>Ate entire sleeves of saltine crackers growing up because I didn't know how to make soup

>>21486561 (OP)

you didn't have a mom or dad to make soup for you OP?

>>21486572
She was working

>>21486572
>ate nothing because I had a mom and dad (not OP) and they grounded me after I tried microwaving the can of soup

>>21486576
If I was your parent and I caught you doing something like that I'd have mercilessly, remorselessly beat the ever loving shit out of you and forced you to sleep outside for a week as punishment for being so retarded

>>21486614
Nigger, I was 7 and no one ever told me not to do that

>>21486614
wow so edgee. you wouldn't have lasted a week with parents who really do that type of thing.

>Ate three entire sleeves of saltine crackers while crouching in my underwear because I was tripping balls

>>21486619
not your fault bro, tried to microwave something in a metal pot when i was ~10 bec i didnt know you shouldnt microwave metal
punishing someone for doing something they just didnt know is stupid

>>21486561 (OP)
i remembee hunkering down in the basement with my dog and eating a sleeve of zesto saltines for dinner while my druk parents fought like white devils upstairs. i was 12 or 13. my dog was a corgi border collie mix named fern. i don't recall feeding fern any of the saltines (they were salty and i knew for sure that ham made her tummy upset). op triggers muh white trash cptsd every time he posts this damn picure.

>>21486561 (OP)
I've absent mindedly eaten a sleeve of saltines while stoned and without real snacks
I feel very lucky I didn't get an impaction

>>21486631
Yeah, never did that at 10. The sparks and bright zapping sounds and shit reeaaallly makes you never want to do that again.

My parents didn't actually ground me. But they did chew me out good. It's only because they caught it just in time right after I hit the "start" button.

>>21486561 (OP)
One of my goto "dinners" when i moved out of home was half a sleeve of saltines with peanut butter

there are like weekly threads on this board about ways to produce farts through diet and a sleeve of saltines and all the air you necessarily swallow while eating it is the the best way. im not going to wait for the next farting thread to post this. now is the time.

>>21486614
why waste time pondering incredibly unlikely scenarios, such as fatherhood for yourself?

>>21486561 (OP)
>open fridge
>take out container of food i made yesterday
>reheat
could not be easier

>>21486561 (OP)
I prefer 30 to 40 olives. Might as well get my money's worth on my blood pressure meds

I've always wondered what these are like? From what I can tell, they're similar to Cream Crackers.

>>21486807
oyster crackers, just flattened-out

>>21486839
Dunno what they are either. I'm a dumb bong.

>>21486561 (OP)
I still do this. Saltines are good and it's hard to stop eating them once I stop.

>>21486772
lol

I used to eat a sleeve of saltines with a can of coke on the side. the crackers would be so packed into my cheeks that when I took big gulp of the soda it would all soften and fall away and I'd be primed to pack more in. good thing I stopped the sugar/caffeine addiction.

also used to crush about 1/4 of a sleeve into a coffee mug and pour in Italian chicken drippings from the slow cooker and drink it after my workout.

>>21486807
I'd say they're more like a flakier saltier water biscuit

I regularly consume whole sleeves of crackers with boudin

>>21486619
I set the microwave on fire when I was like 10 because muffins were in a foil wrapper

Me but picrel instead

>>21488011
>boudin
based

>>21486561 (OP)
Man I miss those things now. I really want to go get a sleeve of them and remember the deliciousness... though it could also just be that I'm on hour 21 of a 24-hour fast.

>>21488029
End your fast with some proper protein and and crackers if you please.

>>21488020
extremely based. jalapeno stuffed or garlic stuffed are the best