Thread 149261079

I'm working on an Indie pilot, would /co/ kindly tell me what you think of it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS0JzgF0BRc

>>149261079 (OP)
I'll be frank with you, chief. I wanna fuck this Vampire. Also why is she voiced by a dude?

>>149261079 (OP)
Been following you for a few months, love your shit. Also want to fuck the vampire's mouth.

>>149261140
Yea, I had trouble finding a female voice to match what Eris sounded like in my head, so I tried doing an impersonation of her for reference and was told it was funnier if I did the voice.

>>149261187
thanks bro! People like you make it all worth it

>>149261079 (OP)
fancy seein you here! been a while since hyw
This is just as funny as it was before, I could totally see you getting picked up on AS or something. Like, treated like shit, given about 500 bucks, and canceled after 6 of the 13 eleven-minute episodes, but still. picked up.
>>149261204
I've always wondered if I could Hyadain my way through pitching myself up for female characters if I ever finally got into animation, and now we just kinda have AI voice changers so it's not needed. but until it does the animation for me too, i dunno. i'm so tiiiiired.

I like the one where she stabs her tit
https://youtu.be/Ef9zh2L3ju4

>>149261252
>>149261282
thanks!

>>149261252
hey, start small with a comic strip and work your way into flash!

>>149261343
heh, could not have started smaller.. god, it's weird thinking that was 23 years ago. God I'm old.
I did have plans for flash animation back then, too. Had friends audition.. ahh the silly things we do in our teens.

>>149261430
hey, I'm 35, so don't feel too old. Maybe its time to pick the pen back up?

>>149261548
soon, I think. maybe inside of a year. I'm proving to myself that other projects (porn) can be done, but an ongoing webcomic is harder. I gotta commit, I can't go on huge long breaks like SOME people do.

>>149261140
She should keep that voice and be like Dr Girlfriend

>>149261079 (OP)
So the red head is a werewolf? Or the female equivalent?

>>149261204
Bro just get your sister back on board

>>149261612
wyfwolf
also huh, you may just be right.
>>149261618
she's already voicing one of the other girls, right?

>>149261079 (OP)
the animations probably the worst part, i think it would be worth your time to improve it to the point where its at least visually appealing. in the age of indie animations you want your shit to stand out visually and i cant see this taking off with its current visuals
other than that i didnt find it particularly funny. not painfully unfunny but nothing that solicited a laugh. very dry, and i consider myself someone that enjoys dry humor. it almost feels like a temp script. i like the premise (or what i presume the premise is based on the clip) but the execution feels so low energy and for lack of a better term amateur

>>149261575
link me your stuff?
>>149261612
She's a Nephelim, a daughter of the false god Odin, who himself is a fallen angel. After finding out her father is fake she rebels and pledges herself to the one true god, is cast out of Asgard and reborn into a human body. She doesn't know this yet though.

>>149261618
>>149261651
nah, my sister has no interest in it. The other voices are friends of mine

>>149261674
you've seen it ;) i don't think i ever had you on discord but we did used to talk 'roun here. or at least youtube, maybe i linked you on youtube

>a nephil
whoa. nephilim is plural btw
>daughter of Odin, who's a demon
holy hell that's some fun canon welding. Fun! Surprised you just gave that away over here.
>friends
oh okay. that's LIKE a sister, except I have a sister.

>>149261664
hello satan, how's the brimstone and sulfur today?

>>149261724
kairuhakubi? lolonaco?

>>149261760
got it in one ;D
though I only use that on things when ColdFusion is taken

>>149261768
dude add me on discord, i'm romanpen

Buy an ad, cuntnugget.
Everyone else, report him en masse for violating Global Rule 11.
https://sys.4chan.org/co/imgboard.php?mode=report&no=149261079

>>149261872
not OP
kill yourself
your kind should die

>>149261872
I take it the fires are hot this time of year?

>>149261664
Did anyone ever find the model for this?
It was in one of the TF2 Halloween Emporiums but it never actually got released iirc?

lewds when?

>>149261079 (OP)
It's obviously rough but I'll be honest, it caught me in just 3 minutes. There's real potential here

>>149264084
This guy's great. he's fuckin out there.

>>149261079 (OP)
Pretty decent. I really like the dentist scene/thumbnail because it reminds me of the Mission Hill scene where Andy gets his tooth fixed. Were you inspired by that scene?

>>149261079 (OP)
It is good, OP. Animation is abit clunky but the humour works and the plot seems intriguing enough. I will take it

>>149261079 (OP)
You nailed that soulless adult comedy art style that every show has, not sure why you would want that but you did it

>>149261079 (OP)
too much exposition and the 3 minutes isnt doing you any favors. nothing substantial to get me invested and kinda reads like a cheap dime store mystery novels. but certain people like that so go at it i guess

>>149261079 (OP)
I have to go to bed but I'll watch it tomorrow and let you know. I think I saw this posted earlier and there was a scene where the chick spanks a monkey? Loved it

>>149261079 (OP)
Never give up your dreams.
Though this is more a teaser than an intro

>>149261079 (OP)
Anything for the "dead chigger" guy!

thanks to everyone!, I'd say more but the system thinks my posting is spam?

>>149261079 (OP)
The delivery on the jokes could use a little work, but dang anon good job keep it up and thanks for sharing

>>149261079 (OP)
looks bad

>>149264355
Keep in mind that until this point, there was zero explanation for what was going on. just a bunch of comics and maybe a dozen videos where these three random girls live together
>>149264327
Grimsburg has taught me that it's less the art style that matters, and more the animation. You can do a lot with a little, i dunno.

>in b4 ohh you're white knighting
Just how I'd want others to do to me. Sometimes supporters get browbeaten into silence

>>149261140
>>149261204
Dr Girlfriend hahahaha

>>149262789
https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/romanpen/eris-ad-alley-new-years-2018-2019. The only lewd I've ever done of eris

>>149261079 (OP)
i like the humor, with the other shorts it all feels very adult swim
not sure how leaning into lore as a hook will play out. i kinda liked the shorts all as zany little one-off skits about living with a vampire
the
the animation is weak in parts, but i chalk that up to no budget
the monkey's size seems a bit inconsistent and that really sets off my tism
also gradient coloring like on the establishing shot of the CIA building screams early flash. you could probably get away with it subtly, but used heavily makes the drawing look amateurish

>>149261548
>Hey Beavis, check it out, uhuhuhuh
>What, hehehem?
>she's spanking her monkey, uhuhhuhuhuhuh
>Ohh yeah, Heheheheh, hehemehe

>>149261079 (OP)
The hell? Usually when people shill things on /co/ it's artsy dogshit, but this is actually not half bad.

>>149270123
This fucker does not feel like he's working in 2025, that's for damn sure.

>>149261079 (OP)
Pretty fast paced which is good.

>>149269227
booba

>>149271112
silly booba, the best kind
let pudgy girl join in, all puppies should be out

necrobump

>>149261079 (OP)
wish I could throw a few bucks your way.

>>149261079 (OP)
Going to be honest. Looks like early 2000s Newgrounds art and animation and main joke is nearly identical to an old Simpsons joke. That isn't necessarily a bad thing though, just will probably need to polish it up if you actually want to pitch it to someone.

Don't stop trying. I am just giving my 2 cents for whatever it is worth from a rando on the internets perspective. You are doing a million times better than anyone else just by working on it, make content, and having the balls to be putting it out there for the world to see. But as an actual pilot it probably isn't up to snuff, YET! Keep working on it and I am sure you will make it. Hopefully you are smoozing with someone in the field. To be fair, that's like 9/10s of how you make it.

Also keep in mind, the coomers on /co/ aren't going to give real feedback.

>>149272697
i Just added a link to my patreon in the youtube description of the video,

>>149270123
>>149271044
>>149272755
thanks!

>>149261079 (OP)
its cool

>>149261079 (OP)
i could see my self crashing on the couch and watching this late into the night no problem, similar to how i'd enjoy something like the critic or beavis & butthead. i consider that a compliment.

I think you should fuck around with the camera a bit, when you move it or zoom in or out sometimes it makes it look like there are more things going on

>>149275078
not that guy but that's good advice.. it's cheap as hell, don't have to redraw shit.

>>149273688
cool coomerbait kiddo