It's the start of the week again, take a deep breath in, hold it and exhale

Were you thinking of giving up today? No you weren't. You made it through last week, you'll make it through this one as well

What are your goals for this week? What do you plan to achieve? List it all down.

Take a deep breath, hold it and exhale, move at your own pace

We're ALL gonna make it

The motivation thread is open

Last week’s thread >> 76376026

Morning preparation for the world
quote today i will meet the arrogant the ungrateful the dishonest
action visualize the worst
say to yourself it is not personal my mind stays free

Soft breathing physical wu wei
quote the flexible man lives
action inhale 4 seconds exhale 6 seconds
relax jaw shoulders hands
think i yield i do not resist i do not break

Control vs indifference
quote some things are up to us
action write 3 things you do not control label them indifferent
write 1 thing you can control label it action

Neutral walking no destination
quote he who walks without aim arrives everywhere
action walk 5 to 10 minutes no phone no purpose
observe do not judge
think this too is tao let it pass

Detachment from self
quote we do not belong to ourselves
action imagine yourself from the outside
think i am not my thoughts they pass like clouds

Evening lightness check
quote calm is the master of disturbance
action write 3 moments of disturbance today
ask did i resist or let go
evaluate how much energy you preserved

Conscious silence
quote those who know do not speak
action 30 minutes of total silence no speaking no internal narration
just observe
think the world does not need my opinion right now

I start my summer vacation at the end of this week and it has been bothering me a ton because I have nothing planned nor anyone to do anything with.
I have like one grand to spend having fun, buying something I want or going somewhere cool but I dread thinking it will be just two weeks of 4chan and being a couch potato. Goddamn it.

>>76432704
Travel alone. It's a ton of fun and depending on where you live, you can visit some really cheap places.

This may be due to sleep deprivation and delerium from a really bad migraine, but a couple of things clicked for me this morning.
There are 22 more Mondays to wake up to in 2025. You can entirely change your life in about half that time.
Min/maxing is a nice thought but rarely achieveable outside of highly controlled environments like vidya games, and even then RNG can fuck you over. Min/maxing is distraction disguised as productivity. Just start getting your hands dirty and adjust course along the way. You're going to have to anyway, so might as well get started.
To help eliminate min/maxing mindset, create a list of just about everything you think is feasible to accomplish in a given time frame (a day, a week, a month, a season). Then choose 3-5 things and focus only on that. If you accomplish them, fill in the gap with another thing you previously crossed off the list. Otherwise, don't let other bullshit distract you.
Very basic shit, but sometimes a message reads different in different times.

>>76432688 (OP)
>woke up early so I can lift before work
>procrastinate going to gym to the point I’d have to time it perfectly to make it to work in time
>do one set, fail 4 reps in

I’ll just get it tonight bros. Why am I always depressed in the morning? I wake up in a very low state and eventually somewhere throughout the day it fixes itself but how can I get myself out of it consciously?

>>76432778
Most everyone is different from when they plan to when they execute. You have people developing the most intricate plans or feeling the greatest motivation to do everything they want - fatasses switching to clean foods overnight, addicts quitting their shit cold turkey, students flying high at the start of the semester. And the majority of them fail or barely succeed.
When you plan so heavily, you begin to think in extreme binaries. Your brain was intended to do that for little bursts of time to make life and death decisions, not promote long term positive changes. For every story of triumph, there are hundreds more of failures.
That's not to be demotivating, that's to indicate you're not working in a system that benefits you, and you should adjust the plan to you, not the other way around. If you're not a morning person, that's fine, just shift other things around to be more accomodating - work out in the evening and focus on intensity if the evening gym goers make you take too long in a longer routine. If you are a morning person but you're low willpower in the morning, evaluate your sleep and start going to bed even earlier.
Those are examples, though, and not specific advice. You are your own person with your own particular set of traits and quirks. What works for me won't necessarily work for you, and vice versa. Just take stock and adjust.

>>76432778
if youre in your teens or early 20s working out in the morning is a lot harder i think. at least for me it was. you need more sleep when youre younger. when you get into your 30s you become retarded enough to be able to start skipping lots of sleep.
it also still takes a lot of effort to build morning workouts as a routine.

i can rec setting an alarm for 45 mins before you wanna wake up, taking a caffeine pill, then just laying back down until it kicks in. then drink some preworkout and get to the gym after another 30 mins or so.

also something weird that works for getting over that procrastination thing for me is putting my socks and shoes on within 1 min after showering. for some reason that gets my brain in the mindset that im going now and i dont just waste time hovering around on the computer. it sounds stupid but for some reason it works for me.

hope something out of what i wrote was helpful anyway

>>76432752
That’s all really good advice. We have plenty of time to improve

>>76432778
Keep your phone in another room or across the room if you can't do that. Out of arms reach.
Have your clothes set out the night before.
If you take or drink anything before gym, have it ready the night before
The idea is to just make everything as easy to do with as little thinking. Just make it to the gym.

>>76432704
There’s nothing wrong with relaxing at home. If you want to do something, take the initiative and go there yourself

>>76433393
Thanks for the reminder fren

I need to survive this week. I told my old man I’d call him

>>76432688 (OP)
Thanks anon
Unfortunately I only did 2 sets today instead of 3

>>76434082
You can always try again tomorrow :)
Doing something is better than doing nothing

My boss and coworkers definitely know that I’m retarded. But I’m going to work hard so that I’m not a total liability

Whoever mentioned complex trauma in the last thread you have opened my fucking eyes, i KNEW something was wrong with me i just had no idea what and why. It's all coming together. And i'm fucking suprised that i still manage to come back from this shit, slowly but surely. It's so fucking hard.
Spent Sunday evening in the bath with beer and Alice in Chains playing for like 3 hours

>>76432688 (OP)
>decide to make a fb dating account again
>swiping on anything from teens to 40+ milfs
>literally 10 matches within 20 minutes (my nickname has always been clark kent)
>messaging them trying to start a conversation
>most of them have 1 or 2 sentences that is generic 2ironic4u garbage or complaining about men wanting to fuck on the first message
>can get maybe 5 messages in if i'm lucky
>ghosted
>i'm running the exact same strategy as i was pre-2020 that got me as much sex as i wanted

I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. Am I even doing anything wrong? It feels no different than trying to apply to a fucking job at this point. Are there 11/10 Chads IDK about? WHY is modern dating such a fucking shitshow with women?

>>76434671
Also wanted to add that like 25% of they matches are the ones messaging me first. Some even saying how attractive I am.

Gonna ask for a promotion and raise at work this week. Wish me luck bros.

>>76432688 (OP)
here my brother, the /sig/ archive

sigAnon files 01.2025
Main folder:
https://mega.nz/folder/Lro2TQxT#xGKCfbRYvE5cUkCPZyjzGA

for_my_anons
https://mega.nz/folder/Lro2TQxT#xGKCfbRYvE5cUkCPZyjzGA/folder/L7RDBDBC

Motivational pics
https://mega.nz/folder/Lro2TQxT#xGKCfbRYvE5cUkCPZyjzGA/folder/DmokwDhJ

sig topics
https://mega.nz/folder/Lro2TQxT#xGKCfbRYvE5cUkCPZyjzGA/folder/7nQyyRaS

other files
https://mega.nz/folder/Lro2TQxT#xGKCfbRYvE5cUkCPZyjzGA/folder/CnRA1T5S

>>76434840
Good luck! Make sure to articulate what you contribute

>>76434756

>>76434671

>>76434436
>complex trauma
expand pls?

>>76434671
>fb dating account
facebook now does dating?

>>76435148
Has for awhile now

>>76434671
>>76434756
Imma bitch even further:
>engage in conversations
>women type out fucking war and peace responses
>i do the same and try my best to make a good point
>i get a fucking 1 or 2 word response
I FUCKING HATE WOMEN SO GODDAMN MUCH IT IS UNREAL. WHERE THE FUCK DID EVERYTHING GO SO WRONG AFTER COVID? HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

This shit used to be a great way to establish common ground before setting a date. Now it's a fucking "ick". Modern women will deserve every bit of hate that is coming their way.
>women have FINALLY discovered the red pill and are using it for themselves
>naturally, soon women will experience their own female loneliness epidemic when single moms, coal burners, and tattoos are universally accepted as giving men the ick
The TeaApp leak is completely justified. I wish nothing but the worst for women. I will actively glare at them for dressing like a whore. I will audibly laugh when I see their goofy outfits, tacky makeup, and shitty tattoos. I will make them feel afraid as possible in dark alleys at night. I will undermine them and their shit opinions every chance I can. I will subvert HR to the best of my abilities.

I just finished my second workout. I can barely move my legs, and I feel like I'm going to throw up. To be honest, after finishing, I wondered to myself if this was really the right choice. But then I remembered when I first got my 86. I was so adamant about getting a manual, that I was going to learn it. That I was going to master it. The first time driving it to my brothers house, I white knuckled the wheel the whole time. I stalled like 10 times in a row trying to get out of my driveway. Every hill, every stop sign, every light I was fucking in a panic. When I finally got back to my place, I wondered if I made the right decision; I wondered if it would all be worth it. In a few weeks, driving normally wasn't an issue. Ina few months, I was clutch kicking around cones.

I'll stick with it. Perhaps it will suck. Fuck it, it will almost certainly suck. But it can't suck any more than being a pathetic skinnyfat 28 year old kissless virgin. If my math is right, I'll be back at 190 lbs by december. Perhaps sooner. A year from now I be at my goal weight of 160. I don't know if I'll make it lads. No way back. I just need to stick to it like I stuck to learning everything else I've gotten good at before.

>>76435310
>>>/r9k/

>>76435344
Piss off, cunt.

>>76434852
Thanks so much <3

been mostly not using the cpap and sleeping okay. the increased cardio is helping with that, i think. gonna try recording my snoring tonight to see if that's still an issue.
hormone tests came back and i'm in the normal range, even if on the lower end but i'm nearly 40 and probably didn't take that test under the best circumstances. i'll try again in a few months but not overly concerned.
had an interview last week and thought i did pretty well. had a few questions pop up that i wasn't expecting but i think i handled them okay, wasn't entirely sure to make of it. i think i should get to the next round but i know why if i didn't.
today was just an obnoxiously shit day but i made it through and got my workout in first.
due date for baby trunks is 7 months from now, so assuming no surprises going to be making announcements soon. i wanna make this little peanut proud.
other than that, got a few potential consulting calls lined up, so that could be a few hundred bucks in the pocket.

I WILL NOT GET FIRED FROM THIS JOB
I WILL STUDY HARD
I WILL PASS MY LEVEL 3 CFA EXAM THIS JANUARY
I WILL ESCAPE

Work is literal hell for me right now. I’m working 50-60 hours a week and still don’t have enough time. Every time I do something right, I then make two blunders. I’m pretty sure my boss and coworkers think I’m the dumbest person on the team. But I need to persist. Every day I’ll enter with the mentality that I’ll do the very best I can. When I leave I’ll know that I did everything in my power. I shall persist.

This time studying seems easier. It’s no where near easy, but I can see the summit. I must keep on climbing forward daily, growing stronger and more confident. In order for me to truly cross this mountain, I need one final push. The path lies ahead and I will make it this time.

I tried to pr last Saturday but failed miserably. Cortisol and suboptimal living standards have weakened me physically and mentally. I need to continue lifting, but I won’t be truly strong until this trial over. Appreciate all of your prs and gym sessions. One day you’ll lose that freedom.

Best of luck on your journeys frens. Even if we are climbing through hell, we must stay strong and move forward inch by inch. Heaven awaits us. WAGMI

>>76435335
Keep at it fren! There may be days where you don’t want to or feel sick. But as you keep on moving, you’ll reach your goal eventually

>>76435651
>I WILL NOT GET FIRED FROM THIS JOB
>I WILL STUDY HARD
>I WILL PASS MY LEVEL 3 CFA EXAM THIS JANUARY
>I WILL ESCAPE

You need to rephrase your affirmations.

>Was excited to start exercising again after being in a work trip
>what's this headache?
>no voice today
>It's a fucking cold
The fact that we only get like 6 days of paid sick leave leads to this shit.
Sick people coming to the office infecting everyone.
This shit fucks

>>76435938
I WILL SURVIVE IN THIS ROLE
Better fren?

Diamonds are formed under pressure. I will become stronger from this experience

>>76435310

>wake up
>procrastinate
>clean room
>lift weights
>go outside for vitamin D
>shower, brush teeth
>5 eggs + supplements
>clean the kitchen
>study
every day is the same. I'm going insane. disciplinemaxxing bros, how do you cope?

>>76437615
go for a walk, find a run group or something nearby so you interact with people

>the chick that I'm "rizzing up" as the kids would say is starting to give in
according to my calculations I'm at a 50/50 chance of success right now and she's a special one, gonna go all-in very soon

>>76437615
lucky you, sounds comfy
I'm waking up running out the room to get to work ASAP

>>76435981
10g vit C
~2,5g NAC
real honey
garlic

>>76435145
Basically if you had continous neglect/abuse early in your life your brain gets rewired in a way that helps you survive that time but it actively damages you in the long run. If you have attachment issues, if you're unable to build any relationship with people and instead prefer to self-isolate even if it hurts you (the desire for intimacy yet the fear of it), if you have an extremely low self-esteem and anxiety/depression, if you're abusing drugs or alcohol, if you have sudden outburst of anger, if you ever wondered what the fuck is wrong with you and why the fuck you're like this, you most likely have this shit. Or at least, that's what i understand about it. This shit has been eating me alive for decades.

>>76435551
Keep on improving your sleep. The older I get, the more I value high quality sleep. Don’t get discouraged if you fumble an interview. Use it as a learning experience for the future. As long as you keep applying, you’ll find something eventually. Become the type of father baby trucks will emulate :)

I just gave my two week notice to my shitty retail job. I would wake up at 3:30 am walk to work, to get there by 5 am and work till 9am. I was there for 5 and a half years, and everyone else got to move up due to nepotism, friends and government assistant programs. While I did all the work.
After work I would buy a shit load of junk food, come home eat some junk food, go on 4chan, look at more and more depraved stuff, fap, pass out, get up have dinner, play video games till 11pm go to bed then repeat. I realized I needed to change my life.
The security guard at work would give me advice but I would ignore him. He told me to do a pros and con list of this job, the only pros was I get paid, and walk to work. I would say socializing would be a pro but my co workers are all two faced backstabbers, except for one. The cons was everything else. The pro/con list really gave me the push to quit.
. I was worried about quitting and going back to being a recluse, but I realize that in those 5 and a half years I did jack shit.
I am going to take control of my life. No buying junk food/fast food, no more gundam models/ warhammer minis until I get the stuff I have done, get fit, get a passport, find people to talk to, volunteer, find a out door club/sports club, hobby club.
Today I just did 12 laps around my local park, lifted weights(some curls), did 15 minutes of Miku fitness boxing, shaved, showered, made a sandwich, all before 9 am, so I did more with my time unemployed than I did at this job. Right now I am going to go out and walk around a river trail.

Bros can you guys post the /fit/ achievements chart? It's been circulating for more than a decade and I want to print it.

>>76438407

>>76438344
Inspiring.

>>76437964
a shitty childhood almost killed me, anon. i get what you're saying. it's hard. working out and eating better has been really good for me all in all tho. it uses the energy you'd have used doing drugs or whatever self-destruction that is used to cope.
hope shit goes well for you, anon. we're all gonna make it.

>>76438538
Thanks a ton

>>76438703
I'm getting much better but it's really hard.

>>76432688 (OP)
i have an interview tomorrow mad fucking nervous about it, but i think im hiding it deep inside. did some prep hope it goes well.

if this goes tits up might as well go do a waitering job in the mean time and just focus on grinding programming projects. i am being a pussy about doing the waitering job thinking "BuT I haVE a DeGReE" and scared of being judged. I have applied for masters locally and hoping an international option opens up. still waiting on a response on the latter.

also was in a car accident a few months earlier and found out all the funds were paid by the medical aid so im really happy
about that. recovery went great and back to training now. although just want to do a visit to a biokinetist and have them check if everything is ok

Bros, I failed. I started working for a local family run construction company and the work and the heat totally kicked my ass. I probably got a heat stroke and feel battered and like I'm about to throw up.

Started the day moving a bunch of boards, simple enough, but i was tired 20 minutes in. Ever since then I was in survival mode and moving 3x as slow as the other guys. I can't take the heat. I am probably going to not show up tomorrow, and if I do, definitely won't the next day. The guys i worked with are cool but I just can't do it bros.

>>76439412
>I am probably going to not show up tomorrow
Not sure how this work where you are, but at least tell them you would like to work but it totally killed since it was too much too fast.
and not just don't show up without any word letting these guys wondering

>>76437782
Good luck! You’re a catch, she’d be stupid to say no

When I see this wojak I think about the
>you will get a gf in 2013
Wojak and remember it's 2025.

>>76434671
>It feels no different than trying to apply to a fucking job at this point.
Because a lot of women are HR ladies they treat everything else as a job, because this is quite literally all they know how to do. For reasons why that's so ridiculous, it would be like a plumber only dating women with clean shitters, or something.

>>76435344
Total simp death.

>>76434671
>i'm running the exact same strategy as i was pre-2020 that got me as much sex as i wanted
>is modern dating such a fucking shitshow with women?
Dating and looking to hook up are not the same thing you retard. They were right to dumpster your dumb whore ass.

>>76439412
how fat and how much of a neet are you?
drink electrolytes not just water
call the employer to tell him you're not gonna come tomorrow because you got sick from the heat

>>76438344
You’re making all the right moves. You better thank that security guard, he gave you good advice. Work sucks but you can definitely find something better. In the meantime, focus on improving yourself. If you’re worth anything later, you’re worth something now

>>76439458
I was going to let them know that I didn't want to go on. Our families are sort of acquainted
>>76439517
I am absolutely a neet but I'm like 5'11, 180 pounds. They brought body armors, but even after like 3 of them and plenty of water it made no difference. Somehow, this afternoon I've shat my guts out but have barely pissed. I guess the heat sweat all the moisture out of me

>>76432688 (OP)
>decided to download tinder at the age of... 30
>see my ex
>they seem to be doing well for themselves
>meanwhile i have been unemployed for almost a year now
>struggling with alcoholism again
>so fucking tempted to message them knowing damn well they want nothing to do with me ever again
>feel disgusted at myself for even using a dating app currently
>then again, i have 0 friends so where else do i go?
I need to change. Seriously, drinking itself isn't bad but if you think you're an alcoholic don't fucking continue. Quit. NOW. This shit will take everything from you and leave you with nothing.

>>76439632
Thank you, I did thank the security guard. He has a lot of good advice. Right now I am not even thinking of work, and just focussing on getting fit. Oh and getting some hobby stuff done.
Also while walking in the park a coyote was wandering around and it was playing with one of those big foam hands that sports fans wear. The coyote then tore it into chunks. Then when I was going up the park stairs the coyote passed me going down the wheel chair ramp that criss crosses the stairs. I need to bring a camera next time.

Be the white man Yakub built you to be

>>76438983
Best of luck on your interview! Remember to smile and give specific examples. There's no shame in taking a job so you can pay your bills. But keep on grinding so you can get a programming job. Be grateful that you weren't seriously injured in your accident

>>76432778
>i wake up in a very low state
https://sleepytime.cc/ make sure you're not waking up mid sleep cycle, you'll feel like hammered shit. Use that website to figure out when you should wake up (or if your wake up time is non-negotiable use it to see when you should go to bed). When you wake up take a multivitamin and drink a couple of cups of coffee.

>>76438344
>so I did more with my time unemployed than I did at this job
Careful, you'll run out of things to do and spiral into filth. Unless you have enough productive things to keep you occupied 20 hours a week doing too much in one day is bad when you're unemployed. I say this as a long term unemployed. You gotta space it out.

>>76440400
nta but thanks, checked
unfortunately i don't fall asleep immediately so is this the "fall asleep by" or "go to bed at" time? it's very variable too

>>76439685
You did manual labour in hot weather and shit yourself. You are dehydrated. Drink water and keep drinking water until you start pissing normally again. Have a nap or go to bed super early. When you stop sweating is when you're *dangerously* dehydrated and need to worry. Also, if you're working construction don't be afraid to take all your upper body clothing off when you're too hot (or wear a vest). Everybody working on site knows the score and unless you look weird they won't say anything.

>>76440435
I don't instantly fall asleep either unless I'm completely exhausted. I would think about how long it takes me to fall asleep and factor that into the times I input. So "I have to get up at 7 and I want 7 hours of sleep and it takes me 2 hours to fall asleep so I go to bed at 10pm"

For the past couple of months I've been using mirror modeling from psychology to help me be consistent with my workouts and with life in general. It's really working out so far.

>>76440469
>don't be afraid to take all your upper body clothing off when you're too hot
Do not, the sun directly on your skin will dehydrate you faster

>>76439412
There’s no shame in quitting a manual labor job, your description makes it sound intense. Rest up tomorrow and see how you feel. Give it one final try and then give up if you really can’t. You can find easier ways to make money

I was with a woman for a while, things ended and we both got on with life. It happens.
After about 2 years she reached out to me
>I got to tell you something. I had an abortion and I was scared you would hate me blah blah blah
Like what the hell am I supposed to say back to that? I just said okay and got off the phone. She tried reaching back out but I have nothing to say.
Today at work a guy that knows her came up to me
>She really does care about you thats why she reached out blah blah blah
I just told him to stfu, and he acted shocked that I would be so rude.
I don't know lads, I don't have anything to say but its crazy to me she said I killed our unborn child and now I'm the bad guy to some dude I barely know because I don't want anything to do with her after not having anything to do with her for the better part of the previous two years.

>>76440533
I sometimes forget the internet is a global forum. Here in Ireland it's common to see shirtless builders and I was speaking from that. If you live in a superhot place then ymmv. Though I would argue it's a balancing act to which will dehydrate you first: the insulating properties of the clothes on your body or going topless.

It's hard some days, anons.

Had a hard period that caused me to stop eating healthy, working out and doing yard work. Just got back into it again, live sucks sometimes but I gotta keep going. My yard looks like shit so I have plenty to do now.

>>76439697
>>see my ex
>>they
>themselves
>them
nigga what

>>76439954
thanks for the tips anon. yes i am very grateful. couldve ended up really badly. how have things been your side?

Finally got a basic home gym set up in the attic. It's been over 2 years since I moved and had to give up my garage gym.
As long as the floor doesn't collapse I'm good!

>>76439468
thanks, that's what my mom says too!

>>76438220
thanks fren.
i'm nearly 40 so i get it. i probably should just use the CPAP but i fucking hate the idea of it. i seem to sleep better with improved cardio so a 5k a few days a week isn't a huge pain.

as for the interview...yeah i dont even think i fucked up just would have liked a redo on two items that i didn't even screw up just could have been better about.

Its hit me recently that I get nothing from this site.
No new discussion about routines or form.
Dietary advice is all inane zoomer shit parroted from Tiktok.
Browns and israelis posting coombait all the time.
For every 10,000 posts, maybe one has anything worthwhile to consoom. That tells me it's time to go.

>>76439697
I’m sorry you had to experience that but hopefully that gives you the wake up call necessary to improve. You can turn your life around

I didn’t get that potential WFH job that’s supposedly desperate for hires and doing hiring events every other month. I have applied several times now. I’ll continue to apply I guess but I did some introspection and the conclusion I came to is I need a job that’s I give a shit about. Like the purpose of it means something to me. Preferably I could make money on social media related to something I’m passionate about, but just like every other goal I have I feel I can’t even truly get that started with my current jobs schedule.
Ultimately beyond anything, money pussy etc, I need to find a reason to wake up every morning. I had that, where I would open my eyes at 4am and jump out of bed, but that was nothing long lasting (was chasing pussy). Idk what that thing or those things are.
I hate the idea of a 9-5. It’s the safe option. But it’s gay. The same sort of argument could be made for fitness. You could get injured or even die exercising, staying out of shape is the safe option, but it’s gay and still kills you anyways.
I wish I was in a position to dump absurd amounts of money into stocks, crypto, sports betting, and to pay to have social media boosted to the point I could start affiliate marketing. It’s not that I don’t want to work, I hated not having a job, I just want to give a shit about what I’m doing and preferably be my own boss. I’m really thinking about trying to
>rolling 48s to get lean faster, go hard with lifting to build good body
>use any free time to fish w/gopro
>start spamming tiktok YouTube and Instagram
>see if I can grow it utilizing thirst traps where I hold my catches shirtless
>grow it to where I make $3500/month, then quit job focus on that
>get a boat and start selling charters and make more content with that, try to scale where I only take the boat out 10 days a month
The most I have is fishing and I ain’t even done that in 5 months now. It doesn’t get my soul hard tbqh. Idk what the point of any of this is.

>>76442119
I don't know how old you are, but I'm nearly 40 and I understand the desire for purpose in work.
I've worked shitty line cook jobs. Let it turn me into an alcoholic drug addict.
Spent six years in the Navy. Oversaw the Arab Spring and our government lying to have an excuse to get involved with Syria.
7 years at a startup going from entry level to director and managing 20 people. Refused to offshore my team so they canned me and my team and reshored them anyway. After not being allowed in the office for a year for refusing the vax.
Been at a jeet tech farm for the last three years. Walls are closing in there, they're all retarded and nothing gets done.

Purpose in a job is ultimately retarded. Fulfillment comes from family. Got married, have a kid on the way, and that makes me give a shit about the grind and getting better as I get into my 40s. In my late 20s I was pivoting to a new career and had massive success. But I couldn't find a wife until I found God and ultimately an inner peace that had been missing since I left the church in my teens.

Job for almost a year, permanent employment. Chill place, chill people, shit pay. Bought an apartment, it's a new building but quality is shit, upstairs neighbor is the Balrog or some shit she can't fucking behave. Bought a second car (i know i should save to move into something better but I need a hobby; I find no joy in videogames). Been losing weight lately, no longer obese. Lifts have remained the same as I've lost 20 kilograms over the last 2 years. Depressed friend has pulled me into drinking with him a lot more lately and it's been really stunting my progress in life and work, gonna have a talk with him soon.
All in all, I can no longer be considered a societal failure but I feel just as hollow and vagabondy as I felt when I was an alcoholic unemployed fat(ter) piece of shit. Gonna try my hand on long mountain hikes in the weekends soon if I get some time off of work (have been putting in 7 days a week for most of this year in order to buy that 2nd car). Is the final redpill starting a family? 29 y/o.

>>76442215
>Depressed friend has pulled me into drinking with him a lot more lately

support your friend but don't become a crab in a bucket

>>76432688 (OP)
I love that the world is so shit right now a good portion of these threads are related to getting a job than lifting.

>>76439412
The trades fucking blow. I don't care how much or how healthy you eat or how hydrated you are. In my area it's 90+ with 90+ humidity. The air suffocates you the second you walk outside. Now imagine doing that for 8+ hours a day with loud sounds, bad working conditions, dust and God know what else in the air, and the added poisoning/sweating of the portos for 5-7 days a week. No shit you're gonna feel terrible after that; let alone have the energy to workout after that.
>inb4 wull i do it, son. SOFT HANDS
Go take another shooter of fireball in the shitter to cope, tradetard.
Nobody over the age of 30 that isn't running their own SUCCESFUL company likes the trades.

>>76440524
What’s mirror modeling? Do you have any tips?

I start my new job Aug 11th. Down to 183lbs and my lifts and stamina are better. Feeling a faint bit nervous about the new job, but it has to beat the last one I had, not to mention I'll be trained in it. Planning on buying an adjustable set of dumbbells as I am still stuck using a free set at home that loads up to 21lbs per dumbbell. On the bright side I have a mostly visible six pack - still have some gut and loose skin, but the top two packs are mostly visible and very noticeable to the touch, the bottom two are not as easy to see but do show. Things with the GF are going well. Next month marks a year of knowing her and we're close to a year of dating in November. She's going to try to visit in September when she can get the time off of work.

I will not give up and I will learn from mistakes and missteps. I will improve myself with each day and become a man I am proud to be, to be a husband, Father, Friend and Son others are proud to acknowledge. WAGMI.

>>76440623
She sounds like she just wants attention. Move on with your life

Sometimes I feel like places on the internet geared towards "self-improvement" and "accountability" fall into this tendency to become places for people to just spin their wheels. You get guys who've been struggling to do the same thing for years and all they ever get in response is "keep at it". They never really make much progress either, if any at all.

>>76444099
The struggle towards the depths is enough to fill an anon's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy...

>>76440807
This too shall pass. We experience bad days so we can appreciate good days

>this past week, i was on a work/hobby trip
>for once i actually went and did something instead of sitting in my room all the time
>carpooled there with a few guys i know, 6 hour drive

>seemed like everyone there knew each other or multiple people knew each other, except for me
>after getting dropped off at the hotel in the late afternoon or evening, i would sit in my hotel room alone
>or i would just aimlessly wander around the streets outside, do nothing, seeing the people with their friends and families at restaurants or whatever
>people including the carpool guys talk about how they would go to the beach every night with some people, i of course dont get an invite

>monday we spend the entire day at a theme park on the way home
>i dont go on any rides, unlike them, because i have bad motion sickness and im not going to ruin everything getting sick
>the vast majority of people at the park are teenagers or early 20s people there with their friends or family
>most the girls includig the teenagers are dressed like sluts and there with their equally teenage boyfriends
>think about how i never experienced that and how im an outcast even in a place like this

its crazy how ill literally never stop being miserable. i need to kill myself soon.

>>76440954
It sucks that sometimes we need to prioritize other aspects of our life beyond fitness. But now you can jump back into it. What's important is that you can keep going now

>>76444563
lol bro I would fucking roid if that was my body

I am obsessed with making ground turkey burritos in a low carb tortilla. God damn I am going to smash some fucking burritos tomorrow night.

Anyone know how I can get the motivation/courage to commit suicide? I hate being alive every moment but I'm too scared to do it. I'm thinking of asking my parents if they can just come into my room middle of the night and put a pillow over my face and sit on it to suffocate me. I can't see myself getting the courage to jump off a bridge or in front of a train, to buy a gun to blow off my head, or deliberate overdose on something.

>>76445159
Not sure how to even go about obtaining it. Plus I don't think my body could handle it. I'm thrown into abject sympathetic overdrive after training and/or metabolically demanding meals.

Found this among my old pictures! Starting August 1st, I'm back in the saddle... from the umpteenth time

>>76445318
>I can't see myself getting the courage to jump off a bridge or in front of a train, to buy a gun to blow off my head, or deliberate overdose on something.
because you don't actually want to die

This was me a year ago:
>Unemployed, spend most of my time playing video games, usually stoned
>Barely eating, then ordering takeout most days of the week
>vaping 24/7
>watching youtube videos every waking second I'm not occupied with some other media
>masturbating at least once a day, usually 2 or 3 times
>stopped contacting friends, did not contact them for over a year
>did not go outside, did not exercise, anxiety and depression crippling

This is me now:
>Still unemployed
>Quit videogames, spend a couple of weeks improving my life
>Reinstall games, spend 2-3 weeks doing nothing except playing video games, then quit again
>quit smoking weed(took me 3 years)
>quit nicotine
>quit social media
>still wasting time watching youtube videos
>reading a lot more than I used to
>going to the gym consistently
>Usually I quit after 5 weeks, but this week I made it to 6 weeks consistency
>went on a date last weekend
>went to a house warming party of a friend last weekend
>crazy anxiety but stuck it out and thought I made a good impression

I've been at therapy for a year, made huge strides. I've been frustrated with my loserdom lately, but my therapist keeps gassing me up about the changes I've made so far, telling me I should appreciate how well I'm doing. At the moment the main issue is playing videogames(at this point most of my regular friends are people who play this game). It would be fine if I just played for a couple of hours every day, but I find it very difficult not to play ALL DAY. I've only applied for 3 or 4 jobs in the past 3 or 4 months, the idea of even getting an interview scares me. I have a degree in software engineering, but I'm afraid to go back into the industry after how my previous jobs went.

>>76441405
Congrats on the home gym! I envy anybody who has the space and money to have one

>>76446472
Anon, how old are you?

>>76445618
But I do want to die. I hate being alive. I'm just too much of a scared coward to kill myself, which isn't surprising because I'm also too much of a scared coward to do anything to improve my life or to live like a normal adult. If I'm too scared to even drive a car, there's no way I'm going to be strong enough to kill myself.

>>76446472
i desperately need therapy, well really i needed to be in therapy like 15 years ago or more when i was still a teenager, not now approaching my mid 30s still at the basement of life because its too late and im irredeemable. but truthfully, i cant imagine a therapist really helping me. im already aware of what my issues are but i am incapable of fixing them

>>76441730
The final step to making it is leaving 4chan. /MIS/ AUTISM ANON realized that and left forever. One day I’ll graduate from 4chan

>>76446759
29. Here's how the last 10 years went.

>study Comp Sci
>love computers and programming, hate the people in Tech and the IT industry
>4 year degree, 6 years to actually obtain it
>spent most of these years very unhappy and/or partying too much
>Finally get degree at 24
>work in Tech Support for a year
>get into a software dev job at 26
>move out of parents place, move in with gf
>things are fine for a while, until she had to go abroad to study for a year
>new town with no friends
>60% of work colleagues are pajeets, 100% of them are autistic
>work is 5 days wfh anyway
>pick up smoking weed to relax in the evenings
2 years later:
>every day i wake up, go to a morning work meeting, then roll a joint and play valorant for the rest of the day
>stoned 24/7 at this point
>employer and gf both getting fed up of my shit
>finally get asked to leave my workplace
>ego takes a hit, press panic button on relationship
>move back home, continue being sad, playing vidya, and getting stoned for another year

At some point in the past year I got into therapy. Realized I've been pretty unhappy for most of my life, and my life plans had always basically been centered around whatever my gf at the time was doing, which usually boiled down to me getting a well paying job and providing for them. Never had goals for myself. Now I'm sitting here on the eve of my 30's trying to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life. I want to go back to Uni and study english but that requires a fuck ton of moolah.

>>76446783
As someone who's wanted to die since they were 13 I think I can sympathize. Let's face it: we're not going to kill ourselves. In that case, it's helpful to recognize that the negative emotion we feel is probably going to be part of our lives. All we can do is manage our sadness. Get exercise, foster some friendships, eat well, get a job and learn how to drive so that you can stand up straight with your chest held high. It gets easier.

>>76439458
>>76439517
>>76440603
>>76442380
>>76439412
Update on this job. I did actually end up going yesterday and today, but both days they just sent me home early because of the heat.

On wednesday, I was drilling down boards and only 10 minutes of the direct sun completely cooked me. Before that I was moving boards around, which I had to do one at a time. I physically couldn't handle 2. Today wasn't as hard but I was slowing down and there's rain expected anyways. I have of course been guzzling water and sports drinks constantly, but whatever good they do gets raped by the direct heat.

I suppose i am adjusting to it, but despite what people say about "finding satisfaction" in the work, I just don't give a fuck. I'm only making 10 an hour since I'm new and even with fall approaching I don't see the point in doing this when I could get a regular wagie job, make more, inside with AC, and actually have energy to live life after work. The last 3 days I've been a husk of myself from the heat exhaustion, and regular exhaustion. I'm not afraid to say that I'm not cut out for this.

Semi related, most of the guys working there don't even look buff but damn are they strong. Something like farmer strength or some shit. Anyone know what I'm talking about here?

>>76446941
That's an unfortunate story. But at least you're "only" 29. I'm like this 4 years older. I've pretty much never had any goals or anything I want to do, never really had friendships, never had relationships or sexual/romantic experience, barely even liked or enjoyed anything. It's pretty crazy how I can look back at over 30 years of life and just see that I've really never cared, never bothered, barely participated in life at all, and how a person can just do that and end up like this.

I don't mean to make it sound like a competition like my life is so much worse than yours or something. Just happens when you have a life as worthless as mine that you look at pretty much literally anyone else as having a better one.

>>76446945
<3

for at least some time, I wouldn't do it for the money
you can learn stuff in that field which can help you later in life, if you are willing and open to learn

>Anyone know what I'm talking about here?
yes, that's normal
size =/= strength

>>76446472
Get off the board retard. Even the second half sounds like complete cope. I did the exact same things you have and yet literally nothing has changed. Books etc are the same medium as video games etc, unless you’re doing something with your hands you’re realistically just killing time until you die. That’s all there is to life, and you spend it writing autobiographies on a chink water boarding forum. Wild

>>76442180
That’s a really great post. I need to join a church and find a wife

>>76447207
i dont get it, whats your point?

>>76443654
Good luck in your new job! You’ve worked hard and will succeed in this new role! If you stumble on your path, use it as an opportunity to improve. WAGMI

man FUCK having a job. FUCK getting married. FUCK my in laws. we had it so good. so fucking good. and I was so fucking sad.
I just want to get drunk and do drugs and dance on the street without a care if I'm going to end up in jail or lose my job or wife or department. like I used to. when I hated my life. god how silly I was
lifting weights is the only thing I couldn't do without

>>76447675
Thanks bro. It is the first job I have ever found that made me think "You know, I could potentially make a career out of this." because it sounded interesting. Going to do my best, learn from my mistakes and work hard to succeed.

Wishing you the best in your own endeavors as well, Anon. WAGMI.

>>76445165
I’m glad you have something simple that brings you joy :)

its over there must be losers and winners im the former

Should I wish happy birthday to this girl? It's been over a month since we last talked and I don't even know what date her birthday is just that it's in august.

gf does not mire my gains
_
qt at the flower shop does
__
even squeezed my arm and said that I got bigger one time when buying flowers for my gf
___
gf doesnt even care for the flowers, says they are a waste of money
____
mother of qt at flowershop (family business) talks about how she wishes there were more guys like me so that her daughter could find someone
_____
tfw my motivation at the gym is unironically to get praise from qt and her mother now

>>76445318
If you really want to die, do something cool before you croak. Spend all your money going on a trip or get into fights with strangers

>>76448177
should you leave her? sounds like she is giving you less love than strangers are

i just started a new job and it's remote which is really nice, but the culture seems more woke than my previous office job.

tons of people have their pronouns in their names on Zoom meetings and there are a few they/thems

i'm hoping the woke shit doesn't become an issue, i'm pretty sure that even at a tech company most people think the transgender shit is retarded but nobody is vocal about it in a negative way

>>76448282
oh look another worthless tech faggot

>>76448317
not very nice, bro

>>76448324
thats ok bro, just take pride in your fully remote do nothing zoom meeting bullshit job, stop worrying about pronouns and woke and transgenders that are having literally zero negative effect on your life but you seemingly need to make up being angry about

>>76435335
I started working out 3 weeks ago anon
It actually gets easier as your body adjusts to the sudden change in activity.
Yesterday I finished my workout until failure on some limbs, but I go to planet fitness and use the massage chair after the workout.
I take a lot of recovery supplements before working out.
And I just feel a comfy warm burn as the good stuff is flooding my muscles as they immediately begin to recover.
Once you find your weights, I'd suggest an active recovery day if you want to keep your heart going where you lift like 60% of your normal. Not your max, but your normal.
It's going to be easy and at the end it feels like a nice long stretch.
Whatever that sends more and more recovery juices to your muscles.
embrace the water weight.
My recovery supplement stack:
Whey protein
Creatine
Tart Cherry Powder
Glycine
Vitamin K2+D3
Collagen+Biotin+Zinc all in one
Electrolyte complex capsule
Magnesium Glycinate at the end of the day for sleepy
Omega 3

>>76440658
Hey cool but the Irish are the last fucking people who need excess UV exposure.
Wear long sleeve shirts if it's summer and UV exposure is high.
Ireland sounds like a gloomy rainy place so it's likely different.
But here in southern US, you are asking for literal cancer working out shirtless.

>>76448389
Most people here suffer from a vitamin D deficiency, makes total sense why everyone starts taking their shirt off whenever it hits 15 degrees.

>>76447880
be grateful that you're married. a lot of people would kill to have someone that loves them enough to commit to marriage

I saw my wife's really hot friend in a swimsuit last Saturday and both times we had sex since then, I was physically there, but mentally, I was doing somebody other than my wife. It'll probably pass since we're unlikely to meet often, and I like to tell myself that it's completely natural and that there's nothing wrong with it as long as I don't act on my lust towards women that are not my wife, but I still can't help but feel pretty bad about it.

trying to stay positive, but im running out of energy. it feels like the walls are closing in. I feel numb.
lend me your strength bros. i need to get out of this.

>>76448063
You only really become a loser when you truly give up. Set reasonable goals

>>76432688 (OP)
Need advice on jobs. Do any of you guys know about whether a trade school would help me find work?
I’m really desperate. Will detail in separate post for those interested. But I’m contemplating quitting my current job if I can pay for a trade school and they will get me started in a helper or apprenticeship position.

>old guy has outdone himself
So he had to put his cats down yesterday. Yeah, that’s sad yeah I feel bad for him. But that shouldn’t result in me getting fucked over. Yesterday he spent like 2 hours doing 15 minutes of work. I started doing a huge section with a ton of 15-20lb items. He comes by at the very end (leave time) to start dragging his feet on that too and “help” me finish. Pissed me off. He didn’t want to go home and have his cats put to sleep.
Today I get in and he demands we start a massive project we already agreed a week ago we would put off until next week when we will be at this location two days in a row because it will likely not get done in one shift. That pissed me off. We don’t go there tomorrow. He apparently could see I was annoyed and started
>hey anon how ya doin over there?
>im fine
>hey
>hey anon
>hey anon how ya doin over there?
I said im okay
>anon? Hey anon how ya doing over the— *I storm off*
I got back and he started demanding I stop what Im doing to do half of his work so it benefits him. What he wanted me to do was retarded and would have slowed us down. He kept repeating himself so I just shut him down with “I heard you.”
HE CALLED CORPORATE ON ME. From 5 feet away he called the top regional manager and told him he thought I was on drugs and that I was being nasty to him. That faggot comes in 40 minutes later and goes “WELL I WAS JUST UH IN THE AREA THOUGHT ID CHECK IN.” Whole interaction was super awkward. He started looking up into my pupils like the way you would try to check to see if someone’s high. Got within inches of my face. I don’t do drugs other than a 2.5mg edible every 2-4 months on my weekend to destress. Tonight was supposed to be that night and now I may get drug tested so I cant. I’m pissed. This senile cunt actually said after “maybe now these uh um store associates will be nice to us since he was here haha” like he thinks im a retard. He had the phone call right there. I heard him.

>>76448642
We left 30 minutes late, that means 30 minutes of free work. My commute was dogshit, double what it normally is. I also OMAD on top of the physical job so had to eat at the 25 hour mark which sucked but wasn’t too bad, just another thing to bitch about. Did 75% of the 2 day project today. As in, it’s 100% done now and I did 75% of it.


I can’t take it anymore. We have a massive project in September. I’ve done it before it took weeks to finish. I need to find a new job before then. I can’t do that shit with this clown again.
So, will a trade school get me work? I’ll quit tonight and pay the money for one if that’s the case, live off my remaining savings until I get a job if it will be within 2-3 months

>>76448398
>59F
Jesus yeah at that temperature there's barely any UV rays
carry on
[spoiler]I learned that I'm half Irish, the mountainfuckers who didn't want to be bothered for a long time[/spoiler]

>see this video on youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3GiM2DxUlc
>have watched some of this guy's other videos too where he speaks like 50 languages
>but haven't seen a video like this one
>very cute young asian american woman probably late teens-early 20s there with her grandma is soaking through the chair hearing him speak perfect mandarin and would probably ask to suck his dick in the bathroom if she wasnt there with grandma
i wish i could speak a language fluently like this as a white guy, i need to get that indomitable spirit to learn one

>>76448721
Just pick any language, doesn't matter what it is. Girls love it especially brown/asian ones because then you';re the exotic one and not them.
t. polish american

>>76448476
build the hot friend in VR and kill her
it might associate her with serial murder rather than cheating on your wife

>trying to ascertain whats wrong with me
>researching personality disorders, some of them fit but its missing something
>stumble upon avoidant personality disorder
>holy shit this sounds exactly it
>find a reddit board for it
>basically everyone sounds exactly like me, a bunch of pathetic miserable loser cowards who are afraid to do anything to live life but dont understand why theyre like this
the first time ive ever truly felt like i belonged to a group of people, no matter how pathetic we are.

>>76448282
Who cares about the office culture? Since you're working remote, you barely have to interact with anyone. Just keep your head down and do your work. Remote jobs are pretty hard to get these days, so appreciate what you have

Thinking about how far I've come in the last 30 years. Wild to think how far I'll go in the next 30 and beyond.

>>76448994
I worry about this kind of thing
Don't get too comfortable just because you're not alone

Today I started dating a 20 y\o zoomer, and I'm 33 already. Some dancing and a couple of drinks later, she went on an all trad rant, stating she wants a plan, me working and making bank, 3 kids, marriage, But she couldn't stop looking at her phone and then tell me men that dont eat pussy are gay.

What am I in for?

Picrel is a man, unrelated

>>76449740
>3 kids
Too few. Drop her.

>>76449747
Yeah sure retard, I'll up it to 7 children. The real issue here is she knows me for a year now, and I'm a self employed webdev and musician, a fucking fiasco for her elite dream world where everyone is a doctor or lawyer.

I love music and it sucks to make money with it. I took programming and there is money there and I'm doing OK but I feel I'm the impostor here.

>>76449782
>7
The goal should be 'as many as possible' anything less is weak, feeble, pathetic and gay.

>>76449740
Run.
Any woman like that on a dating app is just going to fuck your life up. There's a difference between "dating with intention" and just some ho saying whatever she thinks will get her whatever xyz shit she wants in a particular moment.

Quitting weed sucks complete dick. But I can’t keep relying on this crutch. It hasn’t affected my fitness any, but it’s just retarded to be high all the time. I want to cultivate a clear and sharp mind again.

>>76432688 (OP)
>the jannigger deleted the /filtlit/ thread
I am convinced the tranny jannies do not want anyone to make it. Kill yourself, you fucking subhuman, does it for free, Dorito-finger-dusted, fat fucking waste of garbage. I hope another 1 of your trannies loses its mind and takes down the website and names (You) in particular.

YWNBAW.

Meeow omewkrfa a

>>76448123
>It's been over a month since we last talked
then why would you initiate contact again?

>>76449929
Don't worry anon. Your dependency on it will fade in 2-3 weeks.
You'll go entire weeks or months without thinking about it, unless the media you consume is heavily weed-centric.
Stoners had their chance to redeem themselves in the public eye. They had a good run but ultimately squandered it by being, well, lazy stoners.

>>76449740
nigga get the fuck out young women are not worth anything. They are to be seen and not heard.

>mate going through a hard time starts giving me flak for life choices

>>76448486
>it feels like the walls are closing in. I feel numb.
something something diamonds are made under pressure

>lend me your strength bros. i need to get out of this.
you've gotten this far and you'll make it through this thing too, you have to anon

>>76448476
>but I still can't help but feel pretty bad about it.
no shit, you are falling to lust
repent

>>76448486
Stay strong bro. Life may seem to be falling apart, but you can survive. Even if you fail, you can always try again

>>76433341
There's nothing wtong relaxing at home if you have someone to talk to or just chill with, if you're always alone you start to lose your mind a bit.

>>76447472
I found her on Bumble actually. I had super strict filters so I wouldn't see anyone beyond what I actually wanted so I would only get ten profiles a day or something crazy. She ended up popping up when I was driving out of town. The last 18 months have been fucking nuts.

congratulations everyone! Closer to death.
Prepare

>>76450170
>repent
But how? Not that anon but my GF also has some friends who in all honesty could almost certainly make my loyalty crack under the pressure if they ever actually tried. I love my GF obviously but the temptation can be really damn strong even if everything is fine with your sex life because that's just how you're programmed as a man.

>>76450582
Nothing gayer than adultery.

>>76450582
By realising that the relationship with your gf/wife is better than any sex escapade could be.

>>76450582
oh look a nigger figured out how to type

>>76450589
>>76450593
>>76450625
Just being realistic and honest about the very real power of lust does not mean that you condone adultery in any way.

Why the fuck some people get born in loving and wealthy families and grow up without trauma and mental health issues ruining their lives, getting to build healthy relationships and happy memories early on, and i'm out here all alone, a man who's never been loved by anyone, fighting an uphill battle every single fucking day trying my hardest not to lose hope and kill myself?

>>76450744
What's your story anon? What's got you down?

>>76450752
The shortest i can condence this story: i'm in my 30s and still a virgin, had a godawful childhood being born in a poor family of an emotionally distant war veteran with PTSD who literally never said anything good about me or things i did in my life and an emotionally unstable overbearing mother, i took the blackpill when i was in my 20s due to some really fucking awful experiences with people (like having an extremely abusive friend group in my teens, absolutely crushing defeats trying to date girls, etc), gave up on my life and went full hikikomori, like a year ago i realised that i can't live like that anymore and started improving my life, but now i have DECADES of shame wearing me down and no way to deal with it - i can talk to someone but if i feel a connection or sympathy from them i just freeze and bail fully knowing that they can't deal with me if the talk gets deeper or if they ask for contact info or something. Then regret sets in. Then i repeat the same pattern the next time it happens and i can't stop it, i'm just afraid they will stay and found me out for being an old virgin who skipped every single life miliestone an average normalfag had 10+ years ago. I still crave intimacy or at the very least friendship yet i'm afraid of it like it's cancer or something. Even if i understand it i can't stop it, it just happens.
I've been visiting 12 step program meetings like alcoholics or narcotics anonymous and even the shittiest, ugliest men still have or had a girl that loved them. Why can't i be the same? What the fuck is wrong with me?

>>76450837
I relate to this like 90% all the way down to going to AA. Only difference is that I spent my 20s whoring around. In my opinion, the dating market is practically fucked and if you didn't get in pre-2020 you have to be willing to settle. What helped back then was just buying my own horseshit. Do I now realize people were making fun of me? Yes. But guess what? They were a bunch of miserable pricks that if I lived a second of their lives would've made me KMS and that's coming from a shit background exactly like yours.

If you're money situation is good I recommend just going down the path of rock and roll until you've gotten your fill. I'm not saying it is a solution but it can be therapeutic for what you're going through. Don't think about what you do. Just do it. Don't get anyone pregnant and stay the fuck away from hard drugs.

>>76450709
sure but
>, I was physically there, but mentally, I was doing somebody other than my wife.
almost is

>>76450744
Counter question - does finding out why even matter?
Would finding out why undo your past?
Does funding out why inhibit your ability to do something different now to lead to a better future?
The answer is no. You can spend a lifetime lamenting over the why and come up with nothing productive. Regardless of your shitty or positive background, you're alive in this world and God has willed that you are alive because you are both an expression of His love and tool for good.
To live in your purpose of being a personification of love and being an agent of good is the only thing that should matter.

>>76448642
>>76448655
Please look for another job. You’re suffering and hate your coworker. You can definitely find a better role.

>>76450872
>If you're money situation is good I recommend just going down the path of rock and roll until you've gotten your fill. I'm not saying it is a solution but it can be therapeutic for what you're going through. Don't think about what you do. Just do it. Don't get anyone pregnant and stay the fuck away from hard drugs.
I will follow your advice, i mean, you're probably right. I don't really care about sex as much, so i never considered short time relationships, pump-and-dumps and "situationships" or whatever they're called right now, so i'm just so deep in my own ass right now thinking about long time romantic relationships and overthinking every single time i interact with a girl who likes me like i'm choosing a mother of my children and a mother figure replacement, of fucking course i'm going to crumble.

>>76451059
Well, i would identify the cause of the problem, see what i can do about it, then get a closure. Some kind of a "oh yeah, that's right, that's why it is like it is". I'm trying to regain my religion but it's pretty hard, i just don't know why i specifically was chosen to experience shitty early life and have to struggle these days to function on the same level as an average person while someone had a much better life with zero effort and why the fuck was i given a second chance at fixing my life.

>>76449699
We’ve come so far already in terms of our journeys. I’m excited to see where we’ll end up

>>76451220
>Well, i would identify the cause of the problem, see what i can do about it, then get a closure.
The answer is: chance
nothing other than chance
You gotta play with the deck of cards you got.
I've got a particularly good set of genes but came from a bunch of poor hicks in the boonies. So my diet was awful and education nonexistent.
But by chance my dad got a raise and started buying tech toys like GPSs and early drones and vidya systems.
So I picked it up by chance as a lad.
Got really into it by choice.
Then that's shaped my future and my future decisions.
The "problem" you think you're going to identify and get closure on, you already have and you're just spinning your wheels in denial.
Write it down, learn lessons and move forward anon. It's legitimately the only thing you can do.
Shitty situation and you can make it shittier. Really stupid decision but hey it's your call.
Change is hard. Change is slow. Change is sometimes fast. Change is sometimes explosive.
But I can tell you right fucking now what you're doing isn't productive. You're digging a neurological pathway deep in your brain that hasn't killed you yet so your brain will default to it unless you act on it.
But you have to make minor changes in your life. Lots of them.
Work until surviving becomes maintaining and maintaining becomes thriving. You'll go through the ups and down, no one thrives forever.
If you have health insurance, seek out a therapist just so you can vomit your brains out on them. They won't be able to give you advice or fix your problems but just being able to vomit that out, be vulnerable, and get a good cry in will help. It's taken over 20 sessions for myself to finally get to the other side of maintaining.
Not thriving yet, but I keep making small new actions and some big actions that push me in a forward direction.
Most important is you gotta look at yourself and challenge yourself and your thoughts and convictions.
(1/x)

>>76451220
>>76451643
Religion isn't religion unless it's with a community.
That's the single most important thing to humans.
Community.
A community you can feel trust in.
A community can give you meaning.
You have to look for the good in people.
You have to look for the good in you.
Use ChatGPT, facebook, whatever the fuck tool you need to find people you can learn to trust and you can look eye to eye with.
I found a community helping out at the dog shelter. For free. 24+ hours a month I volunteer and offer my skills and knowlege.
I help clean up and I also spend lots of time just sitting with all the dogs just making sure they know themselves they aren't alone and that someone can love them.
Shelters will legitimately not care if you don't scoop poop or feed or do shift work if all you want to do is sit with a dog for an hour every now and then. They love that shit and they'll love you.
There's groups of people, even in my little town of 10k, you can find.
And if you can't find it yourself, make it yourself. I've started a Slinging Club where you can learn Slingshot shooting and Shepard's sling. But it's mainly for men to get together and do something cool. Shoot the shit and shoot shit. There's a lot, and I mean a lot of people out there that could just use someone to talk to. Just to know there's still people out there in a world that's barreling towards isolation.
But most importantly you have to challenge yourself and the mental rut you're digging.
Rewire your brain.
It's fuckin hard and you'll wind up in this place again let's not kid around. But every time you wind up in this place you're in right now, you'll have more knowledge and more resilience. You'll stay in this place for less and less at a time.
Find a hobby
Exercise
Get your steps in
Train your strength
Get your macro and micro nutrients in
Drink water
Get some sleep
Take care of the human.
You need to establish these neural pathways, then you can worry about optimizing. (2/2)

>>76451643
>>76451693
I'm doing half of this stuff, i think i just start to spiral time to time back into the void, looping on the same shitty thoughts over and over again. But i will take note ands do the other half.
You mentioning the slingshots reminded me that you basically said the same thing to the suicidal guy in the last week's thread.

>>76451220
>i would identify the cause of the problem, see what i can do about it, then get a closure
>i just don't know why i specifically was chosen to experience shitty early life
Again, asking why in this instance only wastes time. You have no evidence to reach any conclusion, and frankly wouldn't get any because your circumstances were out of your control from that instance of conception. And unless you find a way to go back and present your own conception there is nothing to do about it but move on.
Chasing closure is also gay, women shit. You're in a spiritual war with yourself. People who experience war don't get closure, they live with the outcomes of their experiences and hopefully seek to do better.
Stop wallowing on things that were never in your control in the first place and embrace that which you can control. Give your faith in your own future not to your gay traumas, and give your faith to God.

>>76451743
*prevent your own conception

>>76451735
>I'm doing half of this stuff
Legitimately fantastic

>, i think i just start to spiral time to time back into the void, looping on the same shitty thoughts over and over again.
It happens. The brain has to process things. Not to downplay the actual hurt you suffer when you revisit these thoughts. It's painful and it damages you in a lot of ways. But you're cognizant of it which is a really fantastic -start-.
>But i will take note ands do the other half.
Also based. There's more stuff out there I'm learning too. I got a 23andMe done a few years ago for funsies, but discovered you can pull up raw data. Some fuckers are touchy-feely bitches who need more social bonding than others. Like me. And it fucks you up if you don't get that. But if you go this route, don't get hung up on deterministic. Genes are just blueprints. Not many houses wind up build to blueprints. But it shows your CAPACITY.
But I'm mostly doing this because I find that "Somatic" information helps me process things logically. But that's just what works BEST for me though it's not the ONLY thing I could do. But "somatic" stuff is where you take your actions and thoughts and separate them. Like realizing your brain is creating ruts when you think those same things. And like I told the other suicidal guy: He's not dead yet. So your brain says "okay, this will do." even though it's not optimal. Humans are survivors more than they are thrivers.

>You mentioning the slingshots reminded me that you basically said the same thing to the suicidal guy in the last week's thread.
Because slingshots are cool and based and legal to shoot outdoors (as long as it's not at other people).
I also give repeat advice because, from a Somatic prospective, it works for everyone that is a human. It's really that simple, we're wired for it.

That's because slingshots and cool and based

>>76432704
To develop on this, well just sent a message to an old mate of mine and we're meeting tomorrow to see if we can arrange a cool place to go visit for a couple days.
I would prefer to go abroad with a gf but beggars can't be choosers and I'll take holidaying with a boomer mate than alone or not at all.

>>76450154
Don’t let him get to you. Continue being his friend, but if he’s being too toxic, cut him out

>>76451123
Thanks man. I’ve been trying but that hasn’t gone well. I see trades as an escape because it meets my criteria
>will get paid while learning
>marketable always in need skill
>can achieve a pay that has actual comfort for me in appropriate amount of time
>active, challenging, can always improve and learn new shit
>possibly no boss breathing down neck/level of independence
>actual growth
>potential to start a business
>mechanical
But all these postings, even the bottom totem pole entry level ones meant for people with no experience like helper roles, require years of experience at minimum.


Talked to a friend, he suggested I try to test into my local union and at the same time I start watching youtube buy tools and just self teach myself the basics. Simple shit like installing boxes, (electrical) and wiring NEC codes etc, and then try to get into one of those jobs that want experience. If they pry, tell them my experience is my self teachings because I want the job that bad.
So that’s what I’m doing. Gonna try for my local union, if that fails I’ll start the plan b.
This coworker is really an asshole man. I’m fine with being yelled at, dealing with assholes. But not being taken advantage of, having my life impacted outside of work due to the prick, and not even having the possibility for it to pay off. Him being a dick and claiming he does the work I do and I’m the one with my arm up my ass is just a cherry on top of the shit sundae. If there was even an opportunity to advance this cum guzzling senior cucklord omega faggot bitch like nigger just ruined it by telling that manager I was being mean and on drugs. I’m still awaiting to find out if I’m being drug tested. Can’t stand zero accountability people who swear the world owes them some shit and choose to act like insufferable assholes then get mad or vindictive if people don’t take their abuse with a smile

I have lost 6.4 pounds in the last month. 1.6 pounds per week. Was surprised because I'm not even really dieting to lose weight, just being mindful of what I'm eating because I want to get enough protein and fiber. My main goal is building strength with weight training. I'm still at dyel noob gains, but I'm older so I'm not expecting big gains fast.
Pleasantly surprised.

>>76450744
we can't choose our births but we can choose how we can live

>>76452284
>fiber
MEGA ULTRA BASED OUT OF THIS WORLD
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE YOUR SHITS DONE AND OVER WITH IN TWO MINUTES?

>>76452284
Congrats on your progress! You've already gotten significant results

>>76435651
Good luck on your Chick fil a exam

I'm as close to giving up and committing suicide as I've ever been. At least my parents are now finally at the age of 32 saying things like "are you depressed" and "why do you act like the world is horrible" and "you need to see a psychologist or im getting you sent to a psych ward", after 32 years of the most pathetic life imaginable, 32 years of being a shut in loser still living with his parents who has no social experiences whatsoever. its almost inconceivable how oblivious they are and how much they bury their head in the sand. how they could watch me waste and ruin my life for three decades and basically not care, then now act like me being completely miserable makes no sense, but why i have so much to live for.

Life is doing good. How about you anon?

Took too many oxy and now I'm constipated. Gonna be massive when it finally does come.

>>76452928
You're 32, my guy. You need to let go of blaming your parents for not noticing your suffering and do something about your suffering yourself. I don't know a nice way to put it, but past acertain poiny, which you are well beyond at 32, your health and happiness becomes your own respinsibility.

>>76452630
Pretty good, thanks for asking.

>>76452928
I get it anon, I really do. I'm 33, no career to speak of, working a shit ass job paying 23/hr (of which I have had 0 hours for almost 10 days at this point and likely none until the middle of august), living at my parents place, no gf (although I am at least banging a chubby girl who I to be honest do not like that much), dick doesn't work properly (need to take cialis to bang aforementioned chubby girl), have watched all my friends and family surpass me with buying houses, getting married, best friend just had a baby for fucks sakes. Life sucks for a lot of us. BUT we are still here, and as long as we can take a breathe we can still try to improve our situations (even if it doesn't feel worth it). My life has sunk so low that I am now looking into doing a fucking WGU degree since I cannot justify committing to a 4 year brick and mortar degree. Never kill yourself.

tl;dr pic related

>>76452928

>>76453071
I don't blame them for me being like this, it's all my fault. I just meant that it's funny how apparently my years of being miserable starting in my teenage years and having no life development whatsoever as the most important years of my life disappeared was no cause for concern. until this point.
>>76453100
Yeah, you have a pretty similar life to mine. The only "at least" is that I don't have friends and family to compare myself to. Just comparing myself to what I know everyone else is succeeding in. But do you not think about how far behind you are, how many years you've wasted, and have it over your head like a cloud making you not give a shit about trying to improve? That's what I have.
>>76453114
Agreed. But when you're so far behind in literally everything, it makes it even harder to get the motivation.

>>76453232
Stop obsessing over comparing yourself to others and focus on your goals.

>>76452284
water weight

>>76435310
You care too much bro.

>>76437964
This all sounds really convincing, I had a lot of people that were very close to me die when I was pretty young. My best friend got shot (on accident) by his own brother, foster kids that were unsupervised playing hide and seek, boy went and hid in a dryer that was out in a field and the older brother after not finding him decided it was time for target practice. Found him after the body started to stink. My grandma and dad committed suicide not long after that. I think I was probably 12 or 13 when all this happened. Chugged my first bottle of Grey goose that I stole from my parents at like 15. Had to play the parent role for my folks until my step-dad finally came to me personally and asked my permission to leave and I had to tell him "hey if you're not happy, you've only got one life." He left the next morning. Always played the parent between them and whoever else. My problem with that complex trauma theory shit though is what about the Ukrainian or Russian youth that have experienced nothing but poverty and people dying to shit like hunger and still being strong as fuck. I think we're all just weak in the west. Sure, shit is hard but buck the fuck up and stay smart, keep right. Anytime you're given an excuse to feel sorry for yourself it seems wrong.

>>76453661
>My problem with that complex trauma theory shit though is what about the Ukrainian or Russian youth that have experienced nothing but poverty and people dying to shit like hunger and still being strong as fuck. I think we're all just weak in the west. Sure, shit is hard but buck the fuck up and stay smart, keep right. Anytime you're given an excuse to feel sorry for yourself it seems wrong.
My guy, you know nothing. As someone who used to be that "Ukrainian or Russian youth" and still lives in Russia i have to wonder why the hell people in the Western countries see the post-soviet countries as some red pill trad paradise where mental health problems don't exist. Look up the suicide, divorse, drug and alcohol abuse statistics in Russia/Ukraine, shit's fucked. There's so many disfunctional people walking around who have zero fucking idea what to do with it because the slavic culture just tells you "stop being a bitch or die lmao", it just mostly leads to more anger and more pain. I have to add how the ongoing war is an outlet for people with mental health issues who just can't take it anymore so they sign a contract and basically willingly get killed out there, look up how many suicides Russian soldiers commit per month.

I just want a fucking job, man. Being a NEET in my early 20s fucked me so hard but I won't give up, I'm 27 now, I can't stand sitting at home all day anymore, the gym is literally the highlight of my day

>>76453843
Didn't mean it that way my friend. I compare my struggles to people in that area and I despite how much I want to feel like a bitch, I don't want to because I see what they go through. I've never been over there, I do know nothing. My experience with anyone from slavic countries though indicates to me that they're tougher than we are in the west, and I admire it.

>>76453940
I guess in the end we're all equally fucked up but in the west we can still have access to shit food.

>>76453861
>just want a fucking job
Then get one. In less than 3 days you can be wagging like the rest of us.

I was a neet from 2015 till 2021 then decided to start working again and have had multiple jobs since then, quitted a few and got hired as soon as I went looking for another.
I don't even have a fucking degree, I just lie on my resume and then show up to work every day and do as I'm told, I'm an autistic, quiet misanthrope yet management and bosses always take a like of me even though my coworkers often don't because I don't engage with retards, drunks, consoomers or potheads.

100% there's a construction company in your town that's desperately looking for laborers.
>b-but I don't want ti work blue collar jobs
nigger 100% there's some coffee shop, store, supermarket, cinema looking for wage fodders.
How many applications have you sent?

I think I’m in a state of disbelief over the old fuck coworker calling corporate on me. I should be way more angry than I am. I should have told that manager what the reality was. I’m just in disbelief. I have this weird calm feeling of “no way that actually happened.” I should be going scorched earth right now.
Idgaf what I gotta do I’m leaving this job right before that massive project. Pissfuck wants to play this game okay fine he’s getting fucked over one way or another. If I can’t get a new job by then I’m just missing the week of pay and not going in. He can do it himself. Fuck him. Watch how fast he complains to our bosses.

was cutting my hair and ended up buzzing my hair for the first time in my life. Had been dreading this moment for a while but knew I had to do it at some point cause I've been thinning for a while.
I still look bad cause of the gay alien skull, but it isn't as bad as I feared. I think it looks less stupid or uncanny than what I had before, and like I'm not hiding anymore. It's a bit of a weight off my shoulders but my mom gonna call me ugly 10 times a day now

also, looking at picrel, how bad is it? be real with me. Am I at least gonna get a nice pattern or what

>>76452913
Thank you. I have to tell myself over and over that I will pass

>>76453861
Lie on your resume man. The way the job market is it’s designed to filter you out. Fake postings, DEI, thousands of applicants per posting, AI rejecting everyone because it doesn’t fucking work here. You’re not playing a fair game, it’s not the same as it was 10 years ago. So play just as dirty level the playing field and lie. Use friends as references for jobs you never had, claim to be currently employed etc.


I’m doing this right now >>76452027. And yeah, if one of the main fields that every clueless faggot claims is desperately in need of workers won’t even hire for their min wage entry level positions the jobs meant to take someone with no experience and train them so they grow with the company and become and asset you know there’s a fucking problem. So lie.
I thought me getting 12 months of employment would help and it has not.

>>76454699
Friendly reminder that there are more layoffs than new jobs being made. It is an utter shitshow

>>76452949
I'm anxious but trying to be optimistic. I keep on trying to fantasize about how much better life will be in a year

My hairdresser asked me if I wanted to have my eyebrows done. I said no as I don't think they are that big or unruly or anything, but should I try it?

>>76454604
You need to leave, this job is killing you. But make sure you have something planned before you quit

Dad raised me as a single father. Taught me carpentry, gave me his no milage paid off car when I turned 18, always told me I was free to live with him. When I was ready to have a family, the house was mine so I could raise my kids somewhere that was theirs.
Met my girlfriend, we talked about a lot of things, she ended up moving in kind of early. Quit working to cook, clean, garden and stuff. Did a bit less and a bit less.
Changed her mind on having kids, why ruin a good thing she said?
Dad pulls me aside, you need to end it. She is with you because of the free ride, she changed her mind about children. I was willing to work and pay bills so she could stay home and raise your children, not so she could just get fat laying around the house like a hog.
Get mad but start thinking about it. Realize dad is right, break things off and she tries to act retarded. Dad presses charges and she has to leave, he doesn't care if she's in jail just never wants her back. She starts trying to bargin with me, we can have a kid but your dad needs to leave. Block her number and move on.
A few years go by, she has 2 kids by 2 different men. Tries to talk to me in person, looks like shit, fat as hell. Shows me a picture and I can see the inside of her home, it's fucking nasty. Tell her I'm happy she''s happy and life worked out for her and keep moving.
Seeing the future that could've been was fucking scary.

>>76454662
It’s slightly bad but you shouldn’t feel mortified. Just accept it

Serious question - how do people make friends? I mean actual, honest to God social circles where you hang out and do stuff every week or so? I don't get it, I know some people on an acquaintance level but it seems like they can become good friends with someone within the span of a month or less, do a bunch of shit and go places having just met. For example, I know several people at my gym on a sorta casual basis for over a year now, meanwhile I see them hanging out regularly outside of it, going to various events and so on, with people that they've known for less than a third of that time from what I've noticed of scanning their social media. And I know for a fact several of those guys aren't some Chads that are doing cool stuff every damn day but they still get more than me and well, this sounds petty, but I want that as well. I want to have buddies to chill with, hell there are hot girls in their social groups so maybe I might actually get laid and get a girlfriend for once.

I have had some friends as a younger guy but the more I look back the more I realize that this was mostly due to our families being close and sort of becoming "friends by proximity". Except this doesn't work anymore when you hit your 20s and 30s so I need a new plan because I'm sick of lonely weekends.

>>76456650
>but your dad needs to leave
Fuck that, you did the right thing. Your dad sounds like a good man.

>>76457358
>how do people make friends?
I want to do a thing.
I go to where people do thing.
I do thing with those people.
I connect with one or two of those people based on shared experiences, shared values, and shared interests outside of the original interest.
Years later don't even remember why I like this guy, but I'd lie to the cops or his wife for him.

>>76457386
>I connect with one or two of those people based on shared experiences, shared values, and shared interests outside of the original interest.

Yeah that's kind of the problem. I go places, I do sports and even clubs and I make chit-chat yet I've never, ever managed to make a good friend from those. Shit, I've even gone to bars and clubs by myself, not even to try and pick up girls sometimes, but to just make a friend or two. Still alone. What is the process, what's going on, what are other people doing that I can't figure out?

>>76457399
>what are other people doing that I can't figure out?
Probably being weirded out by your autism.

>>76457414
Thanks dickhead, that's the answer I was looking for.

Really why the hell do I even bother asking for actual advice from 4chan...

>>76457422
I don't know what to tell you man. How can you do all that social activity and not make a single friend? I don't understand, because I also know plenty of autistic spazoids who form friendships (I play Battletech and it's basically Combat Autism: the game). How old are you, and have you actually had any interests yoy've pursued or do you just go from thing to thing giving uo and moving on quickly? Are you actually passionate about anything? That's probably a big component if you aren't. I have a lot of casual friends I made just by being consistent in where and what I do.

>>76456076
>but should I try it?
if she knows what she's doing she'll make you looke quite a bit better
if she doesn't you're gonna look bad/strange for a few months

it's about getting rid of the stray hairs and giving the eyebrows nice straight lines

>>76456076
Your hairdresser is upselling you on additional services. If you're happy with your eyebrows don't let yourself get handled.

>>76457435
>How old are you, and have you actually had any interests yoy've pursued or do you just go from thing to thing giving uo and moving on quickly?

31 and yes. MMA, do it regularly except for a brief period when they shut everything down during the coof. Gym, obviously. Used to practice archery except I had an injury and dropped it but wanting to get back, they also started a HEMA club nearby so I'd like to check that out. There also used to be a group that I met up with to play Infinity: The Game up until last year except they broke up and it was basically the only one like it within the nearest 150 km radius, everyone else just plays Warhammer which I find boring. I understand that I'm not the most socially astute guy but it feels like every conversation I have with guys and girls at these places is just going in circles and I have no idea how to move forward even though I really want to. Maybe I should try video games, I've always played single player but at this point I'm out of ideas.

I'm sorry for being aggressive but this is pretty important to me and a major source of depression in my life and one of those things that's a case of "I don't even know how to begin fixing it". Maybe I need like a step-by-step guide or something.

>>76457502
>There also used to be a group that I met up with to play Infinity: The Game
I casually play Aleph OSS. >Warhammer which I find borin
Warhammer is gay
>it feels like every conversation I have with guys and girls at these places is just going in circles and I have no idea how to move forward
Maybe you're trying too hard and that wigs people out? Conversation should be free flowing and interesting, not have some specific goal. Maybe relax? I don't know.
>I'm sorry for being aggressive
I'm not bitch-made, the internet can't hurt my feelings

>>76457502
And not for nothing,but we're having a conversation here. We found out we both do wargames, you mentiined HEMA which is something I'm passingly interested in because I've done kendo and fencing. We both go to the gym. We have a slight age difference, but we're both grown men. FWIW if we were talking in person I would probably be inviting you to my Battletech league or offering to check out the HEMA group with you.
If you can connect with me here, there is no reason you can't connect with people IRL. What's the difference?

>>76457528
>I casually play Aleph OSS.

Nice, I play Nomads mainly.

>Maybe you're trying too hard and that wigs people out? Conversation should be free flowing and interesting, not have some specific goal.

Probably but my mind kinda goes blank if the conversation stalls for too long and I start trying to think of something to keep it going.

>I'm not bitch-made, the internet can't hurt my feelings

Figures just didn't wanna get into another unnecessarily hostile shitflinging contest online.

>>76457576
Good point but it feels a bit different doing it online than IRL. Online it feels like I don't have to restrain myself or give a shit if somebody feels weirded out.

>>76453988
>>76454699
How should I lie at my resume without looking too fake, can't they just go thru my registered jobs using my ID and see that I haven't had many registered jobs or experience?

>>76457587
>I start trying to think of something to keep it going.
You have to learn to be comfortable with silence. Conversations have an ebb and flow, and it's natural to have breaks in talking. Let things sit for a bit. If during the break the person you're talking to doesn't dip out or otherwise move away you just pick back up with whatever seems appropriate after the pause. You don't need or want to be always filling the silence. A barrage of talk turns people off because it is mentally taxing and comes across as needy.

>>76457590
>Online it feels like I don't have to restrain myself or give a shit if somebody feels weirded out.
What have you said here that you would otherwise restrain outside of asking for advice about this subject? Gauging someone's limits is natural anyway. I have really good friends I don't tell off color jokes to, and other friends I'll say absolutely horrible shit in front of. Knowing someone and building trust takes time.

>>76457600
>can't they just go thru my registered jobs using my ID
What?

>>76457399
>I do sports and even clubs and I make chit-chat yet I've never, ever managed to make a good friend from those. Shit, I've even gone to bars and clubs by myself, not even to try and pick up girls sometimes, but to just make a friend or two. Still alone.
You're avoidant. You're supposed to either stay or reach out. If you have to ask what's the process you won't make it, you have to be retarded and be in a moment. If you don't have a deeper connection over something look for someone else.
I also have this problem because i'm avoidant.

>>76432688 (OP)
it's literally Sunday, nigger

is this the first /mis/ in while to make it the whole week?

>>76457794
cry about it niggerfaggot

>>76440623
I had a similar experience, though I had been told that the baby had been lost instead. In truth, I'm not certain if she hadn't just had the procedure done. At any rate, it affected her deeply, much more than I had been despite having been brought to tears when thinking about it. The relationship didn't last much longer afterward, but I do consider what might have been from time to time.

I recommend just moving on with your life and doing what your able to let go of the anger. The two of you ought not to have anything further to do with each other, but festering on it can eat away at you.

>>76457848
The previous one lasted 2 weeks

>>76457848
We’ve had a couple of 2 weeks thread, but I think this is the first time in a while a thread might be wrapped up in a week

>>76457639
where I live there's an website that shows someones past jobs using their registration ID

>>76457600
Anon if they’re willing to do all that, if that’s even possible, then they aren’t the kind of job you should be applying to. Get some bullshit retail gig and use it to update resume with legit current expericne. Move up from there until you have a real resume without lies. Maybe the retail job promotes you to supervisor or assistant manager, maybe you use that to get a lead position doing some tech shit after self teaching yourself. Maybe you get some IT certs while doing that retail job and land an entry level IT role and just being currently employed helps you land that job

>>76457358
I don’t know man. I got in really good shape at 18 and somehow just got lucky and became part of a friend group that all met on the spot for the first time. That went to shit after a few years, but I attribute me looking good to being why I was accepted. I have one good friend and have met mutuals through him but they’re no one I would hang with without my friend. And I have tried, they didn’t even want to game with me they would log off right when I joined party.

>>76432688 (OP)
>I shall bump up my workouts to 2 milers and add another 10lbs to my lifts
>I shall work down my belly fat by another 0.5lbs
>I shall not be tempted by fast food and starve as I must
>I shall not be distracted and exercise onwards to getting that special opportunity at work
>I shall prepare for STEM hell of my late college years and time at university
>I shall give my stock account recovery from the Feds
>I shall return to the plasma donation center for donation #2
>I shall end each day of next week with +5k steps
>I shall inch forward in my online course I'm taking

>>76435310
Modern women do not know or think too much of the true struggle. Find the ones that do.

>>76453232
>But do you not think about how far behind you are, how many years you've wasted, and have it over your head like a cloud making you not give a shit about trying to improve? That's what I have
Yeah of course I do, but if you don't at least fucking try to improve your situation it's not gonna get any better is it? You can start taking steps now or look back in another 5 years and be like "holy fuck if I had just started 5 years ago I'd be so much further along but instead I'm still in as shitty of a position as I was back then". Time passes regardless anon, you gotta make moves to improve yourself.

And so it begins again

>the good
I ate my wife's ass for the first time last night and we both loved it. She was understandably quite tense at first, but after her first orgasm, it was pretty smooth sailing.
>the bad
I think I tweaked something in my hips. I tried to do some hanging leg raises and when my legs became parallel with the floor I felt this sudden sharp pain at the base of my spine. Since then whenever I bend down the wrong way I feel that same sensation creep up on me.

8lbs down from this time last month, and I feel better for it.
Ran my first 30 minute 5k this week as well.
Seeing progress for the first time in a while.

>>76461843
very cool, the great thing about running is that it gets easier over time if you're just focused on weight loss. 30 minutes for a 5k is a great milestone to hit.
also 8 pounds lost in a month is great because think about it - you've been running with an eight pound weight vest at this point.

>snorlax
Lifts are going great, but my gym is closed for three weeks which fucking sucks so now i have to drive to a different branch. Feels like a good time to pivot to more cardio but trying to balance that sucks.
>more upper body strength?
good luck running with it
>more lower body strength?
too sore to run

one must imagine Sisyphus happy. I feel like I have to relearn how to run at a higher weight and that's how I'm treating it. Except instead of adding a mile I'm just adding a kilometer a week.

Last week was the craziest week in a while. slammed from all sides with meetings and then i get tasked with presenting to the VP by the end of the week - went well but it was basically making the case to fire at least one indian H1B so we could hire more indians in india.
I do these occasional consulting calls and got dragged into another one after five hours of meetings on Tuesday, made $150 for a little over half an hour. I normally wouldn't bother but knowing that I have a kid on the way I'm finding another gear in my motivation.
Got a call back from the interview - they don't normally bring people onsite but I'm going onsite for a second and final interview (which originally was going to be three rounds). I'm feeling confident about the job, switching to hourly/contract work kinda sucks but I don't see my job existing in a year anyway and the money makes up for it. Either way the interview should be a good experience.

>>76460683
All great goals. Good luck on your journey!

>>76461937
just got call from wife who was doing testing...no longer have a kid on the way

>>76462133
I’m really sorry for your loss. You showed how enthusiastic you were about having a kid. Please don’t give up, you’ll be a great dad when the opportunity comes

>>76432688 (OP)
>was so stressed out by work that I skipped working out and meditation
>started working out and mediate on today
>mfw my mood is instantly better after a week of terrible deprecating emotional state
I keep forgetting that the exercise and meditation combo is one of the few things left that make me happy in this world.
It should be fucking mandatory no matter how tight the deadline is

>>76462234
The older I get, the more I appreciate every gym session. It sucks that I only have time to go twice a week these days. Don’t forget this lesson

>>76462440
What about jump ropes and calisthenic?
You can do those when you have like 10 - 20 min of free times.
I do like 3 set of push up when I don't have the time.

>Going to the gym three times a week, i don't want to be fat no more
>Trying to get over my ex (i broke with her three months ago due to the amount of fights), but still having feelings for her
>Continue to look for new jobs opportunities
>Telling my family that I love them everyday
>Going to church every sunday
Trying to become a better version of me. What more could i do?

>>76462493
Consistency.
Better off making sure that you don't fail one of these rather than adding more.

>>76462448
That’s a good idea, I should research calisthenics. Does anybody have a 20-30 minute routine?

>>76462233
Thanks. its just wild because this is the week that i thought everything would get really real, with the testing and gender and everything...and now its just gone.

>>76462524
Yeah, you are right. Nonetheless, i want to keep improving, there is a lot of work to do.

>>76462493
So the program itself has gotten a bit too commercialized but check out Exodus90. They have some good disciplines in that program that even if you modify would probably help you continue your current course.

>go /out/ to the usual swimming hole because it's summer and I want to leave the house
>Usually is empty 19 of 20 times
>see French speaking early twenties couple there
>Both are naked, she's rocking a full bush
>Immediately leave
>Drive home was even more miserable than usual
It's absolutely pathetic to live without a girlfriend, insane the amount of things you miss on life by being a shut in loner.

Zoomers, live this fucking place and throw all your effort into developing a decent social life, shit doesn't not get better as you age.

>>76462739
Thanks Fren.

>>76462702
Happiness is truly strange. It’s here today and gone tomorrow. Give yourself time to mourn over the future you lost. But remind yourself that there’s still a future for you and your family

>>76462762
what ze fuque, why where they naked?

instead of me fumbling the baddie like it always happens, this time the baddie fumbled me. I met her at a concert, talked to her, but she did a lot of push-pull shit which i couldn't understand and gave me a weird vibe like she disliked me or something, but when the concert was over i walked over to her and said "goodbye, maybe we will meet again" and she looked at me like this before i turned around and walked away. I still don't know what it all meant.

>>76463349
It's innawoods so usually there's no one around, even I sometimes swim naked there. But they spoke french so it would not be a surprise if they were fucking before or afterwards.

>>76463441
>"goodbye, maybe we will meet again"
You're autistic and I'm going to believe this post is bait.

>>76463573
i do have autism and this has happened yesterday

>>76463441
>dies of cringe

I WILL MEET ALL OF MY DEADLINES
I WILL STUDY HARD
I WILL PASS MY LEVEL 3 CFA EXAM
I WILL MAKE IT TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN

Work is incredibly hard. It feels like whenever I make one right move, I learn that I’ve also made three big mistakes. I suspect my boss thinks I’m stupid. But I must persevere in the face of pressure. I need to last at least a year in this role. I will succeed.

The path to the summit remains difficult. Some days are easy, some days are rough. This time around, I do consider the climb less challenging. But I need to push forward day by day. I’ll learn from my mistakes and grow stronger. By the time the test date arrives, I’ll be ready to pass. This time I’m reaching the top

The man you are today must brutally mog the man you were yesterday. The journey we take will define us. WAGMI

I keep starting projects and never finishing them. I keep making plans and not sticking to them. I can't tell if it's a fear of commitment or a lack of drive. Most likely a lack of discipline though.

Okay, brothers. Tell me how shit my routine is.

>20 minutes on elliptical maximum resistance. I usually walk like 10k steps at work. I mostly just do this because somehow I actually enjoy it.
>bench press... like 10 kilos on an Olympic bar until failure. I aim for three sets of 10, but usually by the third set I gas out by two or three. Pathetic, I know... I'm working on it.
>lat pull down about 50 lbs. First set I can usually get to about 20. By the third set I can't even make it halfway down after 4 or so reps. I feel like I'm not getting all I can out of this. I can't do a pull up, so, I guess this is my best option.
>20 reps of modified candlesticks or whatever they call them. Reverse dragonflies? Idk. In the moment, these are brutal. But desu I haven't felt any doms in my abs. I'm not sure i can do anymore than 20, very likely half assed reps. This could use a lot of work, I think.
>body weight squats to failure. When I first started last week, I collapsed at 80. Today I felt pretty good until about 130. I think I need to add weight.

I feel like I'm neglecting a lot of muscle groups in my body, but I simply don't have the time. And I fear that I won't commit consternation to a more complicated gym session. I'd rather do half assed training than fall off the wagon entirely.

>>76464155
>Most likely a lack of discipline though.
good take
do discipline but progressively overload it

>>76462493
try out a new hobby
like slingshots

>>76462585
Also resistance bands are really good for getting in a quickie. Takes no space and are easy to whip around.

>>76464378
What lifts for that?

>>76464155
discipline is my kryptonite, I'm trying so hard to build it but I guess I'm not trying hard enough.

>>76464155
I'd argue it's fear of commitment. Don't let yourself start a new project until you finish your current one. Even if the end product sucks, at least you finished it

I've been particularly severely depressed for the past week or so, but I think today Monday might have been the rock bottom lowest point for me. I left the house telling my parents I was going to work (yes, of course I live with my parents, I'm a complete loser after all), got on the bike, got downtown to the subway station at around 745 am. I then proceeded to call off work and spend the next 8 hours, a full work day Monday, either sitting in front of the station, pacing in front of the station, or biking aimlessly again around downtown. Never spoke to another person, spent most of the time talking to myself hating myself. Did literally nothing for the entire day.

It's so weird to me biking around a downtown at 10am, 11am, 1pm, 2pm on a weekday afternoon and seeing people eating in groups in restaurants, lots of cars driving down the main streets, random weird little shops open, etc. I'm still inhuman enough to think that it feels like town restaurants and retail shops should be dead and closed from like 9am-3pm on weekdays because isn't everyone at work? Like I just don't understand this part of human society.

Anyway, I sincerely hope that I'm dead by the end of the year. I need to make sure that I don't ever go into my workplace again due to some shit they started doing, so I'm probably just going to keep calling off using my PTO saying I have a medical situation (which is true, considering the complete mental health crisis I am in) and then just say I'm never coming back. Or have to file some family medical leave citing a health crisis and then never coming back. The job has driven me to suicide so I can't take it anymore. And with my resume and lack of skills and severe depression and repellant personality, no place will probably hire me anyway, so I'll kill myself anyway

I just made enough chicken-beans-rice to be a full week of high protein meals. Sampled the chicken before I shredded it abd it was juicy as fuck. I look forward to fueling my protein farts with this.

Can I work out again or do I have to wait for my post-infectous cough to cease?
It's already been over 10 days and I'm bored out of my mind

>know I should fast a bit to lose weight quicker
>know that I should cut down even more on unhealthy foods to improve gains
>know that I should stop gooning because it isn't good for you
>know that I should stop playing so much vidya because it's a distraction
>do all of that and feel even more like shit because I have no friends, no girls and nothing to do to ease this depression
>go back to my vices in 3-4 days

It's even worse because I live in a country that's famous for people being super friendly and outgoing and casual sex is so rampant that the average body count is like 15 and everyone is having fun yet I'm here, a friendless wizard. Can someone recommend me some meditation tricks or something so I can at least hold out fasting long enough to get to 75 kg because I don't think I have strong enough willpower to power through the despair otherwise.

>>76465104
Moderation is the key to most things.
It's very difficult to stop every vice entirely, but you can reduce it to a manageable level.
You can have one wank a day, and one snack a day, and you'll make solid progress.
If you try to become a monk then you're making it very hard for yourself.

I got a text an hour ago from one of my closest friends, who I lost contact with more than a decade ago because he had to move just before high school started up, asking me if I remember who he was as he saw my name show up on facebook as "someone you might know." I sent him one back saying I remember him too, but now that the sheer happiness I'm feeling is going away, I'm getting terrified about how he'll react if we ever hang out, and as to how I'll react if he's too different to how I remember him.

My former absolute best friend went away for a few years, only to come back a completely different person which utterly destroyed me because he was into drugs, sex, and partying to the degree he would've fit right in on shows like Jersey/Geordie Shore, instead of the kid I'd talk about books, vidya, Dragon Ball, and extremely niche insider-joke shit with. This guy's been away even longer.

He also knows me as a nerd, which is fine because I still am I guess, but where he'd remember me drowning in optimism for the future, not being able to wait to go to University and become a scientist or some shit, and being on good terms with most people, all he'll see now is a cripplingly anxious broken shell of a person addicted to degenerate furry porn who's done completely fucking nothing in life and is totally averse to online social interaction.

I don't want to fuck things up if something ever comes of this because he's all I have left of a time where I was truly happy, and if I'm being brutally honest with myself, he's probably the only person I've ever had romantic feelings for, homo or otherwise.

>>76465178
It's okay to feel nervous about that but in the end you can't really do anything about it if he did change. Temper your expectations.

>>76464718
stay strong fren

I finally reached 200 bench! It's been an year and a half since I've been working out regularly and even though I did run regularly throughout my life, I've never been able to gain weight until I started counting protein intake. SS GOMAD surprisingly works although the first two months were rather shitty.

>>76465178
>>76465217
Anthro women are based, people with high test al agree.
Your friend will agree with that and then agree to a little romping.
Maybe not.
It'll be a good time.

>>76464220
literally just download stronglifts and start with the bar

>>76464768
You’re doing great work preparing for the next week! Got any tips on making juicy meal prep chicken?

Feeling good about a job I applied for.
Not really the dream job, but it is the dream company. And I'm happy to work my way up from the mailroom.

>>76465842
not OP but zest a lemon, cut it in half and squeeze the juice into the bag. couple spoons of minced garlic. salt and pepper, bit of olive oil. let it marinate for three or four hours.

get a pan hot, turn it down to medium heat, and then add a bit of olive oil. add chicken for three minutes each side, turn down to medium low, then cover for five minutes, flip, five more minutes, pull the chicken out and let rest for five minutes or so then cut it up.

>>76464405
1 set of doing the project for 5 min each day.
Then, apply progressive overload.

>>76464718
>(yes, of course I live with my parents, I'm a complete loser after all),
In this economy?
lmao.

>>76462762
>Zoomers, live this fucking place and throw all your effort into developing a decent social life,
Zoomers are already in their mid-late 20s.
It's gen alpha era now.

I've just finished one of the things which was giving me tons of stress work-wise AND got publicly praised for it AND talked a bunch to the people I don't know (including a cute girl).
I'm still riding that high, but I feel like we're all gonna make it bros. You, who went to sleep a bit earlier than usual? You're gonna make it. You, who ate a little bit healthier today? Definitely gonna make it. And you, who feel suicidal but keep on living despite everything? Sure as hell are going to make it.
I pledge to myself here and now that tomorrow and the day after I'm going to do even better. I won't waste time on vidya, I will proactively talk to people, and I will make the best use of my limited time. You, the anon reading this, is my witness.

>>76465004
I’d give yourself time to rest. You shouldn’t return to the gym until you’ve fully recovered

>>76465999
Youngest zoomers are currently fifteen. Hell there are still millennials that are in their late 20s.

>>76466196
>be part of the earlier zoomer generation
>zoomer culture seems so fucking foreign to me
I still remember burning CDs to listen to music

I have a ganglion cyst on my wrist, below my palm.

Guess I'm not doing bench this month?

>>76466196
>tfw my son is gen Beta

>>76466290
Your son is gonna be a beta male.

>>76466211
>>76466290
The more I think about it the more I'm convinced that the 1990-2005 cohort should have been their own separate generation and the pre-1990 millennials folded into Gen X. Because the youngest millennials have basically nothing in common culture-wise with older millennials while the older zoomers are closer in terms of cultural understanding to the former than the youngest zoomers.

>>76466457
I’m 1997 and I always see 1996-1999 as a separate tribe (zillennial)

>>76465178
If he’s a real friend, he’ll still like you. Be grateful that someone cares about you enough to reach out like that. In return, use it as motivation to get your life together

>>76465178
That opportunity is no different from skydiving. Pull yourself together and just jump off the plane(get with your bro). You think you're degenerate, but there's always someone even more depraved and you surely are behind the point of no return. Not gonna lie, I think we're all born just in time to watch the world burn, so having friends and loved ones with you is a whole lot better than being lonely when the world burns up.

>>76466211
I've ended up collecting old CDs from a flea market. 20 years back, that would've costed me 10-20 bucks each from their Block Buster shelves. Now I'm scoring them within the 1-3 buck range, the little booklets inside the cases too. Heat, Fight Club, Top Gear, and more, it feels liberating. Hell, even the occasional VHS lands in my hands.

>>76465478
Congrats on your bench! You’ve worked hard and can now see your results

Guys... i think i bagged a goth baddie. But she started to call out my avoidant behaviour. Chat am i cooked?

>>76465922
Thanks for the tips

>>76465868
Good luck bro! There’s no shame in starting from the bottom if you can reach the top eventually

>>76432742
It’s the most freeing feeling ever, solo hiking for me is absolute bliss