Thread 76586340

>calf raises
>have a cow now

>bench press
>don't even read the news

>jumping jacks
>my name is john

>decline bench
>do it anyway

>curls
>my hair is straight

>farmers walks
>I'm a city slicker

>>76586361
Well, pardon us, Mr. Gucci loafers.

>bulgarian split squats
>no bulgarians to split them with

>ez bar curl
>not easy

>leg extensions
>not getting taller

>clean and jerk
>now I have to shower again

>concentration curls
>i'm not in auschwitz

>>76586340 (OP)
>chest press
>friend asked me to stop

>ab crunches
>have to go to the ER

>squat
>they can't evict me without a court ruling

>French Press
>Poor coffee into my mug

>>76586754
>french press
>actually only have a moka pot

>stomach crunch
>it's actually quite soft and quiet

>>76586340 (OP)
don't have a cow man!

>good mornings
>in the evening

>Preacher curls
>Am an atheist

>Romanian Deadlift
>Can't find a dead Romanian

>Smith squat
>don't even own a forge

>barbell row
>worse at rowing than an oar

>running
>nobody pursuing me

>cycle
>male

>pull-ups
>none left for the todlers

the world would be a better place if masons never existed

>hip thrust
>look like a total square

>resistance bands
>thousands of retarded hippies pull up

>>76586960
>Romanian deadlifts
>end up robbing graves with these two scary looking guys named Constantin and Alexandru

>gym
>wears clothes

>>76587415
>sumo deadlift
>loses tournament and commits sudoku

>seated rear delt fly
>missed my connection
>have to wait at ORD for 6 hours

>rows
>dont live close to a body of water

>planks
>not made of wood

>burpees
>I dont apologize

>>76587502
>planks
>scared of pirates

>mountain climbers
>scared of heights

>body building
>investigated for unethical experimentation

>>76586340 (OP)
i work in the meat department and that shit's hilarious

>rock climbing
>it’s still on the ground

>facepull
>yeah, I'll give my dick a rest

>freestyle swim
>flail randomly and drown to death

>box jumping
>get punched in the balls

>skull crushers
>best I can do is beer cans

>suicides
>die

>french twists
>le petit dejeuner

woops, they're Russian

>cable crossover
>it never gets aired

>>76586340 (OP)
>weighted dips
>*tips fedora*

>skull crushers
>my head remains intact

>power cleans
>everything is as dirty as before

>hammer curl
>it's a dumbbell, not a hammer

>Leg press
>Fake news

>Smith machine
>My name is Jonathan

>Hip thrusts
>I am a 34yo virgin

>>76586340 (OP)
Boneless pork rectums are served in restaurants as calimari.

>>76586340 (OP)
>reverse fly
>I'm not a hummingbird

>hammer curls?
>I barely know her!

>Sissy Squat
>Regular Squats to me

>>76586340 (OP)
>have a cow
^--- Don't do this!

>>76586344
news? yeah i frequent pol and x

>kroc rows
>I'm wearing sneakers

>chin up
>have positive outlook

>dips
>no chips

>Guillotine press
>Lose head

>>76588159
kek
must be a real heavyweight

>>76586340 (OP)
>Hindu squat
>Shit on the street

>Deadlift
>Still alive

>Chest press
>She slaps me

>Nordic curl
>Im mediterranean

>>76586340 (OP)
>Cable flies
>Can't catch it

>>76590401
>Bicep curls
>Auch

>Farmer's carry
>doesn't have a farm

>>76590401
best one so far

>>76590392
Ha

>fireman carry
>burn lungs
>injured person retrieved
>no regrets

>>76586340 (OP)
>suitcase carries
>nowhere to go :(

>ruck
>ruh-roh, Raggy

>Leg extensions
>Legs don't actually get longer

>clappers
>lights sut off

>kickbox
>it breaks
>regret

>rowing machine
>"that's racist"

>chin up
>been staring at the ceiling ever since

>lunges
>made you flinch

>>76587511
A burper is the one who burps and is obliged to apologise for burping. A burpee is the burp receiver, the one who gets burped on, and not apologising is their default state.

>>76586340 (OP)
>Boneless pork rectum
Nah, I want bone-in pork rectum

>dumbell row
>a whole neighborhood full of retards

>farmers walk
>while having a tractor to do it

>clean and jerk
>get charged with indeceny

>cable fly
>no lift; fall and die

>Deadlift
>The dead remain at rest

>goblet squat
>can't get it out

>>76596285
>1man1jar

>speed bag
>get arrested for smuggling

>>76586340 (OP)
>bench press
>not even judge

>do dragon flags
>house is full of Country of Wales banners

>seated row
>standing column

>gym friend asks me to be his running mate too
>can now break ties in the senate

The best thread on /fit/ in a while.

>weight loss
>actually a victory

>doing pilates
>somehow pirates showed up

>>76599930
Chinese pirates.

>>76586383
>farmer's walks
>I bought these shoes from a hobo

>Hack Squats
>I'm just a skid

>bench press
>the bench confessed everything

>bench press
>user-generated news is the news now

>hip abductions
>they're actually really lame
far out man

>dumbbell
>doesnt look dumb or even a bell

>dumbbell
>doesn't ring

>>76586340 (OP)
>Military press
>Wife is still loyal

>power cleans

> my house is spotless
> neighbor's house is spotless
> now have a cleaning business with many happy customers

>drag curls
>I will never be a woman

>snatch
>get arrested

>squat
>get a free house

>>76603341
> t. Spaniard

>>76586340 (OP)
>boneless
Not for long

>>76603659
lmao

>hypertrophy
>cant settle

>autophagy
>viruses ate my car

>>76605106
> autofagy
> automobile got fucked by a bunch of homos

>overhead press
https://youtu.be/jUyWS6j5rS4?si=x0BwKtRzsFZNL8Oi

>iron man
>the superior race

>>76587477
thanks anon

>strict press
>get accused of setting up a dictatorship

>do intermittent fasting
>feel slower

>Sit in the Captain's Chair
>I got no crew

>Russian twists
>ending is completely predictable

>>76588086
>box jumping
>get maced
>not allowed within 500 feet of schools

>planks
>end up in Davy Jones Locker Room
>booty gets plundered
>reek of fish

>>76586340 (OP)
>Boneless
Heh. Not for long.

>>76609251
kek

>>76609219
Mr. Krabs?

>>76609591
>calisthenics class doing crab reaches
>all of the sudden can’t finish muscle-up set

>tire flip
>cause massive pileup
>16 dead
>all lanes blocked; jammed for miles

>dips
>not dancing

>French press
>"Not my baby"

>>76586451
lel

>tricep dip
>it's mostly onion and sour cream

>ab roller
>doesn't have turbocharger

>>76611862
>deadlift
>they make a religion out of it