Bible bros, did we update our cognitive dissonance cope to match up with the recent discoveries?

>be archaeologist
>dig around Sinai for decades
>find literally zero evidence of millions of Israelites wandering for 40 years
>Exodus not even once
>read about Jericho walls falling from trumpet blast
>actually check Jericho
>city was already destroyed centuries before Joshua would’ve arrived
>bible cope intensifies
>open Bible
>David and Solomon had giga-kingdom with gold, palaces, empire vibes
>check archaeological record
>barely find a few huts and broken pottery
>“unified monarchy” my ass
>see Philistines mentioned in Abraham’s time
>they didn’t even exist yet
>bible.exe has stopped working
>global flood with Noah and zoo boat
>geology and archaeology: “nah bro, never happened”
>no flood layers, no mass extinction, no ark debris
>boat story just vibes
>look up ancient records from Egypt, Assyria, Babylon
>expect epic Bible battles and plagues
>records: “who?”
>Bible getting ghosted by history
>dig in Canaan
>expect foreign Israelite invaders
>instead find Canaanites slowly evolving into Israelites
>“conquest of Canaan” was just a rebrand
>analyze Hebrew texts
>turns out most were written centuries after events they describe
>tfw your holy book is historical fanfic

what now? "we just haven't dug deep enough"? Bible bros are always updating the cope.exe :)

>>17850369 (OP)
We do the same thing we always do. Randomly ascribe some artifact to something mentioned in the Bible.
Also hire some American anti-semites, because there's a ton of Semites in need of being shot.

>>17850369 (OP) You're not considering what probably happened. "Someone" cleaned everything for the next act. This has been going on for ages. Earth is a stage.

>>17850387
and all the men and women playas.

Don't hate them.

>>17850389 In truth, it is only One playing all parts.

>>17850369 (OP)
>be archaeologist
>dig around Arabian desert
>find nothing
>bedouins never existed

>>17850418
>meanwhile, in the desert
https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/archaeology/a65254389/archaeologists-find-lost-oasis-arabian-desert/

>>17850369 (OP)
>>bible.exe has stopped working
Why do you greentext like a /g/ user from 2011

>>17850387
Haha, sure thing.

>>17850369 (OP)
Cool! Have fun burning.

>>17850500
Oh!!! I will have fun burning

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipqqEFoJPL4

You can use historical critical methods to pull out some historical threads from the old testament. Theres some random line in exodus that accurately remembers bronze age egyptian agriculture somehow. It's actually interesting when you analyze it deeply, you can see where all the northern israelite myths came into jerusalem after the assyrian conquest and got integrated into the bible. And you can look into the patriacrch stories and see the fictive kinship where different groups made a unified story as they all merged together. Theres also some legit ancient stuff like the song of deborah which is so old its in some proto hebrew dialect closer to cannaite than biblical hebrew. Joel Baden and John Collins are my favorite scholars for this, although John Collins is later 2nd temple stuff