Thread 149437871

I work at the Daily Bugle and I’m convinced my colleague is actually Superman, I even edited out sunglasses he wear in his employee photo and he straight up looks EXACTLY like Superman.

I showed this undeniable PROOF to my colleagues, boss, and even the police, but every single one of them LAUGHED AT ME. Well, except for the cops, they threatened to jail me if I keep visiting them everyday to wave this “silly” photo in their face.

I’m SICK of this shit! Why doesn’t anyone take me seriously?! I LITERALLY EDITED PROOF FOR IT!

>>149437871 (OP)
Anon, I think you just want to fuck your coworker

>>149437871 (OP)
>sunglasses
Those are regular glasses you idiot.

>>149437871 (OP)
>Bugle
ah fuck, I’m hardwired to say that since I’m a Marvelfaf. I meant Daily Planet.

>>149437871 (OP)
Sounds like you should take your meds. Let me guess, the flash is some random faggot on the street and batman has sex with a furry.

>>149437871 (OP)
I just don't see it.

>>149437948
I dunno about Batman but BRUCE WAYNE ACTUALLY CAME! HERE! TO METROPOLIS!

I mean, it’s not strange, he owns tons of businesses here, and half the city council is in his pocket, but whatever. The rich playboy came to chat with my coworker SPECIFICALLY, not our boss nor the ceo of the conglomerate that owns Daily Planet. That is literally proof that Bruce Wayne is FUNDING Superman and ALSO making sure we don’t say anything bad about him!
>>149437981
because you don’t want to open your EYES!
look, he has the exact same features! like, his hair is black, and he’s clean shaven!

>>149438034
Haven't we seen Clark Kent and Superman standing side by side?
Or are you going to pretend its something stupid, like Batman protecting Supermans supposed secret identity?
Are we supposed to believe that Batman dressed up as Superman, or as Clark Kent in that scenario? They both have their faces revealed!

Maybe if you told me Bruce Wayne was pretending to be Batman pretending to be Clark Kent. As if that would ever happen!

big fucking whoop, my uncle looks like Green Lantern but I've never see the fucker fight anyone in his whole life.

>>149438034
Wait, you're saying millionaire business man Bruce Wayne dresses as a bat to fight crime? Are you high?
Lmao, get better bait.

>>149437871 (OP)
Meds. Now.

>>149437871 (OP)
Uh...
SINCE WHEN SUPERMAN WAS A N?

>>149437871 (OP)
Lex Luthor, the smartest man in the world, was interviewed by Clark Kent.
They sat across from each other for hours talking to each other.

You're telling me that Lex Luthor could talk to Clark for hours, probably catch his full face while cleaning his glasses or something, and somehow he missed Superman disguised in front of him but YOU cracked this case?

>>149438183
yes, because if Lex can’t see it, I’m literally smarter than him.

AI generative photo to smear your coworker in petty inter-office drama, you're getting reported to your HR department as soon as someone figures out who you are from your linkedin.

>>149438126
no, I never said that, only schizos would think a pussy like bruce wayne is batman. I think he, at most, funds the superheroes or something.
I heard he always runs away whenever a bad guy like joker or penguin raids his charity fundraisers lmao, fucking coward loser.

>>149437871 (OP)
>I showed everyone a photo I EDITED
>Why does nobody believe me?
Lex Luthor is not sending his best

>>149437871 (OP)
Obviously a AI deep fake

>>149437871 (OP)
1) Those are regular glasses.
2) Stop being a creepy schizo anon.

Uh huh. Next you're gonna say Batman is really that millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne.

>>149438034
>half the city council is in his pocket, but whatever. The rich playboy came to chat with my coworker SPECIFICALLY,
You realize rich people like to get ahead of stories. Also maybe he had appointment. Sounds like you're just jealous and a shit worker.

>>149437871 (OP)
>edited proof

yeah no shit retard if you photoshop someone to look like superman he'll look like superman. fucking twat. you should be fired for lack of journalistic integrity. jameson ought to kick your ass.

>>149437871 (OP)
>Daily Bugle
are you saying that Peter Parker is Superman?

>>149437912
No anon it's actually funnier if you say the Bugle

>>149438326
/pol/ is >that way, Boco

>>149437871 (OP)
I have a better chance at getting Wonder Woman's phone number than this being real.

>>149437871 (OP)
OP you're retarded. Clark Kent doesn't have curly hair in front

>>149437871 (OP)
... dude, you need to take a step back from this. You are literally flirting with HR right now.

>>149437871 (OP)
without the glasses he looks like the flying brutal kansas rapist, it was on the news like 10 years ago

why the fuck would superman work at a fucking news paper.

>>149437871 (OP)
Listen OP, I know Clark Kent for a long time and he is not Superman. Clark Kent is good American man from Smallville with good conservative value unlike that that dirty illegal alien Superman who wants to enslaved us and rape our women!

Nahhh, you're crazy man.
Anyway, Lois Lane is pure sex. I would rock that chick so hard.

>>149437871 (OP)
If you're so sure of it then try to rape Clark. If he's really Superman he won't let you.

>>149437871 (OP)
Nice schizo thread. I've seen Clark before, and he carries himself entirely differently from Supes

>>149437871 (OP)
i also work at the daily bugle and i want to sniff lois lane's shoes

thank you for reading

>>149440418
Because rape is a crime and rule or not, OP is gonna his ass destroyed by superman.

>>149437871 (OP)
They both just look like some white guy.

>>149438326
Well obviously that's true. How else can batman afford all that shit. Plus notice how Bruce has all those young boys and teens but wasn't on the epstein files. Yep, they're all those robins.

>>149440886
No one man was ever Batman. That's impossible and there are legends of mysterious bat-like figures going back to the founding of Gotham, so don't try and pin it on one dude, Your friend, your wife, your neighbor - they could ALL be Batman. THIS is the New World Order!

>>149437871 (OP)
Take a picture of his butt and see if it matches

>>149437871 (OP)
Bruce Wayne is Superman?

>>149437871 (OP)
Superman parts his hair to the left. The other guy parts it to the right. Bet you feel dumb now.

>>149437871 (OP)
How can that be Superman? That's just Clark Kent with and without glasses.

listen man I work at Daily Planet too and all I'm gonna say is I wanna bury myself in Cat Grant titties

>>149437871 (OP)
This again?

Not again, we just had a ban evading schizo who claimed Batman is Bruce Wayne, fuck off

>>149442166
HE IS BATMAN NOBODY EVER FUCKING BELIEVES ME

>>149442176
That's absurd! I know Bruce Wayne. If he's Batman, I'm the King of England!

>>149437871 (OP)
Well, my fucking leg is broken rn. I fell out of a bucket trunk 2 days ago, right outside where you work. If Superman was in there, why didn't he swoop down and catch me? I'm like 90% sure I shouted "FUCK I'M FALLING" before I hit the pavement.

What a fucking bullshit, I met Clark once. He got so spastic looking for telephone booth in this day and age. You gonna tell me that neurotic dude is the Superman? Keep trying retard.

>>149437871 (OP)
Well OP the truth is I'm actually Superman in disguise, I just pretend that I'm a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen and then squeeze you out of the byline.

>>149437871 (OP)
>I NEED PICTURES! PICTURES OF SUPERMAN!

>>149443005
Clark you're not fooling anyone, if you think this lying will get Lois to like you then you're stupid

Guys... I think OP might be on to something. I was heading home, walking to the elevator, and Clark was walking towards me. Before we could pass each other, I tripped and almost fell, so I grabbed onto Clark's shirt to stop myself, and I ripped his shirt, revealing THIS.

>>149437871 (OP)
Why would Superman have a day job? That's just stupid.

>>149440959
>schizo from the gotham threads on /x/

>>149437871 (OP)
why would superman have a shitty job or try to mingle with people when he's pretty much a god? are you stupid? get the fuck outta here.

Yeah I’m sure the alien god who lives at the north pole has a part time job as a fucking newspaper writer

>>149437871 (OP)
>I work at the Daily Bugle and I’m convinced my colleague is actually Superman
Peter Parker pls. You’re just jealous Clark Kent is a real journalist and you’re just a photographer. Of course you’re feeling threatened since the Bugle poached him from the Planet.

>>149438326
Who the hell’s Bruce Wayne?

>>149443050
Maybe the "S" isn't for Superman. The "S" could be for shirt.

>>149438034
>Black Hair
>Clean Shaven

Holy Barnackles, half my co-workers are Superman! You're right Anon this is a infection!

>>149440886
Oliver Queen can be Batman with that logic as well same with Lex Luthor

>>149443273
Dammit Hal…

>>149437871 (OP)
You take photos of your coworkers and edit them at home? That's weird OP. Pic related is Superman and he looks nothing like your photo. You need to get your eyes checked, and reflect on some of the decisions you made. It's a wonder your boss didn't fire you for this, you should probably apologize to Clark.

>>149437871 (OP)
Schizo

>>149437871 (OP)
Is this the Superman?

>>149437871 (OP)
>Daily Bugle
Eddie Brock stop. People will notice that you less reporter than Peter, have some decency alright. Jeesh.

>>149438084
>Haven't we seen Clark Kent and Superman standing side by side?
We haven't seen Superman standing next to most of the world. Why pin it to Kent.
And who cares? Not that he's an actual human among us. I hate that TMZ attitude.
>Batman
No shit. So Clark Kent is Batman?
>implying the police doesn't know
>Bruce Wayne
>famous rich guy with a lot of enemies
Take your meds

The Bugle is a rag. That Jameson is little more than a tabloid vulture. I mean that Spider guy he saves his city a thousand times a week and what's that blowhard do? Throws him under every bus for quick sales. It's deplorable the way he treats people. OLSEN, WHERE'S MY COFFEE!

>>149442125
came into the thread to post this, good to know /co/ still shows some small hint of quality posting.

>>149445547
>You take photos of your coworkers and edit them at home?

Dude is a photographer with 2 jobs: 1: take photos of superman, and 2: bring coffee to Perry, while doing so passing by Clark's desk several times a day. At that point it's just putting 2+2 together - same way how Mysterio figured out Spidey's identity, that of Mary Jane Watsons husband.

There's AT LEAST one continuity I remember where Jimmy specifically figured out Supermans identity on his own (he also states "which bored photographer didn't drew glasses on the faces on his photos"), and I don't even read or watch DC a lot.

>>149440886
Better luck next time, everyone knows that, Lex Luthor is a Batman. Why whould any billioner live in Gotham.

>>149437871 (OP)
>Well, except for the cops, they threatened to jail me if I keep visiting them everyday to wave this “silly” photo in their face.
They should to be honest

>>149437871 (OP)
I believe you anon. You have to be careful though. They'll try to silence you. Get rid of any floride toothpaste and the plastic tips from the end of your shoelaces before it's too late.

>>149437871 (OP)
>implying Superman would be fine with looking like a simple mortal

was this post made by that fucking freelancer Peter Parker? who else at the Bugle is moronic enough to spend camera film photographing coworkers and then spending even more time and effort on editing it, when he should be out there and COLLECTING PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN LIKE I TOLD HIM TO!

>>149437871 (OP)
>I’m convinced my colleague is actually Superman

>>149438252
>only schizos would think a pussy like Bruce Wayne is batman
Excuse me?

>>149437871 (OP)
>Daily Bugle
>colleague is actually Superman

OP, you realize Superman is a fictional character in the Marvel Universe right

>>149437948
>batman has sex with a furry.
Why would it be surprising the furry has sex with furries?

>>149443234
the justice league has a SHAPE SHIFTING alien, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

>>149448190
that’s dumb, even by schizo standards.

>>149437871 (OP)
These are two completely different people anon.

>>149448698
Batman is a crime fighting vigilante. He uses his costume as a terror tatic. Catwomen is some thief with fetishes gear and probably loads of cats.

>>149450577
>man in a gimp suit shaped like a bat is just a vigilante
>woman in a gimp suit shaped like a cat is a pervert
???

>>149438252
>he always runs away whenever a bad guy like joker or penguin raids his charity fundraisers
>whats that, random billionaire CEO doesnt want to fight to the death against heavily armed nutjobs with a death wish and who use chemical warfare daily
Running away is one of the least dipshit things he can do.

>>149437871 (OP)
Superman has sired many children, many without knowing of their parentage. Whether this is to uplift our species or create an army of Supermen I'm not sure. But this would explain why some guy from Nowhere Kansas sort of looks like him if you squint really hard.

Batman is actually a super soldier clone created and bankrolled by Wayne Enterprises. If there were no Batman most of these villains would just be regular mentally ill criminals, but the existence of Batman makes them dress up and act out. Doing so perpetuates the image of Gotham as a crime ridden hellhole, allowing Bruce Wayne to buy up more real estate at no cost. When he owns all of Gotham the Batman will disappear along with the supervillains.

Spider-Man is a group of mutants that regularly switch out portraying the hero. Why do you think his appearance changes so much? He's a teen, he's an adult, he has four arms, he's black, he's a woman. They do this to turn attention away from mutant activity in New York City.

>This shit again
Everyone looks like someone somewhere there's billions of humans. You ever seen an actor impersonation contest? Even the real actors don't get first place!

every time my cousin talks about metropolis its some crazy shit like a whole block getting leveled. why the fuck do you guys still live there

t. gotham fag

>>149437871 (OP)
How the fuck did Jameson manage to steal White's top reporter... I just can't get it.

>>149451320
Hell, we already know that Lex Luthor makes Supermen! They might be in cahoots with one another!

>>149451064
A gimp suit with body armor. How many sex gimps have bullet proof body armor? Plus he has to have a cup on. Unless no crimmal ever tried to kick his nuts.

>>149437871 (OP)
>he straight up looks EXACTLY like Superman
yeah, not seein' it, chief.

>>149443050
God forbid a grown man have some hero merch.

>>149437871 (OP)
I've been closely observing Clark Kent's cousin (you don't need to know why) and she actually looks a lot like Supergirl. Weird...does anyone have her number? I need to uh, verify.