In Hindi we call them hata karne wala banar (Murder Monkeys) because of the great harm they do. Our government provides colony huts near city centres so monkeys come out looking to steal. They often bite your face, poke eyes, or tear at ears. We are not allowed to kill these monkeys, will get much time in jail. These helmets will be in-expensive to allow locals to buy. Westerners aren't exposed to these things but advice is appreciated.

So how exactly are you planning to fit this helmet on a "murder monkey"?

>>2914845
Sorry for confusing but these helmets are for local people who are exposed to these monkeys daily.

>>2914847
Pardon my retardation :/

>>2914849
No no I am thinking of you having a good idea for 100 helmets 100 humans not bite but 1000 but for 1 helmet 1000 humans not mite monkey can suck my dick(but can tot for helmeted B^P)

>>2914847
Listen brother....you can remove monkey helmet on the monkey because 1 helmet prevent 1000 bit, can't killing murder the monkey but if monkey not to eat then monkey starve and die on own.

Make the helmets vrother

>>2914842 (OP)
FIFY

>>2914856
yes thank you must have place for bidis.

>>2914842 (OP)
>20,000 leagues under the street

>>2914842 (OP)
GOOD MORNING SIRS
I understand your frustration. We are having many problems and I am here to help. Please be advised we do not tolerate abusive language or racism here.
Have I provided excellent customer service today? If so please rate 5 stars

>>2914842 (OP)
Stage a monkey attacking cow false flag
Incite TMD
Profit

presumable there are predators that the monkies are trying to avoid, would a water curtain dissuade the majority of monkies and satisfy a reasonable defense giving cause for self defense.
a wet monkey is a smelly monkey increase should attrack predators. what are the primary predators of these monkies?

>>2915553
This is actually a good idea. a super soaker with a high velocity jet for self defense. It could be as simple as a bottle hung from the belt with a manual air pump and gun attached. Refillable at any mud hole.

Of course active defense isn't as effective. OP could pair it with a crown of thorns so monkeys cant jump onto the person's head unexpectedly.

>>2914842 (OP)
Just give make tazer + pepper spry all Indian we ficks problem

>>2915570
>super soaker
might be permitted, but workers need their hands free
>>2915585
>tazer+pepper spray
definitely not permitted will result in arrest

>>2915603
check this out. Elegant, stylish, economical, easy to manufacture, applicable to many different styles and levels of build quality.

>>2915621
Many locals have aids and it does not prevent bites because monkeys can't tell.

>>2915623
monkey sex education is the only way

>>2914842 (OP)
Just shoot the monkeys.

>>2915603
Just shoot the pigs.

>>2914842 (OP)
>In Hindi we call them hata karne wala banar (Murder Monkeys) because of the great harm they do
Are you talking about Pakis?
Should be a very good market for this, immediately, saar

>>2915627
We are not permitted guns here, possibly reason why monkeys so successful.

>>2915633
The only person that can prevent you from owning guns is you.

>>2914842 (OP)
>In Hindi
love indian & paki video manufacturing everything straight out off recycling bin
how does those small industry compete with big factories & cheap chinkshit?

>>2915846
forgot pic

>>2914842 (OP)
>hata karne wala banar (Murder Monkeys)
so these but in real life? https://dark-deception-game.fandom.com/wiki/Murder_Monkeys isn't there a sound that repels them? or a scent?

>>2914842 (OP)
>Monkey defense helmet
find the cheapest, fully covering head, motorcycle helmet. Reinforce and add throat guard with several layers of cloth and scale mail.

>>2915847
imagine fucking breathing melted plastic fumes all day

>>2914842 (OP)
>>2914842 (OP)
I think what you should do is start a fund for a small temple painted a horrible, eye-watering shade of orange. It should have a really badly made and garishly painted idol of Hanumana. Once that is done, make regular offerings of bananas and Parle-G biscuits at the temple.

You will not need this silly helmet once the monkeys recognize you're a good little Hindu who loves Lord Hanumana and his vaanar sena.

>>2914842 (OP)
>We are not allowed to kill these monkeys
No witnesses no crime

>>2915989
NOPE GET THE MONKEY DEFENSE HELMETS HERE COME THE MURDER MONKEYS

>>2914842 (OP)
have you considered that they are struggling too and they need jobs and mobile phones

>>2914842 (OP)
here's a monkey defense helmet from the 40s

No can help. America have own murder monkey problem.

>>2914921
**

>>2917522
Their older ones is better for monkey defense and the gilt style is more in line with pajeet aesthetic tastes.

>>2917392
Ah yes do not dehumanize the monkey

>>2917392
>conservation efforts
Just have to say that if the animal population is relying on humans for food, or is attacking and stealing from humans, your conservation efforts have failed.

>>2914971
Kek

What about pepper spray? Also I'd want some kind of armor for my dick and balls if I was dealing with aggressive monkeys.

>>2914845
The helmets are for the government officials to wear when you drag them out of their homes in the middle of the night and hang them upside down in the monkey huts they installed.

Have you thought about not living where the monkeys are?
Has anyone discussed revolting against their government which apparently cares more about monkeys than people?
Designing a monkey defense helmet is like putting a piece of electrical tape over a check engine light.

>>2914842 (OP)
>we are not allowed to kill these feral vermin, much jail time
Kill them anyway, then kill your would-be jailers and those who sign their paychecks. Repeat until your problems are solved.

>>2914842 (OP)
do this
monkeys will not dare

>>2914842 (OP)
Motorcycle helmet with a visor? Maybe a cricket helmet would work and wear a pair of goggles on top. Duno dude, don't have murder monkeys here but those seem pretty available to everyone, surely in india you could get those.

>>2919995
>Motorcycle helmet
These are very expensive, and for good reason, they must provide serious impact protection. The monkey defense helmet can be made of thin polycarbonate because it is there to protect against biting and scratching only. Also motorcycle helmet offers no neck protection to keep a clawed hand from entering your face area from the neckline.

>>2917572
Are you insane?

>>2914842 (OP)
>>2914842 (OP)
you could give them a sharp grate at the neck so that if monke tries to grab into the helmet without getting past the grate it shaves monke fingers.
like:
H
H
H
H
in a circle, is what it would look like from the bottom
where the middles and sharp and deep ("higher" / inset) so the sharp parts can't touch your neck, but if you dig into it without going past the inner rim you push into knives.
I think this would teach the lessen not to try that after one attempt.

also consider cattle prods to deter them, preferably a kind that you can swing like the hl2 stun batton. give them a lanyard so no monke can steal one lmao

>>2921072
(a lanyard that, if torn off, interrupts the power... money will try to steal it, but without putting the lanyard back in it will not work anymore.)

do monkeys recognize firearms? i used to wave my toy pistol at them as a kid and they would panic and fuck off even from a distance

>>2914842 (OP)
India is such a shithole holy shit
No wonder Indians will do literally anything to claw their way out.
The problem is, Indians caused this to exist in the first place, you cannot escape from your own existence.

>>2917392
Didn't a dog kill a baby monkey in some village, so all of the monkeys went fucking ballistic and started lobbing puppies off of buildings and stuff?

>>2921742
Could've just googled it before I posted to be desu.

>>2914842 (OP)
So, the Indian government is perfectly okay with pollution, but heaven help you if you dare harm vermin? What the hell?

>>2921773
>Hanuman
My front rendering is complete and now my cousins say can manufacture for $5 US dollars each from recycled plastics.

>>2921790
If you cover your head and face, won't the monkeys go after your body instead? Also kind of wondering how a motorcycle helmet wouldn't serve the same function as what you're trying to develop.

>>2917392
>dehumanizing terms
AI is so fucking pozzed. it's a damn monkey you can't dehumanize it

>>2921858
Monkeys bite face and tear ears and gouge eyes. But what can they do to clothed body? Can you get a motorcycle helmet for $5?

>>2921875
>Can you get a motorcycle helmet for $5?
Probably, a chinese one.

>>2921883
>motorcycle helmet
Does not offer protection at the neckline, where a small monkey hand can reach up to scratch face and gouge out an eye.

>>2921890
Reaching up under the helmet isn't instantaneous, if you notice it approaching you in a hostile manner, smack/beat the damned thing. The helmet will protect anything immediately vulnerable for long enough to act against the attacking ape. If I were working outside and one of them decided to start shit with me, I'd have zero issue with bashing its skull in with a shovel. I've done it with vermin before.

>>2921898
>if you notice it
Victims are busy at labors and do not see behind, which is how monkeys approach. And when pack monkeys swarm a victim, noticing does nothing.

>>2922014
It'd still take a few seconds for the monkey to jump on you, get up to your head, reach around to your front, reach all the way under the helmet, and up towards your face. Are you seriously trying to say that in that time span, it isn't possible to grab the monkey's tail, slam it into the pavement, and start stomping?

>>2922085
The point of the helmet is too make living with monkeys more convenient. Stomping is out of the question as illegal.

>>2915846
>>2915847
What are your favorite thirdie industry videos? I saw a particularly worrying one a while back where they were making the sketchiest lead acid batteries I've ever seen, by hand in the middle of the street.

>>2921745
>the solution to feral street dogs is street monkeys

>>2921790
>smoking hole
>very considerate and human design

>>2922090
Yes smoking bidis is the only thing that makes me keep going. As a westerner, you can't imagine the hellish conditions imposed on us by "democratic" government, allowing these vicious monkeys to attack and punishing us when we defend.

>>2922086
>>2922097
Just kill the damn things if they attack and chuck their corpses near a roadway. They're not going to go through the effort of checking whether it was a human or a car that took it out.

>>2914842 (OP)
Why not just make molotov cocktails?

>>2915627
>Just shoot the monkeys.
>>2922085
>slam it into the pavement
>>2922111
>kill the damn things
>>2922113
>make molotov cocktails
Let me try to have better explanation: if a monkey is harmed by a person, even in defense, the pack will swarm onto that person. Although a man might be able to defend against pack, monkeys are worshiped as gods. Human worshipers will report monkey harms to police, who will take the person to jail and pay many fines. The only safe approach is a passive defense like a helmet.

>>2922197
how many human worshippers we talking about?
maybe be better to move out of "monkey-god" zone and let the monkeys have the worshippers...

>>2922197
Tbf, I think that anon intended the cocktails to be for the monkey huts.

>>2917522
it was ineffective monkeys won

>>2914842 (OP)
What about firecrackers? Would they be effective?
You could also make shock traps if you're handy with a welder

>>2922392
When the monkey has your hair wrapped around his hands, how will a firecracker assist? Traps will be found by police and you will get jail.

After more development work with victims, we decided to add a flexible neck shield to eliminate any gaps that the small monkey hand can enter.

>>2914842 (OP)
T M D