>>76553810
You have psychological erectile dysfunction and/or anorgasmia. It's 100% a mental issue, very common, and very understandable. After so long without sex you've built it up in your head and find it difficult to just relax and enjoy it in the moment, instead you're busy distracting yourself with
>"will I cum? I probably won't cum. What's this sensation? Am I losing erection? I'm losing hardness, I just know it. Shit, this is a disaster. Has the girl noticed yet? I bet she's thinking I'm a loser. I wonder if she'll be insulted? Oh my god, what kind of a loser doesn't stay hard for a hot girl. Fuck fuck fuck"
A viagra can definitely help, even though you've proved to yourself you don't NEED it. But it can help you "brute force" a boner when you're anxious.
The main thing is to just enjoy the encounter for what it is, a rock hard boner isn't the be all and end all (although it's obviously nice to have), ejaculating isn't the be all and end all (although naturally that's your goal). Adopt an improvement mindset rather than a perfection mindset. The goal isn't to go from virgin to porn star overnight, its to make some improvement or discovery each time, and even if it feels like you're making no progress at all, you'll at least be gaining familiarity with sex and making it less of a scary, unknown thing.
T. In two years I went from not being able to get an erection with a hooker who was alternately slobbing and bouncing on my dick, when I had taken two viagras, to now creampieing girls at least 50% of the time when I want to