What is the absolute lowest effort idiot proof way to get to well seared meat with minimal smoke and no cleanup?

90% of my weeknight meals are just a piece of meat or seafood with some simple accompaniments.

Usually I use my cast iron but my new place has a rather sensitive smoke alarm, shitty vent hood, and splatter cleanup is always annoying.

I'm thinking:
>Single burner flat top grill on the deck, not great during winter tho
>Get a few quarter pans and do everything under the broiler, throw the pans in the dishwasher after
>figure out timings for everything in the air fryer
>Find something like a George Foreman grill but with multiple cooking surfaces I can just throw in the dishwasher
>Sous vide + blowtorch, but this requires several hours of forethought and wastes tons of vacuum bags unless I start specially buying vacuum sealed frozen meat

Any ideas I'm missing here?

Get a fan that's pointed towards the vent. Helps direct the smoke more into the shitty vent.

>>21398559 (OP)
jews will delete this post so save it quickly

>>21398559 (OP)
Something like a Foreman grill is probably your best bet. Not sure why you need it to have multiple cooking surfaces you can put in the dishwasher. Cleaning the surface takes less than five minutes.

>>21398559 (OP)
Use a splatter guard with a paper towel in between. The towel will first get moist with the water leaving the meat then act as a filter for the smoke

>captcha: 0 w0ryy

>>21398571
Agree with this, OP if you want to just start out with a Foreman you can quick “clean” the nonstick surface by wiping it with a wet paper towel when it’s hot before you put the meat on.

I’ve got a Cuisinart griddler that has double sided removable plates, works pretty well but it’s a bit weird in that when it cycles the heating element it takes too long to turn back on imo

>>21398559 (OP)
induction cooktop + cast iron pan. you can sear meat in a closet, just let it splatter all over the drywall. if your jew landlord cared about keeping the place clean he wouldnt have given you a cuck kitchen.

>>21398559 (OP)
no smoke, no sear. simple as. move out or just deal with the smoke alarm

You can't have a good sear without smoke.

So... throw out the smoke alarm. Why did you buy one in the first place? Even if it is built in... replace or stucco it up.

>>21398559 (OP)
>remove smoke detector
>open window
wa la

>>21399364
The guy doesn't seem that intelligent.

>>21398559 (OP)
Just do what I do. Take down the smoke detector and wrap it in a blanket, then forget about it for the next 6 years