Thread 76594587

Are you/fit/ enough to protect yourself in prison?

>>76594587 (OP)
They don't need to fight you for it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKZ4WPnEV1U

>>76594587 (OP)
imagine ending up in prison. oh my, bodybuilding really is just sports for the most stupid people

>>76594587 (OP)
Lemme see the paperwork wood, everyone gotta do it.
>yes your honor i in fact did perform a "flying tiger punch" to mr gump's forehead after he said he would not let me have sex with his daughter for whatever reason

>>76594587 (OP)
Is it really necessary to put 18yos in 2 man cells with homosexuals?

>>76594794
Cant do the time dont do the crime

>>76594797
>Crime: talked shit about immigrants on the internet

>>76595200
If you're not willing to behead monarchs you're choosing serfdom.

>>76595218
>so sir you were trying to... and i quote, "fuck niggers in the ass because niggers are gay?"

>>76595244
You cant prove anything until you can prove i was more than half erect. I rest my case your honor, my "gay ass case."

>>76594783
>well were you trying to have sex with his daughter while black?

>>76595257
No comment

>>76595261
Sir if you find a place to put that watermelon i am going to throw your case away just like that. This is a court of law not some kind of gathering of retards.

>>76594776
Prison is honestly a pretty good place to get good at bodybuilding since they only give you like 15g of protein average unless you have 50 dollars a day.

>>76594587 (OP)
My butt balloon niggas gon fuck ya if ya dont give up them cheeks stoopy ass muthafuckin white boi.

>>76595287
Alright black nigger thats it im suing your ass.

>>76594783
Sir it is perfectly legal to fuck your daughter i hate to say it. But if you dont set up a date you can rot in jail for the rest of your fucking life.

>>76595296
I have to set up a date? This country needs fixing. The founding fathers would never stand for black on white fornication and you know that just as well as i do. What if i told you if you dont send the n- ahem blacks back to another continent then they are going to hot dog your daughters ass and jack off on her boobs?

>>76594587 (OP)
IF YOU LIVE IN THE SOUTH AND YOURE A CIVILIAN, JUST BECOME MUSLIM IN PRISON/JAIL YOULL HAVE THE PROTECTION OF YOUR MUSLIM BROTHERS

>>76594765
>>76594587 (OP)
usually these dudes prey on unsuspecting young white boys, usually twinks

>>76595304
Sir im afraid to tell you but black is better. I found the blackest woman possible and i fucked her until she called me a colonialist racist asshole. Then she started saying phrases from 80s black media and singing soul music over a jazz instrumental with 808 drums.

>>76595322
Noooooooooo, a white cuck wins again. Youll rue the day you fucked with cletus mcboobynasty.

>>76595313
But for real at what point can they just keep sending on butt ballon guys into your cell before they break out the beanbags and tear gas or they stop coming through the door?

>>76594587 (OP)
Sir if you try to fuck me in MY ass? Oh boy you have another thing coming.

>>76594587 (OP)
I did 5 years and prison is nothing like how it's presented in media lol. Most of the guys in there are out of shape and can't fight, it's not really like in movies where they're all jacked, tatted up masters of hand to hand combat

>>76595349
They used to be jacked when there was weights in prison
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYGsg5KIkV8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXJbIKUwTmE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuBVo_H6fD8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuckH4ok09o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYGsg5KIkV8

>>76595349
You were probably in low security when my sentence was raised to a felony i went to a cell block with blatantly bigger and stronger dudes. If youre a violent criminal youll be sharing a room with someone way more likely to like man ass and youre just waiting for him to try and get close. A good tactic is to do karate stretches and shit to see if they get all serious and shit.

>>76595349
Or ask other people about your cellmate. If all the retards walking around like dipshits doing stupid exercises vouch for him you might want to stay hungry at night and act asleep. Theyll also try to keep you awake and war of attrition you. Its a good idea to ask them if they know martial arts and pretend to reflexively take a stance to kick them in bed and to also sleep during the day.

>>76594776
You never broke a single law in your life? I dont believe it.

>>76595349
Former CO here. I agree. It's a lot of old fatties. Even the jacked guys are no.march for the taser or gas.
>>76595356
We took those out because people get silly with them (weapons)

>billy club made of rocks and milk+creamer-laminated newspaper
>armor made of rocks and milk+creamer-laminated newspaper
shrimple as, most of the shanks don't work very well.

>>76594587 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U1v2xWbTvs

>>76595409
Why you COs are gain goblins

>>76595200
Fuck. Can you imagine?
>what are you in for?
>antisemitism
>oh, you want to join the aryan brotherhood?
>no, I'm a real nazi not a crimefag
*stabs you repeatedly

>>76595494
Gotta pull it outta your ass first and you have to dodge my spinning 360 twinkle toes too baloon boy.

>>76594587 (OP)
>Are you/fit/ enough to protect yourself in prison?
prison (in my country) was pretty chill desu
nothing like in the american movies

most of the day was working out, reading and doing a remote university degree
even had access to a printer and a PC with gimp so I did a lot irl shitposting
the people were mostly chill and you could easily avoid the retards
not a single fight when I was there
later the closed psych ward itself was actually /comfy/
but lots of really weird people and you couldn't really talk to most

>>76594587 (OP)
All you need is two lotion bottles full of shit and nobody will mess with you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-y7DHWHfxg

>>76595318
Bullshit. Fags usually prey on their own race. Lot less chance of consequences.
t. Did 3 years.

>>76594587 (OP)
being /fit/ matters less than not being a bitch
of course, if you're not a bitch, and you meet El Tyronus Maximus, you still gotta be /fit/
am I /fit/ enough to protect myself in prison?
no
am I not a bitch enough to reduce the number of opportunities other people will have that I'll need to be /fit/ for?
also no
i better not go to prison

>>76594587 (OP)
Itd look like a scene out of a bruce lee movie

>>76594587 (OP)
Your best chance at staying safe in prison is to be the prettiest one and have inmates be nice to you because they want to fuck you

if everyone in prison was my height sure I'd be the alpha but I'm 5'7 so if a 6'4 nigger wants to rape me I'd be pretty fucked
the way to survive in prison is having money anyways. my father is fuckign loaded, I'd just ask him to buy tvs for every big nigger's family and save my ass that way

>>76594797
>crime: killed every kike west of the Volga
I’ll take my lumps like a man, haul me away ZOGhogs.

>>76594587 (OP)
As long as u can fight when neccesary, dont take drugs or get into debt . Youll be ok in prison

>>76596954
Theyd extort you for every penny they could then rape your ass. You have to stand your ground in prison or else youll be seen as subhuman

Why is /fit/ so obsessed with prison? I doubt more than a couple /fit/izens ever did time.
Are you just fantasizing about putting out for the booty warrior?

>>76599677
youd be the bell of the ball

>>76599704
kek

>>76595313
All muslims in prison drink hootch and engage in gay sex

>>76596977
Based and Tiger II pilled.