real jerk. apologize to him right now or else i'm really going to be upset with you.

Will he make Nvidia go back up? And all the other tech stocks?

>>60829658
When I make it from Link I’m gonna get a job serving at Cracker Barrel and drive to work in my lambo and bang all the white waitresses. Then I’m gonna move on to another Cracker Barrel and do it again and again, and again.

>>60829658
B A S E D

FED cutting rates now would be a huge "FUCK YOU" to Trump. It would show a clear signal from Powell that he is just following data, not Trump's incessant begging and threats.

>>60830265
I might be restarted, but....doesn't Trump WANT rate cuts??

Surely you mean a rate hike?

>>60830278
Trump does want rate cuts. But he also wants to be seen as the top dog and have the FED do whatever he says whenever he says it.
FED cutting rates now, as the data is turning bad not when it was just Trump asking and threatening them, shows they don't give a fuck about Trump's asks and that they are just following the data. Trump will throw a tantrum over this.

>>60829648 (OP)
>hear by
Holy ESL. Gtfo.

>>60829700
>>60829722
>>60829903
>holy shit better insert my financial cult leader into this story somehow
all paid posters btw

>>60829700
pffft yeah right. brad would never be let that close to the white house.

>>60829648 (OP)
>the jewish president is going to abolish the jewish monetary system guise!!!11!1 just 2 more weeks!!1
Miggers have literally been doing this for a whole decade at this point

>>60829700
A solid flow of air came out of my nostrils anon

How many milkyways is he going to get away with this time?

>>60829648 (OP)
The reserve charter ended in 2013.
He can end it.

>>60830292
The data is fake and gay.

INSIDER SCOOP: CODE RED SIRENS SCREAM ACROSS YOUR PHONES, TVs, AND THAT WEIRD SMART TOASTER YOU BOUGHT

The screen crackles to life, and there’s President Trump, grinning like he just sold the moon for a profit, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Scott Bessent, who’s probably wondering if he signed up for this level of chaos. Trump, with that signature squint, declares a NATIONAL EMERGENCY cue dramatic music. He drops the bombshell: the U.S. Treasury is DONE issuing treasuries. Kaput. Finito. The bond market? Sent to the glue factory. “We’re swimming in tariff cash, folks, $4 BILLION, best tariffs ever,” he boasts, winking like he’s letting you in on a secret. “We’re paying down the national debt, and we don’t need those dusty old treasuries anymore. Tremendous move, believe me.”

Wall Street loses its collective mind. Traders are yeeting themselves across desks, trying to snatch up bonds before the guillotine drops. The bond market implodes, the Linkies Yield Program collapses into a digital dumpster fire, and the ETH yield crowd is out here crying into their crypto wallets. Absolute pandemonium. Some poor guy Andrew Yang, maybe?gets his hand crushed in the stampede for the last scraps of bonds. Should’ve stuck to UBI, buddy.

Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders, wild hair flapping like a distressed pigeon, calls an emergency Bitcoin meeting. His big plan? Buy Canadian treasuries. The room gags in unison, and someone yeets him out a window, probably a low one, don’t worry, he’s fine. Elizabeth Warren swoops in, all serious, proclaiming that states will have to issue their own bonds to keep their programs alive. Cue every governor Googling “how to make bonds” while sweating profusely.

Folks, we’re in the eye of the financial hurricane now. Grab your popcorn and maybe a gold bar or two ain’t nothing we can do, but watch this circus burn!

>>60829658
Japan should buy it instead. They could save it.

>>60830292
Trump will spin it. "I told Lousy Jerome to start cutting rates WAY earlier. Unfortunately we are now in a big mess. SAD"

>>60829986
This would be based if it were Waffle House instead of Cracker Barrel.

>>60830292
This is Democrat logic. An actual fuck you to Trump would be a hike.

>>60830703
This is Democrat logic. Rate hike would be seen as an emotional chimp out and Powells admittance that he has started to play some political game against Trump.