Okay lads, got a weird one for you.

My room mates wanted to go to a fruit stand, and I was surprised by the kind of shit they had stocked. I got lychee, msngosteen, and custard apple for eating, but what I’m most excited for is this bigass cacao pod!

I’ve read that you can eat the fruit as-is, but is there anything I can use the seeds for? Aside from fermentation, as that requires the surrounding fruit to do, and I don’t have the equipment to do so anyway.

>>21392447 (OP)
I watched a video of someone just eating the fresh seeds. Said it tasted like a mild dark chocolate. Seemed a bit hard though, roasting/steaming them to soften a bit might be a good idea. Or blending them into a cake batter or smoothie or something.

>>21392447 (OP)
Not really. One pod is a relatively small amount and you're probably going to burn everything trying to roast them.

>>21392447 (OP)
why dont you cut your fucking fingernails instead of posting retard questions

The purpose of the fermentation step with cacao is to dissolve the fruit off the seeds. If you eat the fruit and perhaps manually rub off any residue, then you can just roast them. I think they're fairly particular about roasting temperature and duration. Too little and the flavor is under-developed, too much and it will have a burnt, ashy taste.

>>21392447 (OP)
the seeds from cacao are the actual chocolate, but you have to roast them, add sugar and blend them, because europeans they were too bitter for their tastebuds

>>21392502
Noted! There are a couple of guides online to baking them, and they roast at a fairly low temperature, so I'm probably going to give that a try and keep an eye on them.

Maybe I'll update the thread on the process when I do that. I plan on eating this thing pretty soon, it's already so ripe!

>>21392447 (OP)
yeah you're going to want to cram that

>>21392581
I'm not terribly interested in making actual chocolate bars with them, since I'm told making it at home is tedious and gives a fairly inferior product in comparison to just buying some decent chocolate from a store.

What I think I might do is turn the seeds into cacao nibs and/or make some ancient-style hot chocolate-- The kind I've read about the Aztecs drinking.

Truth be told, I'm just really excited to experience such a unique ingredient. I love exotic fruits!

>>21392931
If you've never had a cacao fruit before, you may be surprised how sour it is. The edible flesh isn't very abundant either, but the flavor is good.

>>21392939
I haven't, no, I've just had cacao nibs. Figured it was worth a try, though-- wasn't sure when I'd get the opportunity to do so again. Gotta try everything at least once, right?

>>21392447 (OP)
Are you a male?? WTF with the fingernails? How did you get that bad? Get some clippers. It's an every 2 or 3 weeks job for most people. Treat yourself to a manicure even. That pinky nail is disgusting.

>>21392949
>>21392476
Since people are fixated on my nails, I'm female. I've been growing out my nails a little so I can shape them a bit with a file.

>>21392957
never going to find a husband buying single cocoa fruits, you know
woman with one cocoa fruit, born spinster
woman with a bundle of fruits will have children to match, as they say

>>21392949
>long nails
>pale hand and thin hairless wrist
>pale hairless knee visible
>hem of thin silky dress/blouse visible
>corner of purse visible
>in the back seat of a car snapping pics

>are you a male??

>>21392960
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about

>>21392961
Oh, that's not a dress, that's the bag the fruit was in, lol.

>>21392447 (OP)
cut your nails

>>21392447 (OP)
Use your nails to cut the pod open. Preferably in front of a short-nailed male friend to establish dominance.

>>21392447 (OP)
I should call him

>>21392957
Fuck off troon, your nails are disgusting

>>21392447 (OP)
Hi, miss.

>>21392447 (OP)
Cute and sweet hand, albeit a bin alien-like.

>>21392937
>cacao nibs and/or make some ancient-style hot chocolate
That will be the most fails safe approach if you wish to roast them and avoids the quality issue which chocolate bars would have.
I never had the opportunity to taste fresh cocoa beans but supposedly they lackluster if still unfermented. Which might just mean they taste too different from what people expect.

>>21392949
Stfu queer, you're not my godamn mother, bitch. Now I'm gonna turn my nails into talons just for you daring to assert your pathetic self over me.

>>21392447 (OP)
Apparently the entire pod is edible, however the husk is far too woody to use as a regular vegetable.

>>21392447 (OP)
Every fucking time. Every fucking time one of you faggots include a part of your body in a pic it has to be some fucking freak show. What the fuck is with this troon's velociraptor's alien hand, what the actual fuck am i looking at?
Jesus fucking Christ.

>>21392957
get out

>>21392957
well hello beautiful

>>21393273
OP here. Please don’t speak for me. People are more than welcome to think my nails are gross.

>>21393314
I think it’s just the way I’m holding the pod. Here are my weird little hands if you’re curious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2i19c5U258

seems like who lot of work for a tiny bar
>just ferment the seeds for a week and then process the nibs in a blender for 10h

>>21393690
>process the nibs in a blender for 10h
Only relevant if you wish to make chocolate bars.

>>21393690
Huh. That’s a lot less complicated than other guides make it out to be. Still probably won’t turn them into chocolate, but this is really helpful regardless. Thanks, anon.

>>21393684
oh that's a male wrist

>>21392957
RIP thread. I don’t know how you thought this would rerail the conversation but good luck finding cacao recipes elsewhere. (I’ve got no clue btw)

>>21393727
Nah, I didn’t think it would at all, don’t get me wrong. I just thought it was a funny thing for people to fixate on. This thread’s been really helpful regardless.

>>21393684

>>21392447 (OP)
Where the hell are you that you were able to buy lychee, custard apple, mangosteen, and cacao?

>>21392447 (OP)
you finna be disappointed

>>21394089
America

>>21394089
Tropical areas of the southern US. Some of it is grown in the states and some is imported.

Hey lads. Just split the lil guy open! Didn’t use my nails, though, I think they’re still a little short for that. Sorry to disappoint.

I also tried the custard apple while I was at it, but obviously that’s not the highlight of this discussion.

A few of the anons were right about the fruit— there was a lot less on the seeds than I anticipated, but I’m glad I got to give them a try. Whoever said these were more citrusy than one would expect, I absolutely agree, but I rather enjoyed it.
The pod I picked must have been the perfect amount of ripeness, because it was very sweet and fluffy with a taste that reminded me of fresh lemonade. I’m just disappointed there wasn’t much of it.

That said though, I did pick up a jar for fermenting, and sanitized it with alcohol before setting it on my counter. The guides I’ve seen say to check it twice a day, and to drain it of any liquid that may build up. The process not only gets rid of the fruit, but also gives the beans their distinct taste. Will keep you updated if the thread doesn’t 404.

>>21394520
Dude that looks terrible nobody would eat that crap

>>21394524
>eats it
>it's good
>i wish there was more
>"nobody would eat that"

You gotta shove it up your butthole.

>>21394534
Dude you literally know nothing about food or the culinary sciences

>>21394524
>posts with a name
>Bad take
Yeah, checks out.

>>21392949
People who make a big deal about a man's nails are insufferable.
I often have long nails, simply because I don't bite them like a mongoloid. And clipping them isn't high on my priority of things to do. No special reason. And yet, people are always commenting on my nails like I'm planning to stick my fingers in their assholes. Trust me, I have no design. Stop looking at my nails, you fucking homo.

>>21394538

>>21394596
kys autistic neckbeard

>>21394520
Very interesting, will be cool to see the process

>>21394608
Cry about it sugar tits.

>>21392447 (OP)
It's always funny seeing you Americans get so fascinated at common fruits and vegetables like they're some kind of alien.

>>21394628
if you want to be disgusting and embarrass yourself, go ahead

>>21394647
Top: How my nails looked when I was still biting them. Nobody had a peep to say about them. Absolutely zero.

Bottom: How my nails regularly look after I stopped biting them. Suddenly everyone has something to say.

The "cut your nails" crowd are insufferable. I bet there's a large overlap with the "her back must hurt" crowd.

>>21394538
“It looks weird, I don’t wanna eat it” doesn’t express any deeper knowledge of food than a caveman can.

>>21394645
Things are more common in other places depending on climate and availability of resources? Wow, I never would have known!

>>21392957
If you are a biological woman, can you post boobies pls? :3

Update: no pic because they’ve barely changed, but the fruit around the beans have taken on a slightly more translucent appearance after one full day of fermentation. Six more to go!

Also broke my nail opening the jar, so I finally got around to trimming them.

Anyone know some good ways to season the nibs when I get around to making them? I’ve seen some people like to spice them up a bit, but I think I’d prefer something a little sweeter.

>>21394681
>biting nails
>or not cutting nails
There is a third way here.

>>21396354
not if you're retarded

>>21392447 (OP)
So, how's the circus treating you? Have you already found a cute, submissive pinhead to fuck?