>>150819169
Moxxie's like "We need to confirm which one is the actual target" and I'm like "Or WILD idea we kill BOTH and charge double!" But Mr. Sensitivity is having another one of his little panic attacks about "professional integrity" and I'm like, dude, we FUCK PEOPLE UP FOR MONEY. We have the professional integrity of a gas station sushi roll!
Long story short: I may have accidentally started a massive fucking brawl at the retreat, definitely set fire to something that was "important" (their words, not mine), probably traumatized an entire HR department, and MAYBE confused the targets so badly we ended up killing the guy's THERAPIST instead. Who, in my defense, probably deserved it for other reasons.
Moxxie's pissed, Millie's covered in blood and smiling (again: QUEEN), and Loona had to portal us out before the cops showed up. Client's mad we killed the wrong guy, I told him to fuck off and kept his deposit because that's called BUSINESS, baby.
Oh, and somewhere in there I maybe drunk-dialed Stolas like fifteen times trying to get him to come "help" (read: watch me be competent and hot), but he was busy doing... prince stuff? Royal orgies? Who fucking knows. Not that I CARE or anything. I'm totally over that feathery fuckface. Completely. Absolutely. I don't think about him AT ALL.
[Definitely thinks about him constantly]
The point is: I'm the BEST boss these ungrateful assholes could ask for, I solve problems CREATIVELY (with bullets), and if everyone would just LISTEN TO ME and stop questioning my perfect instincts, we'd be FINE.
Next week better not be another "Blitzo you're the problem" episode because I am THRIVING and anyone who says different can eat my entire ass.
>End credits: Blitzo trying to expense the fire damage as "marketing costs"
Here you go, this is the slop tier you gulp like if it was Blitzy steamy cream.
