Well?

i pee in the stall cause i cant pee around other people

With suicide grip

>>76269483
kek
>>76269484
double kek

Bulgarian split piss with one leg 'pon the urinal like Captain Morgan

>>76269478 (OP)
>pissing alone handsome?

>>76269680
>heh, uh, d-do you come here often? heh
What? Are you talking to me?
>h-heh, n-no homo b-brah
>*flush*
>bet that fag was cockmirin'
>no homo

>>76269680
>turn around and its a big black gay giganigga
Top 10 worst nightmares

>>76269478 (OP)
Uh sumo? I have to pull out my cock like a rolled up garden hose. Still an I cel even though I’m endowed.

>>76270243
>nightmare

>>76269478 (OP)
I guess this is the thread to ask. Anyone else have issues with a bigger than average penis and peeing in urinals?
>have to aim very carefully or else you splash all over since the distance from your tip to the urinal is shorter
>can never fully empty the shaft. Always seems like some drops are left in the shaft and it dribbles out and leaves a wet mark
>takes a lot of adjusting to get your penis back into your pants. You have to slide it back down your pants and position it just right on the side of your leg. Makes you look like youre jerking off

>>76270329
I literally flail my dick around to get every last bit of piss out.

>>76269480
not only this, but my dick curves upward and so does my urethra, can't use them without splashing all over myself

>>76270405
Like violently shaking it like a chicken youre trying to snap its neck?

>>76270329
1. just stand a couple of inches back
2. to empty it properly you have to press up and forward behind your balls and squeeze the piss out of your dick, no matter the length
3. nobody is looking at you to notice that it takes you a few more seconds to put it away, and if they do they still don't give a fuck

>>76270329
I'm 7 inches and I never touch my dick when I piss. I'm paranoid about getting some kind of infection from dirty hands or something. I just flop it out, piss, bounce it on the waistline of my pants to shake it off, turn 360 degrees and walk away. To fix the dribble issue just flex your hips and glootz after shaking, then shake again. Most I get now is a single drop which is whatever.

>>76270429
Yes

>>76270460
>he doesnt wash his hands before taking a piss

>>76270489
Legit never considered this

>>76269478 (OP)
I fart when I piss, is this a thing? Usually at the end of my squeeze. The muscles come naturally aligned to do this.

>>76270523
I mean it happens but definitely not every time simply because I don't fart that much

>>76270329
>have to aim very carefully or else you splash all over since the distance from your tip to the urinal is shorter
you're talking about the tip being like 3 inches closer to the urinal than usual, how is that a problem?

>>76270546
If you don't aim just right it splashes. If you step back other people can see your cock. If theres leftover piss or water at the bottom of the urinal from plugging or slow drainage gg.

>>76270563
it's a couple of inches nigga, and who cares if other men can see your cock. Also I've always pissed againste the lower part of the wall in urinals, never directly on the bottom

>>76270563
i dunno that sounds like a universal experience
i really doubt that's exclusive to people with big dicks

ITT: retards who don't even know how to piss properly without basic instructions. Has /fit/ become the lowest IQ board?

>>76270576
Optimal pissing is not taught, it's learned. The same goes for optimal pooping.
>inb4 he doesn't even own a poop stool

>>76269478 (OP)
I have to pee in a stall because of some embarrassing shit
>My dick is bigger than average but not too big so I'm afraid of people thinking I'm semi hard
>I don't empty my urethra properly and if I don't do weird shit I end up leaking little droplets of piss like an old man
>I have to push (I end up farting in the process) and I have to move my dick in weird angles
>I like pissing with my pants all the way down

>>76270576
>Has /fit/ become the lowest IQ board?
it only looks that way because stupid anons aren't afraid of asking stupid questions to have a chance to improve, but in reality this place is not nearly as dumb as boards like /v/
>>76270587
>t.
actually I take it back, at least Butters isn't a pussy about it

>>76270576
it’s become infested with poos and niggers
what do you think?

>>76270585
Especially wiping. Too many people wipe front to back and leave shit up their ass Crack. Or even worse, they crumple instead of folding

>>76270585
Literally every poop is stool

>>76270907
>Too many people wipe front to back
I can't comprehend why anybody does that

>>76270962
Girls are taught that so they dont get shit in their vagina, which shouldn't happen anyways

>>76270329
I usually stack two of the manlet pissing stools and stand on them, it's just a bit more difficult when I've got a boner as it's harder to keep it aiming down

>>76270981
wait I misread it as back to front, you mean to tell me that I'm supposed to pass below my pissy dick and wipe towards my balls? Or do you still reach from the back but wipe forwards (sounds uncomfortable)?
It doesn't matter much to me since I almost always use a bidet right after anyway, but I want to understand why that's better

>>76271009
Reach from the back and wipe towards the front. It only makes sense to do it this way as its the most ergonomic and functional

>>76271029
nah I don't believe you, you are telling me that in pic related the method at the bottom is more efficient?

>>76271055
The bottom is your arms natural movement path foward, the top youre moving your arm away.

With the bottom you get more control and force letting you really get in there and clean it up

>>76271063
ok it might make sense, I'll try it on my next shit

If you didn't pull your pants down to your ankles you didn't do a full piss

okay i advice you all anons who dont piss sumo to take a look at the ground under public urinals. You fellas are always standing in a puddle of piss. Because most people cant aim or have to short dicks or whatever. But really i noticed it once and now i see it every time im at the urinal, everyone, and i mean really literally every public urinal has a puddle of piss under it, except if you go in directly after the cleaning stuff was there. Now i stand sumo everytime, because even if i dont see the puddle immediatly its just becasue of the lightning in the room i cant spot it. But i advice everyone here to stand sumo

>>76271114
>Because most people cant aim or have to short dicks or whatever.
I always thought it was because old guys with prostate troubles just have piss dribble out like a water fountain in the park.

>>76271114
>>76271121
Oh, also, the verb for advice is advise. Advice is strictly a noun.

>>76271121
that plays a part of it too, probably, but still dont want to stand in a pisspuddle, wether old or young
>>76271123
thanks for the constructve criticism, im obviously an esl, so i will tak that into account next time i use this word

>>76269480
Same. I literally can't do it. The one time I tried it I got molested by an older guy when I was 14. He came to the stall next to me, looked at me, I nudged closer to the urinal, he moved me back and grabbed my little dick and jerked me off as I slapped him off me and ran out. Never again.

>>76271159
I was just grabbing a black widow off your pesnis, boy.
You should be thanking me

>>76270962
I did that for the longest time because I didn't want to wipe while sitting for fear of touching the poop water. So I stood up to wipe, and in that configuration it's much more natural to wipe front-to-back.

I'm a sinkpisser

i would like to ask a potentially retarded question

do most guys really touch their dick when they pee?
i literally never do, I can tell where it is going to land and I just stand in the correct spot, or I use the lip of my boxers to aim it. I have 0 idea why anyone needs to actually hold their dick.

it also makes regular interactions gay because of the number of men that don't wash their fucking hands.

>>76270604
This is the only acceptable way.

>>76269478 (OP)
By whipping out a rock hard boner and pissing with testosterone inducing confidence. Ain't a soft spot on my body, bro.

>>76272126
Need to pull back the foreskin unless the goal is to have a very unpredictable stream direction.

>>76269484
Best one

>>76269484

>>76271159
hot

sumo coz pissoirs are so low and i have a small cock

>>76269484
>5 minutes
That's a really good edit for that amount of time.

>>76270907
In both cases, the answer is to do both, you midwit. You fold the tp into however many squares you ripped, and then crumple that super-square. You wipe back-to-front and then with the next one you wipe front-to-back. No wonder civilization is going backwards when I have to explain this, DO I NEED TO TELL YOU HOW TO FLUSH TOO!?

>>76273969
Saar what is this flush you speak of

>>76270585
>poop stool
I bought into this meme and it changed my life.

>>76273969
Why would you ever crumple?

My dick becomes incredibly small after working out. Makes me a little ashamed when I go to the sauna afterwards.

>>76270585
Using mine right now. Squatty Potty®

>>76270576
>become

>>76275138
Same I always have a micro dick after a workout and I normally have an average sized dick. Takes half an hour or so for the blood to get back to it

>>76270576

Become? nigga you're arguing on a anime porn website sub-forum what the fuck do you think

>>76269480
Just let go

>>76269484
Reminds me of that Poison comic lol.

>>76269480
same, I cant even in a stall when theres other people too close or making noise

>>76275333
My balls look like that until i relax

>>76269478 (OP)
For me it's standing sideways facing my neighbor with my dick bent 90 degrees

>>76269480
Even if I’m completely alone and my TV is too loud I can’t pee, but I do it fine if I’m drinking. I know it’s in my head but I can’t do it unless I am about to burst open.

>>76272327
>Need to pull back the foreskin unless the goal is to have a very unpredictable stream direction
Remember most posters are amerigolems and don’t have foreskins.

>>76275133

>>76269478 (OP)
I sometimes sit to pee, i can't be arsed to stand every time.

>>76269478 (OP)
It depends on how wild my stream wants to be. If I need to lock in and control 2 streams I'll go sumo.

>>76272126
Guys who haven't been mutilated have foreskin, as someone else already posted. Also guys who have sex sometimes have very unpredictable pee flow. It seems you don't have either of these problems.

>There are motherfuckers in this thread that wipe their ass back to front
Please for the love of God, tell me you are either american or underage.

>>76269478 (OP)
only children, women, and homosexuals say the word "pee"

>>76277225
>he wipes front to back like a woman

>>76273947
boomer moment
>>76270576
become?

>>76276716
He has committed a felony

>>76277350
Peepee

>>76275378
Lemme get aaaaaaaaaaa, two number 7s and a side of number 5, kid's size.

>>76270449
>2. to empty it properly you have to press up and forward behind your balls and squeeze the piss out of your dick
This
You have to press on the part of your dick that's inside your body.

>>76273947
Thanks