>My son, did I ever tell you about Tamaraneans? They are an exotic alien race in the Vega system, a fine piece of feline-evolved pussy from a kinkier age. They have the tightest bodies and the most teardrop perfect breasts in the galaxy; barely covered at any time. The Psions and I used to doubleteam them at the end of every successful scientific investigation during Krypton’s Fourth Age, and once in a while we’d even have the entire Science Council run a train over them, part of official investigation of course. In time, they learned their place in the Fortress of Bonitude. When they wore something they put on tiny strips of metal, and since they were constantly flying you’d get a glimpse of their orange pussies mid air. It was surreal. We taught them to grip their weapons like a dildo and they constantly get captured by the Gordanians and the Citadel almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Kal-El, you have no idea. That’s why I have sent you, my only son, to bone them.

>>149393695 (OP)
>And they were good friends

>>149393695 (OP)
You mean the Troqs?

>>149393695 (OP)
>Fortress of Bonitude
My fucking sides. Well done, OP.

>>149393695 (OP)
You're meming but unironically now I actually am kinda curious was a Tamaranean raised Superman would be like because it actually would make sense to send him there in canons where Jor-El knew about the yellow sun thing to send him to a race with a similar powerset.

>>149393695 (OP)
I mean, that whole planet is a constant porno with a princess like Starfire

>>149393695 (OP)
gotta admit, the harem part did throw me off

>>149393808
It's an old post
I just made the connection with the reveal in the new movie

>>149393695 (OP)
>CRUSH THE EARTHLINGS
>SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU
>AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THIER WOMEN

>>149393695 (OP)
I’m impressed by how comic-accurate this is.

Was Zor-El in on the plan?
Did he send Kara to have children too? Or to be part of the harem?

Give me one airtight argument against the Super Harem. You can't.

>>149393695 (OP)
>superman will never breed you
Why live?

>>149394134
>let's send our last remaining male to restart our advanced civilization that invariably always misses out on the fact that its entire goddamn planet is going to explode until it's too late
>also they never figured out that simply moving to the vicinity of a different type of star made them all into living, breathing gods capable of quite literally punching reality itself until it breaks, because reasons
To quote Cavill's Supes: KRYPTON HAD IT'S CHANCE

>>149394264
>krypton had it is chance
>what?

>>149393695 (OP)
they don't like white guys.

What about Crypto, the super currency?

>>149394134
It's unrealistic when Batman exists.

>>149393695 (OP)
>>149393749

>>149393695 (OP)
Nice

>>149393807
DON'T USE THAT WORD!

>>149394264
>>149394293
Wasn't the most current version of the backstory that Brainiac was in charge of most of Kryptons computers and shit and straight up hid the imminent explosion from the population?

Also, my headcanon was that Krypton was so advanced that they barely used actual ship anymore and just teleported/phase jumped to other planets, so having an actualy rocketship would be like someone having a horse-pulled wagon in an era when people had cars or something.

>>149394959
>Brainiac
That was just the DCAU version. Comics Brainiac is another type of alien who went around bottling cities (including Supergirl's hometown of Kandor) using his super advanced tech. Remains to be seen if he's invovled with Krypton in this version however

>>149393858
They're more like He-Man's planet where everyone is a sword swinging ripped barbarian or hot combat fight bitch wearing skimpy armor pieces for all their clothing. and they fuck a lot as standard greetings.

they also get into fights with the Thanagarians pretty often.

>>149395060
Supergirl's from Argo city!

>>149394894
DON’T BURN DOWN MY HOUSE, CROPS, AND WIFE YOU FUCKING TROQ!

>>149395082
The Thanagarians get in fights with everyone

>>149394293
>On my world, the apostrophe is silent

>>149395140
>did you know that despite only making up 13% of the universal population.....

>>149394959
That's DCAU. Comics Krypton has had several reasons as to why none of them ever left.
>Attempts to settle/conquer other planets left them worse off when different suns fucked them up (i.e. the Daxamites who die to lead), so they give up and stay put
>The Green Lantern Guardians know that if they reach the right kind of sun, they'll become an even bigger headache than they were, so they make sure no Kryptonian ever leaves their system
>Over time, Krypton gets so arrogant and full of themselves that they assume their glorious planet will live forever and forbid anybody from ever leaving it

>>149395370
Don't forget the Eradicator making them unable to live outside Krypton

>>149395937
Also true. The reason's been shifted so many times that I get why the DCAU just stuck with Brainiac going HAL on its creators to keep it simple.

>>149396298
If I remember correctly, back in the Silver Age the reason was that Krypton had forbidden space travel after Jax-Ur blew up a moon

>>149395343
This is really an everyone else problem for being uncivilized ka’kash.

>>149394118
She was going to guard the harem.

>>149396480
Shut your goddamn Troq mouth, bitch! Beta Reticuli was a nice, quiet solar system until you fuckers showed up

>>149393695 (OP)
Give me the son of Krypton.

>>149395937
Byrne era Krypton was honestly the best. Early on, they had a hedonistic society based on a healthcare system consisting of billions of fully grown clones to use as organ transplants. Retard liberals started saying that clones have rights too, and they made a thousand year long civil war out of that turned the planet to a wasteland. Once the war was over, they looked at new ways to make sure they live long, and came up with bodysuits that cover them from head to toe and extend their lives to millennia. Problem was that the suits never came off, and this led to their society growing extremely distant, basic human contact was seen as taboo, and babies were grown out of test tubes in artificial wombs. Population numbers were also fixed, so new births only happened when someone died in an accident once a century.

Problem was that during the civil war, a terrorist group nuked the planets core. The radioactivity spread to the surface, creating kryptonite poisoning (they called it "the green plague"). Eventually the pressure inside the planet grew so much the planet exploded.

Most of the planet did not reach escape velocity though, and reformed as a gas/rubble giant. Superman went to visit it once and had a delirious dream about what would've happened if the entire planets populace could be rescued to Earth. They ended up slaving the planet and Jor-El started a freedom fight, with the last kryptonian being Lara of Metropolis (New Kandor), and their young child, Kal-El. It was one of the trippiest and most memorable stories I've read, and the cherry on top was that it was drawn by Mike Mignola.

>>149393695 (OP)
Gunn should have cast Gaga for the lols

>>149393695 (OP)
how do you even speak in triangles and circles?

>>149399306
You tell me, Anglofag

>>149399306
How do you speak in lines and curls and dots

Who would be in Superman's harem?
>Lois Lane
>Lana Lang
>Diana
>Livewire
>Maxima

>>149399468
Probably faster to say who isn't
Where's the trainer game

>>149397594
>Troq
Kill yourself, 2003 faggot

>>149399468
>supes beds this every night

>>149399468
Kara to create a pure new Krypton royal bloodline

>>149399468
SIlver Banshee

>>149400346
She's for Jimmy

>>149393695 (OP)
>My son, I sent you to planet Earth so that you conquer it and make harem of their people but stay away of those ebony women! I don't want you to suffered from jungle fever and have harem of ebony women...
Is it really for Gunn take advice from Raimi?

>>149393695 (OP)
I think DC fucked up. They evolved the Tamaraneans too much. They're just orange-skinned white people with green eyes. If they looked more like Caitians, you know, showing their feline heritage...