Why do people get so fucking offended if you don't want to eat their food during a get-together? A "friend" is all mad that I told him not to count me in for food at for his 4th of July party because I'm on a diet. I'm also not drinking. He was insisting I at least let him make me something special. Honestly, now I might just not even attend because he's making such a scene.

It's not a dinner party either. I wouldn't go if it were. What the fuck is with this? Can any "cooks" here explain it?

>>21440908 (OP)
Why would you feel the need to announce ahead of time that you won't be eating? Did you feel it's that important? Are you the star of the show?

>>21440908 (OP)
I have a thing about food as well.
I don't eat most of the delicious food regular people consume because of the high fat content.

this is why you faggots are stuck on this website

>>21440908 (OP)
Gratitude is the giver’s gift, you always have to eat at least a little bit.

Once you’re there just tell him his food smells really good and have a couple bits of something

>>21440908 (OP)
You're a shitty guest and friend. Is this too much attention on you? You don't like being catered to? Yeah, don't attend. Your attitude and socially awkward bullshit will make the hosts regret inviting you in the first place.

>>21440919
Because he announced "I need a head count by tomorrow because I'm going shopping for food and alcohol" in the group chat, so I told him I'm not eating. Better than him spending extra money on food to just throw away.

>>21440929
>you always have to eat at least a little bit.
Why? I'm on a diet. I have to suffer and be hungry the rest of the day because I had to eat a cheeseburger instead of the food I have at home? Why make me suffer?

>>21440931
>You don't like being catered to?
No, I really don't. I don't want him to waste his hard earned money on me when I can eat before I come over, or after.

Irish Stew Guy is that you?

>>21440951
No.

>>21440908 (OP)
ut oh someone has protagonist syndrome

>>21440946
Just CONFORM, you fucking twit. Quit bringing attention on yourself and being self-important.

>>21440908 (OP)
>Why do people get so fucking offended if you don't want to eat their food during a get-together?
Because theyre terrible cooks and they know it are super sensitive about that fact

I don’t know. I’m mostly vegetarian because I’m crazy and have OCD and other mental problems and most meat repulses me. I also don’t trust other people in the kitchen. I’ve stood by aghast in too many friends kitchens watching as they contaminate everything they touch with their filthy unwashed hands while they cook. I usually just refuse to eat any food at gatherings unless it’s really safe like green salad that isn’t covered in nasty dressing, fruit, bread, olives, nuts, cheese, etc. I’m not eating any meat dishes except something really simple like a hot dog from the grill that I watched being cooked so I know it isn’t contaminated. People have gotten really offended and downright angry when they tried to make me eat their food by fixing me a plate and demanding I eat it. I just politely decline and give the plate to someone else. I know I’m crazy and weird but I don’t make any demands of hosts and I always bring a bottle of wine or a case of beer or something. I’m also polite and always help clean up yet people still get nasty when I decline their food.

>>21440960
I'm not going to CONFORM. I need to fucking be in shape for a wedding. And I don't care that someone's grilling heckin' burgers and hot dogs or making their "EPIC MAC N CHEESE" when I'm trying to reach fitness goals.

>>21440965
bro lettuce is one of the least safe foods out there. you should thank your lucky stars that your crazy ass gets invited to outings at all

>>21440946
You already said "It's not a dinner party either" so what he made or didn't, or what you ate or didn't doesn't matter. I'd venture to say they don't want you there anyway, so just stay home babygirl.

>>21440976
I meant a green salad is safe because I know exactly what’s in it and what it’s going to taste like. Trust and believe I know lettuce is one of the dirty dozen.

>>21440927
>t.stuck on this website

>>21440908 (OP)
Imagine having everyone involved in your made up scenario be utterly insufferable.

Why do you have to bitch about it here? Insufferable form of autism.

Terrible bait. Cant believe anyone actually gave a serious answer

>>21440967
One day wouldn't throw you off desu

>>21441158
Problem is, it's multiple days. You think someone doesn't already want to go for lunch and drinks tomorrow? That my dad doesn't want to do dinner Sunday? No one else respects your shit because they think they're the only one trying to make plans with you. Eventually it turns into every day is a cheat day and then no diet.

This is why people stay fat. The "one day won't throw you off" mentality.

>>21440908 (OP)
This is a sexual thing. Some people are "feeders" and they get off fattening up people.

>>21441235
Just skip the bread and baked beans.

>>21440967
I hope you have a prenup.

>>21441344
Regardless it's too many calories.

>>21441365
Not the one getting married. Just have to stand up there in a tux and I've been fighting my way back from going up 30 lbs over my normal weight after a major injury. I'm down 18 lbs. No cheat days.

>>21440967
You know you can just exercise a little harder to make up for it

>>21440965
I cannot relate. All of my friends know how to cook. It seems like you have a trust issue. I assume you feel uneasy riding in a vehicle driven by someone without a CDL.

>>21440908 (OP)
Why would you attend a social event which is all about sharing food and drink with friends if you're not going to be eating or drinking? Either you're going to end up breaking your diet or will be the odd one out and thus make the rest of the group feel weird.

>>21440908 (OP)
Your "friend" was only inviting you because he felt bad leaving the retard out. But secretly they are hoping you don't show up because you always make it awkward. Take the hint and stay home playing nintendo.

>>21440965
>I’m mostly vegetarian
>I’m not eating any meat dishes except something really simple like a hot dog
ah yes, the classic "no meat except hotdogs" vegetarian

>>21441467
he was just asking for a head count, so all you have to do is say you're going, because you are. if you don't eat anything it's his problem. also, you could just not eat anything without announcing it. no one would notice.
grab a seltzer and some chips or something
also, post screenshots of the conversation

I think its because they took the time and spent the money to make something and are eager to share it and please others with food they'll hopefully enjoy. Its usually more likely that people come up with retarded reasons for not trying new food or outright partaking in eating. Bogus food allergies are the worst where someone finds the littlest thing as an excuse not to eat something

>>21440908 (OP)
Someone should tell this guy that's okay to feast every once in while. I don't think you should let your diet interfere with allowing them to serve you.
Let them break bread and have fellowship with you, damn.
Or don't go, "sorry I can't make it brother [sister senpai, kinfolk, sempai, etc]"

>>21441536
To be fair hotdogs are generally made from circus animals that died due to low morale.

>>21441707
This is just the kind of trivia my classroom of students needed today, thank you!

>>21440908 (OP)
Tell him youre washing your hair

>>21441491
Nah, it's like an hour on an exercise bike to burn 500 calories, which is like one cheeseburger. It's not worth it. Weight is lost more in diet than exercise, not that you shouldn't exercise.

>>21441507
>Why would you attend a social event which is all about sharing food and drink with friends if you're not going to be eating or drinking?
To socialize? Play games in the yard like cornhole or throwing around a football? Light fireworks? None of this requires me to be eating hot dogs or pounding beers.

>>21441663
He specifically mentioned "I'm going to the store to pick up booze and food and need to know how many people are coming." So I politely said I was planning on stopping by but not eating or drinking so he didn't have to account for it.

>>21442401
You're lucky to be invited, you seem like a wooden piece of shit. I expect people aren't falling over themselves to converse with you

>>21441694
Feasting "every once in a while" turns into feasting all the time. Because of course, this dude isn't aware I have four other invites to come out on other days where people are saying "aw man, just have a cheat day!"

Funny enough, they'll be the first ones to say "man, maybe we should cut back on the drinking and food, we're getting heavy."

>>21440908 (OP)
>Why was someone offended that I refused their hospitality
It's a mystery

>>21441467
>Being this retarded and anal over what amounts to water weight.
Holy shit you're a huge bitch OP

>>21442415
>just eat every day all day anon, get fat like meeeeeeeee, healthy at every size

>>21442420
Anon if you need to hardcore diet to cut ten pounds you have a fucking problem

>>21441467
>down 18 lbs
Only?? LMFAO

Because people want to rope you in and make you feel in debt to them. Her animal normal don’t even know why they do the dumb shit they do because this happens on a subconscious level. Greg give u food u give grug thing.

>>21440908 (OP)
It's a special day anon, you could eat something keto.

>>21440965
>unless it’s really safe like green salad
lmao
lol even

>>21442422
I have a little over a month to get to an optimal weight or below. There's a deadline coming up. And after this is football season, fall, winter, gotta diet now since I won't be dieting then.

>>21442470
>It takes a month of extreme dieting to lose ten pounds
You have an eating disorder

>>21442471
That's not an eating disorder. I also need to lose at least 17 lbs from where I am now, not 10.

>>21442408
You have no discipline and/or you are just making stuff up now.

>>21442473
30-18 does not equal 17
You have brain problems on top of personality problems
Enjoy your body dysmorphia and pissing off friends because you have all the grace and tact of an angry horse in a casino

I won't eat other people's food because I don't know how sanitary their work space and how hygienic they were in making it.

>>21440908 (OP)
Hey asshole this is your friend. It wasnt a big deal until you started being a mopey little bitch about it. Consider yourself disinvited anyways. happy 4th asshole.

>>21440908 (OP)
OP, You can opt out with an excuse that is polite.
You asked, so I'm going to lecture you like someone who is missing some home training and life experience with etiquette.

Host: neey a headcount
You: I'm bringing ______ for dessert/side , but will have already eaten/be a few minutes late, so don't count me except for drinks.
OR
You: I'm bringing my amazing person, of course. RSVP Yes, Hell Yes!
Host: You sure man? I insist you eat.
You: hahah, okay man, see you then.

At event, bring something everyone will enjoy to make you a GOOD guest that wants to be included or thought about the next time around, and something to drink to share and also planned just for yourself.

Bring your small cooler of assorted diet teas/ no sugar seltzers, bag of limes to cut up, NA beer, whatever. Optionally, a gift to the host is typical, and would not need to be consumed by them on the spot necessarily. I sometimes bring a themed apron for their cooking, a bouquet of flowers/centerpiece, something for their kid like a toy or cute theme Tshirt, even a dog toy for the holiday dog's or their collar.

Be careful being preachy about your diet. Good for you that you have goals and willpower of a god. But, keep quiet about it, and be complimentary about the gratitude of the get together and social time. Don't be cranky!

ITT: people respond to OP’s question asking why people get mad at him by getting mad at him.

>>21440908 (OP)
I am autistic and don’t see anything you’ve done wrong. Better friends would respect your eating challenges. Neurotypicals just suck I guess. Try befriending other people with similar issues.
>>21440965
>I’m mostly vegetarian because I’m crazy and have OCD and other mental problems and most meat repulses me.
Sounds like it could be autistic sensory issues and/or AFRID. There’s not always a clear distinction between those two things.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant/restrictive_food_intake_disorder?wprov=sfti1
>>21440961
A rare actual answer in this thread.
>>21441674
Another actual answer.
>>21442451
And the third.

>>21442662
>I'm autistic
>Am I misreading basic social interaction?
>No, people just suck and I hate them
lol
lmao

>>21442662
I have autism and I was taught to allow others serve you, even if their food is garbage. Unless OP has PKU or some other disorder that requires strict dietary restrictions, have religious requirements, or some other compelling reason that I'm sure a real friend would understand and appreciate, I think they are being just a little unreasonable with no additional context. Maybe OP should terminate his friendship if his friend can't appreciate his dietary needs instead of blogging about it on a text-based african agricultural BBS.

>>21442401
I think you're greatly exaggerating your friends reaction. post screenshots of the conversation

Thanks OP now I'm glad I don't have friends

>>21442941
>I have autism and I was taught to allow others serve you, even if their food is garbage.
A common response to all kinds of disability discussion. “Well I have X and I don’t Y!” While I could say you’re lying, that makes for unproductive conversation because you can say that for literally anything. What I will say is that just because you have autism doesn’t mean you have the same kind of sensory issues with food I suspect OP has, and even if you do that doesn’t mean your opinion is the end-all be-all of this discussion, you still have to argue. Without exception every single child abuser has themselves once been a child, but that doesn’t mean we should give them free reign to treat children however they see fit. Having experienced the same pain as another person can just as easily be used to justify inflicting it again rather than stopping it.

The way I see it, the etiquette rule of always trying something the host provides simply isn’t a reasonable ask for individuals with the kind of food issues common for those on the Autism Spectrum. Eating certain foods causes not only mental but even physical pain to these individuals that far exceeds what a normal person experiences. People say that it hurts the feelings of the host, but what about the feelings of the autistic guest? Given the nature of this site, I expect to receive at least one reply that the guest “deserves” the pain for the sin of being impolite or mentally disordered.

OP didn’t even wait until dinner was actually served. During the planning phase, they warned their friend in what they thought was a polite gesture to save them the effort of cooking for another person. And for this gesture OP receives the reward of countless insults and hostility.

I have autism and my parents also tried to teach me to at least try something the host serves. Only resulted in pain and worsened my relationships with food and other people.

>religion
Why’s religion legit but OP’s not?

>>21443532
you don't have to stuff your face. just eat a small portion of whatever. idk maybe a scoop of potato salad and a kielbasa.
your friend isn't going to be auditing your plate.

>>21440908 (OP)
you are a bitch.
is good manners to eat, you dont even need to eat that much and you can compensate later

>>21440908 (OP)
OP is 100% right and everyone going
>bro cmon bro just have a little bro cmon you’re being autistic bro you gotta have something don’t be weird
Are the crabs in the bucket
Fuck em

>>21444625
this

>>21444694
dumb bumpfag

>Not eating because of diet

Lmao NGMI. I've lost 30 kg's and I still had room to go out eating, drink beers and hang out with friends and family. Any diet that makes you "not eat" is going to fuck you over in the long run. You sound like an annoying fat fuck who will never lose everything

>>21440961
That or they eat pure slop but don't like it being pointed out.

>>21440908 (OP)
Now anon, are you sure hes actually offended? Or are you just assuming.
If i was grilling for people and someone said they weren't eating id be ok with it. More for others. I wouldn't take it personally

>>21442662
>>21443532
Just to be clear, I'm OP and I'm not a vegetarian or anything. I also don't have autism.

>>21443234
I don't feel like blurring everyone out and posting 7 or 8 screenshots of him lecturing me.

>>21445290
>I'm not a vegetarian or anything. I also don't have autism.
So you're just an inconsiderate asshole? The autistic mentally ill, mostly vegetarians like me have an excuse. If you're a normie then your friend has every right to be pissed. Does your friend fuck you or something cause you're acting like a bitch.

>>21444553
Why is it "good manners" to eat and not "good manners" of the host to respect that "compensating later" means sitting around starving because I hit my calories for the day with a cheeseburger and serving of mac and cheese?

>>21443638
>Potato salad
One cup of that shit is 400 calories.
>Kielbasa
They won't have that but a beer brat, which they will have, is 300 calories without a bun. Plus 150 calories for a bun. Not to mention any condiments. It's an 800 calorie plate just to appease the host.

>>21445058
He spent literally like two days in chat sperging out.

>>21444982
I can eat plenty. I just can't eat shitty 4th of July foods made for people who unabashedly don't care if they're fat. How'd you lose the weight if you still drank booze and ate fatty foods all the time? Ozempic?

>>21445303
Why is it inconsiderate for me not to eat if I've already told them not to prepare extra food for me? I'd totally get being inconsiderate if I let them assume they should buy me food and then I didn't eat so they had to trash a bunch of leftovers. I'm just trying to meet weight goals and stick to a diet where I can eat plenty of good, healthy food instead of EPIC MAC N CHEESE.

>>21445310
>He spent literally like two days in chat sperging out
How? What did he say?
Im actually on your side on this. Forced hospitality is gay. If you dont wanna eat or drink you shouldn't feel guilty not doing that. Spending time with friends is good in itself. It doesn't need to be propped up with food and drink.

>>21445310
>One cup of that shit is 400 calories.
did I tell you to eat an entire cup? NO! most people don't. you'd have to go out of your way to eat an entire cup. just grab a spoonful
>They won't have tha
I can't micromanage your eating. use your judgement. maybe grab a chicken wing, or a chicken breast.
>>21445290
>7 or 8 screenshots of him lecturing me.
if that's true, then your friend is in the wrong.
but you should still be able to navigate this situation with minimal calorie consumption.

>>21445316
A single day of off track eating isn't going to make you gain back all the weight you lost. It's a holiday celebration. Celebrate. If you're hell bent on being a cunt, just pack your diet food and bring it with you and announce to everyone you're a bitch whose vanity diet takes precedent over celebrating America by eating good food and getting trashed with your friends.

>>21445310
A feel 2 days upset in chat, well maybe this person has issues with boundaries. No means no, is just not accepted. It's a dysfunctional relationship or you didn't express yourself politely. Either that or some very real cultural difference.

The real problem is you, however. Your attitude and way you talk about these others is really that of an asshole. Ozempic fixes appetite and blood sugar, nothing more.
People on this class of meds, I think makes food really really slow down in digestion. I just heard they have to skip the meds a full week before a colonscopy.

A lack of empathy or sociability for others and always prioritizing one's own circumstances and preferences are dangerous signs often seen in autism and personality disorders.

I think OP and the host are in some kind of DL relationship which explains the histrionics on both of their parts over something so trivial.

>>21440946
>I don't want him to waste his hard earned money on me
What are you 15 years old? Your friends breaking the bank over an extra two hamburgers at the BBQ? I literally wouldn't care if my friend bought extra meat and they wouldn't expect me too, but then again we aren't broke bitches.

>>21445318
>How? What did he say?
Similar shit to what was said in here. That he wants to spoil his friends. That one day of eating/drinking shouldn't be a problem. That I shouldn't have gotten to the point that I felt I needed to lose weight in the first place. That I should hit the gym instead of managing my diet. (I gained weight due to a major accident and being more or less bedridden/in a wheelchair for the better part of a year).

>>21445327
>A single day of off track eating isn't going to make you gain back all the weight you lost.
Like I said in an earlier post, EVERYONE wants me to have me join in for their "one day of off track eating/drinking" and I have to put my foot down, otherwise every day will be a cheat day and I won't make progress. Yesterday I was asked out to lunch/dinner/drinks. Saturday I'm invited to another event where they want me to eat/drink. Same with Sunday with my parents. The answer to these people has to just be "no, I can spend time with you but I can't eat and drink like nothing matters."

>>21445332
I'm not trying to be an asshole. I genuinely wonder how that anon seemingly lost 30kg without changing their diet or consumption at all. It's calories in, calories out to lose weight, or they've figured out some miracle diet. Or they train like an olympic athlete.

>>21445393
It's not like it's the end of the world if he wastes a few bucks but honestly I'd be annoyed if someone came over to my house with no intentions to eat and I'd ordered a big pizza that I wasn't going to eat by myself after they left.

>>21445421
>Similar shit to what was said in here. That he wants to spoil his friends....

Well he's being an ass. He has no right to tell you how to eat and when. He needs to respect you. If he was a better friend he would respect your wants.

>>21445421
>Like I said in an earlier post, EVERYONE wants me to have me join in for their "one day of off track eating/drinking" and I have to put my foot down, otherwise every day will be a cheat day and I won't make progress.

Is everyone in your life fat? I can understand how that would make your maintaining your diet really tough. But still, if you're on track, one day of cheating on THE FOURTH OF JULY isn't going to ruin your diet or progress. Maybe you just have to cut contact with fat people in your life who ask you to eat like shit everyday. Alcoholics and drug addicts who get sober and clean don't associate with people who are actively getting high and drunk because they can't afford to jeopardize their sobriety. It seems like you may be in a similar situation.

>>21444625
Agreed. Ops friend is a pushy asshole. Reminds me of a guy I knew thay would keeps pushing drinks on me despite me not wanting any. It was super annoying. He was an alcoholic

>>21444982
You’re 400lbs and lost 60 by engaging in baseline human activity

>>21445471
Honestly I'm on an alcohol break too, and as someone who drinks too much, just showing up to a 4th of July party with everyone drinking while I stick to sparking water is hard enough. He should be happy I'm toughing that out just to come hang out at his party.

The people in my life aren't fat, but they're all operating as if they're the main character and I can't possibly have any other plans the rest of the week. Everyone wants to be the "well you can make ONE exception can't you?" person. If it's not the 4th of a July, it's someone's birthday, or it's their only night away from the wife and kids for the month, or it's Sunday family dinner.


I've been on track but I have a very limited time to lose this weight and really can't let one day see me gain 5 lbs because I just said yolo and fucked around and ate shitty and got drunk.

>>21445474
He was a bussyholic.

>>21440908 (OP)
>op
autism?

>>21440946
Take a small plate and one beer isn't going to fucking kill you. You're not 6 weeks away from the Mr. Olympia you sperg just spend an extra 30 minutes on the treadmill

>>21440967
Stand your ground king don't let the normalfags try to shape you

>>21442473
>That's not an eating disorder.
It's literally the definition of an eating disorder.

>>21445584
How the fuck are you going to gain five pounds in a day? I understand the alcohol avoidance if you genuinely have a problem and are trying to abstain. In that case I wouldn't attend a party where the focus is drinking like most 4th parties are. If you're actually a fat alcoholic who wants to stop being a fat alcoholic then you need to not put yourself in places where alcohol and bad food are the focus. I quit drinking 15-20 drinks in a sitting in my late 20s and the only way I was able to make it stick was not associating with the same people or going to functions or places where everyone would be drinking like bars and 4th of July parties. It sucks but if you want to be successful in your sobriety and weight loss then you have to change your whole lifestyle and that often means shedding old friends and limiting the interactions you have with people who aren't on the same time as you.

>>21445635
He's mentally ill dude. I'm honestly convinced that this is just a troll thread at this point.

>>21440908 (OP)
>>21440946
>>21440967
>>21441235
>>21441467
>>21442401
Hey friend, I read this many of your posts to be sure, but I wanted to let you know that you sound like someone best avoided, and the character limit is too short to explain why. The fact that you’re even here writing this to us instead of solving it yourself is a big red flag, and if I saw this kind of womanly bitchiness stemming from a nonissue like this with one of my friends, I would immediately begin to phase them out. This is not me saying “conform n consoom n shut up,” it’s recommending some tact.

>>21445885
>hey friend
>calls other people womanly bitches because they’re sticking to their guns
You are morbidly obese and screeching at a mirror

>>21445953
Really just proving his point.

>>21445965
>pretending that isn’t you
Come on, anon
Also I’m not OP, I’m just here to insult the fatties shrieking at someone demonstrating self restraint

>>21440908 (OP)
>one day of going over tdee will destroy your WEEKLY caloric deficit

You don't work out hard enough. You should massively outworking your food if you're really dedicated to losing weight. Probably doing basic bitch calisthenics done at powerlifter volume. Get a bike or go for a 5k run, fat boy.

>>21442415
>>21445290
oh you're lying

>>21446001
Working out isn't the way to lose weight anyways. I'm not saying not to do it, but you're never going to make up for eating hamburgers, hot dogs, and sides with some treadmill time or lifting unless you get really fucking intense about it. Gotta put down the fork more than anything. Overweight people probably don't have it in them to go for a run or bike any significant distance anyways.

>>21445310
>How'd you lose the weight if you still drank booze and ate fatty foods all the time? Ozempic?

Weightlifting, eating homemade food and calorie counting. It's literally that simple. If I went out with friends and had alot of beers+eating out one evening, I would just eat alot less food in the days before and/or after I went out (maybe once a week).

Eating 3 boiled eggs for breakfast or even skipping breakfast really does wonders for cutting your calories as long as you don't overeat for lunch/dinner. Making food at home 90% of the time also made it easier to count calories. I lost those 25 kg's over 2 years, it was a slow and steady process but I havn't regained that weight now in over 2 years as I was aiming for a lifestyle, not a diet.

>>21446745
Yeah, see, I have a month to lose the weight. I can't lose a lb a week over two years. That's not going to happen. I'm literally aiming to lose 24 lbs in the span of ~60 days. I calorie count.

I don't want to sit around hungry all day so I can appease my host by eating a single plate at his party. Trying to lose a lb almost every two days, one day can mess things up. I'm down 3 more lbs since I posted this thread on Tuesday.

>>21446630
You don't burn calories by doing an hour of intense exercise, you burn calories by doing physical labor all day instead of sitting at a desk

>>21440908 (OP)
So don't go, nigger
>but my presence alone should..
nobody cares, you're either part of the group or gtfo

>>21446887
Too bad I don't have or want a physical labor job that pays pennies compared to an office job in the air conditioning.

>>21446890
> YOU MUST CONFOOOOOOOOOORM!!!!
cope and seethe; going against what one wants in order to please your 'friend' group is cuckold behaviour. If I had a guest inform me of their diet and inability to drink I'd shrug it off nd be fine with it, but then I'm not mentally unwell and arrogant like the majority of you are. You all act like a bunch of whiny women.
Reminder: "Humans are social animals" is the cope of the co-dependent.