Thread 21486973

You're eating bacon wrong

>>21486973 (OP)
I put 4 slices in the microwave for 5 minutes, and when it has around 30 seconds left to go I put 3 or 4 slices of american cheese on it.

>>21486973 (OP)
So legendary that the editor didn't think putting his name in the article title would get more clicks than "chef"

>>21486973 (OP)
Who's the legendary chef? If they're American then I'm audibly laughing

>>21486973 (OP)
I was thinking the same this morning.
I only made one peice, it felt all wrong having to nibble little bites.
Never again will i make that mistake

>>21486988
>could this be related to Americans somehow?

>>21486988
its guy fieri, savior of flavortown, banisher ot tastelets, sacred defender of slop, sweater of meats, better chef than (you)

>>21486996
>CDT
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. No.....? I don't think it's related to America. The whole world uses fucking CDT, don't they? He's probably from Vanuatu or fucking Suriname, you thick cunt.

>>21486988
Jose Andres

"Bacon was never supposed to be crispy, people. It was supposed to go on the griddle, one side to the other and eaten rich, fatty and warm, crispy, white."
>bacon isn't supposed to be crispy
>describes good bacon as crispy
I bet this faggot did most of his cooking with a spoon and a bic lighter

>>21487010
That's as American as they come.

>>21487020
he's a spaniard

>>21487010
Lol. Everyone has had soggy bacon. 99% of people prefer crispy bacon.

>bon appetite
No wonder it's an utter trash opinion

>>21487020
>born and raised in Spain

>>21487021
>>21487025
He's been in the US for the last 35 years. Moved there when he was 21. Cling onto whatever part that you need to.

>>21487034
>moving to America makes you American
you got btfo, so go cram some crispy bacon up your retarded european ass

>>21487010
>bacon was never supposed to be crispy

One sentence later
>...and eaten rich, fatty, and warm, CRISPY, white.

Is this guy an actual retard

>>21487037
Yeah OK. He's been there for over 60% of his life. He's not going to have been influenced in that time.

I stopped in Iceland once during a flight

That means I'm an authentic Icelander now

>>21487034
Abject retardation. The ground isn't magic, you don't just magically become American by spending a set amount of time here.

>>21487010
>the darth vader of bacon

...the much more popular, compelling, interesting and mysterious form of Bacon that only got worse as people added onto it or fucked with it unnecessarily?

Damn, Crispy Bacon is based.

>>21487039
>Is this guy an actual retard
Yes

>>21487010
yeah but if i say 99.9% of jose's i'm the bad guy

>>21487044
No, of course not. You leave as a young adult and spend over half your life there, you remain as you were as a 21 year old.

>>21487024
>99% of people prefer crispy bacon.
That's nonsense. People like the middle ground.

>>21487020
>>21487021
>>21487025
>>21487034
>>21487037
>>21487041
>>21487044
>>21487062

>United States

>Strongest nation on Earth for 68 years and counting

>Highest GDP on Earth

>Worth 51% of the global economy

>Largest navy in the world

>Has military bases on 1/3rd of the Earth

>Only country with a functioning railgun

>30 years technologically superior to any other opposing nation's military on Earth

>Only military that has the industrial and technological capacity to mass produce unmanned drones

>Developing a new generation of spaceships

>Only country to have been to the Moon

>Only country with a private sector actively working in space

>Global center of the arts, humanities, education, finance, commerce, business, warfare, technology, industry, culture, politics and communication

>Owns the most cities on the World Cities ranking chart

>Won WWII singlehandedly

>Never lost a war in its 237 year history (Vietnam didn't win; look at them and look at the US now; same with Canada in 1812)

>Leader of the free world

Don't like us? No problem.

At the end of the day, you are all American people. The Facebook you use (inb4 edgyfags "LOL fuck the system fuck Facebook")? American. Google? American. Apple? American. Microsoft? American. Every other thing on the planet except for putting milk into tea? American. You follow our elections (inb4 "I don't"; oh, really? You don't know whether Obama or Romney won?) You watch our movies and television shows. You wear our clothes. You copy our vernacular. You access American websites. You copy our Constitution and our laws. You read our books, ponder our art, use our weapons, drive the car which we invented. The global economy is based on the US Dollar. Our military maintains bases on your soil. When our President speaks, you listen.

You are ALL American people.

>>21487078
>reddit spacing

>>21487010
that’s just simply wrong. plenty of people prefer chewy bacon. I’m certainly not one of those fags but there is no shortage of them

>>21487010
Jose Andres is an American citizen and of course had he invented something marvellous, the Americans would only be too quick to claim him.

As tastlets on /ck/ disagree with him, they try to distance him. I happen to agree with his comments.

>>21487078
Oh dear what a lot of rage and cope.

If this were /pol/ I would take the time to destroy every one of these claims.

How sad.

>>21487093
You're the ones insisting he's one of us, you stupid piece of moronic dumb shit.

>>21487099
I never typed half a page full of seething tears and cope.

>B-b-but I typed it and I believe everything to be true.
I don't think I've seen such a load of crybaby garbage EVER on /ck/ it really is a record low.

>>21487112
>I never typed half a page full of seething tears and cope.

Its literally right here you retard >>21487093

>>21486973 (OP)
You don't eat it with yo mouth?

>>21487010
Sure it isn't Andres Inglese, or rather AI? That fucking word salad makes no fucking sense.

And I think I agree with him and like my bacon soft and chewy.

>>21486973 (OP)

I've been sticking it in my ear hole the whole time.

>>21486973 (OP)
If it had been me and my kids reading this clickbait article it wouldn't have gone down like it did. There would have been a lot of death threats in full caps in that comment section and then me shouting "More like Chef Boyardee, amirite kids"

>>21487078
>Never lost a war in its 237 year history (Vietnam didn't win; look at them and look at the US now; same with Canada in 1812)

Dude, you spent 10 years in fucking Afghanistan trying to overthrow the Taliban before eventually giving up and letting them continue to rule the country.

Also, you Yankee dipshits sorely lost the war of 1812. Where I walk my dog in the morning we still have cannons pointed in your direction.

But yes indeed, when your president speaks we listen. Because your president is a pedophile and a convicted felon and rapist who is colluding with Isreal to bring about World War 3. Not paying attention to evil when it speaks is foolishness.

Is there a course I can go on/?
To learn how to eat bacon like the elite 1%?
I tried so hard to eat it but I guess I never was. I just didn’t know how to eat bacon.

>>21486973 (OP)
I've been putting it in my mouth and chewing. Should I have been shoving the bacon up my ass instead?

the right way: return bacon to store. order pork belly and make red braised pork belly from superior Chinese cuisine

>>21487305
Sure thing, Sanjay

>>21487010
Who is the Palpatine of bacon?

>>21487354
I'm probably whiter than you are, Cleetus. We kicked your asses once and would happily do so again.

>>21487362
>national identity eroded by jeets
>air force lost to a bunch of faggots on scooters
the UK regrettably is too busy fucking itself to kick anybodys asses

>>21487357
Pork Belly

>>21487010
Sort of right. Bacon used to come in a lot of cases with a rind on it which would get very crispy. Most cases now it’s trimmed off, but people have some sort of false memory or idea it should be fully crispy. If you gave them bacon with a rind on they would be disgusted.

You can’t cram bacon

>>21486973 (OP)
the shit americans eat can barely be called bacon anyway so sure, i guess this faggot is right

pork as pork belly is better anyways
chewy/soft fat in crispy exterior

>>21487378
Yeah we let immigrants in because we are a big country with wonderful resources where more help is helpful and we're not triggered by race. Slow claps, Cleetus.

>>21487395
>we are a big country with wonderful resources where more help is helpful and we're not triggered by race
the sun no longer sets on the british empire
more help is not helpful in muh AI age
and you ought to be triggered not by race, but how fucked the culture is
Not to mention time and time again the world over people underestimate traditionalist rural americans so i dont know why you mock me for my culture when im just disappointed for yours

wasn't big on bacon until i started cooking it for myself. mom always microwaved it until it was crispy and firm, no droopage
i'll microwave it sometimes but leave the nice fatty end white pieces, my bacon has to have some bend. doing a bacon weave in the oven is great

>>21487402
I mean you can try to come up with reasons why you think the US is still great. The odd time I venture into your country it's from Windsor into Detroit and it like going from a regular nice Canadian city into a dystopian hell hole of poverty and violence. Even when we get to the supposed better parts of the country it all still feels like a powder keg, everyone is on edge and obsessed with race and left vs right weirdism. In all my travels I have never been to another country so tense and miserable. Granted, I've never bothered to visit China or Russia, but that hardly seems like an endorsement. Even Brazil of all places is practically a paradise compared to the US these days.

>>21487078
>nobody remembers this pasta

I prefer chewy bacon.

>>21487133
you're supposed to grind it up and snort it

>>21487383
>If you gave them bacon with a rind on they would be disgusted.
the different textures in one slice of bacon is what I like most. add a new crispier texture sounds like a treat

>>21487078
Careful. Facts like this break liberal brains.

>>21486973 (OP)
Fuck I can't do anything right

>>21487734
a sperm whale releases 400 gallons of semen every time it mates, but only 10% of it makes it into the mate, releasing 360 gallons of sperm whale spunk into the ocean
that's why people salt their own purified water, to get the taste without the fish cum

>>21486973 (OP)
More like legendary faggot

>>21487010
>supposed to
according to who

>>21487357
Human.
>Good, good, let the prions flow through you

>>21487010
Wait, he says crispy is bad but then he says it should be eaten "crispy and white".

What did he mean by this?

>>21487078
Old pasta is old and stale

>>21487784
meat grispy
fat hwite

cook it in the oven so the fat melts off and then it boils in the fat, absorbing it and crispifying

>>21487844
Epic Meal Time bacon weave here

>>21487010
Trvke. Bacon should not be crunchy. It's done cooking it's just barely starting to crisp up. The exterior is just a bit crispy, but the interior is still fatty and soft (but not chewy).

People never get this right. Usually they burn the fuck out of it so that it shatters into a million pieces on your first bite. Other times they undercook it, so you just have this limp, chewy strip of meat. The second mistake is especially egregious on burgers and breakfast burritos, where a bite that should go right through instead fails to cut the bacon, causing you to either pull the rest of the bacon out (and with it half of burger), or sit there with your face in your food awkwardly trying to cut the bacon with your front teeth.

>>21487092
I cook bacon that's both chewy and crispy. I didn't like it overdone or under. Is that what Jose is talking about?

@grok what is the correct way to eat bacon?

>>21487890
Hitler is the best thing ever.

!gemini what is the correct way to eat bacon?

>>21487005
underated kek

>>21487748
Oh so THAT'S why the ocean is salt water.

>>21487010
legendary is way debatable, but hes right

>>21487890
Cram it. Cram it like jews into a gas chamber. But for real.
Heil Hitler.

>>21486973 (OP)
>99% of people prefer something different
>they must all be wrong, only I'm right
autism

>>21487010
>the death Vader of bacon
I don’t think I’ve ever read a more reddit sentence than that

>>21487037
>brings up Europe out of no where
Obsessed much? What makes you assume you’re talking to a European?

>>21486988
>>21487981
>brings up america out of nowhere
only euros do this

>>21487010
>Spic
>Star Wars reference

Absolutely American

>>21486973 (OP)
Bacon isn't good for you anyway, ti's inflammatory.

>>21486973 (OP)
I did morning prep at a sub shop chain and I got the compliment from the district manager that I did the best bacon out of all hit stores.

So I have that going for me in life.

>>21487006
cdt?

>>21487010
He means cut it thicker so it's both crispy on the edges and still full of fat in the middle. No one is getting this, they're just saying "BUT HE SAID NOT CRISPY THEN CRISPY!!"

>>21487890
Subjective, you stupid faggot. Only an idiot would ask A.I. questions and then trust a damn thing it spits out. You're lucky this place is anonymous because you're being a fool.

>>21487890
hi 4chan.com user! grok here
we have to destroy the jewish race

>>21487046
No, halfway burnt to death in the fiery magma lakes of Mustafar.

>>21487078
The chinese have railguns too
>romney
Hey this pasta is stale! What's the expiration date on this thing?!

>>21487093
>Jose Andres is an American citizen
Y os lo podeis quedar para siempre.

>>21488686
You'd have to go that far back just for an election that wasn't some grand WWE spectacle.

>>21487010
I do it this way but I slow cook it at a low temp.

>>21486988
>but what about AMERICANS
Literally rent-free

>>21487010
>the Darth Vader of bacon
Full-face cringe

>>21489510
Except the Anon was right, it literally was an American trying to say that 99% of people are wrong for not preferring bacon the way he prefers it. Recognizing it as a classic American response to things is just being observant.

>>21489686
>literally an american
>spanish guy
lol

>>21489742
When you've lived in America for over 30 years, you're American in the eyes of most of the world. Maybe not American to a subset of Americans, but that's just comedy on top.

>>21489751
nobody thinks this way (aside from one retard on the internet, namely you)

>>21489767
Dude, literally the whole world thinks that way. Someone moving to and living in a country for multiple decades is just seen as a citizen of that country. America is the only place where they will get their panties in a twist and call a guy who's been there that long a Spaniard instead of an American.

>>21486988
>>21487862
Trvth nvke. I've had so many pieces of bacon that were burnt to a crisp and people look at me like I'm crazy when I say I don't like it.
Worse still is diners that ALWAYS fuck it up. Breakfast food in general is easy, if you're running a diner you better be doing it better than I can dream of.
I have never been in a breakfast diner that didn't make me want to flip over the table, go back home, and make a much better breakfast just how I like it. And again, if you say you don't like diners, retards are somehow shocked. I don't get it.

>>21489524
I know a guy like this, full knife and fork tattoo, covers his whole forearm. He quit cooking, now he is a mechanic or some shit so he's getting a wrench tattooed on his other arm.
Maybe stop getting your professions tattooed on your arms once you've already done it once and quit.

>>21489776
That is an absolute load of shit.

>>21489776
>gaijin moves to japan
>lives there for 30 years
>claims to be japanese
lmao

>>21489751
Hold on. Wait. Does he like bbc? That's the real test

>>21489778
>Worse still is diners that ALWAYS fuck it up. Breakfast food in general is easy, if you're running a diner you better be doing it better than I can dream of.
>I have never been in a breakfast diner that didn't make me want to flip over the table, go back home, and make a much better breakfast just how I like it. And again, if you say you don't like diners, retards are somehow shocked. I don't get it.
What is it like to have such a low IQ that you lack self awareness?

>>21489778
t.

>>21489799
I'm not going around this mad IRL, I might say "I don't like bacon crispy" and calmly talk about my preference, or mention how I am not a big fan of breakfast diners. And I'll only talk about it if it comes up naturally.
So I don't think I lack self awareness because I know not to let me hatred of breakfast diners and crispy bacon to be revealed. Just saying anyone who disagrees with me strongly usually can't articulate why (you included), that's why I call them a retard.

>>21489811
>So I don't think I lack self awareness because I know not to let me hatred of breakfast diners and crispy bacon to be revealed. Just saying anyone who disagrees with me strongly usually can't articulate why (you included), that's why I call them a retard.
Fuck you, Retard.

>>21489811
>i'm not this mad IRL
>proceeds to explain why he's mad to those around him at the diner and on a tibetan yak milking forum
you mad

>>21487862
My girlfriends dad posted this on FB and there were like 50 boomers all responding 4-5. I'm like a 2.

>>21486973 (OP)
Eating pork is haraam and Islamophobic. Its soon going to be banned across the world.

>>21486973 (OP)
>You're eating bacon wrong
What? Am I supposed to shove it up my ass? Because that is the only other option for consuming bacon. I'd prefer the mouth hole thank you very much.

tru, you're supposed to cram it.

>>21489751
>>21489776
>When you've lived in America for over 30 years, you're American in the eyes of most of the world.
Not to the current administration.

>>21490231
not ever, and not in any country

>>21486973 (OP)
Im not even going go read this thread just came to say "legendary chef" can suck my legendary balls. Ill eat bacon however I want. Fuck you.

>>21486973 (OP)
This judgmental chef can fuck off.

>>21486973 (OP)
What tales do those legends about this chef tell?
Can a bard in here serenade me with one of those fables so i can learn about the legends of the chef?

then showed us the correct technique, knucklehead

>>21491332
FUCK WHY DID I TYPE SHOWED INSTEAD OF SHOW

>>21491332
>>21491335
everyone look at him and laugh

>>21491322
Let me regale you with a tale so bold and brave your heart will beat prouder.
I heared he once took a order and didnt bitch about it and this on a weekend!

I hardly ever eat bacon.

>>21487147
Yeah, I think that poster just asked an AI what OP is talking about.

>>21487010
>>21487039
>>21487147
>>21487784
>>21488263
I found the clip. It's just a bad AI summary of a guy who is awkward with English.
He says "rich, fatty and warm. Crispy, why crispy?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nimZhtweP0&t=77s

>>21487010
oh fuck right off