>Be a staggering, habitual fuckup
>The living manifestation of clumsy
>Still have a son
>Bang your neighbors wife
>Smash the hot college librarian
How does he do it and why aren't Mickey and Donald taking notes?

Ugly bastard energy but without Pete's morbid obesity and micro pp

>>149405974 (OP)

>>149405974 (OP)
Self-confidence is the universal sex appeal multiplier

>>149405974 (OP)
The first step is being confident, the second step is being interesting, the third is to realise everyone is interesting you just have to know how to say
It, the fourth and most important is to practice talking to women.

Go to speed dating events, talk to girls on the street, in bars, in public spaces, in transit. Just learn how to get good at striking up conversations and carry them.

Rizz is just a skill. Like any other skill you need to practice it.

>>149405974 (OP)
Mickey doesn't need to take notes, he's got the hottest piece of ass in town. Donald doesn't dare, because Daisy'd likely murder him.

>>149405974 (OP)
Minnie and Mickey just wants to be friends with each other, while Daisy ditches Donald for other ducks the moment his failures give her any excuse to. Goofy knows what he wants and goes for it.

>>149406032
YOU'RE IN FOR IT NOW, GOOFER'

>>149406077
>>149406129
Let's not forget that the Goof is also kind, polite, respectful, positive and adventurous. He has a lot of qualities that are overshadowed by his clumsiness.

>>149405974 (OP)
So what's your excuse, OP?

>>149406144
Plus he can dance

>>149405974 (OP)
pity sex.

>>149406180
Hell yeah, he can.

I have to wonder how successful you might be if you just used Goofy as a rulebook for how to handle women.

>>149405974 (OP)
>Confident
>Funny
>Apparently handsome in-universe
>Tall
>Fucking tons of interests and hobbies
>Charismatic
>Extremely determined, think about how many shorts are about Goofy initially fucking up but refusing to give up
>Genuinely well-meaning, there's not a single thing any woman has to worry about with the Goofster
Goofy's a fucking hyperchad. The only question is how he manages to walk five feet without tripping over women.

>>149406129
doesn't work if you are ugly and a manlet.

>>149406888
>The only question is how he manages to walk five feet without tripping over women.

Very, very, very carefully.

>>149405974 (OP)
Yes, we all know that Goofy fucks hard, he fucks loud, and he fucks often.

Single fathers make women wet as fuck for some reason.

>>149406913
No one has a perfect hand and this mentality is guarenteed to keep you miserable and alone forever. So its really your choice

>>149406913
As much as I hate passport bros, your only real option might be to go somewhere where the majority of men are ugly manlets

>>149405974 (OP)
>Bang your neighbors wife
That didn't happen.

>>149408443
I'm so sorry, Pete.

>>149408443
Pete, YOU encouraged him!

>>149405974 (OP)
Mickey and Donald have girlfriendwives

>>149405974 (OP)
Mickey and Donald are manlets
They had no shot

>Goofy has Max
>Donald has the triplets

It's kind of interesting that Mickey has never been given a child/offspring character.

>>149410637
Minnie is barren

>>149410637
>triplets
Technically not his kids, but I get your sentiment. Also if you wanna stay technical, they gave Mickey/Minnie kids for the Christmas Carol adaptation they did where Mickey was Bob Cratchet

>>149410637
He has though, I think only the European comics even casually acknowledge them at this point.

>>149405974 (OP)
Anyone else slightly bothered by that recent Goofy Movie anniversary doc deliberately ignoring the direct-to-VHS sequel?

On a related note, what sound(s) do you reckon Goofy makes when he climaxes?

>>149412543
He gawrshes.

>>149412543
Nah, it's clear they just wanted to treat it as a documentary on that movie alone. The sequel is fun but it didn't really have an impact on people the same way the original did.

>>149405974 (OP)
Donald has terrible temper and can be extremely destructive be it because of his fuck ups, his anger or extreme bad luck. He also tends to get lazy when not roped into some slave labor job forced onto him by his shit uncle or working in one of his many many jobs that he'll loose anyway.
To be fair Donald did had some luck with ladies and even unwittingly rizzed Magica. (Which he should totally hook up with for good).
Problem is Daisy is his status quo, his shitty cheating selfish whore of a fiancee, and no matter what he never will be free of that parasite that he shares 0 interests with.
Mickey is whatever so who cares, besides Minnie is pretty ok.

>>149408443

Didn't it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni1RPc5OU2c

>>149410637
Triplets are Donald's naphews.
Mickey also has two of his own naphews. Only Goofy has actual son. I recall I saw some art of Mickey's sister and she was way more humanoid and super tall compared to her brother.
I don't think Della ever showed up in any euro comic as adult that interacted with her kids, her husband is also a complere mystery.

>>149412869
>Which he should totally hook up with for good
Finally someone else recognizes the superior ship.

>>149405974 (OP)
before social media, It was ridiculously easy to get laid.

>>149412904
I know swingers, I've fucked swingers.

Pete and Peg are the fuckin archetypical swingers.

>>149413142
nothing has fucked people fucking more than social media and dating apps, its kinda hilarious how backwards it is.

turns out instilling decision/option paralysis in women completely fries their brains.

>>149413318
its always the same, sexually open and interested husband, and hyper sexual 40 something wife.

that combo will always result in swinging or hotwifing or w/e, some women when they hit 38 just have an explosion sexual desire that turns them from normal housewives into straight up porn sluts.

>>149412543
https://youtu.be/MUL5w91dzbo?si=507GCdkpOGTK0lap
Duh.

>>149405974 (OP)
He's got nothing on my boy Kronk https://youtu.be/UfMRxt3-LF4

>>149406888
Women don't care about most of these IRL.

>>149412869
Theater shorts Donald and comics Donald are very different. Comics Donald is a petty little ragetard much less often and generally has to be provoked to get to that level.

Irresistable.

>>149410637
Mickey has his twin nephews tho

>>149405974 (OP)
Because he's proven himself. An ex-wife totally out of the picture is super convenient granted we don't know if Goofy is divorced, widowed or was just a single father from day one.

>>149405974 (OP)
They let him hit because he is goofy

>>149408443
>>149409666
>>149409686
>>149412904
>>149412550
https://e621.net/posts/4734332

>tall
>funny
>devoted and loving father
why wouldn't he be a catch to the right kind of woman?

>>149415362
>clicked on it again

>>149414854
I've had more women fall for me than I can count just by being confident, funny, and unashamedly focused on my own interests. I'm not even that good looking.

>>149412869
I actually really liked the more recent depictions of Daisy with Donald. In the demented-ass Mickey shorts we got blessed with she matched his freak and they were the exact same breed of petty lazy shittalker, perfect for each other. And in the Ducktales reboot Daisy just naturally got Donald when nobody else seemed to, while he supported and was amazed by her skills.

>>149415497
>.I've had more women fall for me than I can count just by being confident, funny, and unashamedly focused on my own interests. I'm not even that good looking.

Thanks, r/maledatingadvice!

You gotta admit he's forward, honest and a bit charming.

Goofy's always trippin' on his 8 inch dick.

>>149406129
>rizz
Kill yourself as early as possible.

>>149406888
"Hiiiii, Mister Goofy!"