Thread 149856115

Which one do you choose?

Ernest Doesn't Go to the Beach sounds like pure meta kino. The best Ernest movies are the ones that lean into the absurdity and an entire movie about him just staying home is a recipe for utter kino kino KINO kino KINO kino KINO kino kino kino kino kino kino kinno kino knno kno kno kiino kino taki nama na mo kopi topo

>>149856115 (OP)
"goes to the beach" sounds predictable
"doesn't go" would have to look more deeply for hi jinx to fill the runtime

>>149856115 (OP)
The only two Ernest movies I recall are the one where he joins the army and is left to die on he beach and the one where he releases a monster sealed away by his ancestors.

>>149856152
>kino kino KINO kino KINO kino KINO kino kino kino kino kino kino kinno kino knno kno kno kiino kino taki nama na mo kopi topo
medicate

I saw Ernest Rides Again the other day, I thought it was fun. I would have the same dilemma, but "Goes to the Beach" does sound a little more fun

>>149856199
>left to die
oh what? Does an Ernest movie actually get dark or is it resolved in a wacky manner?

>>149856152
>kino kino KINO kino KINO kino KINO kino kino kino kino kino kino kinno kino knno kno kno kiino kino taki nama na mo kopi topo
????? did you just have a fucking stroke

>>149856203
>>149856239
nah, the movie would just be THAT fucking good

Ernest Goes to the Beach is Ernest going to the Beach, but Ernest doesn't go to the Beach could be anything, it could even be Ernest going to the Beach! You know how long I've wanted to see that!

>>149856221
If I recall a vaguely ethnic brown child saves him and serves as his sidekick for the rest of the movie.

>>149856300
bwuh that sounds awful

>>149856115 (OP)
>Ernest Goes to the Beach
You know exactly what Ernest does. No sense of mystery and wonder.
>Ernest Doesn't Go to the Beach
Ernest might do anything, besides go to the beach. A cornucopia of mystery, wonder and intrigue.

Would it be wrong to make a new Ernest project? Ernest feels pretty inseparable from Varney himself but I feel it could be fun, maybe as a comic or a cartoon

>>149856348
Yeah sure. Every other IP's corpse has been dug up and raped, let's do it to Ernest too.

>>149856329
What if the beach came to him? He answers the doorbell and a wave of sand and saltwater crashes thru.

>>149856348
I feel like making a spiritual successor that pays homage instead would be a better idea.

>>149856115 (OP)
i thought these movies where fake for a long time and it turns out there is like 8 ernest movies
why was there so fucking many?

>>149856389
>The Beach goes to Ernest
Just one of the many wondrous possibilities of Ernest Doesn't Go to the Beach.

>>149856412
Ernest happens to do, and not do, a lot of stuff.

>>149856427
weekend at ernies house crossover when?

>>149856115 (OP)
>>149856389
What is Ernest doesn't go to the beach, but life keeps trying DESPERATELY to get him to the beach. Like to the point he's involved in a plane crash off the Atlantic coast, and at the last second he tilts his seat up in such a way that it catapults him OVER the beach and straight back home? And shit like that just keeps happening throughout the movie, where you're SURE he's about to go to the beach this time, only for something to derail it. The comedy potential is literally endless. Or at least, it only ends with the beach.

What if Ernest went toward the beach, but when he got to where its supposed to be, its just gone. A chasmous void. Some Lovecraft entity has deleted a strip of land and the ocean is waterfalling into a bottomless abyss.

>>149856391
How would you do that without being too close to Ernest itself? What other films in the oddly specific "90s wacky family friendly comedy" genre would you take inspiration from, something like RocketMan? Would Ace Ventura be too far removed?
An original idea would not only solve the "Jim Varney's been dead for 25 years" problem but probably allow for more creative concepts, but you would really have to try to nail that feel
I was thinking about this the other day with the North Park thread, I admire the time and effort put into the concept but you can't say it isn't just "South Park but different", and I feel that's not the best choice to make with a creative project

>>149856612
is that the gorilla nest guy

>>149856612
>What other films in the oddly specific "90s wacky family friendly comedy" genre would you take inspiration from, something like RocketMan? Would Ace Ventura be too far removed?
Mister Bean?

Ernest Goes to Camp
Ernest Saves Christmas
Ernest Goes to Jail
Ernest Scared Stupid
Earnest Runs for Office
Ernest Rides Again
Ernest, We Have Lift Off
Ernest Goes to School
Slam Dunk Ernest
Earnest off the Rails
Ernest Goes to Africa
Ernest in the Army
Ernest Joins the Circus
Earnest and the Three Wishes
Jackpot Earnest
Earnest Has Mail
Field Goal Earnest

Now, with out looking it up, how many of these titles did I make up?

>>149856199
>and the one where he releases a monster sealed away by his ancestors.
Those monsters scared the shit out pf me. I think AVGN said the monsters were from another movie and just painted brown.

>>149856289
Kek

good thread

>>149856736
That's Harland Williams, I dunno is Gorilla Nest referring to that Sam Hyde thing
>>149856764
Possibly? I feel this genre is more American and the Bean character is very British in its execution, very different style of comedy there than in US media
Suppose I could see it

>>149856838
8 but man those sound like legit Ernest movies

>>149856838
They have all the non Disney Ernest movies on Tubi and I looked through them the other day, I think I can do this
Everything but Goes to Camp, Saves Christmas, Goes to Jail, Scared Stupid, Rides Again, Goes to School, Slam Dunk Ernest, Goes to Africa and probably in the Army are fake
I would watch Ernest Runs for Office BTW

>>149857060
What would his campaign slogan be?
What's the main issue he runs on?

>>149857133
"im earnest about my thoughts"
he runs on being very earnest about being earnest, he doesnt actually do anything he just keeps talking about how earnest he will be

>>149857155
If he's actually earnest about being earnest, I'd vote for him.

I once made a thread on /tv/ about the deep Ernest lore but because it's /tv/ nobody gave a shit. Too bad.
For example:
>In some television commercials and the 1983 special "Hey Vern, It's My Family Album", Ernest is said to have a wife named Edna. However, in the Ernest movies, Ernest is unmarried and lives alone.
>>149857133
Ernest would probably have some mundane issue he's overly concerned with like a single pothole or something. No major ideas and no vaguely motivational phrases like most campaigns

>>149857245
exactly.

>>149856115 (OP)
I’m curious to see what happens when he dosen’t go to the beach. If they play it straight and it’s him being mundane it would come off as an Andy Kaufman joke and honestly I might get a laugh out of it. Alternatively it would probably play off like a goofy how to cartoon but live action but sound like they would appeal to my sense of comedy yes, I think I’ll pick Ernest dosen’t go to the beach, unless I’m horney in which case there might be the slim chance of boon in beach.

>>149857155
>>149857245
>>149857256
>Despite not having any policies that clashes with anyone else, he still gets run out of town by the other politicians, for being the only earnest politician
Stop making me want to watch movies that'll never exist!

>>149856950
>Bean character is very British in its execution
He rarely ever talks, is pretty reliant on slapstick comedy and generally acting weird. And as much as I like Ernest, I think that a modern spiritual successor would quickly get roped into barely doing anything, but with tons of "funny" dialog, like everything else.

>>149857155
>>149857434
I see it going like this:
Ernest is either working as a telephone operator or as a receptionist at the mayor's office. Every day he has to handle complaint calls and tries to pass them along to the mayor who always is either out or pretends to be too busy to listen. So Ernest, having promised the people over the phone that he will get their complaints to the mayor, shows up at a town hall meeting where it's the mayor's job to listen and undoes a list of complaints that unrolls like a scroll, hits the ground and keeps going.
As he reads the complaints, the people start agreeing with him hand say he would be a better mayor than their current guy. The mayor asks Ernest
"Why would anyone vote for this clown?"
And Ernest responds "I dunno, I'm just Ernest."
Which people mistake for meaning earnest, so "I'm just earnest" becomes his campaign slogan.
There's likely some corrupt company in town backing Ernest to try to get a figurehead mayor put in place, one so dumb they wouldn't even need to pay him off.

How about Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VSRYwk6JY

>>149856199
I watched "Goes to Camp" many time on a tape as a kid. I actually managed to take seriously the part where Indian magic protects him from bullets.

>>149856152
hop in dude

>>149856289
kek. good one, anon.

>>149856152
>him just staying home is a recipe for utter kino kino KINO kino KINO kino KINO kino kino kino kino kino kino kinno kino knno kno kno kiino kino taki nama na mo kopi topo
Hey! We're getting in a rut!

>>149856289
lol

>>149856115 (OP)
Someday AI may advance to the point that it can analyze all his film and TV appearances, and synthesize both of these titles.

>>149856844
They are reused/modified from Killer Klowns from Outer space in the case of 2 monsters.

>>149856152
This dude knows his Earnest. How much trouble can he possibly get into at the beach, compared a house full of stuff?

>>149856115 (OP)
This bothers me. So I took a minute to fix it.

>>149856152
KINO POST

Seriously, your post is pure meta kino. The best 4chan posts are the ones that lean into the absurdity and an entire post about Ernest movies just ending with kino kino KINO kino KINO kino KINO kino kino kino kino kino kino kinno kino knno kno kno kiino kino taki nama na mo kopi topo is a recipe for utter kino kino KINO kino KINO kino KINO kino kino kino kino kino kino kinno kino knno kno kno kiino kino taki nama na mo kopi topo

>>149856612
>a wacky comedy
>doesn’t say it was good
Kek. What a pull-out quote.

>>149859751
>"it was good"
>"Kek."
>-Anonymous

>>149856115 (OP)
Are these two movies just two separate days of Ernest's life or do they represent a split in the Ernest timeline?

>>149859702
actually that is better

>>149859783
Touché.

>>149856115 (OP)
Ernest is reading a book in Doesn't go, that means the movie is Ernest exploring different books and using his imagination to go on far out adventures.

>>149856152
Fucking kek

>>149856289
The one thing it can't be is Ernest going to the beach

>>149856152
fpbp

>>149856152
My man got so excited for some Ernest kino he started speaking in tongues

>>149856838
>Jackpot Ernest
>Ernest in Vegas with the obvious idiot savant Rainman joke
Quick, dig up Jim Varney. There's cinema to be made.

>>149859751
He actually did like it, he gave it 3 out of 4 stars

>>149856152
The temp must be 0.7 and rep penalty 1.1, with k-top at 3 MINIMUM or the llm will exhibit repetition.

>>149856612
>RocketMan
Well there's something I completely forgot existed. Pretty sure I saw the VHS of that in the rental store but never touched it

>>149856115 (OP)
>if Ernest alive today
>Ernest get ipad

>>149856612
>Gailard Sartain as Mr. Randall, Fred's father
> was also known for his roles in three of the Ernest movies and the TV series Hey Vern, It's Ernest!, which ran for one season on CBS in 1988
We live on a weird planet.

Reminder that Jim was a classically trained actor who did Shakespeare. He just really liked doing Ernest. He also looked like a chad when he tried.

>>149862881
Varney had an interesting relationship with Ernest; of course he did like the character and performing as him, but he did want to do more, particularly more dramatic roles
Hollywood is what it is so that didn't always happen
One of his last roles, released after he passed away, was a more dramatic role in "Daddy and Them"
https://youtu.be/oJDy-3XXuvk
If Varney hadn't died so young, it's probable he would have done more dramatic roles (while still probably doing Ernest stuff), I'm curious if he would have been more like Robin Williams or Tom Hanks though
That Family Guy joke early on where Peter laughs at Philadelphia because Tom Hanks is in it, there was that period where Hanks was more known for comedy roles like Big or Bosom Buddies, but after that it was much more dramatic heavy. Perhaps too much

>>149857155
Needs a "Knowhutahmean?" at the end of that slogan.

>>149856152
>>149856289
Lel