Thread 211653695

What are you doing with your life in your country?

>>211653695 (OP)
just passing by

Planning to end it

my setup

>>211653695 (OP)
>What are you doing with your life in your country?
Nothing i dont know how to live it or enjoy it and feel jealous of everyone else is living and doing something with their life while i just do the barely minium in my life in every single aspect in my life though

>>211653695 (OP)
I've got a therapy session tomorrow
My mind's been feeling... fucked these past few weeks
it's like depression but like, there's no brain fog or nothing - my mind is as clear as day and I can still function
it's like I'm on auto-pilot but I'm concsious about it - it's like when you realizie you're in a dream

>>211653695 (OP)
I work.

work sleep work. fuck teenage whore. repeat.

>>211653695 (OP)
I know exactly what I want to do but I have to fucking sit and wait for my finances to recover because I refuse to wageslave to increase my income. So I just suffer however long it takes and I can't figure out a better solution.

>>211653695 (OP)
It's called minimalism.

I'm going to buy a sports car because I'm getting old and I have to spend my money on something, houses are too expensive and I can't talk to women, at least I can have a fast car

>>211653695 (OP)
That nigga needs a wall mount or a table for the TV.

>>211656720
Meme.
You'll total it and yeet yourself.

>>211656720
here sport cars cost more than houses

>>211655005
I can't legally say which part of that I lack and desperatly want, but let me tell you: I envy you.

Eat
Goon
Sleep
Repeat

>>211657232
>That nice log home for just $85,000
>mfw it would be 4-5x that price here

>>211657217
Hell yeah brother.

>>211653695 (OP)
Nothing. I've never had a lot of ambition, and as I grew older, I realised that there's absolutely no point in trying either. If I get a better position, all that's going to happen is that the state takes a bigger portion of my earnings and funnel the money to single mums and immigrants, and appearing as a desirable potential partner to women is not relevant since all women in legal age ranges that exist in the country are disgusting evil whores and I have zero interest in them.

The only reason I'd ever even make the attempt is to get myself a profession that I could practice in some third world shithole and get myself a cute young virgin wife there, have children with her and maybe finally be happy. But I'm too risk averse and lack ambition to go through with it.

So, deadend hamster wheel, video games and anime it is.

waiting to go to law school next year. I can't find employment in the interim which makes me nervous about my prospects of getting into law school.

I do not want to live but I do not want to die either. I wish I could annihilate any trace of myself and be rebuilt from the ground up

>>211653695 (OP)
I keep at it. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes bad. Sometimes I move forward a bit, sometimes I misstep and fall backwards. I've learned to live with it. But I've given up expecting things to turn out "normal". I'm making my peace with ending up as what I am. Maybe I won't. Maybe I will. But the more time goes on the more I leave it all to Fate. God, and the such. I've come to believe that I only remain alive and in relatively not awful condition because of God. My choices, my habits, they have always been wrong. But I'm still here. So who knows? Maybe God's got something planned. Fate and circumstance have a way of bringing us where we are supposed to be, I suppose. Even if Fate has a habit of not letting us choose our own endings, I'm learning to trust it, so to speak. I have the nudging feeling that this force needs me to suffer a bit, to make up for my flaws, in order to get this bit of help but hey, you know, it could be worse. It is what it is. We all have our crosses to bear.