ive been wanting to be a better person at life and i figured maybe drawing is one of the ways i can do that. Drawing, among some other stuff, has never left my mind in years, even after not doing it at all during those years.

but ive never had a real reason, motivation or whatever, to actually invest time on it. Or atleast, not a reason that kept me at it, that my retarded mind would think "THIS is the reason why". For me, drawing is kinda cool but also kinda boring. Idk how to explain. I just want to be better, to do something else other than goon my life away or be useless to my family.

If anything i would appreciate if you were to share your reason to draw, what keeps you at it, you motivations, etc..

I don't think you need a reason. I've felt like quitting multiple times. But in the end I always kept drawing. I don't enjoy it. I don't make money off from it. I don't get any praise for it. All I get is harsh criticism and stress. Yet I keep on drawing.

>>7617121 (OP)
>"To be a better person"
Do you mean to be a "good" person? or a more skillful "complete" person?
Art won't make you a "better=good" person 'per se'. Actually, It may trigger the worst traits hidden in your person, since you will acquire a sort of "superpower" that you can control at will, and you will definitely fall to the depths of your goon nature. But, you will feel "better", you will find purpose, creating your own pleasurable experiences in artistic expression. Wich is not the same at all, as sitting in submission watching a video, or playing a per-programed virtual experience or prompting infinite images in front of your eyes.
The real act of creating your will and desire puts your mind and body into an state of "meaning and purpose", you're creating a new exciting mental journey for yourself. Every time you think about something and putting it into visual form by the act of your own physiological self. That's actual magic. Don't tell me that becoming a mage/sorcerer ain't cool.

>>7617141
but i cant do that. Anything that ive tried to do without having a great reasoning or deep passion or whatever, ive always dropped. If i dont see a point, i dont do it. The issue is that art and making stuff in general wont leave my mind, but theres never been a reason for me to commit to it and do them, the thought never leaves my mind, even if i try, at maximum it will last for 2 days or something, then i go back to where i was.

>>7617121 (OP)
wow wow wow, you drawing the Supercuck the last cryptoasshole

>>7617172
i couldnt care less about being "good", but i wont actively try to be bad, quite the opposite, i try to not be bad to those around me but if cant help it then so be it. In the eyes of ants, humans are cthulhu.

So, i think your second definition is what i want. But i cant bring myself to do stuff. Being a mage would be cool, be as an illustrator or maybe programmer, but why would i be one? Just for the sake of it? If yes, unfortunaly this doesnt motivate me(and i hate myself for it, its cool, THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH, SO WHY?). Seems like a "whatever" reason to me, i dont know how to explain.

another thing ive remembered, i asked my sister about this, and she said im looking for a reason to keep doing stuff instead of a reason to do stuff. I dont know if its true, but might be, idk.

>>7617317
so?

>>7617121 (OP)
>ive been wanting to be a better person at life
gay
But atleast youre draw, so yeah that makes you better than 99.5% /ic/, but still that motivation is stupid fucking gay lol

>>7617558
>gay
tf? how is it gay to not want to be a NEET gooner retard that is a disgrace to his family?

>>7617121 (OP)
The same as why a person would want to learn to write or learn another language, programming or not. It's translate what's in your head out into the world, even if you don't share it, it's like capturing your mind in the knowledge and memories you had at that point like a picture, but as an experience instead.
Like writing a story or a game, it's to depict an experience that has a message you wanted to make with everything you've gathered in your head that you like as the elements of your vehicle medium.
The purpose of skill is finding parts of yourself that you will come to like in your work.

>>7617676
this has been extremely insightful and helpful. I have always liked video games, and i came up with 2 ideas, one, is that games are an experience to have, and two, is that there is a game for everyone in the world. I guess I should apply that first idea to the way i see art and drawing too. It would change alot. I will still be thinking about it all, but this might be one of the best answers ive had, not just some empty stuff.

thank you, anon

>>7617121 (OP)
I dont have a reason to draw. Before it was to learn, but now I feel happy with my skills, so I just draw to pretend like I enjoy drawing.