>>2662082
You don't know?? Seems pretty obvious to me. Feeling awkward and shy and embarrassed definitely kills the ability to actually feel and internalize affection and intimacy. It's literally the opposite.
Part of growing up and becoming a self-actualized adult is specifically the self-acceptance and confidence that allows you to experience intimacy in the moment. You are not guaranteed to develop in such a healthy manner. This is part of what's meant by "the mental health crisis": that a huge fraction of people (mostly males) are entering adulthood unable to accept their bodies and emotional vulnerabilities and needs. Which stunts / prevents normal healthy relationships of all kinds. Friends, romance, love, sexuality - all of it.
And there's a pretty significant body of science now establishing that a major contributor of this phenomenon is the profound misandry of culture and society. Not like it's really a competition, but the sad fact is that the misandry is so intense that even being perceived as caring about the health and support of men is automatically labeled as misogyny... Who's more oppressed? The people who are not even allowed to talk about the fact that they have problems, let alone what their problems actually are...?
As gays, we have - potentially! - a unique privilege and advantage in this issue: we can love and accept each other without the baggage of worrying about whether we "seem gay"... but this has a caveat. First we have to escape the oppression of heteronormativity and internalized homophobia.
This does not mean you have to be feminine to be a "true gay". That's the heteronormative homophobia. That right there, specifically, is the homophobic misinformation and stereotyping. There is nothing wrong with being an effeminate gay. There is nothing wrong with not being effeminate. You can be yourself - it has nothing to do with being gay and healthy.
