>Too conscious to enjoy my current painful state of being
>Too lackluster to change anything
Did God made me just to laugh at me

theres 8 billion people on the earth. some of gotta suffer cry piss and shit some of gotta love laugh enjoy the moment. just accept this simple fact.

>>211933202 (OP)
>current painful state of being
If you're not actively trying anything to change your situation it means that you don't really suffer. Deep down you're ok with it. You may have some temporary spurt of motivation but that's it.

Real suffering is so unsupportable it occupies your mind 24 hours a day and escaping it is the only thing you actively seek. Not browsing internet forums u see