Thread 151178914

An accurate depiction of a /co/ user with power

redditor*
a /co/ user would use that power to impregnate billions of foids at superspeed

>>151178914 (OP)
na,I'd be to busy in outer space exploring the galaxy

>>151178914 (OP)
The only inaccuracy is that his crush was an adult woman

I think most of us would be too lazy and apathetic to try and take control of a city, even with super powers. I know would be, anyway.

>>151179473
This. Something I think people tend to fail to realize is that superpowers on that level basically negates the need to rule.
I basically can head to any vacation spot, have a gazillion cool tricks only I can do, have the UN to pay me to exist on account of stopping shit like nukes, impress the ladies however I want.
Hell, even a total psycho acting in malice comes with the caveat of getting bored because there's not a single person on Earth you can't just fucking steamroll. Sooner or later, someone like that is gonna just destroy the Earth and then head off to deep space looking for something more legit.
It's a lot harder for power to corrupt someone when there's nothing more to achieve and nothing to maintain.

>>151179324
Retard

>>151179324
kek

>>151178914 (OP)
Nah. A /co/ user with superpowers would just fly everywhere dropping trow and taking a shit all over every big network exec they can find for cancelling all the good cartoons we used to have.

>>151178914 (OP)
why in the fuck would I spend all my time stopping petty crimes?

>>151179555
>impress the ladies however I want.
this is what messed me up about him getting rejected. Even if whats-her-face was that kindo of above it all chick who wouldn't hop on a guy like Tighten's dick (even with his fugly face), there's actual 10s of millions of women who would and they were all available to him.

>>151180211
I think the deal is that Tighten was sorta already imagining her as his "storybook love interest." in that regard. Thing about her, I'll be honest, it's gonna be ladies who knew you before the powers with the least interest because they already have set impressions of what you are psychologically.

>>151178914 (OP)
>a 4chan user with Metroman's powers
So Overman?

>>151180313
>>/Bluesky/

>>151180211
I think a lot of her rejection came from the fact that she knew he was actually an immature loser under all the flashy powers, in addition to being completely bored of said powers as she’s seen them a all a thousand times before with Metro-Man. Tighten could have played aloof and mysterious and gotten a million chicks on his dick, but he had super-oneitis for the one chick he could never impress.

>>151179555
THIS. The fact you can go anywhere at anytime and do almost anything you want and are (at least in-universe) invincible, why take over a city? In other meta-human comics and media that's the worst move to do. To EVER establish some form of official power. If anything, acting like a wandering bum takes a huge target off your back. Or, even better, rescue people during natural disasters ONLY and making money doing that as well, instead of trying to fight petty crime or something stupid like that.
>It's a lot harder for power to corrupt someone when there's nothing more to achieve and nothing to maintain.
Yeah, when you're nigh immortal, what's the point of having a city or empire. You're already at the end-game/peak of existence.
>>151180211
>there's actual 10s of millions of women who would and they were all available to him.
This, Titan should'a ignored Roxanne right away. Basic ass un-talented ecelebs have women crawling and humping after their dicks. There would be a veritable buffet of women chasing Titan just to get seeded by a meta-human. Roxanne was kinda a hoity bitch anyways because the implication was everyone lusted after her since she was the hot news-report(er)-tress trope who was misunderstood, cus she was so hot and desired.

>>151181522
Yeah, people don't get how shit like serial killers or evil businessmen work. It's about ego, about the game. In order to feed their ego and feel that power, there needs to be an actual "game" to play.
Dr.Manhattan was probably still the most realistic portrayal of "if you got these kinds of powers". He's not benevolent, he's not malicious, he's bored. Being god is boring. He can do literally anything with no risk of failure and thus there's nothing to actually do that provides any satisfaction.
That's the flaw of "evil superman" as a concept is it only works if the Superman expy DOESN'T lord over every other character because evil requires the evil activities to actually feed the ego.

>>151179296
True.
If I had titan powers I would cover myself in a cool veil and then fly around at superspeed killing all the politicians and world leaders I dislike dramatically and try to conquer the world.

>>151179324
>in the blink of an eye jizz splatters all over every little girl foot in Metrocity

>>151181734
All you'd have to do is make an example of one and the rest would bow. You're underestimating how terrifying an invincible flying man is.

>>151181349
Having oneitis is the biggest turn off for other women, they can absolutely tell you're not over that one girl who was vaguely nice to you in 3rd grade

>>151178914 (OP)
I wouldn't use my powers at all. Maybe I'd fly off in search of adventure in other galaxies if anything; sketch and categorize alien species

>>151180313
>the good man that Kal El innately is given the powers of a God and the Neitzchean ideology to not want to manifest the same God and Slave paradigms before
If Fascist Superman happened, he'd be directed by his superiors to reductive purposes, before reshaping the planet to the manifests of his people, and sending all the people who don't deserve the lands his people, first the Germans and then those of his eugenic manifest, into an ascended power climb, leaving the Earth to make new worlds on other planets. Hell, that's a good way to meet the other roster, Atlantropa gets him in contact with the Amazons and Aquaman, terraforming Mars has him at odds with the Manhunter and later the Lantern Corps, maybe the Reach too.

When you're not shackled by the limitations of 'guys, Hitler bad' and can actually do the story of 'what if the dictatorship's icon really WAS an all-powerful superman and still a good person' it can make an interesting story. Really put into practice the actual hypothetical of the Overman manifest in a war-shocked Germany. Hell if you really need Hitler to still be the most evil person ever, as allied prop as it is, have him see the young Kal El like a muse and develop a homoerotic obsession with the boy before he breaks the shackles of the man and leads the Nazi Party himself, like what they did with Red Son but far more crotchgazing for that jewcoded sexual energy.

Whatever, I'm sure the pickmes in the jannie squad are already frothing at the mouth and clicking the report triangle over and over. Send me a three day, I've been through many and I've shaken them off all the same.

>>151179555
checked
I partially agree. I can't remember the media but someone did a deconstruction of bad guys wanting to rule the world and it ultimately ended up being a fuckton of bureaucracy. Sure you could force people to do that one or two things you want changed and otherwise let everyone else keep doing their thing, but at that point you're just a modern dragon coming out of your cave for treasure every now and then.

>>151178914 (OP)
I'd be the one guy to absolutely not use my powers for anything just because I feel using them would irreversibly ruin human development due to my interference. If I was to actually use them I'd just whore myself out to companies to put Satelites in space for a fraction of a cost.

>>151181522
This! So much THIS!

>>151178914 (OP)
I'd use my power to break into pharmaceutical laboratories to get high with the newest drugs.
I don't care about dominating people, creating a dark empire, bullying the weak, or fighting the system. Fuck all of you. All of my power will be vehemently used for escapism, mainly as I said by getting the most hardcore drugs into my veins. And playing video games high.
Fuck you ALL.

>>151178914 (OP)
>fly
>super strength
>invulnerable to most physical assaults
I'd fly to Kendrick Lamar's house and call him the n word to his face, and sing songs about being short and black around him, then fuck off when bored and do something else.

>>151182833
you could just go to his house now and call it him it?

>>151182768
and I'm stealing all the coolest limited run pins in the world to put them in my secret base. Like that godzilla one with a four or five floors building that can be destroyed or the new harry potter pinball.
Fuck it I'll force companies to make a devil may cry pinball too.

>>151182416
>Whatever, I'm sure the pickmes in the jannie squad are already frothing at the mouth and clicking the report triangle over and over. Send me a three day, I've been through many and I've shaken them off all the same.
Stop being such a fuckin crybaby wannabe-martyr

>>151178914 (OP)
If he’s an average /co/ user with superpowers does that mean he’ll use his powers to rape children nonstop?

>>151182833
Why are you posting on 4chan drake

>>151179296
>>151181734
I would wear a mask to keep my identity secret, and I would try to be as stealthy as possible when killing politicians. Once they figure out that there's a literal superman running around, then I'll drop the stealth and just start ripping heads off. I'd probably also destroy a few synagogues and sell all the gold I can find inside for a quick buck.

>>151179561
Cope lolitard

>>151182862
Well he'd shoot me then and I'd die.

With superpowers I can laugh it off and dance around him mocking him.
>>151182900
Nah, Drake a menace, I just want to fuck with the goat bc you're not supposed to.

>>151182885
Stop proving me right about this place.

>>151179298
>>151182398
we never got to know if Metroman powers allowed him to survive in outer space or not though

>>151178914 (OP)
I think I'd fall somewhere between Tighten and post-death faking Metroman. I'm not prone to temper tantrums or projecting my failings and insecurities onto other people, I would not use my powers in ways that put huge numbers of randoms in peril in a fit of pique. I'm also far from perfect and full of biases and human frailty. I'd make a terrible superhero.
Best I could probably pull off is Punisher, I would not change the world but I would leave it with a lot fewer scumbags breathing in it.
Outside of that I'd devote my powers to whatever interests me at the moment, I'd do an occasional odd job for a government or corporation that doesn't conflict with my moral sensibilities but I wouldn't hitch myself to any organization for a long-term job.
Would be bad to give any normals the idea that they could obligate me to do things for them or dictate terms to me, or that I could be a crutch or tool they can rely on for their needs.

This was Metroman's problem, he did his hero thing out of a sense of social obligation but eventually it wore him down and in the end when a real super tier threat arose he was already burnt out and decided to stay out of it. Metro City survived only because it got lucky that Tighten was an artificial villain who's powers could be revoked and that the guy who created him was still around.
If you lend your powers out too often people simply become dependent on you to deal with all their problems always.

If I had superpowers like Tighten I'd fly around restricted airspaces and be a menace, then zoom to Canada and forcibly befriend a Polar Bear, gather a whole bunch of friend-shaped dangers as my pals.

I'd bring up the Titanic, and the Bismarck, and the Luisitania and a lot of other sunken ships, that was my major autism back in the day so I'd like to scratch that itch, probably go to Mars and draw slurs with my eye lasers and take a shit on it. Maybe go to Area 51 and record shit, who's gonna stop me.

>>151182890
Shut it

>>151183047
Seethe, troon

If I had those powers I would keep it super on the down low. I know any big world government would hate that there was something that powerful that wasn't under their control and would want it dead ASAP.

>>151183166
>>151183047
I'd use my superpowers to locate the two of you, put you both on top of a nearby mountain and record you finishing this argument.

>>151183064
>Nah, Drake a menace, I just want to fuck with the goat bc you're not supposed to.

>>151183177
I would end him

>>151183172
That is one way to handle it but Metroman doesn't actually seem to have any real weaknesses, he's Superman but without kryptonite or magic bullshit to at least slow him down or make him vulnerable to something else.
With that much power and none of the vulnerabilities there isn't anything a world government could do to harm you.

>>151183178
Because God loves me more than you, edomite.

>>151179324
lol

>>151178914 (OP)
It's probably true that /co/ would be selfish with its' powers, but I don't think it'd be purposefully destructive...
Enact its' own sense of justice? Possibly. Depending on which side of /co/ got the power, they might go full 'orange man bad' or 'criminals bad'
They might take over the UK, rule with absolute power and thus make the UK a freer country.

>>151183278
>holier than thou
Against the bible

>>151183337
>They might take over the UK, rule with absolute power and thus make the UK a freer country.

>>151183337
>/co/ takes over UK
>you need a shitpost loicence to be on 4chins

>>151182768
Imagine being given the power to change reality in any way you want and your only desire is to escape reality.

>>151183481
Depends which side of /co/ takes over, I suppose; will it be the freedom-loving shit-posters or the backseat jannies?

>>151183450
whitey

>>151183512
I was told I am an horrible person for making rape jokes in hazbin homotel fujoshit threads so what do you think.

>>151183484
what's the point of tinkering with reality if I can influence my brain receptors governing my happiness with drugs directly? Additionally my dopamine/endorphin etc production is greatly damaged so I need those fucking drugs man. Give them to me or I blow up all powerplants on earth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaKEe-pihJI
I shall undo the mistake Christ had made for forgiving mankind's sins, and avenge my forefathers and purify the future.

>>151182943
I wonder what'd happen if you cosplayed jesus and then came down from the skies in the middle of a speech, ripped the politician's head off and then hovered away like nothing happened without uttering a word.

>>151183512
TrannyJannies are already in charge of the Yookay, it couldn't get worse.

I would just pull pranks on evil people.
Leave warlords hanging on flagpoles by their underwear.
Force them to eat yucky worms, live, on twitch.
Make them dance in a tutu.
Just comically petty cartoon bully shit, until nobody can take them seriously anymore.

>>151178914 (OP)
I think if I had that kind of power, I'd go out into the great pacific garbage patch, get a big net, grab all the garbage, and dump in on Pyongyang

>>151183860
Why?
Why not dump it back on the countries that created it?

>>151183726
Based

>>151183883
I guess I could dump it onto India and China instead, or I could spend hours methodically crushing it into bricks and build a fortress of solitude in Antarctica

>>151183726
Holy based.
I think this would actually be worse than death for many of them. A lot of dictator types and drug lords and other scumbag figureheads would be killed by their own former subordinates anyways after such a humiliation.

>>151182760
Don't mock me **friendo**.