Thread 21485512

millennial cooking is based and I’m tired of pretending otherwise.

>>21485512 (OP)
Shut up Fatboy. Back to your goyslop feeding traugh

Signs you're in for a kino soylennial meal:
>"two college dropouts and a dream"
>swearwords in menu items
>"quality ingredients because we give a shit"
>excessively tattooed, heavily bearded staff
>man buns
>burgers start at $20
>something with truffle oil on the menu
>exposed brick
>edison bulbs
> an enormous chalkboard with drawings of marvel characters, my neighbor totoro, pokemon, etc
>faux typewriter fonts
>1,000,000 available local craft beers with colorful Super Mario Elsa Spiderman SpongeBob labels
>the word "cock" in one of the chicken items
>every table has sriracha
>00s dad indie music playing (mgmt, white stripes, decemberists, etc)
>"The OG" (it's just a regular cheeseburger)
>a TV that's connected to some beer nerd app where you can log in and display whatever thrice-hopped pineapple upside-down cake IPA you ordered
>"Anal Andy's All-You-Can-Eat-Out Butthole Burner Buffet XXXXXX So Hot You'll Shit Piss Cum Fart Shit Your Pants (in that order) 5 Quintillion Satan's Hemorrhoids Lava Shart Sauce" at the sauce station
>you're expected to bus your own table
>bathroom sign that says "man, woman, nonbinary, whatever, just wash your hands"
>a poster of a cow and/or pig that has been sectioned and labeled into different cuts of meats
>metal bar height chairs
>"locally sourced, farm to table, ethical, eco-concious"

>>21485512 (OP)
You were PRETENDING?

lol

>>21485555
>traugh
jeet saaarrrr, why do these mleccha not see the superiority of lentils in pureed chickpea sauce over burgers saaaar

>>21485590
lol, you're an incel who never goes outside. You don't get to make fun of anything until you've gotten pussy.

>>21485601
You don't get to make fun of anything until you've gotten pussy that weighs under 200 lbs

>>21485512 (OP)
What is this guy's claim to fame, besides being the Canadian Guy Fieri?

>>21485685
tell your mom to lose some weight then lol

>>21485590
Based

>>21485512 (OP)
>>21485555
>>21485590
>>21485594
>>21485891
Smoke weed everyday

>>21485590
kek

Early 80s millennial here. My millennial meal is:
>salmon rockefeller
>it's just baked salmon with crabmeat spinach dip stuffed into an axe wound with some panko
>bacon beans
>it's just green beans and bacon
>cheesy sprouts
>it's just sprouts with grated hard cheese of some sort and enough black pepper to kill a man

>>21485590
>>00s dad indie music playing (mgmt, white stripes, decemberists, etc)
Oh man that hurts. New music sucks

>>21485590
>every table has srirach
millennials will be eating that sauce until they're in the grave, it's their equivalent of sanka coffee

>>21485590
>>00s dad indie music playing (mgmt, white stripes, decemberists, etc)
No one's bumped decemberists since obama was in office. you should sub in phoenix.

>>21485512 (OP)
>when the goober orders anything over medium rare

>>21485512 (OP)
Got the right temperament, the right culture, everything is right.

>>21485819
gottem lmao

>>21485601
Imagine being triggered by a post targeted at soylennials then using incel as an insult unironically. Oh wait you don't have to imagine.

>>21485601
youre not that guy pal,
youre not that guy.

>>21485590
I look like this and eat like this

>>21485512 (OP)
Millennial cooking and eating habits are objective improvements to the industry and world and zoomers seethe because sincerity is a deadly poison to them and their contribution to the culinary world is enjoying McDonald’s laundry detergent and frozen shit behind 700 layers of irony

Excellent strawman on all of this you fucking gooks. Just go eat some goddamn food and stop seething, if you find the menu pretentious. Go somewhere else, that is what I do. Stop making shit /ck/ bait threads that don't even have menu postings.

>>21485590
I fucking hate how accurate this is

What compels someone to do this?

the "trendy" millenial restaurant look hasn't been fashionable for over a decade, actual trendy places are the legitimate old diners that survived the imitation millenial restaurants.

>sunfaded print of new york skyline, twin towers still there
>hand drawn art from kidspinned on the cashier counter, dusty knick-knacks on top
>regular incandescents, some need replacing
>menu is laminated, breakfast/lunch fusion with whatever ethnicity of the owners
>no music, dirty carpet, dirtier washroom
>mismatched cheap utensils, wooden chairs and benches, no cushions
>no frills, fresh cooked, reasonably priced

these places survive for a reason. money is spent where it matters, on the food and the staff.

>>21488331
Too true for these faggots

>>21488530
>le grimy dirty pest-infested restaurant is actually... LE GOOD
this take is 20 years old
no one wants to go to a sloppy "le comfy hole in the wall" anymore
we want a proper restaurant that's decorated nicely and serves good food

>>21488559
>we want a proper restaurant that's decorated nicely and serves good food
There are plenty of those if you're not a poorfag

>>21485590
The other major Millennial restaurant is
>Asian fusion street food
>this ain't your MOMMA'S Chinese food!
>signature dish was featured in an episode of No Reservations
>will be either a mashup of SEA cuisine or Chinese/Korean/Japanese
>portions are tiny
>starters are like 10$ for 2 pieces of food
>half the menu are different bao buns
>the other half are stir-fried noodle dishes that cost x2 the price of a Chinese takeaway
>your only choice of protein for all main dishes are "satay chicken", pork belly or tofu
>menus have only been available on QR code since 2016
>the restaurant's seating space is 5 tables and 10 chairs, you have to sit next to a huge queue of stinking uber eats drivers screaming at the cashier because they gutted their indoor dining area to make a huge delivery orders counter in 2020

>>21488553
please don't reply to yourself like that.

>>21488473
this guy FUCKS

>>21488331
This. Zoomers are tech illiterate retards.

>>21488473
Powerlifter CHAD

>>21488559
>this take is 20 years old
That's exactly it, genuine kitsch is in. If you want a sterile restaurant experience, go to McDonalds.

Euro style small restaurants are the meta now. Seating is 4-5 small tables if you are lucky. Prices are retarded, everything is "artisanal". At least the food is good.