Thread 150293282

>You live anywhere in the world of 616.
>You are a civilian who just hears about stuff going on through the news, the internet and influencers.
>Or you are a person who just developed a street-level superpower.


Have fun!

FUCK MUTIES

>>150293306
As in
>bow chicka bow bow
or as in
>Hail Hydra
?

>>150293282 (OP)
I die

>>150293282 (OP)
I dont live in New York so my life will be exactly the same.

>>150294120
Anon, you are a genetypical man. Chances are, you'd get a genedivergent GF. Hopefully before the X-men get to her first.

>>150294164
>Implying you wouldn't catch strays when some faggot lasers the planet.

>>150294713
I'm hoping for an Incursion, actually.

>>150293306
Based

>>150293282 (OP)
Can I not?

>>150294732
Huh? As in Miles Morales visits you?

>>150294164
Live in New York and you experience frequent superhuman and paranormal activity. But you are mostly safe and the city remains intact.

Live outside New York and you rarely experience superhuman and paranormal activity. But when you do experience superhuman and paranormal activity, significant number of people are going to die and the city is most likely destroyed. And if you live in a small town, majority of the residents are going to die when they experience superhuman and paranormal activity.

>>150296080
>Looks at Bone Idaho.

>>150293282 (OP)
I would pose as a criminal and bait she-hulk into stepping on me

>>150296375
based

>>150296375
Why would you want She-Hag to step on you?

>>150296375
That's 700lbs of hoebag on you.

>>150293431
The latter primarily but also the former so my coneuppance is incredibly ironic and properly serves the X-Propaganda goals.

This is funnier if we just make it Seinfeld in 616. Same mundane fun.
>"....Can I see that paper when you're done?"
>"Sure, have it. It's the same front page Spider-Man rant anyway."
>"I feel like every other day New York either loves or hates Spider-Man. Which is it?"
>"What's today?"
>"Tuesday"
>"It's hating him."
>"You know what they should be printing? The cost of rent going up. No wonder people become supervillains. Hell, I should become a supervillain!"
>"George, you can't become a supervillain, you feel guilty taking a penny from the leave a penny."
>"You're saying I couldn't be a bad guy? What does Doctor Octopus have that I don't, eh? We're both around the same build. I could be....Captain Mollusk or something"
>"An overweight nutjob with metal arms welded to his back. Your mother would be so proud"
>"At least I could afford to live in the city"
>"Because you created property damage that racked up the cost of rent, and now you're in debt for the arms!"

>>150296693
Pretty meta thinking I like it

>>150294164
California and Florida could also be dangerous. Or you could get involved in a random story involving a non-coastal superhero.

>>150293282 (OP)
I don't live in the USA so I'm sure I'll be good until some ayylmao thanos/darkseid wannabe decides to destroy the planet.

>>150297331
>I'll be good until some

The kid named Dr.Doom:

>>150295948
No, I mean a goddamn INCURSION. I wanna stand on a rooftop and smoke a joint while I'm looking at this. Pretty damn good way to go, right?

>>150297700
TRVE

>>150297700
That is pretty cool I’ll admit

>Move to Nebraska to get away from superhero bullshit in the cities
>One day while I'm on the shitter at the office I start hearing explosions
>Turns out I was working for an AIM subsidiary and some super spy murdered everyone to steal our servers

Every fucking time, at least it's better than my last boss turning out to be some Satanist sacrificing the secretary pool for magic powers.

>>150296569
giwtwm

Jameson releasing another hit piece on Spiderman. It’s so obvious he hates the guy ‘cause he’s black.

>>150300117
>>150296805
>A "The office" kind of series with normal humans trying to survive their 9 to 5 in a superhero world would be kind of cool.
>Maybe with a little inspiration of Ugly Americans in the sense that some of them have powers, or are muties or ayys or shit. But none of them with the level or motivation to become a hero or a villain.

if you do not mate exclusively with beast people than you are a beta cuck.

we must embrace the next step of human evolution here people. muties are fine too but thats just as a last resort. AND SHAPESHIFTERS ARE CONSIDERED CHEATING

>If I don't develop powers, then I'll try to befriend a mugga so that I'll be safe
>Immigrate to Latveria. Doom has crippling autism, but at least I'll be well cared for
>Try to practice magic so I could work with the Midnight Suns
>work with Hank Pym for the growth/shrink tech for fetish purposes

>>150296805
lol

>>150301409
I'm kind of happy that a Damage Control mockumentary show doesn't exist because even if it sounds like something i could really enjoy, it definitely would suck. I don't trust modern writers and the MCU

>>150301709
idiot. Normie friend getting killed instilling a deep sense of justice in the budding hero is 101 archetypal writing workshop

>>150293282 (OP)
I drive around in my truck snatching up bits of alien/super tech until I can cobble together my own bootleg Iron Man suit.

Do you think in 616 defense and large tech companies with government contracts forbid their employees from dating black people on the off chance that they’re secretly Wakandan spies trying to steal American state secrets

>>150302498
maybe they also force you to do blood tests to make sure you are not a mutie and by proxy, a krakoa sympathizer

>>150293282 (OP)
TOAA is a hack.

>>150293306
Then your son become one

>>150305099
Then anon would fuck him too. What do you not understand?

>>150294164
>>150296080
The dangerous spots seem to be
>New York, for the general trouble from most supervillains or invading armies from space.
>The western states like Wyoming, Idaho, Nevada, Utah for Hulk and Hulkbusters blowing up fucking everything nearby.
>Every villain going after Stark happens in California.
>Canada because it seems to be run by shadow organizations that kidnap and experiment on people and turn them into human weapons.
>And the general Balkans area of Europe since it contains about a half dozen evil nations run by supervillains.

But almost any random town can have a local mutant fucking around or accidentally blowing up a local Walmart when their powers manifest.

>>150293282 (OP)
Seems like it's not too hard to learn some decent magic in Marvel if you need some level of defense from the superpowered threats and have no powers of your own.

Strange Academy makes it seem like most isolated small towns have some magic skills of their own.

>>150298112
>>150300024
I miss Secret Wars so much.

Save me Thor-sama

I would get a mutant GF.

>>150293282 (OP)
Good thing There's absolutely nothing in kansas in every universe

I fucking hate mutants. I'm so jealous of them. I wish I had been born with some kind of superpower. Instead I'm just another ordinary human.

>>150306404
Yeah, you need to be in the Distinguished Competition's multiverse for that.

Technology would have advanced so much more than it has in the past 20-30 years that it's not even funny. God, It's sad how technology is all just the same shit we've had for ages, except now it's just faster and smaller.

>>150293282 (OP)
>be me
>Italian
>only supernatural thing in the country is some Inhuman Mafia in Venice

>>150306486
Just get hit by radiation of some kind. That’s how the FF got their powers. Hell the U-Foes AND Red Ghost literally ripped them off with the cosmic ray shit so it’s not like you can’t bullshit your way into them

>>150293282 (OP)
anyone know where to get a inhibitor collar? dating a mutie and shes a real freak

I called my girlfriend the m-word and she got angry and offended buts she calls me racial slurs all the time what do I do bros?

>>150305099
FUCK MY SON

>>150293282 (OP)
oh boy would I have fun there...and since knowledge IS power, I would literally have a shot at becoming a god.
notice me not would be an issue so I have to be very smart about what my power will be, street-level yet able to counter most powers there.

>>150309217
THATS INCEST

>>150308517
Tell her that your mutie power is being and asshole and it wasn't your intention being racist with a fellow mutie.

>>150306486
In Marvel radiation of any kind gives any type of superpower. Just hanging around near a nuclear test site does it half the time.

>>150307884
>>150309604
The challenge there is that it is a complete crapshoot what power you get.

You MIGHT get a cool power like energy manipulation or the ability to control gravity, or you might be turned into a flying 6 armed blue gorilla.


Gamma and mutant powers manifest to a real huge need, which can be cool or awful depending on the situation that made them manifest. If you really need to escape a burning building you might manifest fireproof powers or invulnerability. If you ate a burrito and really really need to shit you might get explosive flying shit rocket powers or diarrheakinesis.

>>150309604
I did this and I just got cancer bros

>>150309604
Would be fun if there if a collection of nuclear scientists from the 1950s who gained superpowers from viewing nuclear explosions on test sites for years.

Those guys are the real defenders of Las Vegas supervillains.

>>150309604
We got
>3 teams of people who gained superpowers from flying in an unshielded spacecraft
>2 characters who got superpowers by standing near a nuclear test explosion
>2 heroes who got powers by having radioactive waste splashed on them
>3 villains who got powers by typical nuclear powerplant accidents

Even then
>Julia Spider-Woman was just given spider powers by a government group who clearly know how to give people reliable spider powers
>Cloak and Dagger got superpowers by some super heroine that gives people elemental powers then you take it, and the gangs still had more of that stuff
>Power Broker can easily give anyone class 10 superstrength if they pay him
>Zemo can make anyone into a class 100 brick if he wants, he just doesn't want to
>He can also turn anyone into furries
>Lots of other scientists know how to give people furry powers too like Connors, or the guy JJ hired to turn Gargan into Scorpion
Seems most scientist types know how to give people powers since Zemo and Doom do it all the time, even Thinker made a knockoff FF with the same powers.

You hear about the news?

>>150310484
Saw a mutant the other day, horrible creatures.

>>150301409
>A "The office" kind of series with normal humans trying to survive their 9 to 5 in a superhero world would be kind of cool.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP47hMtvpEQ

Guys help I got bit by a radioactive spider (currently on my ceiling typing) but I live in fucking LA there’s no buildings to swing from what am I supposed to do?

>>150293282 (OP)
>616
No thanks, I am going to Earth-982 instead.

>>150310526
What about the hot ones?

>>150310654
Kek, that's great anon.

>>150293282 (OP)
I would literally get the same powers as upgrade and then play the long game

>>150301409
>>150310654
>Their version of Dwight is a Billy Butcher wannabe

>>150309920
There's the option "a dying alien gave me his superpowers" too.
Alien can be very kind sometines.

>>150314197
>a dying alien gave me his powers
I heard that happened to a guy one universe over

>>150300117
That sucks, anon. My uncle was working on a cure for mutants. Not cure, as in "cure" mind you. Legit stuff. He wasn't part of any government or private organization, he was self funded. He wanted to work on something that would accommodate their biology on an individual level, and change them humans, not the "power suppressing and hoping for the best" kind of shit. He was big on helping mutant kids with mutations that are detrimental to them, or would straight up kill them. Or mutations that are dangerous to everyone around them. He was hoping that one day his work would not only help mutants, but with modification, it would cure terminally ill children too. As he was getting close to a breakthrough, the lab he was working at collapsed. All the steel in the walls gave in. He died. Surprisingly none of his employees went to work that day, nor do they remember anything, almost as if their memory was wiped... It's... Strange and scary to say the least.

>>150301298
Yeah. Notice how he never called captain America, or thor a menace?

>>150314500
Damn sorry to hear that. Kinda reminds me of that Connors guy. You try to do yourself and the world a favor and you accidentally turn yourself into a lizard monster. Shit’s fucked

>Be me
>Developed some minor barely noticeable and useless mutation
>Suddenly a bunch of guys in costume show up at my work, start a fight and tell me I'm a race traitor after blowing up my car
>get fired

fucking muggas

>>150314765
You self-hating mutants are race traitors.

>>150293282 (OP)
Is Wolverine's regenerative healing factor a street-level superpower? If yes, gimmie that. Not even going to be a superhero or supervillain. I just want it for the health benefits that it would provide.

>>150314847
And you are a fucking hypocrite. You claim mutant superiority this and race traitor that.
But so far I've only seen you help and recruit mutants with cool or useful powers, all those of us with only one extra arm, or slightly more strenght than the average person just don't exist huh? How convenient.

>>150305429
>mi-13 drafts
why the fuck am i expected to be as powerful as whoever the fuck captain britain is this week
i got an x-gene that makes my pupils rectangular and not only did i get thrown out of council housing for being a "mutie cunt" but now i need to go and die in avalon because some random nurse with a sword said so
for fucks sake

>>150314765
At least they spare you the giant purple robots.

>>150301298
127 costumed clowns running around Manhattan and all that editor guy at the Bugle can bitch about is Spider-Man.

What about that King Fish Guy in the speedos that drowned about a third of Long Island three months ago, but is now hanging out with the Avengers fighting Super Skrull?

Or every damn time Richards does some super nuclear experiment in the middle of downtown and then green bug guys start killing every hot dog stand for three blocks?

Or every damn time one of them assholes in tights is fighting Wrecking Crew in the middle of 39th street they have to pick up a few cars and break em on wrecker's head? He's fucking bulletproof, a damn car ain't gonna hurt him! You're just sending people into debt and fucking up their property for no reason!

>>150315801
I'm telling you man, it's a big conspiracy from the insurance companies.

>>150315801
You surelly missed that article where JJJ was talking shit about the FF, but probably that was another personal vendetta because he think that only his son is the coolest astronaut around

>>150301298
>>150315801
Spider-Man is a menace.

Last week, I was working from home when I heard a thud against my balcony window. I look up, and it’s freaking Spider-Man out there, chilling with some kind of sandwich like it’s no big deal. Just swinging by for a lunch break, I guess?
We locked eyes for a second. I gave him a thumbs-up (because, y’know, it’s Spider-Man), and went back to my work. I always thought JJJ was a bit unhinged with his rants about Spidey being a menace.
After my next meeting, I go to check the balcony, and he’s gone. But here’s the kicker: he left his sandwich wrapper or whatever on the ground… and underneath it? The biggest, most concerning pile of crap I’ve ever seen. A giant radioactive turd practically winking at me. If you're reading this you webbed freak, you need to see a doctor.
What kind of animal does this?! Just swings in, eats lunch, leaves a biohazard, and dips? JJJ might be right about this guy. Has anyone else had a run-in like this with Spider-Man? What’s his deal?

>>150293282 (OP)
I don't.

>>150293282 (OP)
I'd undo OMD