Thread 76264043

Has anyone else tried therapy? I think I really need it. I abuse my self, am a drug addict and not doing enough with my life to be satisfied. What about you?

*If you have tried therapy; what was it like? positives or negatives.

>>76264043 (OP)
Haven't tried it. By all accounts it sounds like something you have to extensively shop around for, since most are quacks who only know how to listen to normie women whine for an hour and occasionally ask "how does that make you feel?" This sounds like a massive waste of not only time but also money to me so I don't see any reason to get into it.
If you're determined to try it, try looking into different methods of therapy, see if something sounds good and look for a shrink that specializes in it.

i spent 14 to 28 behind a computer screen doing nothing but working, eating and playing video games

now i'm 32, have a wife, speak 3 languages and go to the gym regularly, all thanks to just CBT (no not cock and ball torture)

yes, you should go to therapy. but you also have to find a good therapist, cause there's a lot of shitty ones out there

>>76264043 (OP)
>if man
no therapy
>if woman
therapy
>I abuse my self
>drug addict
>not doing enough with my life to be satisfied
Stop abusing yourself and stop doing drugs, no ceremony to it, just stop doing it.
Do you have goals? What are your goals?

>>76264043 (OP)
Usually (if you have a good therapist) it's just a session of being asked questions designed to encourage you to think more deeply about either why you are engaging in a behaviour or how to stop, followed by exercises in starting/stopping a behaviour you want to start/stop. Sometimes you'll recieve "tools" on ways of thinking that are different from the processes you find are harming your life. The big thing is the therapy isn't doing anything, it's just laying out a toolset for you to engage actively with.

>>76264089
What'd you change?

>>76264096
pretty much just my way of thinking about myself, other people, the world and how that all interacts. everything else follows from that

>>76264043 (OP)
i went recently to see if i have autism and it was good. the guy really was good as his job i think. it's great to talk about things with someone, even if you are tired to death of thinking about them to yourself, saying them out loud and trying to get a different person to understand you is different, it kinda gets a weight off you. and the other person says stuff that changes it too. i guess it has to be the right person, but therapists are trained for that

>>76264089
I'm so glad you got your act together and ended up in a fruitful and happy living situation. God bless.

>>76264119
:)

I tried therapy for a few months and didn't find that it helped. Felt like my therapist didn't understand me. Also felt like I was talking to a wall, like her approach was to have me monologue rather than engaging in a dialogue. It's probably largely my fault that it wasn't effective because I wasn't honest with her about a lot of things. Will probably give it another go at some point.

>>76264089
thanks I'll look into cbt. Do you have any recommendations for actually a good therapist?
>>76264095
I see. I think that's what I need. Have you tried therapy?
>>76264094
I've sat with my own thoughts for too long, and I can assure you, it hasn't made me any better, or break through to some state where I 'feel right' in society if that makes sense. I have a computer addiction and didn't leave the house between 13-17. I'm socially inept, alone and have anxiety about various things in my life. I also have an ego I want to get rid of. It isn't that easy to just get rid of.

>>76264133
>Have you tried therapy?
yes, and I've jumped therapists a good couple times. Don't be afraid to find a new one if you're not jiving with the one you picked last - everyone has a slightly different method because so many people respond differently to different things. It might take 2 or 3 sessions to see how you feel about a given therapist, which sucks but the same is true of a lot of services so it is what it is. Just remember: you only get out of it what you put it in - if you're dogging therapy and half-assing it, then get out and don't engage with anything you're trying to practice after you're not going to see change. Therapy is mostly a catalyst for making introspection and change easier. Paper is flammable, but it needs a good spark to start burning, ya know?

>>76264089
>speak 3 languages
oh shit we got a genius over here

>>76264133
>Do you have any recommendations for actually a good therapist?
personally i looked for someone who was and MD as well as a licensed CBT therapist cause i didn't want a quack who practiced hippie bunk, and it worked out for me
also just generally investigate their credentials and see how valid the institutions they got them from are
>>76264150
i never claimed to be one, just using it as an example of positive changes i made to my life. considering i only spoke one language before, i think that's a valid example

>>76264129
Save your money. Fuck therapy, just quit being a faggot.

You just need Jesus

>>76264160
you sound very well adjusted

>>76264043 (OP)
I first went to a psychiatrist cause I wasn't doing so well and I didn't exactly know the difference between therapist and psychiatrist. He put me on meds. First I felt better and amazing. Slowly I started to realize how it was just numbing me down. 6 months later I felt so embarrassed and dumb about stuff I did. Then saw a therapist for 5 months. The therapist didn't help a lot but speaking to her made me realize and fix some of the things. I have been doing better and better now. See it for yourself. It takes time. It may not work exactly but you may get to know/fix stuff about yourself. It takes time. Also avoid meds unless strictly necessary if you can. Good luck

>>76264129
find a better therapist and be honest pretty much

>>76264143
thanks ill keep all of that in mind. what changed in how you viewed things primarily though?

>>76264160
>save your money
I'm not poor. The cost of therapy isn't prohibitive for me.
>stop being a faggot
I turn 30 this year. I'm past the point in my life where I think like this.

>>76264168
Yeah I took anti depressants at 16 and it didn't help so I understand. I think it'd feel better to just talk to someone as well, instead of typing everything into a notepad to pretend like I have someone that's actually listening.

Therapy could be useful, IF you have a good therapist. I went through 3 in a 5 month period before I resolved my shit on my own so experience may vary.

>>76264176
I think the biggest shift in worldview was primarily a practice of not obsessing over other peoples thoughts - which isn't to say I started selfishmaxxing or anything, just that I started prioritising myself instead of immediately jumping to the social consequences and perception fears I had. My biggest problem was always stretching myself threadbare trying to juggle everyone ELSE's expectations wants and desires and never taking time to meet mine. Another big shift was how I thought about myself - within my own internal monologue I'd be pretty mean and scathing to myself, for no real benefit. You can still be critical of yourself without actively being derogatory, and the gentler approach makes it easier to recover from mistakes. As much as "you should know better than that you fucking dipshit" and "you're better than this, try again" are functionally the same sentence, the first one presupposes you are fundamentally bad while the second leaves you the room to perceive yourself as either fundamentally alright or even fixable; it's a small difference, but it changes a lot. Your mileage will vary, because of course you're a unique individual with their own thought processes and convictions, but the principle is largely the same: changing the way you think about yourself and changing the way you engage with your surroundings/the world at large.

>>76264189
Well my therapist told me to build stronger support systems because I lacked those. Also wanted me to journal and record voice notes for myself like a video game character. I'll be honest and say I couldn't do it regularly because it made me a little uncomfortable. Also be honest and don't incriminate yourself if you have anything.

>>76264194
I went through exactly this

>>76264085
>I've never been to therapy but let me tell you all about therapy

>>76264197
wow that sounds exactly like me. i really find it hard to love my self or feel like i am deserving of love or being appreciated/acknowledged. i feel like i exist to make others happy and i really care about how they perceive me, even when i don't really feel much for the person at all. if they don't like me it's a big deal to me, for some reason.
>>76264201
okay thanks.

>>76264197
>Another big shift was how I thought about myself - within my own internal monologue I'd be pretty mean and scathing to myself, for no real benefit.
When you internalize 4chan

>>76264224
>i feel like i exist to make others happy and i really care about how they perceive me, even when i don't really feel much for the person at all. if they don't like me it's a big deal to me, for some reason.
Practicing internal validation is tough, but it gets easier the longer you do it. Don't forget, you won't be perfect every time, and the whole "2 steps forward 1 step back" thing is fine. Even in addiction counselling, relapse is normal - the goal isn't complete perfect change, but improvement. Keep your goals achievable, but high enough you still feel like you're accomplishing things.

>>76264043 (OP)
Didn't try it myself, since the downsides outweighed the possible benefits (among other things, I would have had to get a shrinks permission for my drivers license if I'd gotten a dx). But from the research I did back then, and talking to some shrinks I know irl, there's basically two approaches that are widely used. One where they pump you full of meds and tell you to fake being normal, and one where they try to figure out the source of the problem and fix it. Neither one really works, apparently, while the one thing that seems to work at least short term is hard work and being in nature. Classic "touch grass". That's then followed by behavioral therapy (aka faking being normal, or "manning up").
I know, it sounds like I'm trying to troll, but that's actually what I was told was the best treatment, by a guy who treats mentally ill criminals for a living.
For me personally, it worked out. Hard training, hiking to exhaustion on my free days, pain when exhaustion wasn't enough, and forcing myself into the situations I wanted to be in by basically ignoring fear and discomfort worked.

I had a midlife crisis and took unpaid time off of work to straighten my head out over the divorce rape I just went through. The therapist was a 22 year old child. I’m talking to her about how my life sucks and she has nothing to say. Collect the money and not say a word because wtf does an adult child have to say to the shit I deal with on a daily basis?

>>76264266
should have gotten an older male.

>>76264043 (OP)
When my shrink told me I was perfectly rationale for wanting to kill myself, I stopped bothering with therapy. Take things one day at a time and find ways to hold yourself accountable. I didn't need a shrink to tell me that, I just inherently knew it and refused to do it.

Three years ago I was an absolute mess, and while I'm not perfect today my life is substantially more ordered. I thought my life was unironically over due to some big family drama, but it was merely just a setback. I stopped going outside, I stopped exercising, and I stopped going to my classes. Just picking yourself up off your ass is enough to fix things in your life. No one else will do it for you.

I might need it but as other anons wisely pointed out I'm not a woman nor a faggot

>>76264254
>But from the research I did back then, and talking to some shrinks I know irl, there's basically two approaches that are widely used. One where they pump you full of meds and tell you to fake being normal, and one where they try to figure out the source of the problem and fix it. Neither one really works, apparently, while the one thing that seems to work at least short term is hard work and being in nature. Classic "touch grass". That's then followed by behavioral therapy (aka faking being normal, or "manning up").
>I know, it sounds like I'm trying to troll, but that's actually what I was told was the best treatment, by a guy who treats mentally ill criminals for a living.

1. Figuring the root causes of problems. Mistreatment, abuse, trauma, dysfunctional dynamics etc
2. Manning up and faking it until making it.
3. Troubleshooting and talking about the problems and challenges that pop up in step 2 and trying to solve them.
4. Repeat number 3 until client no longer needs to come to therapy.

>>76264266
i recommend you sex your 22yo therapist.

>>76264706
When it became clear she wasn’t going to write my employer a note about my ability to work or not, I did start aggressively hitting on her. She blushed in the cutest way.

>>76264706
Unironically a sex with a 22 year old will fix all your problems and it’s the best therapy you can get

>>76264043 (OP)
what the fuck is this board today?
is it just Fucking Faggot Sunday?

>>76264089
wow cock and ball torture works wonders i gotta try it

>>76264043 (OP)
I tried going to a therapist once for depression, and he was just weirdly obsessed with guns. No matter what I said he would constantly redirect to asking me shit like "do you own guns?," "do you like guns?," "if you had a gun what would you do with it?," or "have you ever thought about buying a gun?" He would never accept that I had no interest in guns, but kept asking about it. I had 2 appointments with him, then stopped going. Ended up going to a buddhist temple in my town as an attempt to try anything, and that was much more beneficial.

>>76264774
he was trying to get you to say you'd an hero

>>76264043 (OP)
>therapy
I prefer to goon to BBC vids

>>76264774
he was a fed or freemason

>>76264774
holy kek

>>76264760
In some ways, I agree. I dated a first-year student recently (I'm in my late-twenties), and it was pretty cash. But, in the end, you realize it's more of a distraction than anything else. Helps you feel alive and physically more engaged, but you've also gotta have your shit together in other aspects, too. People who escape into sex instead of addressing the fundamental issues in their lives inevitably grow desperate as they age and the sex naturally slows down.

>>76264777
I think he was trying to make me look like a mass shooter or some shit. He also asked a lot of questions about how much "resentment" I had against people. Like...nah, dude, I was just depressed because I couldn't get a job.

>>76264266
Yeah therapy doesnt work.
9/10 they're just their to absorb your money. Mental health for men isnt real. I recommend getting into philopshy. Start with Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

>>76264102
I am currently trying counselling and we have been dipping into cbt. Every time we try to reframe something I've already done so in advance and she says I do it naturally. I don't really know how to proceed.
Did you ever encounter a similar situation?

>>76264945
is it helping? it sounds like your therapist isn't really a CBT specialist though, just something she's trying out

>>76264043 (OP)
yes. but i found it hasnt helped as much as jacking off to lain porn

>>76264043 (OP)
Did it as a teenager but eventually realized it was me basically hoping someone else would guess what was wrong with me and not blame me for it even though I knew what was wrong with me and didn't want to face it

>>76264973
>is it helping?
Not so far.
We've only done it twice so far and both times she explains how I should view the situation and then I end up saying "yeah I already see it like that" and we sort of just move on. It also feels like a lot of the time we hit on a topic that reframing could be used on and as I'm monologuing about it my description of it must be "correct" as she says I already reframed it, though I don't fully get how reframing works because we've not had a successful attempt yet.

>>76264984
>is it helping
>haha no bro

Asking someone if they have tried therapy is the same thing as asking someone if they have tried Tarot Cards or palm reading

>>76264984
sounds like she doesn't really know what she's doing when it comes to CBT, maybe try another therapist

>>76265011
How does she not know what she's doing though?
Is it impossible to reframe something by yourself or is she somehow doing it wrong from my description?
Because right now it just sounds like we've not hit something I already don't think correctly about and I don't see how that would change with a different therapist.

>>76264043 (OP)
Intensive group therapy helped me tremendously, but my problem was social anxiety rather than addiction so idk if it would help you.

I tried thetapy and it was dogshit, the guy listening to me just nodded his head writing something in his notebook then prescribed me drugs. One day he told me i should go on vacation in Europe instead of wallowing in my sadness. I don't want to try it again.

>>76264774
Very interesting, can you elaborate on how the Buddhist temple helped?

>>76265112
>can you elaborate on how the Buddhist temple helped?
The people I talked to actually listened to the problems I was having, and gave me actionable advice about how regular meditation could help, but that it would take years of consistency to fully overcome things and isn't a solution on its own. I appreciated how upfont and honest they were compared to the therapist. Lifting & meditation together helped me deal with job searching better, & eventually fixed the depression.

>>76265146
Actually fixed it? That's great to hear. I've been meaning to look into meditation.

>>76264043 (OP)
Complete waste of time and money for 99% of people and will likely fuck you up even more if you live in a godless shithole like the USA, ESPECIALLY if you get a retarded female therapist. Please at least don’t get a woman.

>>76264214
He’s right though. Therapy is for retarded normies. Seethe

>>76264771
Kek yes it is. In case you haven’t noticed /fit is heavily infested by pussies, faggots, and tranny abominations now

>>76264043 (OP)
I told my therapist I developed a crush on her and she was way too happy about it. Like ecstatic. What the hell is going on?

>>76264043 (OP)
Therapy is a complete scam and is statistically less effective than doing absolutely nothing. It's all bullshit. Who would have thought paying a kosher retard that thinks he's better than you to pretend to be your friend and prescribe you drugs didn't work at all and was made up bullshit

>>76265189
Therapists don't prescribe drugs, they just listen to your problems.

>>76265189
therapists don't write prescriptions you absolute retard

>>76264043 (OP)
I have. Finished it just recently.
Overall it did help, but I think really the biggest help was just having someone I could talk to about things that there was no way I could talk to anyone I know irl about.
The therapist absolutely found me frustrating because I knew all of my issues and I knew the steps I needed to take to fix them, in advance of going there, but I just seemed incapable of taking the steps. Even now I'm not sure if I've taken the right steps or how much progress I've made.
My overall problem still remains because it's a mental mindset I can't seem to break. The best I've managed to come up with are distractions from it, but I can't keep those up 24/7 and whenever there's a period of no distraction I slip right back into it.

All in all I would encourage anyone who thinks they need it to give it a try.

>>76265189
This. And therapy notoriously does not work for men. Men fix their issues by, well, fixing their issues. Not whining about them to some crackpot.

>>76264129
>I wasn't honest with her about a lot of things
>Felt like my therapist didn't understand me.
You won the stupidest poster of the thread award.

>>76265189
>"I hate therapy!"
>doesn't know what therapy is

>>76264043 (OP)
read that smoking book i see shilled here. thats what therapy is gonna be like. cbt is basically stoicism+conditioning/behaviorism. good luck
if u were only not satisfied with ur life u would be given cognitive restucturing treatment so u ,,are now'' but since being junkie is socially inconvinient, that smoking book approach will be likely case

>>76265197
>>76265205
fucking retards

>>76265337
>it's this epic pseudo-science you see that statistically does not work or have any benefit and actually has less effect than simply doing nothing but because I got pills that killed my brain and am a junky I think it's amazing and will be very aggressive with you if you suggest my drug dealer is anything other than my guardian angel!

>>76264043 (OP)
If you suffer from some real shit like actual OCD, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can do wonders.

>>76264043 (OP)
Generalized talk therapy doesn't work.
Specialized therapy for ocd, behavioral disorders, drug abuse tends to have better results but no one wants to pay for that stuff.

Therapy is essentially a husband replacement for modern women. That's all there is to it.

Women will literally have a mental breakdown if they don't have anyone to talk to and yap about their problems with.
Like, a serious mental breakdown. That's why they cut their arms, get tattoos or get on drugs (prescription or not), or go on a slutting spree trying (and failing) to nag a man.
They need to talk about their problems THAT bad or they literally go insane.
That's why they keep these "male friend" beta orbiters around. They get the emotional free labor of a husband/father from them with none of the obligations.

In a sane and healthy society that role would be taken by their fathers, and after marriage it'd be their husbands.
There'd be no "dating" before marriage and none of this "boyfriend for years on end" nonsense relationships that lead nowhere.
But because we don't live in a traditional society anymore millions of women can't find or keep a man to fulfill that role.

And thus therapy was invented to keep women from killing themselves from not having a family while they work their asses off contributing to the GDP and generating tax revenue.
Therapy is a fake solution designed to maintain a dysfunctional and unnatural situation going.

Screencap this shit and repost it next time someone talks about therapy.

>>76267455
unc thought he cooked with ts

>>76265189
>Who would have thought paying a kosher retard that thinks he's better than you to pretend to be your friend and prescribe you drugs didn't work at all and was made up bullshit
You are an absolute moron spewing bullshit when you have no idea how therapy works. Therapists aren't even allowed to prescribe drugs.
>statistically less effective than doing absolutely nothing
Post your sources.

>>76268112
>hurr durr they dont prescribble druggibbles
shut the fuck up retard

>>76267413
and we wouldnt have to if the united states had free health care

>>76268126
>no argument
>sources still not posted
I accept your concession.

>>76268126
youre probably thinking of psychiatrists dumbfuck

>>76268144
>free
all the doctors just volunteer their time for free then do they? or do you mean poor fucker healthcare subsidized by responsible people with jobs lol

>>76268180
>reddit told me blah blah blah i read on reddit that well actually that's a psychflippilibble not a psychonaut and theyre--
shuuuuut the fuck up

>>76268184
half the people that use this website are neets so not like it matters in terms of quality

Anons who have been to more than one therapist: what do you think is more important, the modality or the therapist's personality? Also, can you describe how exactly therapy helped, like what did it look like day to day?

>>76268199
it doesn't help anyone dude people just get over stuff over time then mistakenly attribute that to the therapy they did when it would have happened the same way if they had done absolutely nothing. you believe in a lie