>>7600106 (OP)Relatable. I spend a lot of time dealing with these emotions in my own mind.
How creativity kind of also shifts between "authentic and inauthentic". Or maybe conscious and unconscious. Trying to bridge that gap and bring that creativity into whatever it is that I am working on.
To kind of tame the flood of internal narratives, past experiences and general noise to get in touch with an ever present deeper part of myself.
Something intangible yet real.
Like dreams, peeking into worlds of incredible vistas and architecture when the mind is at peace or preoccupied with something else entirely. Substances impact it in different ways, even time of day has a part to play in it.
Like in brief moments I can see my own potentiality but in order to get there (for me at least) it entails a lot of preparation. So much mental energy is being allocated towards fundamentals in order to reach that goal nowadays.
Of course it's coupled with time spent not chasing goals. Just simply allowing myself to pour my mind onto the canvas.
I suspect the whole AI situation truly accelerated that for me. Like I'm fighting to make the most of time.
Probably a lot of people feel the same.
A group of creatives realizing that they can't give up on that part of themselves and thus leaning into it even more.
Maybe realizing how important it is for them to create.
My ramble is a bit of a tangent but what you wrote still struck a chord with me.
I too start off with this kind of disposition. Riddled with doubt, self ridicule and insecurity only to find that it is just feels right. Those moments of relief where things just click. Where I can understand why I have this strong drive to keep going.
Maybe It's part of the struggle that we go through as creative individuals.
Very curious to gain understanding on how others think about this.
We are such solitary/ insular individuals. It's at least rare for me to even see someone verbalise this and it in turn feels cathartic.
