Good morning, anon.
I think you know why we called you into HR today

>>105620696 (OP)
we saw you posting on the 4chan with some odd messages. Let me read them out to you

>>105620696 (OP)
Call me into HR? I'm the boss of the company, you're fired. Who even hired you in the first place? They're fired too.

and whats this here about "normalniggers"?

Oh no, is it penis inspection day again?

>>105620732
BASED

No. I don't.

>>105620735
whoa i dont like that term, you can see here i actually called them normgroids

>>105620696 (OP)
Because of what a forward young man I am?

>>105620732
>t.

>>105620696 (OP)
Because I cleared RERe during company hours?

>>105620696 (OP)
I demand to see my designated union representative

>>105620696 (OP)
No, is everything okay!?

>>105620962
That chair makes it look like someone's hand is creeping over her left shoulder

I hate the webcam stupid snout grinning so much.

>>105620967
lmao I can't unsee that anymore

I have no idea why you called me here. If you check the access logs, which I have access to, you will see I haven’t done anything wrong.

>>105620696 (OP)
>Screenshot 2025-06-17 205355.png
Anon is a SEA.

>>105620696 (OP)
I need to deal with HR today, a coworker has been harassing me and insists im the problem

Wish me luck /g/

>>105620696 (OP)
Let me just... lock the doors

>Listen, I know I promised I'd do you some "favours" to get the job, but never expected that it would be a daily occurrence for me. Could you please let me off? I always feel so used and objectified afterwards.
>I don't see the value in filling out my wellness surveys.

>>105620696 (OP)
It must be about that raise I've been asking for for 5 years. :D

>>105620696 (OP)

>>105621004
Tell us more.

>>105620696 (OP)
im starting my own business, in part, to never again have to interact with a mentally retarded HR/recruiting whore.

>>105620696 (OP)
Fuck, I thought penis inspections were on Thursday!

>>105620696 (OP)
is this about my new boyfriend?

>>105620696 (OP)
>look, i know we're not supposed to get the female interns drunk and have them run obstacle courses in their underwear, but...

>>105620696 (OP)
What do you mean I can't use the N word anymore.? What is the point of this site if I can't be racist to other Ethnicities.?!!!

>>105620962
Lately the side of her head with the hair tucked back would have been shaved off instead

>>105621004
Tell HR he said nigger

>>105620696 (OP)
It's not my fault

>>105620696 (OP)

Yep. I’m backed up and ready for you to refresh me

>>105620696 (OP)
tell me you're a bdsm sex crazed submissive cumslut tranny without telling me deep down you want some schizo grade dom to watch hentai with while he has his cock jammed down your throat and you gasp for air while one of his buddies jam his cock up your cock.

>>105620696 (OP)
Surprising you think I would be employed

>Work from remote, no women in company.
Feels good.

>>105620696 (OP)
So I'm hired? Nice.

>>105620732
Only correct response

>>105620696 (OP)
my company laid off thousands of HR positions and replaced them with AI

Yeah bitch I know what's up. You saw my IG story where I was at the pool party with Stacey? Just to let you know, we aren't fucking YET. She invited me out to make me jealous or some shit.

So let me bend your ass over bitch. What time am I going to get my dick sucked today? I'm. ready I have condoms in my car because I heard from Chad you have Herpes.

>>105620696 (OP)
Does this have anything to do with me calling Jeff a useless fucking retard? Because that's exactly what he is, he'd never be able to do his job without me telling him how to do it. I don't know what you guys pay him for.

>>105621567
>picrel
kek

>>105620696 (OP)
If I knew, I would not have bothered showing up to the meeting and would've just ghosted the job already.

>>105621006
kek

>>105627073
>n-no, but thank you, we will, uh, certainly look into that
>last night you
>uh, orI should say an IP address associated with your credentials
>logged into the production database server
>which we have been keeping a close eye on since the last, uh, incident
>and typed
>N
>I
>G
>G
>E
>… well you get the idea, followed by 6 backspaces
>then simply logout
>can you help us shed a little bit of light on what may be going on here
wat do

>>105620696 (OP)
To.. sit on my face?

>>105620725
>NIGGA HEIL HITLER
>ALL MY NIGGAS ARE NAZIS
>NIGGA HEIL HITLER

I've been brazenly trying to get fired for almost 2 years, got one handslap from HR via my manager, they didn't even reach out to me directly. I haven't done anything illegal or physical of course as I don't want repercussions after, I just want to use my leverage while getting fired to try to get a generous exit package. I've come to realize the company likely knows this strategy and will just wait me out.

I never had an issue with HR since I'm generally nice, easy going and don't give a fuck about what other people think. It's big dick energy so the HR girls always end up swooning over me and fighting for my attention. The trick is to not sleep with any of them so they don't get jealous that you showed one of them attention and start plotting to ruin your life.

That said I figured out a life hack to avoid most of the faggy drama in the modern work place. Whenever they start accusing me of being racist/bigot/insensitive to the fags/not being a team player I pretend to be upset and give them the look like I'm about to be really serious. Then I pretend to bear my soul and tell them about how I always wanted to be a girl but I had to hide it from everyone growing up because my father was abusive and beat me everyday after my mother left. After that I beg them to keep it to themself and then act awkward and weird whenever I'm in the room alone with that person in the future. They end up taking pity and think they've gotten me to "open up" to them. 9 times out of 10 they don't keep it to themselves. In fact, they usually tell the first person they're able to gossip with all about it. But no one believes them most of the time because it's unthinkable that someone with the personality type I have would ever say something like that.

Plus I'm pretty likeable and "team player" in the real sense of the word so generally the moment anyone tries to conspire against me they just end up pissing everyone else off.

I hate office politics but I'm really good at playing them. I should probably do it more often. Also I do actually want to be a girl. But I want to be 2D anime girl. Since that's not ever going to happen in this life time I lean hard into enjoying life as a man and all the perks that come with it. I basically shitpost IRL all day and no one cares because most people like a "straight shooter".

>>105628540
You sound schizophrenic. Based and may you always be one step ahead of your enemies.

>>105628591
75% of my success in life is directly tied to my accent. The other 25% comes from not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks.

I have walked off the job twice. Both times they called me back by the next day and begged me to return. I don't know what I'm doing that people love so much. But they get really sad whenever I stop showing up. My main issue is people can't tell when I'm joking or being serious. Most of the time it isn't a big deal. But from time to time it has caused problems.

>>105620732
>t. wakes up from the dream

>>105620740
I'm still a virgin so you don't have to inspect it again.

> No, i been prepping for the companies freedom month