How the was Henry the 8th so fucking fat? - /his/ (#17794728) [Archived: 768 hours ago]

Anonymous
6/27/2025, 3:46:08 AM No.17794728
henry viii obese British Library Public Domain
henry viii obese British Library Public Domain
md5: a267cb4c025710f51d23c6056cbdb8d1🔍
>no trans-fats
>no refined sugars/corn syrup
>no "molecular slurry" ultra processed foods
>no "red 40" coloring
>no 1,000% daily salt in everything
>no GMO's
>no microplastics
>no "artificial flavors & preservatives"
>no prepacked food (everything took hours to make)
>etc
Replies: >>17794733 >>17794737 >>17794751 >>17794816 >>17794916 >>17794919 >>17794954 >>17794986 >>17794989 >>17794994 >>17795033 >>17795060 >>17795227 >>17797350 >>17797419 >>17797434 >>17797522 >>17797634 >>17798039 >>17798043
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 3:47:54 AM No.17794733
>>17794728 (OP)
Booze and banquets.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 3:51:02 AM No.17794737
>>17794728 (OP)
Without Catholic values he had nothing holding his gluttony accountable (Protestants will obviously storms greater morale ills but lesser ones like overeatting and over consumption they do not care a lock for). He was the first "modern" Anglo in a way. Basically all of America (and the anglo-sphere in general) is a reflection of his abandonment of Catholic values.
Replies: >>17794740 >>17794741 >>17794743 >>17794748 >>17794891
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 3:52:21 AM No.17794740
>>17794737
>Catholic values
You mean like gluttony?
Replies: >>17794788
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 3:52:27 AM No.17794741
>>17794737
>Henry the 8th and Americans are fat cause they're not catholic
Ok then explain why Mexico is fucking fat?
Replies: >>17794788
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 3:53:38 AM No.17794743
>>17794737
>you don’t worship Mary or let priests fuck your lids that’s why he’s fat
trooncath
Replies: >>17794788
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 3:55:46 AM No.17794748
>>17794737
TIL: Sancho I of León was a timetravelling protestant
Replies: >>17794750 >>17794788 >>17795047
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 3:58:07 AM No.17794750
>>17794748
Tradcaths unironically say Muhammad was a Protestant so why not
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 3:59:10 AM No.17794751
>>17794728 (OP)
Did he ever do any exercise?
Replies: >>17794819
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:20:42 AM No.17794788
>>17794740
>>17794741
>>17794743
>>17794748
I'm talking about social conditioning dumb fucks. Protestants don't care is about over consumption (cause "muh rights" argument). It's literally a deadly sin in Catholic societies. And church of England protestants are the most deviant in this regard, AND Henry 8 is DIRECTLY responsible for this social shift.
Replies: >>17794809 >>17794827 >>17795002 >>17796771
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:31:39 AM No.17794809
>>17794788
Catholics are fat as fuck what are you talking about.
Replies: >>17794813
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:33:10 AM No.17794813
>>17794809
not as fat as yo mama ohhhh
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:34:12 AM No.17794816
IMG_1812
IMG_1812
md5: 27763d7730c38cce60bfb4524407a530🔍
>>17794728 (OP)
Henry viii was actually muscular- fat. Like he was a bit tubby but he was also an accomplished wrestler who worked out all the time and he was known for that during his own lifetime.

The entire image of Henry as an obese idiotic manchild is because of the Charles Laughton movie which depicted him that way. It just entered the popular consciousness and never left.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v4tOb9J7W2k
Replies: >>17797400 >>17798068
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:35:56 AM No.17794819
>>17794751
Yes, he was a famous wrestler who actually challenged foreign princes to fights when they visited him. You’d know this if you actually read anything about him.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:41:42 AM No.17794827
>>17794788
Norway, Denmark, and Sweden have substantially lower obesity rates than muh based Poland, Malta, and Croatia - let alone Latinxistan - so its back to the drawing board with that one, tostiloco
Replies: >>17794924
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:51:42 AM No.17794841
He couldn't exercise after the jousting accident in 1536 and overeating allowed him to become grotesquely overweight. His final years were the closest thing to Hell a man could experience.
Replies: >>17794848 >>17794851
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:56:12 AM No.17794847
All it takes is gorging meat, alcohol, and sweets and never touching a vegetable. The lack of modern processed food in the 1500s is immaterial; Martin Luther and Charles V also suffered excruciating health issues at the end caused by overeating and over-drinking.
Replies: >>17797516
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:56:45 AM No.17794848
>>17794841
At the very least, his last wife was the only one to not cheat on him, die immediately within a year of marrying him or just get divorced because she had no interest in him so in that regard he won.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 4:59:06 AM No.17794851
>>17794841
it was terrible

>Henry weighed over 300 pounds
>could barely move
>had constant and horrible-smelling leg sores that wouldn't heal and resisted all medical intervention
>after he died and his body lay in state decomposition fluids leaked from the coffin and wild dogs entered the church and lapped them up
Replies: >>17797427
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 5:23:36 AM No.17794891
>>17794737
Historically illiterate take. Henry VIII still believed himself to be a Catholic until the day he died and everything the Church of England did was essential Catholic but without the Pope’s overlordship.
Replies: >>17794931
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 5:31:40 AM No.17794916
>>17794728 (OP)
The man jousted frequently and ate the amount of calories sufficient for an athlete, then ended up getting injured in a jousting match and had to reluctantly stop engaging in the hobby. Calories in, calories out.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 5:32:43 AM No.17794919
>>17794728 (OP)
Lmao what a fat, ugly, pile of shit. You just know everyone around him fucking hated him and were disgusted at the sight of him. Fat fuck.
Replies: >>17794950
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 5:34:13 AM No.17794924
>>17794827
>Norway, Denmark, and Sweden
NOT THE ANGLOSPHERE DUMB FUCK. NOT RELATED TO HENRY 8 DUMB FUCK.
Replies: >>17794996
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 5:38:07 AM No.17794931
>>17794891
>He was a Catholic
Mmmm hmmm and Hitler was a left wing socialist and Stalin was a pan-slavic traditionalist and up is down and left is right. What's with you people here having these awful revisionist takes? Are you that contrarian brained?
Replies: >>17795437
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 5:45:05 AM No.17794950
>>17794919
Cope. Henry was the most attractive man in court and had hundreds of mistresses. You wish you had half of his charm.
Replies: >>17795144
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 5:46:40 AM No.17794954
>>17794728 (OP)
1. He ate a lot, he was known for enjoying rich meats
2. He got injured and was unable to move a lot without a lot of pain

He was actually very active and normal sized before the injury
Replies: >>17797518 >>17797634
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:02:29 AM No.17794986
16th century Bam Margera
16th century Bam Margera
md5: 10a39f335d5a93924abcdaa253d0ec80🔍
>>17794728 (OP)
Due to injuries his exercise didn't keep up with his appetite
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:03:50 AM No.17794989
>>17794728 (OP)
because he ate a shitload of food that were calorie dense, but he really got fat when he suffered from an injury that made it far harder for him to exercise, in other words while all that shit you listed makes it easier to get fat, they really aren't as big of a factor as most make it out to be since the primary cause is and will always be getting a lot while doing very little physical activity
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:06:10 AM No.17794994
>>17794728 (OP)
Almost like all that shit you mention is bullshit and just cope by fatties trying to pawn responsibility off.
>ITS THE EVIL CORPORATIONS FORCING ME TO SNACK ON CHIPS AND COOKIES EVERY HOUR BETWEEN MY MEALS OF CARBS AND FAT AND MINIMAL PROTEIN

Fat retards genuinely believe a cookie packaged and sold at a store is uniquely evil and fat inducing vs the same cookie made by grandma which made them fat kid anyways lmfao.

If the average peasant could have eaten like Henry VIII, they would have been fat too.
Average human simply isn't meant to have unlimited access to food. They're animals who will eat as much as they can.
Replies: >>17794998
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:06:22 AM No.17794995
As anon said Martin Luther also ate a very rich, fattening diet and was in poor shape towards the end, severely overweight, gouty, and blind in one eye.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:06:57 AM No.17794996
>>17794924
>Without Catholic values he had nothing holding his gluttony accountable (Protestants will obviously storms greater morale ills but lesser ones like overeatting and over consumption they do not care a lock for).
Nowhere in the original post did you say anything about it being anglo-specific you coping spic, its obvious you're just backpeddling because you're a dumb parochial barriomutt trying to pass your half-assed showerthoughts off as scintillating intellectual insights into the cultural consequences of the Reformation
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:07:33 AM No.17794998
>>17794994
>Average human simply isn't meant to have unlimited access to food. They're animals who will eat as much as they can.
IDK about you but I can't eat to the point of bursting.
Replies: >>17795001 >>17795001
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:10:38 AM No.17795001
>>17794998
>>17794998
The point is you dont need to eat to "feel full" when eating fat fuck favorites like cookies, pastries, pizzas, chips, nuts, and such. The foods are dense and gone quick. Average fatty is snacking 300 calories of carb and fat every hour while burning 100 cal in the same hour and never moving beyond what he needs to for his McJob or Office.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:10:45 AM No.17795002
>>17794788
This guy has not seen Catholic Mexican women
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:11:29 AM No.17795004
The English diet since the Middle Ages was always a pretty shitty one--lots of meat and starch washed down with alcohol while vegetables are snubbed.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:12:31 AM No.17795007
it's really alcohol above all else that causes you to pack on pounds
Replies: >>17795264
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:21:32 AM No.17795033
>>17794728 (OP)
You don't need the modern boogeyman to get fat, for example beer is infamously high in calories and carb.

Eat pork and drink beer and don't move and anyone can get fat in any time period, it's just that most didn't have the luxury of being a sedentary fatass and gorging. He had a genetic disorder and a crippled leg and was probably just a glutton so he got fat.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:22:53 AM No.17795035
Now I don't always eat the best diet despite my best efforts but I'm thin as a rail probably because I don't drink.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:27:34 AM No.17795047
>>17794748
>Sancho I of Leon was fat
He was "fat" for his time but he wasn't reddit mod landwhale he would be a normal person today
Replies: >>17798028
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 6:31:05 AM No.17795060
>>17794728 (OP)
>no refined sugars/corn syrup

anon, I...

https://www.reddit.com/r/history/comments/avgn3r/king_henry_and_his_sugar_plates/
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 7:53:16 AM No.17795144
>>17794950
I could convince hundreds of women to fuck me too if I was a King and had unlimited power. That obese waste of life was born on easy mode.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 9:25:50 AM No.17795227
Eat_All_The_Eggs
Eat_All_The_Eggs
md5: cc607b4201ed0dba03e4e6a121e93671🔍
>>17794728 (OP)
Those kings ate a bowl of eggs and the hens that produced them daily. They really tried to make Trickling Down work by consuming in relation to their fortune, one could say.

But in his case, also depression and other mental illnesses caused by brain damage, I understand.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 9:50:14 AM No.17795264
>>17795007
Even worse, alcohol mostly manifests as visceral fat which is the actually dangerous kind. It's what gives the notable "bloatmaxxed" beer gut appearance.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 12:51:05 PM No.17795437
>>17794931
It’s not a revisionist take or contrarian. It’s common understanding.
>>He was Catholic.
No, understand the nuance of words. He believed himself to still be a Catholic and did everything the Catholic church previously did but with him as the head of the Church. He didn’t embrace non-Catholic theology outside of him being in charge. This goes directly against the idea that he abandoned morals completely. It was his son and Elizabeth, with the Elizabethan Settlement, that made the Church of England properly Protestant in doctrine and theology.
Also, try not to led by sperging about Hitler. It makes you look even less knowledgeable than you might be.
Replies: >>17796097
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 7:21:37 PM No.17796097
>>17795437
Yeah sorry bud but you have to believe in the authority of the church to be Catholic but nice try.
Replies: >>17797989
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 7:24:29 PM No.17796101
i'm 36 don't have an ounce of extra fat on me but there are all too many the same age who look like a complete train wreck and drinking has a lot to do with it
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 12:18:48 AM No.17796771
>>17794788
imagine being this retarded.
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 5:37:39 AM No.17797350
>>17794728 (OP)
He wasn't. Only in his later life did he become a fat fucker.
Supposedly he was quite good looking in his youth.
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 5:57:54 AM No.17797400
>>17794816
Cope. He was a disgusting lardass.
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 6:10:11 AM No.17797419
>>17794728 (OP)
The english breakfast
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 6:15:02 AM No.17797427
>>17794851
>had constant and horrible-smelling leg sores that wouldn't heal and resisted all medical intervention.
Sounds like bad circulation/diabetes
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 6:21:31 AM No.17797434
>>17794728 (OP)
Eating and drinking too much is still eating and drinking too much regardless of the current boogeyman
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 7:23:53 AM No.17797516
>>17794847
Analysis of the mummy of hatshepsut also shows that when she died she was morbidly obese, gout stricken, and had badly rotten teeth
Replies: >>17797517
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 7:24:33 AM No.17797517
>>17797516
she was a prottie too o algo
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 7:25:41 AM No.17797518
>>17794954
>He was actually very active and normal sized before the injury
Always loved the line in Wolf Hall that "back then he was even trim if you looked at him from the right angle"
Replies: >>17797634
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 7:29:29 AM No.17797522
>>17794728 (OP)
If you eat more calories than you need you get fat; how did you think wild animals store fat for winter?
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 9:25:39 AM No.17797634
evolution-of-henry-viiis-armors-over-a-period-of-30-years-v0-xma1341vrybb1
>>17794728 (OP)
>>17797518
>>17794954
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 2:54:28 PM No.17797989
IMG_6645
IMG_6645
md5: 43db2dd01991673ab57b1ff940c0bc23🔍
>>17796097
Pick this up at your local bookstore. Look up some of the words I used and then you can try to come back.
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 3:15:30 PM No.17798028
>>17795047
>he would be a normal person today
ameriwhales aren't normal
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 3:22:11 PM No.17798039
>>17794728 (OP)
He got fat by eating a lot. What does all that shit have to do with disease?

>inb4 muh toxins n muh crystals
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 3:23:35 PM No.17798043
>>17794728 (OP)
He got fat by eating a lot. What does all that shit have to do with being fat?

>inb4 muh toxins n muh crystals
Anonymous
6/28/2025, 3:44:05 PM No.17798068
>>17794816
Yeah, he WAS a wrestler
Then he got fat and sickly